Work Text:
[The individual interviews.]
PD: What are you hoping the person you’re having a date with will be like?
JHK: I hope they’re just someone I can bounce off easily. Someone whose personality can flow with mine, I don’t necessarily have any specific personality traits in mind. [Laughs.] Does that mean I’m too easy?
MYG: I hope they’re not annoying.
Kim Seokjin smiled at the camera, “Love is unexpected. You can find it in the oddest places, in the weirdest nooks and crannies. You can find it in the person you suspect least or even in the person you’re expecting. It’s always there, just waiting. Love is a surprise.”
The first dates restaurant – just like any other restaurant, with a team of employees, delicious food, and patrons on every table. The major difference between this establishment and every other? The only people who have ever met before are the employees. Everyone else is on a blind date. Kim Seokjin, the maître d'hôtel, and certified love expert pairs lonely singles up to enjoy their first date with cameras catching their every move.
Jimin leaned over the bar, batting his eyelashes, trying to convince Namjoon – the bartender – to pour him a shot. Namjoon point blank refused – “Jimin, you’re a waiter and if you get drunk, you’re going to end up spilling a salad on someone’s head.” Jimin pouted.
“Namjoon, I’m thirsty though,” Jimin whined and Namjoon pointedly slid a bottle of water towards him. “You’re mean. I just want to have some fun.”
Namjoon rolled his eyes, “you always want to have fun. We can have fun after this shift has finished.”
“We?” Jimin winked, skipping off to avoid the hand that Namjoon swung towards him jokingly. He made his way over to Taehyung and Jungkook, the other two waiters who laughed at the cheeky smile on Jimin’s face. The cameras were rolling but it was easy to forget – they were hidden cameras so that people didn’t get distracted. They knew they were on television, of course, but there weren’t giant cameras in their faces unless it was the individual interview before or the couple interview after the date.
“Alright, my little love makers,” Seokjin clapped his hands, ignoring the grimaces and noises of disgust from his dirty minded team, “I’m excited about this next date. It’s a bit of a risk but I think it’s going to work.”
PD: Why are you single?
JHK: [Sighs.] I always just find friends, y’know? The people I’m interested in are never interested in me and the people who like me I can only ever see as a friend. The people who like me are too [waves hands] boring? Too tame. No, no, not tame or boring. They’re just...safe. I don’t really want safe. I want a bit of a challenge but at the same time, I want a loving and equal relationship? [Pauses.] Is that even possible?
MYG: [Pauses.] I put my everything into my music. I put everything I have into writing and producing that I have nothing left for anyone else. I don’t really know how to make or keep a relationship. I guess I just need someone who can understand that.
Seokjin clapped his hands excitedly from his maître stand at the entrance of the restaurant. “My experiment is coming, my boys,” he grinned. His team ignored him, his youngest three boys busy checking on tables and Namjoon chatting with the guests at the bar waiting for their date to arrive.
Jung Hoseok smiled as he walked through the front doors, trying to hide his nerves with a cheerful grin and exclamations of compliments towards Seokjin.
“Your date isn’t here yet,” Seokjin smiled, waving a hand towards the bar, “please have a seat, have a drink. Let me take your coat.”
Hoseok thanked him and sat down on a bar stool, ordering a beer from Namjoon who nods at him.
“Nervous?” The bartenders deep voice made Hoseok jump and he squeaked a bit, causing both of them to laugh, Hoseok rolling his eyes at himself.
“You can tell?” Hoseok bit his lip nervously and Namjoon smiled gently as he passed the drink over the wooden bar. “Is it really fucking obvious? Shit, sorry, I shouldn’t swear.” Hoseok cringed. Jesus Christ.
“Nah, you’re okay,” Namjoon shrugged, “I’m a bartender. I see a lot of people and I can see through a lot of people. You learn a lot from serving drinks all day. Really,” he mused, “you can learn from anything.”
“How philosophical,” Jimin’s voice was monotone, rolling his eyes at Namjoon, “you can learn a lot from being a bartender and yet, you can’t learn how to shake a drink in a cool way that doesn’t leave glass in your arm.” Hoseok laughed as Namjoon shrugged sheepishly and continued to clean a glass, not bothering to grace Jimin’s comment with a reply.
“Anyway,” Jimin turned to Hoseok, “I just wanted to say good luck. I hope I’m your waiter tonight – Seokjin is really excited about your date. I wanna see if it’ll be as interesting as he thinks.” Hoseok’s face drained of all colour as Jimin giggled and skipped off to do his job.
“Oh, fuck,” Hoseok groaned, taking a far longer sip of beer than what’s probably socially acceptable.
“Oh fuck indeed,” Namjoon agreed, leaning over and patting Hoseok on the shoulder.
PD: What are you hoping for in the future?
JHK: To be happy. I want to be happy and loved unconditionally. I hope that’s not too much to ask for.
MYG: I want to live comfortably and happily. [Hesitates and sighs.] I don’t know if that’s the right answer though. I don’t know if I can ever find someone to live comfortably with. [Hesitates again.] But that’s what I want. Yeah, that’s what I want in the future. [Clears throat.] What I’m hoping for.
“Min Yoongi,” Yoongi tells Seokjin his name and he smiles, ticking Yoongi’s name off and taking his coat.
“Good news,” Seokjin’s voice purrs, “your date is already here! Follow me.” He walks over to the bar but Yoongi stays stock still. Taking a deep breath and giving himself a mental shake, he follows the tall blonde over to where a dark brown haired man was sat, sipping a pint of beer.
Namjoon nodded his head towards Seokjin and Yoongi and Hoseok followed his gaze before nearly falling off his chair. He stood up quickly as Seokjin gently pushed Yoongi in front of Hoseok.
“Hi,” Hoseok breathed out. He was hoping his date would be hot but he wasn’t expecting the most attractive man he’d ever seen in front of him. Head to toe in black, from his hair to his leather jacket to his ripped skinny jeans, he was – simply put – beautiful. Beautiful and badass and everything Hoseok got ever wished for aesthetically from a man.
“Hey. I’m Yoongi,” Yoongi nods, shaking Hoseok’s hand. Yoongi mentally takes a note of the long and tanned fingers, the sturdy grip, the warmth of his palm.
“Hoseok,” the grin Yoongi receives is enough to make his heart skip a beat and then have a very angry mental word with himself for being too soppy already.
“Well,” Seokjin claps, grinning, “take a seat again, get a drink Yoongi. I’ll get one of the boys to bring you to your table when it’s ready.”
Hoseok sits back down as Yoongi hesitantly slides onto the barstool next to Hoseok.
“I’ll have a beer as well,” Yoongi tells Namjoon before tacking on a polite “please.” Hoseok felt his spine tingle from the deep timbre of Yoongi’s voice. His voice matched his appearance perfectly.
“So,” Hoseok grins, determinedly putting his nerves to one side, “what do you do?”
Yoongi snorts around his sip of beer and raises his eyebrows, “what do I do?”
Hoseok’s grin widens, “isn’t that what you’re meant to ask on a date?” Yoongi rolls his eyes good naturedly and shrugs.
“I guess so. I work in music. I’m a producer but I write and rap too,” Yoongi replies and is taken aback with the way Hoseok’s eyes light up.
“That’s really fucking cool,” Hoseok’s enthusiasm felt nothing but real to Yoongi and it was almost enough to bring Yoongi’s cheeks out in a blush, “I’m a dancer but I rap too. Not seriously though, just for fun. I like to perform at clubs sometimes.”
“Oh shit, yeah?” Yoongi is visibly surprised and Hoseok laughs – he knows he doesn’t look or act like a stereotypical rapper but it’s true. Hoseok was even working on a mixtape and he’d made himself enough of a name in the underground scene to have a few loyal fans. “I do as well, what’s your rapper name? I assume you have one.”
“J-Hope,” Hoseok grins and Yoongi splutters, choking on his beer. Hoseok panics slightly and throws napkins at Yoongi and smacking his back. Yoongi pushes him off, insisting that he’s fine, really, he’s not proper choking.
“I just wasn’t actually expecting to have heard of you,” Yoongi’s face is red from either a blush or the choking and it kind of makes Hoseok’s heart melt, “I rap under the name Agust D.”
This time it’s Hoseok’s turn to splutter as he exclaims, “Fuck dude! I love your mixtape, Jesus, what a coincidence.”
Seokjin smirks as he eavesdrops on the pair at the bar, watching them excitedly discuss their rapping career. Ah, yes. Definitely just coincidence. Taehyung catches his eye, as Seokjin realises he’s just smirking to himself, and grimaces. Seokjin glares. Taehyung lets out his deep laugh as he makes his way to a table, charming the guests.
“Hey wait,” Namjoon says from the other side of the bar where he was serving someone else – a blonde man by the name of Jackson who had promptly talked his ear off about nothing in particular who Namjoon had only managed to shut up by interrupting him to yell at the other two – “did you say Agust D? Dude, I love his mixtape. Really hit home, you know?”
Hoseok squeals and Yoongi laughs, more at Hoseok than Namjoon. “Oh, I know,” Yoongi drawls, “really hit my home. Especially considering that’s where I wrote most of it.” Hoseok cackles at his, admittedly rather lame, joke and Namjoon gapes slightly.
“You don’t rap as well, do you?” Hoseok is mainly joking but Namjoon nods and introduces himself as Rap Monster. Yoongi and Hoseok echo similar sentiments of “oh shit!” and the trio enthusiastically begin to discuss mixtapes, rapping and the underground scene in general. Jackson whined at the lack of attention from the corner of the bar.
Seokjin frowns. Why was Namjoon interrupting? How are they going to bond properly if they’re too busy making friends? Seokjin grabs Jimin by the shoulder as the smaller man nyooms past him to kick Jungkook in the ass while his back was turned. “Go distract Namjoon,” Seokjin demands quietly as he pushes Jimin in the direction of the bar. Seokjin then gently hits Jungkook on the back of the head and tells him to get Yoongi and Hoseok’s table ready already.
“Namjoon,” Jimin’s high pitch cuts through an intense conversation of whether Bobby or Zico is a better rapper and grabs all three of the men’s attention, “stop making friends. You don’t need more friends.” Jimin uses his full lips to pout effectively, Hoseok laughing over Namjoon’s weary sigh.
“You jealous?” Yoongi answers instead of Namjoon, making Jimin jump slightly and causing the smallest of blushes.
“Jimin is possessive for such a tiny soul,” Namjoon laughs and Jimin crosses his arms angrily.
“I’m not tiny! Take that back, you ogre,” Jimin got even poutier and Namjoon stretched over to uncross Jimin’s arms, picking up one of Jimin’s hands.
“Look at these hands,” Namjoon shows Yoongi and Hoseok (and Jackson from the corner) Jimin’s hands, which are admittedly almost half the size of Namjoon’s hands, complete with stubby fingers and a chubby palm, “these are tiny hands.” Hoseok and Yoongi contemplate Jimin’s little hands, before choosing to compare their hands together.
Hoseok winks and slides his fingers between Yoongi’s while their palms are touching, measuring the size of their fingers. Yoongi laughs, more to hide his blush than anything, and Hoseok looks far prouder of himself than he probably should.
Namjoon and Jimin share knowing looks, Namjoon letting go of Jimin’s hand just in time for Jungkook to come dashing over, announcing that Yoongi and Hoseok’s table is finally ready, sorry for the wait. Hoseok and Yoongi stand, Hoseok making a mental note of the height difference between the two, and follow behind Jungkook. They don’t disconnect their hands.
PD: I know you two don’t participate in dates, but what do you think makes a good date?
JJK: If you’re able to be yourself then I think that’s always a good sign.
KTH: I agree, even though that doesn’t always make for a good date. Your actual personality might be horseshit.
JJK: Hey, one man’s horseshit is another man’s treasure.
KTH: Shut up, you furry.
JJK: [Stares deadpan into the camera.] Always be yourself unless you’re Kim Taehyung.
“What do you wanna eat?” Hoseok asks, studying the menu with its elaborate choices which are far fancier than he’s used to. If he’s being honest, he’s just asking to try and get an idea of what’s appropriate. He’s way out of his depth with this food.
“If you mean off this menu,” Yoongi scowls, “I have no idea. Why is it in fucking French? I don’t speak French.”
“Hon hon baguette, Eiffel tower, un croissant,” Hoseok muses with a wink thrown at Yoongi over the table. Yoongi threatens to throw water over his head. Despite that he doesn’t pretend that he’s not laughing. He’s already too worryingly comfortable to pretend with Hoseok.
When Jungkook comes over to take their order with a smile, they both decide to shut their eyes and pick a dish at random off the menu. Jungkook politely calls them idiots and Taehyung laughs from where he stands at the table opposite. Seokjin overhears and threatens to fire them both. Jimin protests from across the restaurant, arguing that he can’t be the youngest in a team full of old people.
“I’ve seen this show on television before,” Yoongi hums, “obviously - I wouldn’t just throw myself into something completely unknown – but I didn’t realise just how dysfunctional the staff here really are.” Yoongi says it to make Hoseok laugh but surprisingly, when he looks at him, Hoseok is studying his face carefully.
“Is dating not completely unknown to you?” Hoseok forms his question carefully. Yoongi thinks about lying, it’s right there on the tip of his tongue to bullshit Hoseok and say he’s not that bad at dating but.
“Okay, no, it is. I haven’t actually dated anyone in years,” Yoongi sighs, “everyone who’s interested in me grows bored and I never feel strongly enough to change for them.” He shrugs. Honesty is meant to be the best policy anyway. If Yoongi scares Hoseok away, it’d be a shame but he wouldn’t be surprised.
“Change what?” Hoseok sips at his drink, doing his best to ask gently. He doesn’t want to sound like he’s interrogating. He questions himself – is he meant to ask personal questions? Is this a big dating no no? Has he just fucked it over before anything’s even begun?
Yoongi’s silent for a few seconds and Hoseok is opening his mouth to apologise before Yoongi beats him to it, “I get too stuck inside my own head. Too stuck inside my recording studio, too stuck in my writing, too stuck in my room. No-one wants to get stuck there with me and I’ve never felt strong enough to try and stay present in the real world and my relationships, I guess? I know what I mean but I can’t really explain. I write far better than I talk.”
Hoseok nods, “No, no I get you. I used to get like that with my dance. I think sometimes I get a bit like that with the personality I try to convey. It’s not fake or anything,” Hoseok assures, “I’m over the top naturally but I get stuck forcing myself to be this bright sunshine moodmaker even when I feel really shit. I get nervous a lot, y’know, but I try and ignore it by forcing myself into this character and then I just end up a bit stuck there. That’s too much for a lot of people.”
Yoongi is quiet but he nods, reaching his hand over to gently stroke Hoseok’s arm. Hoseok can almost feel his bones melt at the soft look in Yoongi’s eyes – accepting, understanding.
Seokjin squeals quietly to himself as he watches Yoongi stroke Hoseok’s bare arm. He’s too far away to hear their conversation but their actions are enough. “Good job,” Jimin pops up at his shoulder and Seokjin jumps, “I think they might be my favourite couple already.”
“I agree,” Taehyung appears on the other side of Seokjin, making him jump again, “I hope they invite us to the wedding.”
“Why am I the only one ever doing any work?” Jungkook’s voice sounds out from behind Seokjin and makes him jump for the third time. Seokjin curses all three of them, holding his hand over his chest to try and calm his fast beating heart.
“Stop just standing there,” Namjoon calls from the bar, making all four of them jump. Jimin’s sharp screech making Seokjin, and his poor delicate ears, flinch. Seokjin groans, bending over with his hands on his knees. This job would be the death of him one day.
PD: Do you believe in love at first sight?
PJM: I might just be an old romantic but I think so.
KNJ: I think that scientifically-
PJM: If you’re going to say something annoying, please don’t.
KNJ: Rude.
PJM: It’s an easy question. No-one asked about science. Do you believe in love at first sight?
KNJ: [Pauses.] I don’t know if love at first sight is always, or ever, real true love but I think it exists.
PJM: [Softly.] You believe in true love?
KNJ: Yeah. [Nods.] I do.
Hoseok and Yoongi groaned at each other as they forced themselves to finish the whole of the food in front of them. Their main courses were far too extravagant for their usual tastes but holy shit, it was so good.
“I think I just gained five stone,” Hoseok groaned, hand shaking as he forced the fork to his mouth. Yoongi stretched his back and moaned his agreement.
“How do people eat like this all the time?” Yoongi frowns, mentally trying to convince himself to eat at least two more mouthfuls, “this is impossible to finish, I’m so fucking full.”
Hoseok pushed his dirty thoughts away, far, far away and sighed, “They must be so fat.”
Yoongi choked and Hoseok laughed, loud and cheerful. Yoongi laughed back at him, gummy smile warming Hoseok’s heart.
“Do you want a dessert?” Yoongi asks a few minutes later, when they’ve finally stopped forcing themselves to finish their leftovers.
Hoseok pulls a disgusted face and shakes his head vehemently, “If you try and feed me one more thing, I will explode. Exploding isn’t first date behaviour.”
Yoongi narrows his eyes, “What date are you meant to explode on?”
Hoseok grinned, “The second, obviously.” Yoongi snorts with laughter and Hoseok grins back at him. Yoongi admits to himself that he’s never felt more comfortable on a date.
Jungkook skips his way over to ask about any more food and the pair aggressively turn him down, requesting the bill instead. Jungkook calls them pussies. Taehyung snorts loudly from where he’s sat at an empty table, playing piano tiles on his phone. Jimin lands on Taehyung’s lap when he slides by and whines at Jungkook not to bully his new favourite couple. Yoongi and Hoseok both choke at Jimin’s words and Seokjin dashes over, fretting and convinced they’re both definitely dying. He yells at Namjoon to grab the first aid kit, making Namjoon jump and smash a glass.
“Jesus Christ, you’re all such messes,” Yoongi gapes, watching as Namjoon simply sighs and walks off to collect a broom.
“It’s all part of the charm, I promise,” Seokjin sighs and the rest of the troublesome waiters nod.
Hoseok smiles, “I like it. It makes me feel like I’m not the only loser here.” Yoongi’s returning smile is far gentler than Hoseok anticipated but he expected the squeaks of protest from the employees, arguing that he is definitely a loser but they are not. Jungkook excuses himself to grab the bill, pen and paper along with the card machine, ignoring other tables that want his attention as he gets straight back to Hoseok and Yoongi’s table, where they’re still chatting with the rest of the employees.
“I got a pen and paper. I’m writing mine and Namjoon’s number down for you both,” Jungkook says bluntly, resulting in Hoseok and Yoongi’s eyebrows rising up their foreheads. “I want to be friends, duh.”
Jimin and Taehyung quickly jump on, bickering on who can scribble their number down first.
“I’ll pay,” Yoongi says, reaching for his wallet. Hoseok kicks him in the shins under the table, painfully.
“I’ll pay,” Hoseok argues and Yoongi can tell that this would probably go on for a ridiculously long time.
“Fine,” Yoongi shrugs, “we’ll go halves. Next time, I’ll pay for it all.”
Yoongi said it casually but the mention of another date has him on edge. What if he’s read the signs wrong? What if Hoseok’s not interested at all? Oh fuck, what if he only wants to be friends?
“Shut up,” Hoseok’s voice makes Yoongi’s heart almost stop completely, “I’ll pay for it all next time.” Yoongi’s head shoots up from where he was focused on staring at his wallet, staring at Hoseok. Hoseok grins and Yoongi feels his mouth settling into its large gummy smile.
[Yoongi and Hoseok’s joint interview.]
PD: So, would you like to see each other again?
MYG: What a horrific question. Of course not. I hate him. He’s absolutely terrible.
JHK: I couldn’t agree more. I had the worst time of my life.
MYG: I’m glad you agree. Good riddance, ugly.
JHK: Says you.
MYG: Shut up.
JHK: You shut up.
MYG: You know, I think I could probably grow to really fucking like you.
JHK: Yeah, I think you could too.
MYG: Hey –
JHK: - Which is good because I think I could too. I think this could be a really good thing.
MYG: This?
JHK: Us.
MYG: Us. I really like the sound of that.
JHK: Yeah. Me too.