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Darkness pressed against him as Mydei struggled to comprehend what was happening. He was weightless, adrift; his body wasn’t responding to him at all. Where was he? What was happening?
A faint shiver crawled up his spine and Mydei knew what that meant. He had died again. He willed himself to rise, to push back, to return to the light. He struggled against the dark, resisted its pull, refusing to be taken. The surface had to be close by. He would not drown in the River.
Just a bit more. Almost-
Mydei jolted up with a gasp, his breathing heavy as he took stock of his surroundings. He expected a battlefield or some ruins, with Titankin ready to pounce at him in his moment of vulnerability. Instead, he found dark curtains, a warm blanket, and a soft bed.
Oh. It happened again.
The Kremnoan groaned and pressed his face into his hands. He wasn’t dead. He wasn’t even dying. He was just trying to fall asleep.
He sat there for gods’ knows how long before deciding trying to go back to sleep would be a fruitless endeavor. Groggily, he got up, got dressed in something comfortable and headed out into the city.
It must be well into the Curtain-Fall Hour because there was barely anyone. Perfect. Mydei could take his walk in peace. He decided to just let his feet do the thinking, aimlessly wandering the unusually quiet streets of Okhema. As he walked, his mind went back to his days in exile, how different things were back then.
He remembered late nights laughing under the stars, loud and mildly tipsy. He remembered jabbing elbows and nudging shoulders in the cramped spaces they took refuge in for the night. He remembered slender arms gently holding him, resting his head on a warm shoulder.
He missed him. He missed them. The prince did his best to keep his vulnerabilities to himself, to not let his weaknesses cloud his judgement. However, in moments like these, where their absence dug into the hole in his heart, Mydei found himself missing the comfort of having them around. The ease at which he used to sleep surrounded by his closest friends. The reassurance that with them around, death would not find him yet.
The grief surged through his chest and tightened his throat. No, he wasn’t going to cry in the middle of the street. That would be unbecoming of him. Yet, the weight in heart threatened to crumple him if he left it unaddressed. No, not here. Not where people can see. He needed someplace alone, out of sight, somewhere far, far away-
“Awoo!”
Mydei blinked out of his spiral and looked down at the source of the sound. Fig Stew looked up at him expectantly, his green tail wagging behind him. The Kremnoan paused for a moment then finally took stock of where he was.
The Garden of Life. Empty this late into the Curtain-Fall Hour, save for the chimeras that call this place home. During this time of the day, the chimeras take this opportunity to relax, play, or sleep outside of their various responsibilities. Mydei barely registered the steps he took getting here, but now that he was it hardly surprised him.
This place was his sanctuary, too.
Fig Stew kept close to Mydei’s feet as the prince made his way to the great tree and sat down among its roots. The orange chimera immediately nestled himself into Mydei’s lap, kneading his paws into his thighs before settling into a curled ball. Mydei rested his hand on Fig Stew, gently petting his fur and softly smiling at the little rumble emanating from him.
This had been their ritual for a few months, when Mydei found sleep especially difficult. Fig Stew approached him first, curious about this newcomer to the Garden when Mydei had met Aglaea here for a debrief. Mydei initially ignored the chimera but the little one was quietly, persistently approaching Mydei with a raised tail and a happy look on his face.
Eventually, Mydei gave in and started giving Fig Stew the attention he was asking for. The two got close very quickly, and when Mydei came walking into the Garden during one of his restless nights, Fig Stew was right there to provide company and comfort.
And now, with grief numbing his senses and exhaustion beginning to take hold, Mydei leaned his head back against the tree and let his eyes close. This would be a short nap, just enough to get him the energy to survive another day. He focused on the warmth on his lap, the soft rising and falling of Fig Stew’s chest, and sleep gently took him to the realm of dream.
Maybe he would get to see them tonight.
-//-//-☀️-//-//-
Phainon sighed and rolled out of bed. He had been tossing and turning for the last quint and he was still wide awake. He spent most of today standing with Aglaea at Council meetings, addressing the needs of the people and other such policies. One would think, given how boring those tended to be, that Phainon would easily find rest afterwards, but no. No, he was restless. He needed to move, to act, to do something.
He needed a walk.
Donning more casual attire, Phainon set out from his home and into the empty streets of the Holy City. A few late-night citizens waved at the Deliverer as he walked by, all of which he responded to with a polite wave of his own. Phainon didn’t know where he was going, but he knew he had to go somewhere.
He wandered the city a bit, slightly unnerved by how eerie it was when it was this quiet. Quiet ruins in the dark places outside of Kephale’s light were nothing new to Phainon, but seeing the streets lit by the Dawn Device empty was like walking through the ghost of a city in peril.
A sharp reminder of what awaited them beyond the safety of Okhema.
Phainon shook his head to clear his thoughts. He was supposed to be relaxing, not making his restlessness worse. He decided he needed some company.
With a destination in mind, Phainon’s feet carried him faster through the city, up winding streets and eventually to the elevator that carried him up to the Garden of Life. The chimeras that were still awake flocked to him, eager to see this regular visitor return.
Phainon chuckled as he patted them, surprised at how many were still active this late into the Curtain-Fall Hour. He had only ever visited them during their working quints, so seeing them outside of that was sight to behold. He caught them, chasing each other in games of tag, lounging on the marble steps, and dozing on chairs and tables. The ones around him rubbed their fluffy cheeks into his legs, eager for his attention. It was a warm, happy place to be.
Wait, but where’s Vigethos?
Usually, the blue-gray chimera would be one of the first to greet Phainon, trilling happily with his tail in the air. The Deliverer scanned the Garden for any sign of the little one until his eyes fell onto a sight that took his breath away.
There, sleeping peacefully under the boughs of the great tree, was an unguarded Mydeimos. Dappled light cascading from the leaves above gently highlighted the curves of his arms, the stray hairs on his head, the unusually soft features on his face. His lips were parted ever so slightly, his chest rising and falling in a slow, steady rhythm.
The fierce Kremnoan prince, undying warrior, at peace and at ease among the gnarled roots.
Phainon stared for a little longer than would be considered polite. This felt like something straight out of Cyrene’s fairy tales. He felt his feet move him closer, the chimeras tailing after him. He stopped just short of the tree, close enough that he could see the two chimeras bundled together on Mydei’s lap. Fig Stew was in deep slumber, curled next to a familiar blue-gray chimera staring up at Phainon as he approached.
“Traitor.” Phainon muttered teasingly.
Vigethos simply closed his eyes and snuggled closer to Fig Stew. Phainon chuckled and quietly settled himself next to Mydei. The Kremnoan looked even more serene up close, and at this distance Phainon could hear Mydei’s soft snores. He looked so calm like this, his normally sharp features softened with blissful sleep. Phainon had never seen him look so peaceful.
And…
“You’re so beautiful…” he whispered like a prayer, watching the way the wind gently shifted the prince’s hair. Phainon reached out to brush it out of Mydei’s face, only to falter and retract his hand before it made contact. The warmth in his chest bloomed up to his face and his heart pounded so loud it was a miracle Mydei didn’t wake up. “It’s honestly a little unfair…”
“I’m so afraid… Afraid I’d lose this… that I’d lose you…” Phainon confessed, his voice frail and quiet and honest. “I’m afraid that… if I asked for more, you’d leave… but you make that so difficult…”
A mournful sigh escaped Phainon’s lips, unaware of the chimeras now settling down around him and Mydei. “I wish I had the courage to tell you… just how screwed I actually am…”
He sat there watching Mydei, watching his faint twitches, counting the lashes on his face. They were so close. It would have been so easy to just reach over and brush the side of Mydei’s face. To lean closer and feel Mydei’s breath on his lips. It would be too easy.
Phainon banished the thoughts to the deepest parts of his mind. Mydei trusted him. To act on any of those thoughts would be a betrayal of that trust. He had to be content with what they had. It had to be enough with the distance between them.
With the Dawn Device warming his skin and the fuzzy feelings of a one-sided love settling in his core, Phainon felt his eyes get heavy and he closed them for just a moment. A short nap wouldn’t hurt. Just for a while. Just to savor a feeling he knows could never go anywhere.
Let him indulge in this for a moment longer.
-//-//-🍷-//-//-
How long was he out?
Mydei blinked his bleary eyes open, the question popping into his mind immediately when he could no longer feel anything in either of his legs. His short nap must have turned into something much longer indeed, because this was the most rested he had felt in a very long time. He felt warm and content and safe, which were feelings he thought he would never experience again. On his lap, Fig Stew was still sound asleep, though he was joined by a second chimera Mydei couldn’t remember the name of. It explains the dead weight his legs have become, at the very least.
As his vision cleared up, he became aware of snow-white hair, broad shoulders, and soft snoring coming from his side. Suddenly, Mydei was face-to-face with Okhema’s Deliverer, sound asleep and surrounded by chimeras. Phainon’s shoulders went up and down with his breaths, his lips parted slightly with a small rivulet of drool coming out the side. The dappled light filtered through the great tree made the man look like he was glowing, a divine being walking amongst mortals.
For a moment, Mydei was stunned by the scene before him. To see the normally sunny and energetic Deliverer calm and quiet and so at home amongst the leaves and grass was a sight to behold. He was so serene, and so painfully handsome.
Wait.
Mydei sat up with a start, waking Fig Stew and his friend from their slumber. Hot embarrassment shot up to his cheeks as two thoughts crossed the Kremnoan’s mind. First, Phainon caught him asleep in the Garden, unguarded and vulnerable. Second, he decided to stay nearby and fell asleep himself. Mydei didn’t have time to unpack all of that.
Instead, he quickly got up, apologized to the chimeras, and made his way out of the Garden praying to every titan in existence that nobody else saw them.
-//-//-☀️-//-//-
“Awoo!”
Phainon scrunched his face when he felt a soft paw hit his jaw. “Just a few more moments, please…”
“Awoo!” Vigethos continued to paw at Phainon’s face, each one more insistent than the last.
“Okay, okay! I’m up!” Phainon sighed and pushed Vigethos away, stretching the sleep out of his limbs. His whole body felt stiff from his sleeping position but he didn’t mind.
He turned to see if Mydei was still there, only to be filled with disappointment at the empty space next to him. Phainon sighed and shakily got to his feet, deciding it was time for him to return home and get ready for the day.
One quick trip to his apartment later, Phainon changed into his usual attire and started weaving his way through the city. Early risers greeted him as he passed, many of whom he knew by name just from how often he saw them on his way to meet up with Mydei for the morning. He climbed up the stairs to the rooftops and emerged onto the red tiles searching for the Kremnoan prince.
To his delight, Mydei was already there, doing some warm-up stretches. Phainon raised his hand in greeting. “Morning, Mydei! You’re here early!”
“Deliverer.” Mydei responded gruffly. “You’re late.”
“Not entirely my fault, you should have woken me up.” Phainon pouted. “You just left me there this morning.”
If Phainon didn’t know any better, he would have sworn that Mydei’s face darkened with a blush. The prince scowled and crossed his arms across his chest. “I am not responsible for your sleeping schedule.”
Phainon lifted his hands in feigned defeat. “Still, we could have gotten breakfast, or something.”
Mydei looked out to the horizon, almost like he was avoiding Phainon’s gaze. “Spare me your sentimentality.”
Weird. Mydei was acting very strangely today. It was almost as if… “Mydei… are you embarrassed?”
The Kremnoan was silent for a long while, but based on the stiffness in his shoulders, the guess was probably correct. A teasing grin spread on Phainon’s face as the realization hit. “My gods, you are embarrassed.”
“Not a word.” Mydei growled, his ears turning a faint shade of gold.
A soft laugh bubbled up Phainon’s chest. “Mydei.”
“Not. A. Word.”
Phainon opened his mouth to respond, but decided against it when he saw how stiff Mydei had gone. Clearly, the Kremnoan found this mortifying, so the normally provocative Deliverer held his tongue. “Alright. Alright.”
The two stood in silence, the bustle of the city washing over them as they watched the crowds from their vantage point. From here, the only real noise was from the flying amphora overhead, and Phainon felt like they were in a different world entirely.
“I’m sorry to ask,” he began slowly, watching Mydei’s body language for signs of a line crossed, “but why were you sleeping in the Garden?”
Mydei gripped his arm so tight Phainon was afraid he’d draw blood. The Deliverer took this as a sign to abort. “Sorry, sorry. Forget I asked.”
The air felt tense, awkward, not at all like their usual brevity and snark. Phainon almost had the mind to leave Mydei to his devices when the Kremnoan finally spoke.
“It’s none of your concern, Deliverer. Just leave it at that.”
Phainon could tell there was more to it than that, but he knew better than to push the topic. “Okay. I won’t bring it up again.”
Finally, he saw Mydei relax a little and it loosened the tightness Phainon didn’t realize was in his chest. The two stood there for a few minutes, slowly falling back into their usual banter before Phainon made a snide remark about Mydei’s technique and a wrestling match broke out on the rooftop. It was fun and exciting, but Phainon couldn’t help but feel Mydei holding back a bit, almost like he’s hiding something. It was so unlike him to be this guarded around the white-haired man.
Something to unpack another time.
-//-//-//-//-//-
Since that day, Phainon found himself watching Mydei a little more closely. To most, he was the same unflappable prince he’s always been, aware and observant at all times. To Phainon, the man who could keep up with Mydei’s insane combat prowess, he noticed the fraction of hesitation in his strikes, the uncertainty in some of his steps. There were signs of duller eyes, of faint darkness showing underneath them. He wasn’t sleeping; that much was obvious to Phainon and the Deliverer couldn’t help but feel partially responsible for it.
For a few weeks, he wracked his brain over what he could do to fix it. It was clear that Mydei didn’t want to talk about it, but Phainon had to do something. The white-haired man thought back to the Garden, of the things there that could contribute to what had let the Kremnoan sleep so soundly. He sat there almost every day, watching the chimeras run around doing their jobs when the answer finally clicked in his mind.
-//-//-🍷-//-//-
Mydei sighed as he made his way back home. He was beyond exhausted, having spent the whole day sparring with Phainon. He was loathed to admit it, but the lack of sleep was finally catching up to him. He had stopped going to the Garden to not get caught so vulnerable again, but now he was fighting every night for just at least a quint of sleep. It was stubborn and prideful but Mydei couldn’t allow himself to be so unguarded. He had far too much at stake.
As he rounded the corner to his apartment, Mydei stopped with surprise as he spotted a familiar orange bundle of fur laying by his door.
“Fig Stew? What are you doing here?”
“Awoo!” The chimera responded, getting up and raising his tail in greeting. Mydei approached slowly, still uncertain what the little one was doing here away from the Garden. As he stood there watching, Fig Stew turned around and pawed at the door, clearly asking to be let in.
Mydei fumbled for his keys and opened the door, and Fig Stew sauntered into the apartment like he owned the place. As the Kremnoan locked the door, the chimera made a beeline for the bedroom. “Wh- Hey-”
The befuddled prince quickly made his way over, arriving just in time to see Fig Stew hopping onto the bed and settling himself into the sheets. Mydei stared for a moment before everything clicked into place.
“You’re here to help me sleep, aren’t you?”
“Awoo!” Fig Stew’s tail wagged happily, a clear sign of affirmation. Mydei signed in resignation, despite the soft smile on his face. He quickly got ready for bed, settling into the sheets and gently placing the chimera on his chest.
“This wasn’t your idea, was it?”
Fig Stew looked at him with his big red eyes, his tail twitching before he simply curled up and went to sleep. Mydei softly laughed, carding his fingers through orange fur as warmth crawled his way up to his face. Slowly, his eyes began to close and his breathing began to slow.
As sleep took him, he whispered to the empty air, “Thank you.”