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Dry. Apo’s throat is dry. The sort of scratchiness that consumes all hope of thinking about anything else. Demanding relief that Apo can’t give into.
She swallows and hides a grimace at the pain of her throat scraping. She needs to eat. Something. Anything.
A warm glow lights up in front of them under the doctor’s hands. The warmth of the ruined tower’s beacon should soothe them. Should make the hunger go away. Heal. Instead, Apo feels the holy light sap at the little amount of strength left in their bones.
The sun doesn’t feel too good, either. It doesn’t burn, like the children’s stories said it does, but Apo feels lightheaded and has to squint.
Tired. So tired. Hungry. Need to leave.
Legs glances up from the beacon to eye his vampiric bodyguards, rising to his feet. Apo tries to watch anything other than the movement of Legs’s neck and fails. She can’t see the skin hidden by the collar, but she feels the sudden, aching urge to tug the fabric down and take and feed. Legs would let her. All she has to do is say she needs help. He said he’d help her, so he can prove it.
No. God, no! Apo can’t do that to him, can’t feed like that, not like Scott and Pyro did to her. She doesn't think she could control herself, she might do the awful thing and turn him, and the blood is disgusting, Apo is disgusting-
“Now, the question is, do I want to keep attempting this, or should we run?” Legs muses, crossing his arms.
It’s not safe here. It’s not safe anywhere. Especially not when Apo’s here.
Apo chokes out a response. “They came at us last time. They're probably gonna come at us again.”
Legs glances at the open sky. Too many places for them to be hiding. They’re coming, they’re coming, Apo needs to run- “We should probably run,” Legs settles on.
“Yeah,” Apo manages. Same page. The doctor thinks like them, which makes sense, given what he told them when they first came to Oakhurst.
“Let's go,” Cleo concurs at about the same time.
“We should run,” Legs repeats as the three start descending the rickety tower.
Stomach aching, Apo can’t even run anymore. They haven’t felt this weak since Fernsfield.
Cleo gives a curt nod while they follow Legs down. “They don't need to know that we know.”
There’s blood in Cleo too. They just fed. It’d be stale, but it’d be something. But Cleo would never let Apo do that. And Cleo’s already mad at Apo. Can’t risk anything. Can’t do anything.
Apo’s descent is hazardous. Thank god the ruined tower is… ruined, because at least her tripping isn’t seen as out of the ordinary when Legs and Cleo are doing the same thing. It’s only when Apo can’t hold back a grunt as she misses the last step that someone takes notice.
“Are you alright?” Legs asks, doubling back with an outstretched hand.
Apo takes it and tries not to flinch at the warmth in Legs’s palm. So much blood is circulating inside of him. As soon as they’re on their feet, they drop the hand like it burned them. Because it basically did.
A tongue traces against Apo’s teeth inside their closed mouth. Warm. They need that warmth.
So much blood and meat. Flesh and viscera and sinew all for her. So close. So easy. Need to eat.
It would feel so good. Take what they need, take it-
Concern from the meat. “Apo?”
Oh god. Apo feels sick. This isn’t a sack of blood, Apo is talking to Legs, the doctor, who is her friend. She is not going to eat her friend. She’s not gonna even think about it, because that’s gross and horrible and Apo hates blood and-
“I’m fine,” Apo gets out. Think. Think. Keep trying.
Legs hums, but he turns away. “Good. We have to keep moving.”
God, they were joking about this earlier on the trip. Cleo and Doc were, anyway. Doc said something about not ringing the dinnerbell, and Cleo told him he was delicious, and Apo told her to not say things like that, and here they were being worse! Cleo isn’t eating anyone, Cleo’s keeping it together, and Apo can’t even go on a trip with a human without wanting to…
Eugh. Apo can picture it. She can picture it and it’s too real it’s too familiar it’s too-
Calm down.
They do keep moving. Cleo and Legs are ahead, side by side and talking absently, while Apo silently trails behind them. Apo tries to focus on keeping an eye out for vampires instead of looking at Legs’s neck. The pale forest is as dry as Apo’s throat. There’s nothing here. Nothing to stop Apo from ripping into Legs’s flesh and drinking and getting everything she needs before Cleo can even cry out in alarm.
God. God. Apo doesn’t want to hurt anyone. She doesn’t want to be this, be here.
Dangerous. So hungry. Can hardly think, but-
“I think we should split up,” Apo blurts. She feels so cold. “We’re less of a target that way.”
“No, no one goes alone,” Legs argues over his shoulder.
Stop moving that neck, stop being so warm and alive and appetizing-
Apo comes to a stop, and Doc and Cleo follow suit. Hoping the scratch in their voice doesn’t register, Apo continues, “Legs, I’ll be fine. I can bat back to town and be there in seconds.”
Legs huffs. “I suppose, but I think we’re more secure as a group. Divided, we fall.”
She knows. She knows, of course she knows, she doesn’t want to leave him, especially not alone with only Cleo to protect him, Cleo who was talking about turning him the other day-
But talk is better than the other vampire who’s a sudden movement away from sinking her fangs into Legs’s jugular.
Stomach churns. Blood is so close and it’d be so easy-
“If she wants to go, let her go, Doc,” Cleo states. “She’s not a target like you are.”
Thank you, Cleo! “Yeah, and I can make sure everyone’s okay in town,” Apo adds.
There’s a moment for Legs to dither. “Fine. Just please be quick, and be safe. Even if they can’t turn you anymore, they can still hurt you.”
Apo laughs humorlessly, swallowing around the saliva building in her mouth. “Yeah, I know. You two stay safe and get back to town.”
The rest of the goodbyes become white noise. Sensitive, they feel like they can hear too much. Their jaw is locked tight, caging the fangs behind their lips.
Apo wrenches herself away from her meal and the competition and shifts into a tiny winged thing. One that could still cause harm, so she flies into the dead trees, her only company being the roaring in her ears. The world below Apo spins as it gets further away. Everything’s cold and prickling and too much and too little.
“Oh my god, oh my god,” Apo spits to themself. “I almost- I mean, I wasn’t going to, I never would- I can’t- Oh my god, I almost ate the doctor.”
Get out, get out, can’t be here, can’t hurt anyone, need to find something, need to kill something, need to eat eat eat eat eat-
The sun blinks out, and Apo’s wings feel heavy. Wind races around her, and the ground becomes alarmingly closer, but everything’s too fuzzy for Apo to think more than oh shit.
There’s a thick crack as Apo’s little body slams into the earth. A garbled throat makes a terrible noise. Apo doesn’t think her wings should be bending like that. Actually, she thinks her neck shouldn’t be bending like that. Blurry. Pain. It’s not going away.
Tears trail slowly from one eye, diagonally across Apo’s snout, and to the ground. Can’t move. Need to move. Get up.
No one will help her. No one should help her, because she’d probably just eat them. Apo needs to do this, she can’t fail Oakhurst, she can’t hurt these people, she just needs to get the fuck up.
Broken bones shift, and Apo says something like aaggrrrrrhhhhhhhhh as their body rearranges into something a little more normal, something humanoid, but still not right. Their body isn’t theirs anymore. It’s wrong, and they can’t even look at it.
Maybe Apo will die here. Can’t. Cherri. Wait, Apo’s a vampire. Right. Well, maybe they’ll disappear and wake up somewhere else like Scott. Apo still sees him unscathed after watching him die when they close their eyes sometimes.
Move. Move.
Apo digs her hand into the gravel under her. She grits her teeth, hating the size of the fangs in her mouth, and drags herself forward. Keep going. It looks like she reached the riverbank, so it’s not much farther. Hungry. Keep moving.
Not healing. Not better. Too hungry, too weak, can’t think, move.
Hand. Gravel. Drag. Growl. Water.
The river isn’t dead. There’s blood in the river. Apo can almost taste it.
Water fills Apo’s lungs, but they can’t remember the last time they’ve breathed. Their body follows their head, and Apo pulls themself under the current. They sink like a stone.
It’s nice down here. Apo feels less weighed down. Maybe she can just stay here. No, probably not.
Fish. Blood. The world fades out, and Apo lets go. There’s sharpness, slipperiness, and sudden clammy warmth. Apo cries out at the life coursing through her and chokes as she instinctually fights against the fresh bout of water in her lungs, but it won’t kill her. Nothing can touch her anymore. Nothing can hurt her. She struggles until she gets another mouthful of fish under her fangs, and then she’s alive.
More. More!
Blurry, submerged, meat, blood, life, healing…
Apo sits on the riverbed, not having to worry about the amount of fish guts and bones accumulating around her, because the current carries the evidence away. As her bones realign and thoughts get a little more solid, she settles herself. People eat raw fish all the time. This isn’t weird, if you ignore the fact that Apo’s sitting underwater to do the deed.
Okay, that part’s probably hard to ignore. Whatever.
The problem is that it takes a lot out of Apo to heal, so it doesn’t feel like she’s even eaten anything. And there’s a lot less fish around, for some unknown reason.
Reluctantly, Apo swims to the surface. She crawls onto the surface and heaves up water. It’s not like she needs to breathe, but she feels like she does, and she wants to. God, she shouldn’t be able to do what she just did.
Hungry. Get food, and get back to town. It’ll be bad if Legs and Cleo make it back before her.
Where even is she? Their lungs and throat are still burning, and their eyes sting. Everything’s wet except her painfully dry throat.
Alright. Stay in your head. There’s one of those tome crypts ahead, so town should be just a little past that. Great.
Keep moving.
There’s the scent of blood ahead. A tiny body, not a human, so Apo fades out and comes back with something sticking to her face. Feathers. Chicken. There’s red on her hands. God. Oh god.
Apo glances behind her, wet hair clinging to her face. There’s a trail of viscera, of little broken animal bodies. Apo hopes vampires can’t throw up, because then she’d have to start all over again.
Still, she gags. Her head spins. “Jesus. Oh, Jesus. I’m gonna be sick.”
Eyes falling to their body, Apo flinches back from the red staining Cherri’s gifted dress. It’s hard to see in the black fabric, but Apo knows it’s there.
“No!” they blurt. Not Cherri’s dress. “Eugh, eugh, I don’t like this!”
Apo crawls away from the animal corpses and curls into herself. She holds her head in her hands and whimpers.
“I can’t do this,” she gasps. “How can I- Oh god, I’m going to hurt her. I’m going to kill someone!”
Horrible, disgusting, dangerous-
Eugh, the blood on Apo’s hands feels gross against their hair. They hold their fingers away and stare.
Trembling, Apo sticks their bloody fingers into their mouth. The blood is awful, but it calls and Apo needs it and Apo feeds and keeps eating.
Oh god, how is she going to go back to town like this? What would anyone think? Splattered with guts and mud, soaking wet… The bloodstains shouldn’t be obvious, but when combined with everything else?
No one can see her. No one can be near her.
The fountain. If Apo can just wash up in the fountain before anyone sees, it’ll be fine. No one will know, and she can get back to checking on everyone. Maybe take one or two cows. Or three.
Go. Move.
Sluggish but pulled along. One foot in front of the other. Marching.
“It’s fine,” Apo mumbles. “It’s so fine. This is normal. Just a normal lady on her normal way back to a normal town.”
Oakhurst. Finally. For once, Apo hopes everyone is out. They hate the possibility, since they’re supposed to keep these idiots alive, but it’d be better if the townsfolk were off doing god knows what and didn’t have to see Apo like this. Didn’t ask her anything, didn’t look at her too long, didn’t get too close with their bodies full of blood.
They have to protect the town. They have to, they have to, they have to…
Apo stumbles through the side gate towards the fountain. She dunks her head in, holding her breath on thankfully recovered instinct, scraping away the blood and guts and gravel clinging to her face. Next, she cleans her clothes as best she can. She’ll have to properly wash the dress, but she can at least wash off the bits of flesh and feathers.
Rising from the fountain, Apo shakes herself out and grimaces. "Okay. Okay..."
“Apo? Whatcha doing?”
Apo lets out a yelp and flinches back away from the intruder. The shock turns to a drop in her stomach at the sight of who noticed her.
“Pearl!?” Apo shouts. “You’re in town!?”
Pearl grins with her hands on her hips, looking about the same as when Apo last saw her. “Yeah? Aw, why, were you worried about me or something?”
“Yes!” Apo gasps. “Me and Doc and Cleo went looking for you! Cleo said you got lost, and I- I thought…”
Oh god, oh god, they went all that way, Apo had to reveal themself, and Pearl was just back in town?
Pointless. Can’t do anything.
Holding up her hands, Pearl reassures, “Woah, well, I’m alright, clearly. I just got a little turned around, but I made my way back. And hey, if you were with them, then where are they? Did you get lost, too?” Pearl ends with a cheeky look.
Apo takes the excuse. “Yeah. Yeah, I did."
Pearl laughs. "See? Not so easy to stay together, is it?"
"It's- Yep, it's not." Apo's skin is clammy. "I just- I thought it would be better to make my way back rather than get even more people lost. Doc and Cleo should be back soon, though.”
“Sweet. But you didn’t answer my question, silly. What were you doing in the fountain?” Pearl asks, tilting her head.
“Uh…” Apo swallows. “Just felt like it. I… like water. And I got pretty dirty from the trek, so…”
“Weird, I like it!” Pearl praises. “Well, I guess I gotta wait for my roomie, then. I feel like I missed a lot today.”
“Yeah,” Apo agrees firmly. “Yeah, you did. I’m, uh, I gotta go breed more of my cows. So…”
Thankfully, Pearl lets Apo escape with only a few more pleasantries. Apo staggers to her cattle, cracking open her jaw, trying to pretend that she hadn’t been imagining Pearl’s neck under her fangs.