Chapter Text
Phil sits idly beside Techno at a table in Nikki’s new cafe, close enough to the counter where the girl in question stands with Dick opposite her to hear their conversation.
“Listen, B wants to get involved in Techno’s side of the family more, apparently. He said something like that. He’s gonna come visit you. It’ll give you good press, so expect a lot more customers.” Dick has a very dire expression on his face.
“Then why do you have that look on your face?” Nikki asks, smiling nervously.
“B’s trying to even out his daughter to son ratio, okay? No matter what you do, don’t give him eye contact or mention your trauma. He will adopt you faster than you can process it.” Dick explains, the very picture of seriousness.
Techno, apparently having overheard, snorts. Phil grins. “New father in law’s got a lot in common with you, huh?” He elbows Techno, teasing.
“I remember when we used to make fun of you for having the adoption problem.” Techno shoots back, rolling his eyes. Phil’s smile fades.
Techno blinks immediately. “What’s wrong?” He slides his hand over to Phil’s to hold it.
“I keep remembering him.” Phil admits. He can see that Techno understands it’s Wilbur Phil is talking about by the way he sets his mouth in a thin line, suddenly not betraying a single emotion.
“I keep havin’ this feeling.” Techno replies. “Like he’s close by.”
“He used to say it was a twin power, didn’t he? That you could always tell if the other was near.” Phil reminisces, unable to smile.
Techno gives him a concerned look at last. “You okay?”
Phil doesn’t meet his eye. “Not really, mate. I do miss him. A lot.”
Techno makes a face and turns away.
“You do too, don’t you?” Phil asks.
“No.” Techno deadpans.
“Tech.” Phil raises an eyebrow at him, unimpressed.
“Wilbur was insane and I don’t miss him.” Techno replies.
“Whatever you say.” Phil squeezes Techno’s hand. Techno squeezes back.
“You know, that’s exactly what Big Q said.” Tommy appears behind them, startling Phil.
“What?” Techno sits up a little straighter.
“He told me, ‘Wilbur was a crazy fuck and I would never miss him’. I could tell he was lying though.” Tommy explains, seemingly more comfortable with talking about Wilbur now. Phil distantly wonders what must’ve happened to cause that.
“I thought they were a pyramid scheme.” Techno says.
“What?” Phil and Tommy ask at the same time, matching tones of disbelief.
“You know. Like Mlem. Multi level marketing.” Techno shrugs.
“You mean male loving men?” Tommy asks, already grinning.
“You’d know all about male loving men, wouldn’t you?” Techno provokes. Phil sighs.
“Excuse me? What are you implying?” Tommy shouts, indignant, loud enough for Dick and Nikki to startle out of their conversation.
“I’m implying gay.” Techno says simply.
Tommy reaches over for Techno, probably to strangle him, but Phil swats his hands away. “Boys. Enough.”
Dick gives Phil a grin as Techno and Tommy glare at each other.
✦
“I think I should invite Quackity to the wedding.” Techno says.
Everyone goes silent for a few seconds, just to stare at Techno.
“What?!” Purpled sits up after a moment, accidentally knocking his head on Ranboo’s chin. Ranboo leans back, so Purpled mutters a quiet apology and returns his head to Ranboo’s lap.
It’s a quiet afternoon in the arctic commune, one of those days where Tommy’ and Tubbo have gone off adventuring in Bludhaven and Niki’s over and they’re all in a big pile, and Phil’s in the kitchen in the next room making them lunch.
Techno’s been droning on about wedding guests for a while to Niki and Ranboo, and Phil in the other room, and Purpled had only been half listening until —
“I said I —“
“Yeah, I got that, but why?” Purpled demands, incredulous.
Purpled isn’t an idiot. He knows he betrayed Quackity and if the man ever saw him again, they’d probably fight. It doesn’t keep him from wanting to see him again, though.
“I don’t know. So we can rekindle our friendship, or something.” Techno says.
“I didn’t know you guys even had a friendship to rekindle in the first place.” Nikki cuts in, leaning against Techno’s shoulder.
“I don’t want your opinion, nepo baby.” Techno jokes.
“Oh, come on! He’s not going to adopt me. We talked for, like, ten minutes.” Nikki huffs.
“I saw the glint of imminent adoption in his eyes.” Techno claims.
“I’m sure you’d know what that looks like. When you said you’d get rid of orphans, I didn’t think you meant you’d adopt them all.” Nikki shoots back.
“You guys are exaggerating.” Techno frowns.
“You have a problem.” Purpled offers unhelpfully.
“You kind of do, dad.” Ranboo admits.
“You do!” Phil chimes in from the other room.
“You guys suck.” Techno grunts.
“You still love us!” Phil yells back.
Techno sighs, the corners of his mouth twitching like he’s trying not to smile. “Unfortunately.”
“Back to Quackity.” Ranboo prompts.
“Yeah. I don’t get why you guys had such an adverse reaction to that.” Techno deadpans.
“Didn’t you kill him?” Ranboo asks nervously.
“Potayto, potahto. We’ve all tried to kill each other once.” Techno replies.
Ranboo winces. Purpled is pretty sure Ranboo has tried to kill Techno in the not so distant past. Techno seems to notice and reaches over to pat him on the shoulder.
“Also, I’m pretty sure he’s related to us in some way.” Techno continues. Purpled stomach churns with each second of conversation involving Quackity.
“Wait, really?” Ranboo asks, sitting up straighter, dragging Purpled’s head backwards with his lap.
“Yeah, like somehow.” Techno makes a so-so gesture with his hand.
“I always thought Tubbo was Schlatt’s illegitimate kid or something.” Nikki tilts her head to the side a bit.
“What does that have to do with this?” Purpled asks, seriously weirded out.
“Well, Quackity was Schlatt’s husband. So Tubbo could be his step son. Or just his son.” Nikki theorises.
“Wouldn’t that make him your in law?” Techno asks Ranboo, who looks mortified.
Purpled gets an image in his mind’s eye of Micheal’s grandparents being Techno and Quackity on their respective sides, and it’s honestly kind of hilarious. Could make for some fun birthday parties. Techno would get him a sword and teach him to stab people, and Quackity would teach him poker.
Purpled can almost feel Ranboo’s blood pressure spiking.
“Please ask Tubbo about that. It’d be so funny.” Techno grins, like he’s also had the same idea.
“I thought Tommy said something about Quackity and Wil?” Phil asks, popping his head in round the corner.
Nikki grimaces. “Remember my birthday in Pogtopia?”
“Yeah.” Techno looks oddly guilty.
“I caught the two of them making out afterwards.” She says.
“Is Quackity trying to kiss every insane person on this server?” Phil asks, slinking back into the kitchen, laughing.
“Actually, I’ve kissed Quackity once.” Techno says.
“WHAT?!” Purpled turns around to stare at Techno in horror. Ranboo blinks, frozen in his spot. Nikki lets out a stared laugh. “When?” She asks.
“Pogtopia, on your birthday. It sucked, he tasted like mouth. I never got kissing.” Techno shrugs.
“Then why did you kiss him?!” Purpled asks, still disturbed.
“I genuinely have no idea. Don’t remember. I think he thought I was Wilbur or something.” Techno says, and Purpled can tell he’s tellling the truth. Phil snorts from the other room. “He was going for that server wide record, huh?”
“Holy shit.” Purpled covers his face with his hands.
“Anyways, should I add him to the invitations?” Techno goes on.
“Techno, If he sees me, he will kill me.” Purpled says.
“Live entertainment?” Ranboo offers, still looking shell shocked from Techno’s admission.
“Shut up?” Purpled swats at Ranboo.
“I’ll invite him. I might get bored.” Techno decides.
Purpled throws a pillow at him.
✦
Techno slides into bed, using one hand to pull the covers over him and the other hand to reach for his book.
“You smell like cigarettes.” He accuses, and Dick gives him a guilty smile.
“Old habits die hard.” He replies.
Techno raises an eyebrow. “Well, they still die, so kill them faster.”
Dick snorts and leans over to kiss Techno on the cheek, but Techno swats him away. “Go brush your teeth.”
“You’re the boss.” Dick says, and he hops out of the bed and disappears into the bathroom.
“Do you think I should invite a guy I killed to our wedding?” Techno calls.
“Which one?” Dick’s voice is muffled by the brush.
“Quackity?”
“Doesn’t he hate you and Purpled?” Dick asks.
Techno pauses. “I thought it’d be funny.”
Dick peeks out from behind the bathroom door, with the brush still in his mouth, to give Techno an unimpressed look.
Techno shrugs. “We did some bonding after that. There was this banquet to take out the egg, do you remember when I mentioned that?”
“Unfortunately, I do remember.”
“Anyways, that’s not relevant. Think about it.”
He can hear Dick spit out water and sigh. “I’ll think about it.”
They’re both silent for a bit, as Dick makes his way back to bed and curls up beside him. “You’re not going to invite any of Dream’s friends, are you?” He asks.
“I don’t think he had any friends close to the end. Apart from me, I guess.” Techno says.
Techno sees Dick make a face at Techno’s claim of friendship, but he doesn’t adress it. “The end?” He prompts.
“Uh.. I think Tubbo blew him up.” Techno answers, uncomfortable.
Dick doesn’t look too surprised, so it’s safe to say he’s probably used to Techno’s family at this point. “Did you find the body?”
Techno blinks. “I don’t think they did. I.. didn’t check. I think I would’ve gotten mad if I saw the body.”
Dick gives Techno an unsure look. “Mad at who?”
“Them. For killing him. I know that’s not fair, because I’ve tried to kill them. But he was my friend. He never betrayed me.” Techno admits, looking away.
“Techno.. You know what happened when Tommy was exiled, right?” Dick asks Techno. He has this look on his face, like he’s about to pull the pin out of a grenade and he doesn’t know how powerful the explosion might be.
As usual, the voices flare up at the mention of Tommy’s exile. Techno runs a hand over his forehead. “What do you mean?”
Dick pauses. “Purpled told me this, because he overheard Phil talking about it. It’s personal, so I probably shouldn’t tell you, but..”
Techno digs his hand into his skin to stop the voices from overwhelming him. Dick blinks, and grabs his hand. “Don’t do that.”
“Can you just tell me what you’re going to say? They’re worked up.” Techno says, and a look of understanding passes onto Dick’s face.
Dick opens his mouth, but he’s interrupted by the doorbell. He shoots up. “Shit! I forgot Damian was coming over to stay tonight. I’ll tell you later, promise.”
Techno bites his lip as Dick leaves to open the door, hard enough that he draws blood.
It won’t be enough to silence the voices, though, nothing is ever enough.