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Shiro was tired. Tired of worrying, tired of thinking, just tired. All he wanted to do was pull an Allura and fall asleep for 10,000 years. Preferably a dreamless sleep, void of anything and everything his subconscious decided to thrust upon him in the night. Hopefully as empty as the expanses of space, and as endless.
The Black Paladin closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. It was at least 2 hours earlier than he normally woke up in the mornings, and he had somehow wandered into the room where Sendak had been kept as prisoner. When he had nightmares, Shiro usually ended up making his way here, though he wasn’t quite sure why.
That night’s horrors had been more vivid than usual, with fresh new memories and occurrences of his year as Hagar’s plaything. Worst, though, was when the dreams evolved into fictitious, yet all too real-seeming events: Voltron being destroyed, his teammates being captured and tampered with like he had been, and the Princess—
Shiro shook his head violently, trying to shake the darkness from his mind. He couldn’t think about this right now. His pulse was already tripping, breath starting to come in uneven bursts. He needed to calm down.
“Shiro?” a gentle voice asked.
The black paladin whirled around to see Pidge standing near him, her laptop tucked under her arm.
“Oh Pidge,” Shiro sighed, trying to calm his erratic pulse, “It’s just you. What are you doing up so early?”
The girl shrugged, “I don’t sleep much,” she took in his worn expression, “Are you okay?”
He tried for a smile, “I’ll be fine, Pidge.”
“That’s not really an answer.”
Shiro grinned at that, “You sounded just like your father there.”
Pidge’s eyes went wide at that and then composed herself, “What’s up? Are you having the nightmares again?”
“How did you—”
“There’s only 7 of us, Shiro. There aren’t any secrets to keep,” she interrupted and adjusted her glasses, “Want to talk about it?”
Shiro took a deep breath and conceded defeat; as usual, the green paladin’s logic was infallible. “They change all the time, which just makes it that much harder to deal with them. Sure, there are recurring themes, but each night is new and as terrible as the last.”
“Wow,” Pidge said after a moment, “And you have them every night?”
Shiro shook his head, “Not every night, but more often than not.” He paused, unsure whether to say his next thought, “They got worse after the Princess was taken by Zarkon.”
“Allura?”
He nodded in response.
“Shiro, you can’t keep beating yourself up for that; we got her back, didn’t we?”
“You don’t understand,” Shiro sighed, flashes of his latest nightmare coming back, “If I let her get captured once, who’s to say it won’t happen again? And what if, next time, Zarkon will take permanent control over the Black Lion, and you all are taken, and Allura would become the prize of the Galra, a slave to whatever—whomever—wishes. The things that could happen in the Galra prisons, especially to a beautiful princess—”
“Shiro, stop!” Pidge commanded.
The older paladin hadn’t realized that he’d been hyperventilating until he looked at the small girl beside him.
“Shiro, it’s okay, everything’s okay. Allura’s safe, your Lion is safe, we’re all safe here in the castle,” she grabbed his flesh wrist and squeezed it gently, “It’s okay.”
Shiro took deep breaths, trying to let Pidge’s words sink in. She was right; all of this was just in his head, everything was alright. They were safe, for now.
He hung his head and stared at the small, delicate fingers wrapped around his wrist, the part of him untouched by the Galra. Her hands were as small and soft as a child’s. Not for the first time Shiro felt a fierce protectiveness for the paladin with him. He swore to himself he wouldn’t let anything else happen to any of the paladins and Coran. And he’d never let Allura become the Galra’s prize. The Princess was no one’s trophy.
Shiro finally took a deep breath and met his teammate’s eyes, “Thanks, Pidge.”
She flashed him her impish grin and released his wrist, “I’m going to go get some space goo, you’re welcome to join if you’d like!”
Shiro smiled and followed the young girl out to the light of the beginning day.
***
Later that day Shiro sparred with Keith like he always did, but he could tell something was up. Keith didn’t seem near as focused or as driven as he usually was, and nearly got knocked out several times before Shiro decided to say anything.
“Got something on your mind, buddy?” he asked in between strikes, “You seem a little off.”
Keith growled slightly, “It’s nothing. I’m fine.”
Shiro didn’t believe that one bit, but he knew Keith could tell he hadn’t slept well and didn’t say anything about it, so he kept his mouth shut, too.
When they finally finished sparring, the red paladin surprised him, “Does it ever bother you? The seeming lack of dedication by the others, I mean.”
Shiro reeled a bit from the blunt force of Keith’s words and thought for a moment. Did it bother him? He supposed he could get frustrated occasionally at the other paladins’ lack of focus, but he cracked that up to be the fact that they were all teenagers with limited attention spans. Besides, looking at Keith, he didn’t think that was really what was bothering the red paladin.
“Is this about Lance?”
Shiro felt a small bit of satisfaction from Keith’s spluttering responses, knowing full-well how he felt toward the blue paladin. He also knew how much it bothered the younger boy when Lance constantly flirted with anyone they came into contact with.
“Hey, it’s okay for you to be jealous; just don’t let it affect the team, okay?”
The red-faced paladin nodded, and Shiro exited the room only to run straight into Allura.
“Oh!” she exclaimed, the tablet in her hand clattering to the floor, “Shiro!”
“Princess! I am so sorry, I didn’t see you there.”
“It’s quite alright,” she shook her head, “I should have been paying closer attention to my whereabouts.” She reached down to grab the fallen tablet.
“Here, let me—” Shiro bent down at the same time and their fingers brushed, “Sorry if it’s broken, I’ll—” his thoughts came to a halt when he looked up and met eyes the color of the galaxies. He suddenly wondered if he was so winded from training that he felt he couldn’t breathe.
“It’s really not a big deal. It takes more than a little drop to really damage Altean tech,” she said quietly, not breaking eye contact.
“Yeah, of course,” Shiro muttered, continuing to stare. He knew he should move, that he looked idiotic, that this was very grade-school of him. But she hadn’t moved, either. He could still feel her fingers ever so slightly touching his, and when they twitched is what shook him awake.
Shiro cleared his throat, rescinding his fingers from the tablet and the Princess’s lovely touch. Allura didn’t meet his eyes again as they both stood. A piece of her cascading hair had fallen out of place, and Shiro had to cross his arms to keep from fixing it.
“I’d better hit the showers,” his brain finally gave him to say, “I’ll see you later, Princess,” he turned to leave.
“Shiro?”
The paladin turned back around to face Allura, “Hm?”
“I—” she started, then seemed to rethink her words. It was the first time Shiro had seen her like this, unsure and—embarrassed?—and something inside him tipped slightly. “I don’t think I ever properly thanked you for rescuing me all those weeks ago.”
An emotion Shiro wasn’t aware he’d been feeling deflated in his chest, “Of course, Allura. I’d never let anything happen to you.”
“I know,” she nodded and then met his eyes again, “That’s one of the things I admire most about you. I also hope the next time I go with you will end better than the last. I’d like to protect you as much as you protect me.”
The Princess smiled at him, and Shiro thought, not for the first time, that such sincerity should come with a label: WARNING— EXPOSURE TO SMILE MAY OBLITERATE ALL COHERENT THOUGHTS.
Needless to say, Shiro managed to avoid spluttering like Keith and walked away from the princess with most of his dignity intact.
***
Shiro wasn’t sure at what point he realized it, but he found himself working beside Allura a lot more than he had been. He followed her around as she did her castle duties, asking her questions about Altea and the old Voltron paladins. She always humoured his questions, and asked several herself about Earth and what it was like, which Shiro was more than happy to answer. Even if it was something as ridiculous as explaining one of Lance’s memes, she was always eager and curious.
But the paladin found he loved every moment he spent with the princess, and as much as he worried about Zarkon taking her prisoner, he was always happy when she went on missions with him and the other paladins. She gave him more confidence and drive, and soon enough he stopped having nightmares of her capture in lieu of memories where they walked across alien planets after a successful day as Team Voltron.
Their hands might have brushed during those walks by “accident”, but he found he liked that, too.