Chapter Text
Ever since he could remember, Euijoo had always grown up in two separate homes.
His childhood home. The home he lived in with his Mom, step-dad, & step-brother Maki,
And the summer home.
The summer home wasn’t technically his parents house, in fact it wasn’t even anybody in his family’s. It belonged to his mom’s closest friend, Diana.
Euijoo’s mom, had met Diana sometime in college, they were both frightened & embarrassing 18 year olds trying to figure out where they truly belonged, what they truly wanted, and they sought refuge in each other freshman year. A relationship that would eventually carry into and last throughout almost their entire period of adolescence.
By their later adult years they both continued on with their lives, marriage, children, divorce, all of the many trials and errors of being an adult in society but they never lost sight of each other. They stayed by each other's side the entire way through, which meant that Euijoo had always grown up knowing his father, mother, & eventually new step dad and brother, but as well as Diana and her two sons Jo and Nicholas.
They were Euijoo’s first friends, They’d grown up together and spent every single summer around each other. Jo was playful, carefree, always smiling & trying to make Euijoo laugh at any chance he got, Even if his pranks were a little annoying sometimes, like his never ending will to always throw Euijoo in the pool when he was perfectly content sun bathing out on his towel.
Jo never took it too seriously, He was just happy to be anywhere and exist next to the people he enjoyed being around. Euijoo liked revolving around Jo, he always saw him as sunshine reincarnated, Always smiling about something and Euijoo could always use some optimism in his life, he was happy that Jo could be that for him.
And then there was Nicholas.
Ever since Euijoo was a kid, he was always so infatuated and so captivated by Nicholas’s presence. He didn’t have the same level of energy that Jo did, he was quiet and timid. And maybe a little socially awkward and anxious, but he shared a level of care and empathy that Euijoo always noticed. If Jo was the one to throw him in the pool, Nicholas was the one to ask if he was okay and help him out of the water by offering his hand.
He’d stay out on the beach with him by the water and build sand castles. He was always selfless when it came to Euijoo, Always stood by waiting for Euijoo to catch up whenever they rode their bikes together even if everybody else was miles ahead, He always let him have the last pop tart in the snack cabinet, Always let him pick which character he wanted in Mario Kart first, or the movie he wanted during movie night even if it wasn’t Nicholas’s first choice.
And he’d always made it a tradition to take Euijoo to the edge of the boardwalk for his birthday every summer and give him a friendship bracelet.
Every birthday he’d customize it for Euijoo, new beads, new charms, different colors, different string types, but one thing he’d always made sure to keep on the bracelet was a little charm of a cartoonish styled clementine.
Euijoo always questioned why he chose an orange to be a signature mark, to him it held no significance other than being a fruit he enjoyed. An object that he thought didn’t have any personal meaning to him so he thought, but on his 13th birthday when Nicholas gifted him yet another friendship bracelet, Euijoo was finally done pondering and questioning the significance of the random charm and just decided to ask Nico why he always made sure to include a clementine on every single birthday bracelet he’d gifted him.
“Because when we were kids you always picked the tangerines first out of my moms garden, but you always made note that I liked the strawberries better, And would always run at the first chance they were ripe to pick some for me, only choosing the absolute best ones in your opinion. So I thought I’d give you an orange for every single strawberry you hand picked for me. The charm reminds me of those days, the days when I felt the most safe. The most comfortable, and the most at home.” Nicholas paused. Looking up at Euijoo nervously, tying his fingers together in different awkward knots.
“You're my home, Ju."
And from that moment on Euijoo knew nobody would ever be able to make him feel the way Nicholas did. And he wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
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Something about this summer felt different, but Euijoo for the life of him could not figure out why. Granted he changed a lot since last summer, he finally ditched the 80s kid bowl cut, finally got to take off those stupid metallic and extremely gaudy braces that would always distract him from his other features, And he was feeling more confident about starting his junior year of high school.
For once it felt like things started looking up in his life, maybe this year would be an opportunity to expand his life experience before school, like finally going out to a party even though at the beginning of freshman year he swore to Harua he would never bend.
Maybe it would help him put himself out there more, and talk to other human beings that weren’t just his step brother, his mom, and Harua. He didn’t really care about making other friends he was content with the people in his life, he liked having people he knew he could trust, and he liked having friends that actually listened to him instead of just nodding along to whatever new fascinating subject that procured his interest, that would cause him to inevitably prattle on until he finally realized how long he’d been talking for.
But this was his junior year, He was almost 17 now and pretty soon college would start not before too long and he wanted to have some life experience before he got to college that didn’t just involve going to soccer practice, & spending the rest of his free time trapped inside of an arcade. So maybe he’d finally give himself the chance to act like a teenager for a little while longer.
And of course Euijoo would be going back to the summer house this year with his family, and this year with his new found confidence, and a slight change in his appearance, maybe this could finally be the year Euijoo finally came forward and confessed his long and petrous crush he had on Nicholas.
It honestly terrified him the idea of having to say his feelings out loud, because this didn’t just develop over night, he had been practically obsessed with him ever since they were kids, and what would Nicholas even think of this, would he be surprised? Would be happy? Would they start dating? Would they break up? All of the potential what ifs Euijoo had thought about all of them at least over 100 times and studied all of the different scenarios in which this could play out.
Maybe he was too melodramatic and overthinking all of this completely, maybe his crush on Nicholas was completely irrational and he just needed to get over himself, but no matter what he did, no matter how many years passed by, his feelings never changed, they never weakened they just strengthened and the thought of having to keep it bottled away any longer felt like a massive strain on his body, like his heart had handcuffs on it, locking it down into place.
So he knew he had to finally come clean. Just tell Nicholas the truth, even if it had the possibility of negatively affecting their friendship forever, he knew he would never be able to stop thinking about it unless he just sucked it up and pushed the heavy boulder restraining his body down on the ground. The only problem was how the hell was Euijoo going to go about this?
“You should confess to him once he gives you another one of those cheap gay bracelets for your birthday that you seem to love so much. It’s practically a wedding band anyway.”
Harua chuckled while posted up on Euijoo’s bed.
Euijoo looked up from his suitcase, setting down yet another pair of light denim jeans he knew he did not need to bring. It wasn’t like Diana didn’t already keep clothes for him in his room anyway.
“Oh my god it’s not a wedding band!” Euijoo exclaimed.
“You keep them in a fancy little pink jewelry box and slap anybody’s hand away like a little cat if somebody dares to come near it.”
Euijoo stared blankly, he couldn't even really say anything to defend himself, he hated to admit when Harua called him out.
“It’s just a stupid tradition we’ve had since we were kids. And anyway I don't expect anything from him. He'll probably be too busy this summer or just forget.” He muttered.
His voice quieted slightly after like he just processed the sentence he said out loud and was now disappointed about his premonition actually becoming true.
Euijoo shakes it off and immediately goes back to folding and unfolding clothes, tossing and turning outfits he thought looked good in the moment but then ultimately deciding on if it was really necessary to pack 10 pairs of pants that would be way too hot for the east coast heat.
Harua sits up straight, leveling himself with Euijoo to get him to pay attention.
“Then don’t wait. Make the moment happen yourself. Take him somewhere nice! There’s like 80 different spots in Cousins perfect for that shit. It’s practically just a town for expensive dates or really pretentious hobbies.”
“I mean it has like 10 different locations just to play pickle ball, Like what the fuck even is pickle ball? Just go play tennis at the country club like the rest of the PTA moms.” Harua emphasized clearly getting off track. Euijoo however didn’t really mind and just started chuckling at his enthusiasm and dramatic expressions. He liked hearing the passion in his speech. Even if right now he didn’t a hundred percent agree with what he was suggesting.
“Anyways my point is it’s a new year, it’s summer, and you’re hot as fuck, so you mine as well live life to the fullest and make out with another hot guy one who by the way is so clearly down bad for you and would say yes to your advances in less than a second if you just asked."
Euijoo just rolled his eyes at the statement, but honestly part of him wanted to believe Harua, there’s been times where he’s questioned that Nicholas did actually like him back and he wasn’t just completely delusional in his feelings for him, perhaps it was reciprocated. But he also knows himself and knows that if he started getting his hopes up too high that he had a very high chance of ending up disappointed, so for now Euijoo forced himself stay on the shore and play it safe before he went stomping into the ocean.
“And you know…just to put it out there he’s not the only guy out there…I mean there’s plenty of other guys interested in you too, like…even Jo perhaps.” Harua smirked at Euijoo with a devious grin nudging his arm lightly.
Euijoo stared at him dropping the hoodie he was folding in pure horror.
"What! It's not that crazy of an idea you mentioned to me that he was treating you a lot differently last summer, maybe he likes you…"
"I didn't even say that! I said that he was acting less annoying than usual. That could mean literally anything."
"Exactly! It could mean that maybe he's started to realize his true feelings for you, and he's tired of the constant banter!"
“Alright I am done packing and that is now your queue to leave. We are no longer having this conversation.” Euijoo immediately scrambled to his feet, shooing Harua out of his room at the first sight. Trying everything in his power to keep his face from turning into a tomato.
Harua laughed as he packed up his bag walking with Euijoo towards the front entrance. Euijoo just rolled his eyes laughing nervously as they exited the room.
“See you in a month lover boy!” Harua blew an exaggerated kiss towards Euijoo making an aggressively loud mwah sound. “Be safe! Let me know which one is the better kisser!” Euijoo could not contain it anymore his face turning into an exceedingly hot pink.
“Oh my god shut up!” He yelled back at Harua. “I will text you when I get there if I decide you didn’t annoy me enough to make me block you.”
Harua giggled, waving Euijoo off as he gets into his car.
Euijoo watched Harua pull away and stayed outside until he couldn’t see an outline of the car from where he was standing on the porch. He moved to sit on the first step, his knees bunching up to touch his chin. He thought more about what Harua said regarding Jo.
Honestly he’d never considered pursuing Jo but it’s because he didn’t think there was anything left to be pursued, His first assumption was always that Jo just saw him as a friend, And Euijoo was always so preoccupied with his own infatuation for Nicholas that the thought of being with anybody else never even occurred to him.
But he wanted this summer to be different from the others before. He wanted to try new experiences, and that didn’t mean exploring a relationship with Jo, it just meant anything could happen this summer and Euijoo needed to prepare for it.
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The drive from Euijoo's house to the summer house was long and tedious and usually Euijoo didn't love road trips. Quite frankly he almost always got sick in the car, And his Step dads collection of divorced dad rock songs for 3 hours honestly made Euijoo just wanna jump out of the car while on the freeway, But it was only on their way to Cousins Beach that Euijoo actually enjoyed the ride on the way there.
It was the East Coast at its most desirable. The view was never ending elegance. The air felt more soothing up there, It was purely landscape, right out of a painting. The grass greener than it ever been Euijoo thought he might've felt more at home here than he did anywhere else in the world.
It was crazy how much a view could change just from a 3 hour drive, It felt like he explored a corner of the earth nobody had ever seen before, Even though he'd come here for the past 16 years of his life, It never got old. He still always felt like he was just seeing it for the first time every time they'd drive up for the summer. Admiring new parts he hadn't seen every single time, Looking for any new changes on the way over.
It felt like meeting somebody new and being excited to getting to learn all the different parts of somebody's life, And yet at the same time it also felt like being completely familiar and completely entranced by somebody you'd known for your whole life. Somebody you felt like you'd known forever.
Euijoo wondered if it was possible for a soulmate to ever be a place instead of a person. He wondered if this is what falling in love actually felt like.
Spacing out at the window, He could feel his mother's gaze upon him, He turned to face her instead.
"We haven't been here in a while, Feels exciting to go back again doesn't it?" His mom looked up at him from the rear view mirror, A small smile painted on her face.
Euijoo nodded blissfully, Still making gaze at the window next to him.
"It's been an eventful year, I know you could use a break from all the pressure and stress. Both of you." She turned then to center her attention at Maki next to him. Maki offered a quick glance at her before returning back to his phone.
"I'm proud of both of you, You both have come out of your shells a lot more since last summer, And I can feel a lot more confidence in your characters, I hope you both can continue to grow more and gain more experiences before college."
Euijoo smiled back again at her.
His mom changed her tone, less inviting more firm this time.
"And I trust you both to be responsible on this trip, I wanna see best behavior replicated the whole way through."
Maki rolled his eyes. "Anddddd there she goes."
"Knew that cheesy speech wouldn't be able to last long without one final lecture."
His mom looked towards him this time directly in his face.
"I am referring to both of you, But I especially mean you Maki. You've been on a good streak lately, And I want you to act accordingly, Just because we are on vacation does not mean you are excused from behaving irresponsibly. So yes that does mean no drinking, no drugs, and no parties without my permission."
"Diana invites us here every year out of the kindness of her heart, And I do not want you to take that for granted. It is her house, You need to respect it. I do not want another repeat of last year when I found you passed out face down on the grass, outside of a house party. You've done good this year, you know better than to get messed up at a random house miles away from Diana's."
Maki scoffed turning his head up to the car roof.
"It was one mistake, And it was at Fumas, Not some rando's house. Also It's not like Euijoo wasn't there either, Or Jo and Nicholas for that matter."
"I didn't drink anything you ass." Euijoo playfully shoved his arm. Maki immediately attacking him back.
She sighed, her head resting on the palm of her hand.
"I am aware which is why I am also not just talking directly to you, but also Euijoo as well." She adjusted her focus back to Euijoo.
Euijoo turned exasperated crossing his arms in protest.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"It means you're almost 17 now, And I trust you but I also know you're a teenager and you're growing up and I know you can be susceptible to peer pressure, Or going along with something that others may try to convince you is fine and safe and I want you to be able to stay smart and act accordingly. Which is why I'm giving you a curfew as well as Maki."
"What?!" They yelled simultaneously.
"This is such bullshit." Maki squealed
"I don't get it, when have I ever given you a reason not to trust me? Everything I've ever done is always to meet your expectations."
Euijoo couldn't hide the look of offense immediately taking over his face.
"EJ, it is not that I don't trust you it is just that I want you to be safe, and make good choices. This is non negotiable if you'd rather just not be able to go out at all this summer then we can make that happen. Choice is up to you."
"If anything that would make this way easier for me to worry a lot less about you." Her voice easing with more frustration on each word.
Euijoo slumped in his seat shooting a heated glare at Maki before inevitably turning his back once again to the window.
Honestly he didn't even blame Maki for this. Not completely. He knew his mom was going to be more harsh on him especially after the amount of trouble Maki had gotten himself into last year, But damn it he just wanted to experience one summer to finally mess around before his junior year.
He'd spent the past 4 years of his adolescence adhering to his moms rules at all times, following anything she wanted him to bade by and he did it happily, But he just didn't want to be treated like a kid anymore. He wanted to be taken seriously.
They all sat in silence for the rest of drive to the house. Luckily the ride was less than 10 minutes long before they were pulling into the gated stone driveway, sparing Euijoo the awkwardness of having to spend more time in an occupied space with his mom.
The house had always looked the same, Of course they'd had mild renovations through out the years, maintaining the roofs fixture, or updating any old paint that started to peel along the siding, but the house at its core always remained the same and something about that really comforted Euijoo. He liked the comfort of knowing that a place he'd grown to feel so safe and welcomed in wouldn't change, and he could always rely on that familiar atmosphere around him.
Euijoo started tensing more and more the closer they approached the house, he'd never been this nervous before to come back to the house, but he couldn't shake the feeling of butterflies pooling around in his stomach. He tried his best to shake off the feeling and the heat that washed over his face as they parked onto the pavement.
He'd thought about all the possibilities and all the ways this summer could end up on the entire drive, the positives the negatives, But any confidence that he'd thought he'd acquired before from himself or even Harua, vanished in an instant the second the car came to a stop.
His mom and his brother got out first before Euijoo finally forced himself to push the door open before everybody started to look at him funny and question him. The first thing he saw coming out of the door in front of him was Jo running with the biggest grin on his face full speed towards Euijoo, his black bangs bouncing around his face as he ran.
"I missed you so much! It's so lonely here without you around." Jo threw Euijoo into a granduous hug nearly taking all puncturing all the air out of his lungs with how hard he grappled onto Euijoo's back.
Euijoo hugged him back tightly, a wide grin painting his lips.
"God I missed you too, You have no idea how happy I am to see you again. I hate going this long without talking to you."
Jo pulled away from him his smile not moving one bit away from his face.
"We've got the whole summer to catch up, I'm holding you to lots of makeup parties for the past few years you backed out on." Jo nudged him playfully.
"Just don't say that in front of my mom so loud, She has me on lock down this summer. Me and Maki both have curfews." Euijoo sighed in remembrance of the conversation that played out earlier.
"So have me and Nico for the past 4 years that never stopped us. You're coming out this year, You have to!"
Euijoo twitched a bit at the mention of Nicholas. He still hadn't seen him come out of the house, Maybe he wasn't planning to be around much this summer. Euijoo didn't know if he felt relieved or disappointing by that assumption.
Not before long, Diana appeared out from behind Jo rushing to greet Euijoo's mom. She looked just as elegant as she always had. So put together but also effortless, She always radiated a warm comforting presence to Euijoo and any sense of nervousness Euijoo had felt up to the point suddenly felt all the more bearable knowing that Diana was this close.
He turned over to go meet her in anticipation, Jo walking with him on his side. She separated from hug Euijoo's mom had shared with her the second she noticed Euijoo standing below her.
"Oh my goodness! Euijoo? You've grown! I can't believe it's already been a year since I saw you last. How have you been sweetie?"
His smile grew bigger as he hugged her, Her scented vanilla perfume consuming his nostrils, he felt so at home in this moment.
Euijoo chuckled as he pulled away from her.
"I'm doing okay! A lot has been happening this year I'm just so happy to see you again."
"We're all so excited to have you with us again this summer. I can't wait to hear all about your year, Please please come inside! I made drinks, Let's all catch up outside of the boiling heat, That drive must have been so exhausting!"
Diana begun ushering everyone inside the house, Maki conversing with Jo, while Diana and Euijoo's mom started retaliating inside.
Euijoo turned back to look at the car.
"Let me just grab my bag real quick! I'll meet you guys in there." Diana gave him a quick nod before disappearing into the house.
Euijoo moved to the trunk to retrieve his green duffle bag as he swung it over his shoulder, a small figure appeared from out behind the backyard approaching him slowly.
Nicholas stood before him locking eyes with Euijoo for a brief second, a look of surprise on his face when he noticed Euijoo's presence.
He looked different from last year. Euijoo could tell he got a little taller, Only slightly shorter now than Euijoo. his face matured more, but no facial hair, And his hair was different. Longer, cut into a messy blonde mullet, bangs side sweeping his face and covering his eyes slightly.
Euijoo felt his heart sink into the bottomless pit of his abdomen, heat welling up inside his skin. He hoped it didn't reflect on the outer layer of his face, and that Nicholas was far away enough from him not to notice how shaky and sensitive Euijoo started to get. Making eye contact with Nicholas was starting to drive him insane. He needed to walk away from this situation as soon as possible.
Nicholas just stayed with a sly smirk, dragging his eyes along to look Euijoo up and down, But it didn't feel like there was any heat in it, more like judgment or maybe he was a bit shocked to see any changes in Euijoo. His gaze felt like he was analyzing every part of him. He started to actually wonder in this moment if Nicholas actually could read every single thought processing through Euijoo's head right now.
Euijoo tried to ease the tension by giving out his best fake smile, & waving his hand at Nicholas politely.
Nicholas's facial expression changed immediately he went from looking like he was about to devour Euijoo whole, to being barely able to stare at Euijoo in the eye for much longer. A soft pink arousing his cheeks highlighting the small sunburn on his nose. Whatever persona Nicholas was carrying before felt like that faded in the mere distance, the tension finally easing in his eyes making his pupils look less dilated.
"So…" Euijoo finally decided to take the opportunity to talk.
"I haven't seen you since last summer, How have you been?"
"You're not wearing glasses anymore?" Nicholas dodged the question completely.
Euijoo stood a little frozen, He wasn't expecting that to be his first response.
"Um well I mean I still wear them sometimes, More so when I drive, But I just prefer to wear contacts more now."
"I liked your glasses."
Before Euijoo could respond Nicholas was already heading inside, leaving him with a sly smile curved on the inner corner of his lips.
Euijoo was only left with his thoughts, He stood mindlessly, his mind trying to process anything that just happened within the past few minutes of that whole interaction.
What the actual fuck was that.