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Dazai sneaks into his partner's apartment. He hasn't done this in four years; he wanted to relive the old times.
He easily picks the lock and sneaks inside.
Upon entering, he notices it's a mess, in a way Chuuya would never allow.
Broken bottles of liquor are scattered on the floor – the strangest thing is that they weren't wine bottles, but whiskey, which Chuuya detested. Clothes are strewn around the house, and a sink full of dishes that, judging by their appearance, looked like they'd been there for weeks.
Well, he'll save that for later; he needs to find Chuuya now.
He goes to Chuuya's room and sees him huddled on the floor, staring blankly into space, as if he weren't really there.
Dazai approaches and crouches down, brushing Chuuya's hair away from his face, trying to elicit some reaction.
Nothing.
Chuuya doesn't even move, barely blinks. As if he doesn't even notice Dazai's presence there. Dazai unfortunately realized what was happening.
A depressive episode.
Chuuya had possibly been like this for weeks; Dazai had even noticed that the redhead had been acting strangely lately. Not responding to his insults as he always did, Kouyou's worries about how Chuuya was piling up work lately and constantly pushing her and his other colleagues away.
Dazai should have done something sooner. But he thought it was just nonsense; Kouyou had always been very overprotective of Chuuya. But looking at his state now...
Well, now that he realized the mistake he made, he'll do everything he can to help his partner get out of this depressive episode.
It's strange to think of Chuuya depressed. He's always been the opposite. But he'll do everything he can to help.
"I'll take care of you, leave it to me. Partner." He runs his hand through the redhead's hair, who only shrinks back more. Well, at least that was some kind of reaction.
He noticed that Chuuya's hair was oily and dirty.
So, the first thing he would do was give him a bath. He easily picked Chuuya up, almost too easily, since he had never been able to lift Chuuya before.
He saved that for later; now the boy needed a bath. He placed Chuuya on the toilet seat; the boy was so tired he almost fell. But Dazai caught him.
He filled the bathtub with almost boiling water. - Chuuya always liked scalding hot baths, while Dazai hated very hot water. - Meanwhile, Chuuya still didn't react much, apart from some almost inaudible grumbles.
Now he would have to help Chuuya undress. It wasn't really anything new, since Dazai helped him wash after using corruption.
He helped him take off his shirt and then his sweatpants. He ended up noticing something quite worrying.
Chuuya's thigh was covered in cuts, some still bleeding, others not, and some scars, some old and some not so old.
Dazai was shocked. There were many, and they were deep. How hadn't he noticed before? He didn't know his partner's mental health was so deteriorated to this extent.
He felt terrible.
He knew he had been a horrible person to Chuuya, that he would never deserve Chuuya in his life. But it was Chuuya who helped him when no one else wanted to; Chuuya was there when he was going through his worst moment. He should have helped Chuuya.
He put that anguish aside for now; he needed to think about Chuuya now, not about what he could have done to help before.
He picked the boy up again and carefully placed him in the bathtub, trying not to scare him.
Chuuya only shuddered slightly, seeming a little more aware of what was happening around him. But he remained silent.
Dazai begins to wash Chuuya's hair carefully, gently massaging it.
"Chuuya should take better care of himself. People will think I don't take good care of my little puppy," he says while rinsing Chuuya's hair. He's trying to lighten the mood a bit, making things go back to how they were before. But Chuuya doesn't respond.
Dazai just sighs. After he finishes washing Chuuya, he leaves him in the bathtub and tries to leave the bathroom to get some clothes for the shorter man.
Chuuya grabs his arm.
"Oh. Chuuya doesn't want me to go? It's okay. I won't be long, but I still need to get your clothes." Chuuya looks at him for the first time in all this time. His blue eyes are dull and have deep dark circles under them.
He can't say no to Chuuya's lost look, but the water is already getting cold. He didn't want Chuuya to get sick.
"I'll go quickly and get a change of clothes for you. Meanwhile, can you dry yourself off?" he still looks like a lost puppy, but nods weakly.
He doesn't trust leaving Chuuya alone in the bathroom right now, especially at this moment. But there's not much he can do.
He quickly goes to the redhead's room, grabs a pair of shorts and the first shirt he finds.
He sees the bathroom door is closed. Dazai He looks strangely worried, but tries not to show it. He knocks once on the door, which opens immediately.
Chuuya has a towel wrapped around his waist, his wet hair dripping water onto his chest. It's a nice sight, but he saves that for later.
"Can you dress yourself?" Chuuya nods. Dazai doesn't seem to approve of the idea, but hands the clothes to the redhead and closes the door.
The door opens again, with Chuuya now properly dressed. He threatens to leave the bathroom. But Dazai speaks first.
"You're not going anywhere. I need to take care of your injuries first, stay here, I'll get the first aid kit." Chuuya simply accepts, without much desire to argue.
Dazai soon returns with the first aid kit. He crouches down in front of Chuuya and his injuries.
"They look deep... but I don't think they need stitches. Be a good little dog and behave, okay?" He gives Chuuya a small smile, who maintains a neutral expression.
He applies antiseptic and gently bandages his partner's thigh. Chuuya seems to be almost asleep in the process.
"All done, come on, I'll take you to your room." The redhead gets up to walk, but Dazai catches him before he can. He goes to the room and lays Chuuya on the bed and puts a blanket over him. Chuuya holds his hand tightly, as if he doesn't want him to leave.
He stays by Chuuya's side, stroking his hair until he falls asleep. When he realizes that the shorter man has fallen asleep holding his hand, he gives a weak smile.
Dazai removes his arm from Chuuya, who lets out a soft groan. Before leaving the room, he gives Chuuya a kiss on the forehead and turns off the light.
He decides to tidy up the redhead's house, which is in a deplorable state. He tidies the room, picking up the broken bottles and putting the scattered clothes in the washing machine.
He washes the enormous pile of dishes in the sink and organizes the kitchen, doing this with every room until everything is perfect.
Dazai never liked cleaning the house, and his own is a mess. But as he said, he'll do whatever he can to help Chuuya.
He's almost certain Chuuya hasn't eaten in days, so he decides to make a very thin soup, knowing that Chuuya probably wouldn't be able to eat anything too heavy for a while.
Dazai is now in front of the stove stirring the soup, humming softly. Until he hears Chuuya's bedroom door open.
Chuuya comes out of the room, a little dazed and even a bit confused. He probably thought Dazai had left.
"Hello Chuuya. I was just about to call you to eat! You came at the perfect time." He winks at the shorter man.
Chuuya simply walks over to him and basically leans against him, resting his head on his shoulder without saying a word.
"If Chuuya wanted me to hug him, he only had to ask. Who would I be to deny a hug to my little puppy?"
He drops the spoon he was holding and turns off the stove.
Then he places one hand on Chuuya's hair and the other on his waist, resting his face on the slightly damp red hair.
The shorter boy shudders, but soon snuggles closer to the dark-haired boy, wrapping his arms around him tightly as if he could disappear at any moment.
Dazai becomes somewhat worried. Chuuya is trembling a little and his breathing is labored.
"Hey, Chuuya? It's okay. I'm here with you, come on, talk to me."
Chuuya remains silent. Dazai understands how awful it is to talk in these moments, so he just continues to hold the little redhead tightly in his arms.
They stay like that for quite a while.
"Chuu...you need to eat before you get sick, come on, I'll serve your plate."
The shorter one looks at him and says.
" I don't want to eat now"
in a low, hoarse voice. The first time Chuuya has spoken since Dazai arrived.
"Ah, sorry, but I can't leave my little dog without food any longer, eat even if it's just a little bit."
Chuuya just frowns, leaving him with that usual irritated look again.
This makes Dazai give a slight smile; Chuuya is starting to show more reactions. That's good, but it doesn't mean he's okay.
Dazai gently releases his arms from the redhead, while Chuuya firmly holds Dazai's wrist.
Dazai serves Chuuya's plate with the shorter one basically glued to him. It's kind of strange; Chuuya was never clingy, the one who always initiated physical contact between them was always Dazai.
He leads Chuuya to the sofa and places his plate on the small table in front of them. Chuuya looks at the plate as if the food is personally offending him.
"My food didn't deserve this ugly face,"
Dazai feigns a sad face, trying to make Chuuya curse him for being dramatic as always.
But again, it doesn't work.
"It doesn't look bad... I just feel like I'm going to throw up if I eat anything right now."
Chuuya's voice, still hoarse, sounds so sad and tired.
"Just a little, about 10 spoonfuls. I promise, I won't force you to eat more than you need."
Chuuya looks at the plate, picks up the spoon with his trembling hands, weak from lack of nutrients.
Chuuya seems somewhat surprised when he puts the soup in his mouth; Dazai finally managed to get the food right this time.
"It's not so bad..."
Chuuya says, almost inaudibly, but Dazai hears him.
Dazai just smiles gently at Chuuya, who continues eating. They remain silent for a while, the only sound being the spoon tapping against the bowl.
After a while, he realizes that Chuuya doesn't want to eat anymore. At least he ate a little, that's what matters.
He takes the plate to the sink; he'll wash it later now. He's going to have a serious talk with Chuuya.
He returns to the sofa and finds Chuuya huddled in a corner.
"Chuuya. Could you tell me when this started?"
Chuuya seems hesitant to answer, but he knew he wouldn't be able to escape this, especially since it involved Dazai.
"A month ago? I'm not sure. It's nonsense, it happens sometimes, don't treat it like it's the end of the world."
He says, looking at the floor as if uncertain of his words.
"Chuuya, when I got here you didn't react. Your thigh is basically open, you almost needed stitches, and your bandage is already bleeding."
Chuuya looks down and it's true. The newly applied bandages are stained red again.
"Dazai... I don't want to talk about it now. Please, can we talk about something else?"
Dazai really wanted to insist until Chuuya spoke, but when he thought about saying something, Chuuya jumped up and ran to the bathroom.
Dazai followed him, and when he got to the bathroom he saw Chuuya crouched over the toilet vomiting.
The taller man went to the redhead, helping him hold back his hair.
"I'm sorry..."
"It's okay. It's not your fault, we'll try again tomorrow."
Chuuya stood up, leaning on Dazai, went to the sink and washed his face.
"Come on Chuu, let's lie down. I'll take care of you."
"Thank you." The two go to Chuuya's room again. Chuuya lies down and calls Dazai to lie down with him.
It's a little strange. Neither of them is used to so much closeness. Obviously, there have been times when they slept in the same bed during missions, but this is different.
"I didn't mean to drag you into this. I'm sorry."
Chuuya breaks the silence. Dazai blinks a few times as if he just misheard.
"First, Chuuya is apologizing a lot today. It's strange. And second, you didn't drag me to 'this,' I came on my own."
Chuuya falls silent again, staring intently at the lamp as if he wants to avoid any conversation.
"Look, Chuuya, I know you don't want to talk about it right now, and I won't force you. We can just sleep."
Chuuya seems more relieved and begins to lie down more comfortably on the bed, gently moving closer to Dazai, who opens his arms to cuddle Chuuya.
It doesn't take long for the two to be entangled in each other. Dazai's chin above Chuuya's head, their legs intertwined, and Chuuya's nose gently brushing against Dazai's neck.
The only sound in the room is Chuuya's soft breathing.
Dazai is still awake. Keeping an eye on Chuuya to see if anything happens, he's worried, and that's obvious.
Chuuya deserves the world. Dazai will do everything to make him realize that.
"Goodnight, partner. I'll take care of you for now."
He kisses Chuuya's forehead gently. He'll leave the rest to be dealt with tomorrow. Now it's just him and Chuuya hugging until they fall asleep.