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John Danganronpa Solves Crime

Summary:

John Danganronpa is the 17th student in Class #77-B. He's pretty peeved about the whole kidnapping thing, even if this tropical island does seem like a nice vacation spot. Since when can bunnies be magical girls?

And what the hell is a Monokuma? And what's this about a killing game? J.D. is going to get to the bottom of it.

 

My take on what the first trial of 2x2 will look like. Or, it was supposed to be, but it devolved into crack. That means the blackened and victim will be different from the og Game. Enjoy.

Notes:

This was fun to write but idk if I'll continue. If I do, it'll only cover the first trial. I have ideas.

I'm changing things because I can. Don't tell me I got something wrong in the comments. It's intentional.

I'll only briefly outline some of the events of the prologue. You guys have played the game. I'm not going to bury you under exposition.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Hope’s Peak Academy was a government-funded school for the elites of society— only the best of the best attended the school, the brightest of their generation and the world’s future leaders. If you went to Hope’s Peak, you were set for life.

Or so they tell me. According to my research, it really was a good school. But what kind of [redacted] would I be if I didn’t do some on the ground research myself?

The academy loomed above me, imposing and intriguing. I couldn’t wait to root out all its secrets. I tucked my pen behind my ear and adjusted my scarf before walking up to the doors. No one else was around— had I arrived late? 

I glanced at the sky. It was around noon, I assumed, based on the position of the sun. My watch was still set to EDT— I really should’ve adjusted it as soon as I landed, but my nerves were on fire. 

It’d be a long time since I’d stepped foot in Japan. Was my Japanese rusty? I’d spoken it at home often enough that I should sound native— which I was— but these were Ultimates I’d be around. My accent might sound…off, after so much time overseas. 

I held my chin up high. I would not let anyone cow me into feeling inferior. 

The door opened easily, yet my feet still stumbled over the entrance. I took in the main entrance distantly; my vision began to blur. 

Huh…?

Everything felt heavy. I slipped into the darkness without much of a fight. 

 

 

I woke up slowly. My head hurt; a pounding headache that left me gasping for air. Darkness surrounded me. Had something happened to my eyes, or was the room just dark? 

I stumbled forward, begging my wobbly legs to comply. A door appeared out of the darkness. Usually I’d be more cautious in a situation like this, but the headache did not allow me to think straight. I pushed my way through the door and into—

A classroom? 

Several heads turned in my direction. 

“That makes sixteen,” a fat boy with blond hair said. He pushed his glasses up his chubby face and appraised me with calculating blue eyes. I blinked under the sudden scrutiny. A girl, tan and well-muscled, snorted. 

“What’s with the outfit? It rainin’ or something?” 

“Uh…” I wanted to say it’s not a raincoat, actually…but another girl cut me off.

“Raincoats are totally in fashion over there! All the hot chicks are wearing them, duh!” This was said by a girl with horns. She reminded me of a rockstar with her piercings and colorful hair. 

“It’s…not a raincoat,” I said finally. No one was paying much attention to me, however, so my correction went unacknowledged. What was going on? I felt dazed. The headache was abating, but I could not remember how I’d gotten to this room from the school’s entrance. 

Wait, chick? Maybe my mom was right— braiding my hair makes me look a bit like a girl. I didn’t mind, though. I subconsciously ran a hand through my hair— 

My pen was missing! 

It wasn’t on the floor…or in my pockets…I tried to walk back out the door, but it was locked. That distracted me sufficiently— I needed to tell the others, whoever they were. 

But again, I was talked over before I could finish the word hey. 

“Over where?” 

“You know…over there! Look at her—” 

“Him,” I corrected. The focus was once again on me. I used this to point out our current predicament. “This door is locked.” I hadn’t moved from my spot by it and no one else was close enough to lock it without my noticing, so there were only two possibilities: someone had locked us in from the outside, or the door could only be opened from one side.

The third option was, obviously, that it had jammed, but based on pressure behind the knob, I thought it was unlikely. 

“What? No it’s not, you just came through it! We all did!” A pink-haired boy exclaimed. His teeth were razor sharp like they’d been filed. What was he, the Ultimate Cannibal?

I wished I had my pen so I could start writing these details down. My notebook sat in my coat pocket, waiting to be used. Without my pen, I felt naked and useless. I tugged at my scarf. 

The blond boy pushed past me and shook the door knob. No budge. A startled scream erupted through the room— the Ultimate Cannibal looked close to fainting. 

“We’re locked in?” He yelled, eyes bugging out wildly. I frowned. “Nooooo!” 

“How devious…! What dark forces are working against us?”

“Locked in…? Hm…”

“W-what do you mean? It wasn’t l-locked when we came in.”

“No shit, tits for brains! Why don’t you shut the fuck up?” Why was a twelve-year-old in the room? My younger siblings had never spoken such foul words before. 

“Calm down! I am sure it is all fine. The door is likely stuck! Move aside, I shall kick it down.” The girl that stepped forward clearly wasn’t Japanese, with her pale skin and blue eyes, though her accent was flawless— even if her words were a bit awkward and formal. 

She did, indeed, try to kick the door down.

“Oh!” She fell back at the force of her kick (why hadn’t she taken her heels off first?) as the door refused to give way. I caught her arm and steadied her. 

“Thank you, good sir!” 

“Wait, sir? Isn’t that a chick?” The tan girl asked from where she was sitting cross-legged on one of the desks. 

“Oh, do forgive me! Thank you, my fair lady! A thousand blessings to you and your kin!” 

“I’m—”

“Move aside! I got it!” The tan girl copied the foreigner’s move and attacked the door. She screamed in frustration when the result was the same too. A big guy who was definitely not a High Schooler approached next.

“Stop!” I yelled. Everyone froze, whether out of surprise or compliance I couldn’t tell. “Can someone explain what’s going on? I don’t…I was at Hope’s Peak—”

“Well, duh! This is Hope’s Peak. We’re your classmates. I’m Akane Owari— who the hell are you? Why haven’t you introduced yourself yet?!” She glared at me. As if they’d stopped talking long enough for me to get a word out…

“I’m John,” I said. “John Danganronpa. My friends call me J.D.”

“It’s nice to meet you, J.D. I agree that we all need to calm down and talk before we decide anything. I’m Chiaki Nanami, by the way,” said a cute girl with pale pink eyes. She pulled her jacket hood over her face. “All this shouting is making me sleepy…”

Shouting is making you sleepy? Shouldn't it be the opposite? 

“Right! We shouldn’t give in to panic! We’re Ultimates, after all, even if I’m just a pathetic—”

“Would you shut the hell up already?” That was Akane. 

“No, Nagito’s right,” Chiaki said. “None of us remember how we got to this classroom. We all passed out at some point…it’s the same for you, isn’t it, J.D.?” 

I nodded. “Yes, I fainted as soon as I stepped into Hope’s Peak…that happened to everyone else too?” 

These must be his classmates, then— they all looked about the right age. But how odd, for them all to faint…was there a gas leak? Or something more nefarious?

Most of them didn’t seem all that worried. Why not? 

A few more people introduced themselves to me. The horn girl was Ibuki, the blond boy Byakuya, the cannibal was named Kazuichi. Nagito, Teruteru (who immediately outed himself as a pervert by trying to feel up Akane’s boobs), Peering Peko, Little Fuyuhiko…giving them epithets helped me remember their names. Petulant Hiyoko, Mousy Mikan. Chiaki didn’t need a nickname, she was memorable enough. Sonia, too, I’d hardly forget after the scene she’d caused. There were fifteen others overall. 

The door opened behind me. Sixteen, then. Seventeen total, if you counted me. Before any of us could shout, keep it open! the boy who’d entered had already let it fall shut. A few annoyed groans rippled through the room. The boy was rather plain, with flat eyes and brown hair. His skin was lightly tanned. I wondered how often he’d been stopped by the police on the street because he fit a suspect’s description. He was so non-descript I wouldn’t be able to pick him out of a line-up of one. 

We went through the whole song and dance again. His name was
Hajime. 

“What’s your Ultimate?” Ibuki asked him, bright-eyed and curious. Hajime faltered while I wondered why no one had asked me that question.

“Uh—” 

A bunny interrupted us. An actual bunny. I stared vacantly at it as it went on a boring, long tangent about getting along and how they’d have so much fun on their school trip. It introduced itself as Magical Girl Usami.

What the fuck is that thing? I wasn’t one for cursing, but the situation called for it, I felt. 

The others had similar reactions, staring at the bunny in disbelief. That disbelief intensified when the walls of the classroom fell away to reveal a beach.

What? 

What?

 

 

We settled down after much confusion. Usami worked for Hope’s Peak, and this was a surprise school trip. Okay. That made no sense, but okay. I’d accept it for now until I’d gathered more information. 

The group split up to explore the island. I located a pen at Rocketpunch Market, a cheap soulless pen that could not compare with the one I’d formerly owned. Earlier, I’d asked Usami if she’d seen it, but, of course, as useless as she was, she hadn’t. I’d told her she was worthless to her face and she’d begun crying. 

Ibuki regaled me with a story from her band days as I shopped at the market. That girl had issues. Major ones. I liked her, though, and she asked me to braid her hair for some reason. It’s what girls do with each other! Like scissoring! I reminded her I wasn’t a girl, but she didn’t seem to hear me. Maybe there was something wrong with her brain. 

Gundam and Kazuichi were at the airport. The former introduced me to his hamsters— how cute— and the latter I ignored. His face annoyed me deeply. Mikan, Nagito, and Hiyoko were at Usami’s Corral— a farm that had no right to be on an island in the middle of…wherever they were. Seriously, had they flown the cow here? Why?

Nagito seemed nice enough— certainly nicer than the little girl berating Mikan, checking out the farm, huh? I bet you feel right at home with all these pigs, haha— but I declined his offer to explore together. Something about him bothered me. 

Call it [redacted]’s intuition. 

Next I visited the hotel. I found my room easily enough— a nice cabin with an attached bathroom. I appreciated the privacy; I had little of it growing up with fifteen younger siblings. 

Chiaki was playing games in the hotel lobby. 

“Oh, hi, John.” 

“Hey, Chiaki.” I don’t know why, but I liked this girl immensely. Not in that way— obviously. But she seemed intriguing. And her hair clip was cute. I liked cute things, it was why I’d raised three bunnies, two poodles, and thirteen guinea pigs in my youth. I also helped my siblings herd sheep, on occasion. 

“They don’t have many games here…I’m disappointed. I wish Usami had let us keep our things…”

Besides my pen, I hadn’t even wondered where my luggage was. All I had were the clothes on my back and whatever had been in my pockets. Jeez, my parents must be worried about me. Jane, too, and Jane 2, and Johnny, and—

“Maybe there’ll be some on the other islands.”

She shrugged. I let her go back to her game and ventured upstairs. A nice dining area waited for me. 

“Oh, John…”

“I told you, call me J.D.” Hajime had entered from the second door. That must be what the steps outside lead up to. Nagito trailed behind him. 

“J.D.! Have you explored everywhere yet?” Nagito asked. His eyes closed with how wide he smiled. The hairs on the back of my neck rose. 

“Almost. Have you found anything interesting?” I grabbed my pen from behind my ear and slipped my notebook out of my pocket. Hajime hesitated. 

“Tell me,” I continued. 

“Nothing weird. I just thought the monitors and cameras were a bit odd. This whole place feels…off, doesn’t it?” 

I could hardly disagree. It’d been exactly what I was thinking. 

“Yes,” I said. “Very off. The other islands being blocked off is worrying. Monomi doesn't seem dangerous, though. If she gets out of line, Akane is willing to eat her. After Teruteru fries her up, of course.” Akane wasn’t animal enough to eat a rabbit raw, after all. Hajime gave me a wide-eyed look. Nagito stared at me with concern. 

“...right. Okay, bye.” Hajime turned and left without even exploring the dining area. Nagito lingered for a moment longer before smiling and leaving. I searched for anything weird, but it seemed like a normal restaurant. 

I stole some cheese cubes from the kitchen and continued on my way.

 

 

We reconvened on the beach sometime later. After detailing everything we saw, someone suggested swimming. I always wore a bathing suit beneath my clothes in case I needed to chase someone through the sewers, so I stripped behind a tree and was the first in the water. Usami seemed scandalized. 

Teruteru, of course, was very pleased. I ignored him. The others— most of them, anyway— joined me. Mikan slipped in the water and crashed right into Mahiru, who fell with her, laughing, into the water. The former fell in a rather compromising pose, I turned my face to heavens out of respect. 

Teruteru tried to touch Mikan, so I kicked him further into the water like a beachball.

“Gaaahhh!” 

After a few minutes of lighthearted fun, the sky suddenly turned dark and stormy. 

Hm. 

I shook myself off and put my clothes back on quickly. I didn’t want to miss anything. 

I put my pen between my teeth and waited.

The details of what happened next were difficult to describe. To keep it short, a black-and-white bear kicked the magical girl out of Usami and turned her into Monomi. I didn’t particularly care what the thing was called, but seeing Monomi get beat up by another plushie was an interesting sight that brought out a slight feeling of pity in me for the thing…rabbit…whatever it was. Monomi was like no bunny rabbit I’d ever seen. 

“Wah! Mean big brother!”

“Shut up!” Monomi went sailing off into the sky with one punch.

“Welcome to your killing school life! Phuhuhu! Let the game begin!” 

…this is so not what I signed up for. 

 

 

It took a while for everyone to calm down. I stayed off to the side, taking in information and scribbling in my notebook. Monobeasts…Monokuma…lost memories? 

Had I really attended Hope’s Peak with everyone here? It didn’t feel real. None of this did. 

“N-no, I don’t believe it…”

“Stop whining, you whore-slut!”

“W-whore-slut?”

“Don’t worry, no one here will die. I will keep you all safe, I swear on the Togami name.”

“...all of this exposition is making me sleepy. Can we do a time skip yet?”

“There’s…no way…this isn’t happening…”

“Ahaha! As if a puny mortal can kill me! I am Gundam—” 

“Whatever, I’m hungry. Can we eat yet? I can’t think on an empty stomach.” 

Ibuki had stopped foaming at the mouth and Peko was silent as ever. Fuyuhiko was mumbling curses under his breath. 

“Let’s comply for now,” I said. “We can discuss this more in the morning.” 

“Great idea,” Chiaki replied with a yawn. “Our cabins are on the first island, right? Let’s go.” 

We all walked together to the hotel. No one wanted to be alone at the moment. Chiaki and Hajime trailed behind me in the back while Ibuki and Mahiru led the line. The rest fell somewhere in between. The mood was so somber that Hiyoko had stopped calling Mikan names like titty nurse and cheap fanservice, whatever that meant. 

I slowed so I’d be walking next to Chiaki and Hajime. 

“What do you two think of all this?” I whispered. Chiaki gave me a vacant stare. Hajime put a hand on his chin in contemplation. 

“I don’t know. I can’t really believe this is happening, even with the Monobeasts and the fact that we’ve obviously been kidnapped…Chiaki?”

She yawned. “I dunno. Seems legit. I think we should be careful.” Her expression suddenly turned deadly serious. “This isn’t a game, whatever Monokuma says. It’s real life. There’s no reset button or save points…if someone dies, it’s game over for them.”

With those ominous words, the first day of our school trip came to an end.