Chapter Text
Tommy sat on top of his tower. The sun was finally setting. There was a breeze, rippling through his overgrown matted hair. The dirt he sat upon dirtied his clothes even more, not like you’d be able to tell with how dirty his clothes already were though. His thoughts raced as he sighed, he had thought about doing this for months now. Living with HIM- had left him scarred in more ways than he knew he could possibly be. But it would all be over soon..
Even though he had thought about this for months, it all felt real now. His life was truly going to end. Everything he had done has led up to this, all of the people he fought for had left his bleeding, a small part of him wanted revenge, to fake his death and run away.
Maybe he would have done that in another universe, but he had made up his mind in this one. He was ending it all tonight.
Looking down, Tommy’s hands tightly held pictures of Tubbo. Pictures from better times, back before they were so traumatized… back before they were forced to grow up. Creases formed as he gripped them even tighter, Tubbos smile creasing down, as if the picture knew what Tommy was about to do and disproved of it. “Traitor” Tommy thought bitterly. It was Tubbos fault that he was stuck in exile, dirty, starving, angry, hurting. “But could you really blame him for what he did” Tommy’s mind thought, dark thoughts forming. Something he has become very used to in exile.
The wind blew even harder, blowing the unstable first tower slightly. It startled Tommy out of his thoughts and back into the present. He blinked tears that he didn’t even know had formed (from the dirt totally) out of his eyes as he stood up.
His body wobbled as he tried to find balance. He had never been afraid of heights, nor as an avian after all but if he was going to kill himself then he was going to do it with dignity. Not by tripping off of his first tower, now that’d just be embarrassing.
He swallowed hard as his shaking hands still tightly holding the pictures of Tubbo, spread outwards, his arms catching the wind as he gained balance. He was far above the clouds, he was just high enough to see most of the island he was on. The cruel place he called “home” or what was left of it after.. HE.. destroyed everything with tnt.
Tommy’s eyes flickered back to his hands, looking at the pictures of Tubbo one last time, as memories trying to will their way into his mind. He squeezed his eyes closed, blocking the trauma out, before pocketing the photos. He left the photo of him and Tubbo together with the letter he left on the beach, for if anybody other than HIM, bound his dead rotting body. Broken in more ways than it already was, where it was always meant to be.
He slowly opened his eyes, the last few slivers of light shining through the clouds, creating a halo of light. He let his wings uncurl from his back, hissing in pain as the unused limbs stretched out. He breathed in and out. Everything in his life had led to this, his thoughts raced as the last of the light disappeared.
He knew he was ready, he didn’t truly want to die. Not really. But there was no other option, he needed to leave, if he couldn’t be free by living then he would be free by being dead. His nails curled into his palms, “I wonder if I’ll see Wilbur and MD when I’m dead..” Tommy thought bitterly, unsure if it would be a good thing to see his dead brother or not. Probably the latter but it was fine.
For everybody else he had left a letter. He hoped they would receive it.
It was fully dark out now, the moon stood high in the sky, stars all around him. In another life he would have loved to be a star, up in the sky just watching as the world goes by. “ Peaceful..” he thought, his heart finally calming, as the waves below him crashed into shore, creating a peaceful ambiance. The cool air once biting to him while he tried to sleep on the beach, felt nice in his wings from up on the tower.
As broken feathers scattered into the wind, Tommy closed his eyes for the last time and jumped.