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Flowery couldn't quite believe what he was seeing on the polished wooden floorboards of the castle.
He'd been walking through one of the corridors when he had to pause due to a rather violent fit of coughing. It felt like there was something — well, more like lots of little somethings — caught in his throat. With one particularly big cough, the obstruction came free.
He looked down at what he'd coughed up. Five small, raindrop-shaped things, exactly the same shade of gold as him. He bent down to pick them up.
Are those… flower petals?
As much as he tried to imitate being a human, Flowery knew that he was still a plant on the inside. Beneath the human skin and hair, he was made of petals and stems and nectar.
Did I just cough up part of my insides?
He tried to dismiss the thought almost as soon as it popped into his head. No, surely not. He was probably growing extra petals, or something like that. Was that even possible?
Suddenly, a bright blue blur zoomed down the corridor, before coming to a stop next to him.
"Hi Flowery!" said Aqua. She was holding a pair of glasses. "I'm playing the chasing game, do you want to join me?"
"AQUA!" Seth's voice yelled in the distance. "Give me my glasses back!"
"Uuu, you have to catch me first!" Aqua ran off before giving Flowery a chance to reply.
Flowery sighed internally. It seems like he'd have to play the chasing game for now.
*
"So what's on your mind, oldbuddy?" Flowery took a sip of his FlowerySoda. "You can tell me anything. I'm your best friend, after all."
Recently, Flowery had been insisting that Asgore take a break from his research each day to hang out with him in the diner. Just the two of them sharing lighthearted conversation over their favourite drinks. What could be more human?
Asgore sighed and absentmindedly stirred his tea for the millionth time. He had yet to actually drink it. The cup had stopped steaming a while ago.
"I'm going nowhere fast. I thought I was close to having it all figured out, but then I found some new information which completely contradicted my theory." He shook his head. "Now I'm pretty much back where I started."
"I'm sorry to hear that. Do you want to talk about it some more?" Flowery flashed him what he thought was his best WinningSmile.
"No thank you, Flowery." Asgore stood up and began to walk away from the booth. "I really should get going anyways."
"Wait!" exclaimed Flowery, also standing up. A bit too fast, it seemed, because he was overcome by a sudden bout of coughing. Feeling a tickle in his throat and realising what was about to come up, he turned away from Asgore.
"Are you alright?" Asgore said, frowning.
Once he'd finished coughing, Flowery tore his gaze away from the golden petals covering the fake leather of the booth seat.
"I'm peachy keen, Gorey! But are you alright? You seem tired. No need to leaf so soon, come back and have a chat with me!"
"I appreciate the offer, but my work cannot wait." With that, Asgore turned and walked out of the diner.
If Flowery had a heart, it would've hurt. It would've felt like a stake had been driven through it over and over until it had broken into a million pieces. But flowers don't have hearts. So he felt no pain. He was fine.
He sat back down and finally looked at the petals. They'd doubled in number compared to the first time. They also seemed bigger. But he couldn't be sure. Maybe it was just his imagination.
Flowery didn't know how long he stayed sitting in the diner booth, staring at Asgore's untouched cup of tea across from him. All he knew is that he was only snapped out of his thoughts by a gentle hand on his shoulder.
He looked up to see Green holding a sign. "Are you okay?"
"I'm alright, Green. I've probably overstayed my welcome, haven't I? I should free up this table for all the other customers." There was no one else in the diner but the two of them.
Before Green could notice, Flowery quickly grabbed all the petals next to him and shoved them into his waistcoat pocket. When he looked back up at Green, they were holding a new sign.
"I saw what happened with Asgore. I'm sorry."
"Oh, that, haha! No need to worry about it. I'm sure one day he'll realise that quality time with his best friend is more important than his work."
"I'm here if you need someone to talk to, or even just a hug."
"How generous of you! But I promise I’m okay." Before Green could respond, he got up and left the diner.
It wasn't until later that he realised he'd dismissed Green as easily as Asgore had dismissed him. This did not make his heart hurt more. Flowers don't have hearts.
*
"Ha! Take that!" cried Orange, landing a punch on Flowery.
Orange's attacks never really hurt him, but he'd always react anyway, just to humour her. He grabbed his leg and groaned in faux pain.
"Ooh, you got me good," he said. "Your new attacks are so powerful!"
"But that's not all!" She quickly ran over, grabbed a chair, and climbed on top of it, now able to actually reach the rest of Flowery's body. "Try to dodge this!"
She let out a flurry of punches, which Flowery dodged several times before letting one hit him in the stomach. Again, he pretended to double over in pain, but the bout of coughing that followed was very real.
"Big bro!" Orange exclaimed, after the coughing continued for a while. "Are you alright? I didn't really hurt you, did I?!" She sounded close to tears.
Flowery shook his head, covering his mouth with his hand to hide the petals he knew he was about to throw up. However, while he managed to cough most of the petals into his hand, a few escaped and fluttered into the air, much to Orange's shock.
"H-hey! Did you just cough out petals?"
"No, of course not!" said Flowery, quickly clenching the hand holding the petals into a fist and hiding it behind his back. "Now, why don't you show me more of your attacks? I'd love to see them."
"You're… you're hiding something from me!" exclaimed Orange. "You were the one who told me not to hide things from others! And that opening up to people is one of the bravest things you can do!"
Flowery hesitated. He didn't want to worry his baby sister, but she'd already realised something was up, and she'd probably be more distressed if he didn't tell her what was wrong. Making up his mind, Flowery moved his hand from behind his back and slowly opened his fist to show Orange the petals he was holding. He almost regretted it as her eyes began to fill with tears.
"You… you coughed all of those up?"
There were so many petals. A lot more than last time.
"And there's nectar too!"
Flowery hadn't noticed that until Orange pointed it out. He was coughing up nectar as well? That wasn't a good sign.
"I'm sure it's nothing," said Flowery.
"But you just coughed up nectar!" said Orange. "What if you're really hurt? I didn't mean to hit you that hard!"
Before she could start crying, Flowery gently petted her on her head. "I promise it's not because you hit me."
"How do you know that?!"
"Because this isn't the first time this has happened—"
"What?!?! So you were already hurt! And you didn't even say anything!"
Flowery wished he could take back his words.
"Orange, please don't worry about me. We don't even know if I'm hurt or not."
"But you could be! I can go and get Green! They can make some food to heal you!"
"No, no, no!" said Flowery, too quickly. "Green doesn't need to know."
"So you're just not gonna tell anyone?" Orange pouted. "You weren't even gonna tell me."
She looked so hurt and downtrodden that Flowery decided to relent. "Look, I could go speak to Seth. They know a lot of things, so I'm sure they would know what's happening."
"Do you promise you'll talk to them?"
"I promise. Now, let's take a break from sparring for today."
*
As predicted, as soon as Flowery told Seth about his symptoms, their eyes lit up and they ran off to who knows where. They returned less than a minute later with a book in their hands.
"I've heard about this before," Seth said, out of breath. "It's called Hanahaki." They quickly flipped through the book until they found the page they were looking for. "Hanahaki is a disease caused by unrequited love, marked by the growth of flowers in the throat and lungs. The victim will throw up flower petals and blood — losing blood is the human equivalent of us losing nectar, by the way — progressing to full flowers as the disease worsens, eventually killing the victim as the flowers fill their respiratory system."
There was a beat of silence.
"Oh," said Flowery. "Well, that's unfortunate!"
"How are you so calm about this?!" Seth exclaimed. "You're— you're literally dying!"
"But surely there's a cure, right?"
"Yes, there is, but—" Seth turned to the next page. "The disease goes away if the person of your affections returns your feelings. But that doesn't usually happen. Do you think the person you're in love with has a chance of loving you back?"
"Maybe. We've been good friends for a while, but I don't want to force them to do anything, of course. Perhaps if I just gave them enough time—"
"It's Asgore, isn't it?"
"...Yes."
"Right. The other option is to surgically remove the flowers, but if you do that, you'll lose the ability to ever love Asgore again."
"Well, I'm not quite sure I want that. I wouldn't give up my love for Asgore for anything."
"Yeah, that's what I expected. Most people don't want to have the surgery. The thing is, though, everything I know about Hanahaki has to do with the disease in humans. I've never even heard of it happening with flowers before. I mean, flowers throwing up flowers? How does that work? That's like… if humans started throwing up smaller humans, or something." Seth made a face of disgust at the thought. "And flowers don't have respiratory systems like humans do, so… maybe the disease won't be fatal for you, then?"
Flowery shrugged. "Why don't we just wait and see what happens?"
Seth still seemed worried. "But we can't be entirely sure that nothing bad will happen to you."
"Seth, I appreciate your concern, but I'll be—" Flowery was cut off by a sudden coughing fit. Seth watched as Flowery coughed up a flurry of golden petals, which flew around in the air for a bit before slowly fluttering to the ground.
When the coughing subsided, Seth took a step closer to the petals, kneeling down to examine them. Flowery did the same. There were a lot more than last time, and there was more nectar too.
"You're coughing up a lot of nectar… that's not good."
Flowery smiled, praying that it looked genuine. "As I was saying, I'll be alright."
Seth ignored him. They carefully picked up the petal covered in the least amount of nectar, touching as little of it as they possibly could.
"Look," they said, holding it next to Flowery's hand. "The petals are the exact same colour as you."
"Huh, would you look at that!" said Flowery, acting surprised.
"Flowery, are those petals… are you…" Their eyes were wide open in fear.
"I'm throwing up my flesh!" he exclaimed, too cheerfully.
Seth just stared at him in utter shock and disbelief.
"How can you be so nonchalant about this?!"
What else am I supposed to do? Curl up into a ball and cry? As much as I want to do that, it's not gonna make anyone feel better. But he said nothing out loud.
"Look, I just…" Seth ran their hand down their face in frustration. "Okay. Even if we did go with the surgery, it probably wouldn't work. Because if you're shedding your… insides… removing more isn't gonna help. I'll do as much research on this as I possibly can. Maybe I can find another way."
"Seth, it's fine. I got what I needed to know."
"Hey, none of that! You do everything for us. Why won't you let someone do something for you for once?"
Flowery didn't respond, so Seth continued.
"If I learn anything that could be helpful, I'll let you know as soon as possible."
"...Could I ask you one more favour?"
"Sure, what?"
"Please don't tell anyone else what's happening to me."
Seth looked like they were about to protest, but ended up saying, "Okay. I… I won't tell anyone. But you have to tell me if it gets worse."
"I will."
Flowery waited until Seth had turned around the corner before coughing up the large thing in his throat that he'd been holding back, so as not to worry them more. He stared at it for several minutes. Instead of just petals, it was a whole bloom, glistening with droplets of nectar like morning dew.
*
"...and then she said, 'It's not like I like you or anything!', but she was blushing from ears to tail, so I think she really does like me, mew! Hey, are you even listening?"
Flowery usually enjoyed hanging out with Pink, chatting about everything and nothing. She'd been talking about the ghost from the Light World that possessed her body sometimes, but Flowery hadn't really been paying attention. It was hard to listen when you were trying your best to not throw up flowers everywhere.
"You were saying something about the ghost," he said.
Pink rolled her eyes at him, but she was still smiling. "Oh, it feels so wonderful to be in love! I can't wait until she and I can finally date, mew!"
"Heh. I'm… really happy for you."
"You don't sound that happy."
Before Flowery could say anything, he began coughing violently. Damn it, why now? Pink let out a squeak of surprise. He tried to keep it down, but despite his efforts, he coughed up two golden flowers, a lot of petals, and a puddle of nectar.
"Flowery! You have Hanahaki?!" Pink cried, voice filled with concern.
"How do you know what that is?"
"I've read about it in manga before, so I know all about it! Who are you in love with?"
Flowery knew that when it came to romance, there was no way to get Pink to shut up about it. If he didn't tell her, she would pester him about it forever.
"Asgore."
"Oh, of course! Who else would it be? Have you tried asking him out? You two could go on such cute dates together! Like fishing, or watching the sunset, or—"
"Pink," Flowery interrupted. "He doesn't love me back. If he did, I wouldn't be experiencing this." He gestured to the nectar-soaked flowers and petals on the floor.
"But you haven't tried, have you? You're giving up on love before it's even started! The worst he can say is no!"
A sudden onslaught of memories flashed through Flowery's mind. Asgore rejecting the bouquet that he'd spent ages making, hand-picking each flower from the Garden of Hopes and Dreams. Asgore throwing away the fished-up pies when he thought Flowery wasn't looking. Asgore talking about Toriel and Rudy with a sense of longing in his voice that was never heard when he talked about anyone else. Asgore walking out of the diner and leaving a cold cup of tea behind. He never said outright that he didn't want to be around Flowery, but his actions hurt more than any words ever could.
"I don't need to try. I already know."
"But you'll at least get the surgery, right?"
Flowery didn't want to tell her that the flowers he was coughing up were most likely parts of his insides, and that the surgery would probably make it worse. So he simply shook his head.
"B-but… that means you'll suffocate on the flowers a-and… you'll die! And I don't want you to die!"
Flowery was about to say something when Pink's eyes lit up. "Oh! But Hanahaki is different in every story. Some of them have other cures!"
"This isn't a story, Pink. Besides, flowers can't suffocate. I'll be right as rain."
This seemed to put her at ease. Again, he didn't mention that the main complication was him losing his insides. Pink looked more closely at one of the flowers he'd coughed up.
"You know, in some manga, people with Hanahaki throw up the favourite flowers of the person they're in love with. And this flower looks like you! Does this mean you're Asgore's favourite flower?"
If only that was really what it meant. If only he was truly Asgore's favourite.
*
Asgore always made sure his flowers had nothing but the best care and attention. He watered them at the exact same time with the exact same amount of water every day, filled their pots with premium soil that he probably couldn't afford but bought anyway, and positioned them to receive optimal sunlight, using special lights for when the sun wasn’t shining.
So it was a mystery to him as to why his golden flower seemed to be dying.
It started with small holes in the petals, as if caterpillars had taken bites out of them. Asgore had painstakingly checked the plant, but there were no signs of any bugs. Then came the bits of petals falling off, also small at first, but slowly progressing to larger pieces.
In his spare time, Asgore had gone to the library to do research on what could be happening, but no matter what he tried, it didn't work. Surely this was due to some kind of disease, but he had no idea what it was. And the flower only grew sicker and sicker.
Today, when Asgore woke up, the first thing he did was check on his flowers as usual. The golden flower was in a sorry state. Big chunks of its petals were missing, and it was drooping as if it hadn't been watered enough, despite Asgore making sure it always received the proper amount of water.
"I'm so sorry, little one," he said out loud to the flower. "I have tried everything to help you. I don't know what else I can do for you." He gently placed a hand against the side of the glass case that the flower was stored in, as if cupping someone's face. A piece of petal fell from the flower and into the soil below it.
Somewhere in another world, a flower coughed up golden petals and blossoms coated in nectar, and felt something inside him shatter.
*
"Now, just follow my lead. One-two-three, one-two-three… you're doing an incredible job, Yellow dear."
Flowery had been watching Blue perform, as was common for the two of them, but at some point Yellow had showed up and at another point Blue had started teaching him a dance and now Flowery was watching the two lovebirds. It was all mostly a blur in his mind.
He didn't consider himself to be a hateful person, but as he watched Blue and Yellow dance together, he felt something close to hate twisting inside him. But hate wasn't really the right word. Envy? Jealousy? Flowery knew it was childish, but seeing them together felt so unfair. Why was it that some people could see each other and both fall in love and be happy for the rest of their lives, while others were forced to watch from a distance and feel their non-existent hearts break? Some people got to have partners who understood and supported them and gave them all the love they wanted, while others had to grovel to be shown some semblance of love like a dog begging for scraps.
He wasn't in love with either Blue or Yellow, he knew that. But as he watched Blue move about gracefully onstage, with Yellow following him less gracefully, for a fleeting moment he imagined it was him and Asgore, and the coil of jealousy tightened painfully.
No, snap out of it. You should be happy for them. They're your friends. Why aren't you happy?
At that moment, Flowery became aware of a familiar fullness at the back of his throat, and he began coughing loudly, catching the attention of Blue and Yellow.
"Flowery! Are you alright, dear?"
Blue ran off the stage, closely followed by Yellow. Flowery tried to nod, but it wasn't very convincing, as he became unable to cough and could only make weird choking noises. While he couldn't technically choke, since he didn't need to breathe, having something blocking his throat wasn't a pleasant feeling.
Luckily, Blue seemed to know what to do, using the heel of his hand to strike between Flowery's shoulder blades. After he did this a few times, Flowery was able to cough up several golden flowers and a whirlwind of petals. There were even a few stems mixed in. Each one was covered in nectar. He looked up at Blue and Yellow, who had matching expressions of horror.
"Oh my goodness," said Blue, at a rare loss for words. "Are… are you hurt?"
"If someone hurt ya, we gotta make sure this criminell faces their justice!" said Yellow.
"No one hurt me," said Flowery, his voice raspy-sounding. "I'm fine."
"You are not fine," said Blue. His wings unfurled from his back. "Why don't you tell Mr Butterfly what's happening?"
Flowery knew Blue wasn't messing around when he brought out Mr Butterfly. He looked at Yellow, who was staring daggers at him, and realised he wasn't going to get out of this easily.
So he told them everything. His Hanahaki, how it had been brought on by his unrequited love for Asgore, how no one knew if there was a cure, how he was probably throwing up his insides until there was nothing left. He avoided eye contact with the other two the whole time. When he finished talking, he briefly spared a glance at Blue and Yellow, and regretted it immediately. They were looking at him like he was on his deathbed. Which maybe he was. But he didn't know for sure if he was going to die. He'd be fine. Surely.
Blue suddenly wrapped him in a hug. "I am so sorry you have been carrying this burden all alone. You must've been in so much pain."
Blue stepped away. "There are very few things in this world that hurt more than a love unrequited. And while I am no expert on this disease which you are afflicted by, I can give you some advice about love. It exists in many forms, not just the romantic kind. Friendship, familial love, self-love. I know you love all of us very much, but it should not have to come at your own expense. Perhaps if you took the time to love yourself, and realise how much you are loved by everyone else, over time you will find that the pain of heartbreak will not affect you nearly as much."
Normally, Flowery always found Blue's advice helpful. Even if it somehow wasn't, hearing his soothing voice would calm Flowery down at least somewhat. But for some reason, today Blue's words flipped a switch inside him that he didn't even know existed.
"What do you know about unrequited love?!" Flowery snapped. "Yellow loves you back! You can look into his eyes and know that he feels the same way about you as you do about him! Neither of you know what it feels like to put everything on the line only to not even be noticed! Because some people just get to be happy while others don't!"
With that, he stormed out of the room, rapidly blinking back the tears in his eyes.
*
As it turns out, one does not throw up the majority of their insides without experiencing consequences.
Flowery felt… lighter. More hollow. As if even the gentlest of mysterious winds could blow him away at any time. Simply getting around had become an increasingly difficult task as the disease slowly weakened him. By now, everyone else knew something was up with Flowery, even if they didn't know his exact predicament. As such, he was interacting with the others as little as possible, pointedly avoiding Blue and Yellow altogether. So he couldn't say he was too surprised when he was angrily confronted by Seth.
"Flowery!" they said. "Didn't you say you were gonna talk to me if the Hanahaki got worse?!"
"It hasn't gotten worse, though! In fact, everything's coming up roses!" Immediately afterwards, he realised that wasn't the greatest saying to use.
"Right. So you going from throwing up petals to throwing up whole flowers and stems doesn't count as getting worse?"
Flowery chuckled nervously. "How do you know about that?"
"Well, unlike you, the other flowers actually share things with me! I ran into Blue, who seemed very concerned about you, and told me everything in the hopes that I would know how to help you get better. You should've come to me once you started throwing up whole flowers! But stems as well?!" Seth's voice became quieter. "That's a really bad sign."
"...Care to explain why?"
Seth wasn't angry anymore. They looked and sounded like they were about to cry. Flowery had never seen them like that.
"The research I've done on this hasn't gotten me very far. But from everything I know, I've come up with a hypothesis." Seth took a deep, shuddering breath. "As the disease worsens, you'll keep throwing up more and more of your insides, including your inner stems. And if you throw up enough of your stems, you won't have enough of them left to absorb nutrients from your roots, and so that means… you'll… die." They said the last word so quietly that it was barely audible.
Flowers have no hearts, so Flowery didn't know what was sinking.
"I'm sorry," said Seth. "I'm being a hypocrite. I didn't want to believe it at first. So I didn't tell you earlier. But now we know you're throwing up stems… and… and…" They quickly wiped away the tears falling from their eyes. "And I have no idea how to stop it. I'm so sorry."
"It's okay. You tried your best."
"How is any of this possibly okay?!"
"Well, it doesn't really matter if I'm going to die anyways, right?"
Seth looked up at him in shock, now not bothering to stop the tears streaming down their face.
"How can you say such a thing?"
"Look. We're flowers. One wrong move and it's the end for us. We weren't even meant to live more than a day. Asgore could get evicted at any moment, and if he can't bring us with him, it's over for us, isn't it? Or what if he decides that it's a better idea to start spending his money on food and other necessities for himself instead of taking care of us? I could die tomorrow. So what if this kills me? It's nothing. Really. I'll just keep living until I can't anymore."
"...So this is why you didn't care when I first told you about this? How can you be so okay with dying? How… how long have you felt this way?"
The silence was its own answer.
"Even if you don't care about your life, I do! And so do the others! I'll find a way to cure you! I swear I will!"
With that, Seth ran off. Whether to bury their nose in their books or to process all of the emotions they were dealing with, Flowery didn't know. He didn't mean to upset Seth. But that was all he seemed to be doing these days. Upsetting people.
Both literally and figuratively, he'd never felt so empty inside.
*
Under the sweet and caring facade they put on, Ralsei was miserable. It wasn't hard for Flowery to notice. They were so obsessed with their purpose and with following the prophecy that they couldn't find time to stop and smell the roses.
Flowery saw more of himself in Ralsei than he'd like to admit. For a while he'd resigned himself to the fact that he'd be nothing more than a weak flower. Slowly dying from feelings he shouldn't be able to feel. Thinking about everyone else's happiness except his own. But that now his world was in true danger, he finally felt like he could be more. And he was seeing firsthand just how distressing it was for Ralsei to go down this path of helplessness and people-pleasing.
He also had to admire the friendship and devotion between Kris, Susie, and Ralsei. No matter what obstacles were in their way, they kept going and supported each other. Flowery felt a twinge of remorse when he thought about how he'd been pushing away his own friends.
He thought about what Pink had said about Hanahaki having other cures beyond returned feelings and surgery. He thought about Blue's advice to experience other types of love.
Maybe there really was hope.
*
"Someone has to take care of the flowers."
"…heh. Can't argue with that, oldbuddy."
Flowery had failed to achieve what he'd set out to do. He hadn't defeated the three heroes. He hadn't stopped Asgore from finding the Dark Fountain. Yet somehow, he was okay with that.
In that moment, it all became perfectly clear.
It didn't matter how perfect Flowery was, how many pies he fished out of ponds, how many mixtapes he put together. Asgore would never love him romantically, no. But if he was willing to give up his ideal world, meticulously crafted to appeal to his every interest, just to care for the flowers, well, was there any stronger act of love?
He thought of Seth and the research they did for him. Of Blue, who still tried to help him even after he snapped at him. Of how worried Orange and Pink were when they found out what was happening. Of all the other times his friends showed they cared about him.
He was surrounded by people who loved him, and so maybe, just maybe, Flowery deserved to love himself as well.
After this, he'd explain to everyone what had been happening to him, and apologise for pushing them away. He'd let people help him out for once. He'd be more appreciative of all the love around him. And one day he'd take all that love and show it towards himself.
As he was thinking about all this, he realised he felt… different. The empty feeling inside him was being replaced by something. Things that felt like they were blooming inside him. Was this it? Was his Hanahaki gone? Were the petals and stems that made up his insides finally, finally growing back? He didn't know that for sure. All he could do was guess. But it felt like he'd somehow been given a second chance.
*
When the Knight had torn him clean in half, and countless flowers sprouted from the wound, he knew he'd guessed right.