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The cruel chill of the spacecraft’s air conditioning stung her glassy eyes, as the heartbroken young woman who had just dumped her boyfriend folded herself over the coffee table in the lounge of the Betsy II. Laurel would’ve gone to her pod as being out in the open made her feel exposed, but she needed the air. Yeah, she was strong and calm, all she needed was some air as she tried to regain composure.
That captain.. That snake. Laurel couldn’t believe that he was the one that got her best friend pregnant, while he had promised not to lead on that poor girl and slept with Laurel instead. Some kind of “superfriend” he was. She was concerned, more than anything else, about Maria. All Laurel could think about was the pain that Maria felt, being used by a man who she could assume only saw her as an object to be desired. Her chest tensed as she continued pondering, how would Maria fare, knowing she didn’t want to bear the burden of carrying and raising a child, especially not with a man who didn’t love her. It was terrible to imagine her future, Laurel couldn’t help but feel hurt herself.
She was so lost in thought that she had startled, as she heard a loud bang! coming from behind her. She swivelled her torso around and peered down and realised that it was just a fellow crewmate stuffing himself inside the minifridge. Large green eyes gazed up at her, like a bewildered deer subject to car lights on the road.
The bottles rattled as Wuan turned and continued his rummaging for more beer. After obtaining his target of five bottles of beer and slammed the door shut, he lingered a little longer around the lounge, for some reason.
Laurel had hoped he hadn’t seen her in her obviously terrible state, dark streams of mascara staining her puffed cheeks, but that hope didn’t last when Wuan finally broke the silence.
“You okay?” he asked timidly.
She had paused for a few seconds, contemplating whether or not to answer. He was a kind man, it wouldn’t hurt, would it?
“Just broke off things with that captain of ours after I found out that he’s a liar who’s been playing with Maria and I’s hearts.”
Wuan made his way over with an armful of beer bottles, which clanked harshly as he placed them on the table in front of them, and threw himself onto the soft couch opposite to Laurel.
“Oh, shit. Have a beer, why doncha?” he offered as he became comfy in his seat, stretching his arm out with a bottle in his hand.
“Thanks, Wuan, but I’m good, don’t want to get drunk over something I don’t feel particularly depressed about.”
The man shifted in his seat, confused, “You’re not? You don’t feel sad about him?”
“Well, not anymore I guess. Now I’m… kinda relieved I left him there…” she gazed at Wuan’s furrowed eyebrows.
His flushed ears perked up, intrigued, “Hm? That quick to get over it?”
“I know it’s weird… but did I ever truly love him? Did I enjoy what we had? We just talked for a bit about his situationship and I was happy to be his friend, but when he started making moves, I-I don’t know,” eyes averted, the girl ran her fingers through her pin-straight, hay-coloured hair frantically, as if searching for answers in there, “I think I just wanted someone to love me, whether I was attracted to him or not.”
As Laurel looked back at Wuan, she noticed his slender frame stiffen up slightly, lips parted as if he had something to say that he had been holding in. Eagerly awaiting his elaboration, she didn’t say a word, giving him space to get comfortable and speak his mind.
“Y’know Laurel, uhh… y’know that kinda reminds me about how I felt with… girls. Back at Star Corps Academy, you see, they’d all hook up with each other, and of course I tried going out with some of the girls-” Wuan’s head drooped, his hair obscuring his eyes, as if he regret opening his mouth,
“But it didn’t feel right. I didn’t feel anything. There was only one of my friends- I knew I… was different, but I just couldn’t accept that, I guess.” His long fidgety fingers grasped the now empty bottle tightly, like a fearful kid finding comfort in a teddy bear.
“Look, I just think you’re similar to me. I could be wrong ‘bout all this, so I hope you don’t judge me or tell anyone about this.”
Huh? Was Wuan gay? Laurel relaxed and leaned back on her seat, sharing an empathetic smile with the other, letting him know that he’s safe.
“Think you might want to look into comphet. I dunno but you do seem to kinda be experiencing it if you ask me,” he sheepishly shrugged.
Laurel froze, processing what he had just said. Comphet? She had never considered the possibility of her being lesbian. But as she remembered the warm feeling that blossomed in her chest when she spent time with Maria, that she had never felt with Jonas, it all started to make sense.
“That’s it, I think I’m lesbian!” she exclaimed as she stood up urgently.
Wuan, taken aback by the sudden movement, grinned, “That was awfully quick. You sure you didn’t know before?”
Laurel let out a giggle, “No, I’ve just never had a strong sense of identity in that sense anyway, so I really don’t have any feelings of denial or anything! You’ve really helped a lot, Wuan, thank you.”
The taller man nodded proudly, then went on to chug another beer. Laurel had remembered what Wuan had said just before, he wasn’t attracted to women? There was only one of his friends? He was attracted to? She had to question him.
“Um, so you’re gay?”
Rubbing the back of his neck, Wuan nodded awkwardly.
Laurel added eagerly, “Is it Jonas?”
The man in front of her immediately flinched upon hearing the name, his face now burning up in the cold of the spaceship. Wuan’s pupils darted around, nervously looking for a reply, as he stammered.
Laurel couldn’t help but chuckle, “I don’t mean to assume! But it makes sense now, look at you!”
“Hey, it’s just the alcohol getting to me, I swear, man!” Wuan’s face scrunched up and blushed aggressively.
His flustered face was adorable, she thought, wishing she’d be able to feel this kind of puppy love with someone herself. As the odd pair conversed further on the topic of romance, Laurel found herself getting more interested in the topic of Jonas, as she still couldn’t bring herself to forgive him without knowing much about him.
“What do you see in him?” she asked the clueless Wuan.
The man paused and began to muse dreamily as he grinned stupidly, “Well, for one, he’s responsible and smart, so good at being captain amirite?” he fawned, “Then, he also has the cutest face that you wanna kiss all over, oh God, he’s just so adorable…”
Laurel smiled, “I see that. I truly do, he is very sweet… I just totally wouldn’t expect a guy like him to be such a player.” Silence filled the space between them like the chilly atmosphere. Noticing the immediate awkwardness, Laurel regretted saying that, quickly disturbing the silence, “Ah, sorry for bringing it back to the Maria situation, Wuan, nevermind me.”
“But that’s the thing,” he cut in, “I don’t know. You can’t read him at all. Since the early academy years, Jonas fucked around with girls a whole lot, I guess like any other guy. But, he never committed to any relationship - he was with a new girl every weekend! I’ve never seen him go long-term with anyone or even talk about his love- or sex life to me or Dondó. Was he ever happy with just this? I don’t think he’s ever been happy with any of this. I- I just don’t really understand that guy.”
Laurel pondered. Why was he like this? Was Jonas afraid of commitment? Of being hurt? Something? She couldn’t make peace with Jonas for hurting Maria, before she understood how he felt. But he never even communicated with his closest friends, Wuan and Dondó? All this thinking felt like a maze to Laurel, she was utterly lost.
“He’s an asshole, huh?” Wuan cracked a grin.
“No, I’m just… concerned about him! He really never spoke to you about his relationships?”
“I’d confront him about it, but it feels wrong. Why would someone like me be interested in the private life of the captain? He wouldn’t appreciate it, I really shouldn’t,” he remarked solemnly.
“Ah, you’re right, that would be too invasive to his personal life. Still…” the blonde girl huffed, “I’d appreciate it a lot if you could encourage him to speak up a little, be there for him, make him feel safe.”
“I will. Thanks for the talk, Laurel, you’re a good friend.”
Friend? Laurel smiled. It gave her a deep joy in her heart to have someone other than Maria, who saw her as a friend, someone who trusted her and bared his soul to her… and she would never break his trust either.
“You too, superfriend.”