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The realization didn't hit Buck like a lightning bolt.
It creeped in slowly, quiet and persistent like a song stuck in his head.
It wasn't a single moment or one dramatic event. It was a mosaic of years, memories stitched together by glances, shared silences, whispered reassurances, and the weight of survival.
Buck was perched on the edge of the Diaz family couch, Chris already tucked in bed, and Eddie was in the kitchen washing two mugs they'd forgotten earlier.
The TV was on low, playing reruns of some late-night procedural, but Buck was barely paying attention.
His eyes were on Eddie.
He watched the way Eddie's back muscles flexed through his old 118 shirt as he moved. The quiet rhythm of his body. Calm. Solid.
It was almost eight years since they met, Buck realizes.
Eight years of fires and earthquakes and gunshots and grenades and being buried alive and everything else life tried to throw at them. And they were still here. Together.
And not once, not once, had Eddie ever asked him to be anyone but himself.
Buck didn't know what made that thought rise to the surface now.
Maybe it was the quiet. Maybe it was the fact that he hasn't felt like he needed to talk or fill the silence. Maybe it was that Eddie hadn't tried to "fix" him the way so many others had before.
/////////
2018
"You're reckless, Buck." Chimney's words had stung, even if they were true.
Hen hadn't looked at him when it was said, and Bobby had nodded a little too tightly.
But Eddie had just stood there, arms crossed, eyes steady.
He hadn't jumped in to agree, and he hadn't pulled Buck aside to scold him.
Later, in the locker room, Eddie had approached, quiet as always.
"You good?" he asked.
"Why?" Buck had blinked at him. "You gonna chew me out too?"
"Nah. Just..." Eddie shook his head. "Figured someone should check in."
And that was it.
No lecture. No guilt. No expectations.
Just Eddie being Eddie.
2019
"You came for me," Buck had whispered, dazed and still bleeding in the back of the ambulance after being pulled out of the collapsed parking garage.
"Of course I did," Eddie said, fingers gripping his hand tightly. "Always."
//////////
Buck blinked back into the present, staring blankly at the television. His chest ached, not from pain, but from knowing.
How many times had Eddie come for him?
When Buck had been suspended? Eddie never turned his back.
When Buck had spiraled during the lawsuit? Eddie had been patient, grounding, and kind.
When Eddie was shot, Buck had practically burned the world down trying to protect Christopher. And when Buck nearly died on that ladder, Eddie had made sure Buck was never alone, not even for a minute.
//////////
2020
After the tsunami, after the chaos, Buck had been a mess.
He'd found Christopher but still couldn't shake the fear. That fear had lodged deep in his bones.
He remembered sitting on Eddie's porch late one night, hands shaking, eyes red.
"I thought I lost him," Buck had whispered.
Eddie had just sat beside him, thigh pressed to Buck's, and said, "You didn't. And you won't. Not while you're around."
That had been the first time Buck had cried in front of someone without shame. And Eddie hadn't looked away. Hadn't tried to stop him. Just stayed.
//////////
"Hey," Eddie's voice pulled him out of the memory, gentle but sure. "Do you want tea or water?"
"Uh, tea's good." Buck looked up. "Thanks."
Eddie disappears into the kitchen again. Buck watches his back.
How many people had he let himself fall apart around? Really fall apart?
Just one.
//////////
2021
After the well. The lawsuit. The spiral.
"Why didn't you come to me?" Eddie had asked, desperate and raw.
Buck hadn't had an answer then. He barely has one now. Maybe he'd been scared of just how much Eddie mattered. Maybe he'd been afraid that needing Eddie was too much.
But Eddie had said something that night that still rings in Buck's ears.
"You don't have to carry everything alone, Buck." he said. "Not when I'm here. I want to be here."
//////////
Buck stares at his hands now.
Eddie never made him feel like he had to be the charming, heroic Buck everyone expected. He could be tired around Eddie. He could be quiet. He could be messy. Emotional. Honest.
He could just be.
And still, Eddie chose him.
Every time.
Even when Buck was at his worst, raging, grieving, spiraling, Eddie never walked away. Never once made him feel like he was a burden.
And wasn't that love?
Wasn't that what love should be?
Eddie sits beside him now, handing him the mug of tea, their knees brushing. Buck accepts it with a quiet "thanks" and takes a sip even though it's still too hot.
They sit like that for a while, silent, comfortable, home.
And maybe that's it.
Home.
Buck's moved so many times. Chased so many versions of himself. Tried to prove so much.
But the only time he's ever felt settled, safe, was when he was with Eddie.
"You okay?" Eddie asked suddenly, eyes searching his face. "You've been quiet tonight."
"Yeah." Buck let out a soft, nervous laugh. "Just... thinking."
"About what?" Eddie tilted his head.
He could lie. Could deflect. He'd done it a million times before.
But tonight felt different. He was different. Maybe he was tired of pretending not to know what this is.
"About you," Buck said quietly.
Eddie stilled, eyes narrowing slightly in that way he does when he was trying to read between the lines.
"You've always been there for me, Eddie. Even when I didn't deserve it. You've seen me at my worst, and somehow... you still stayed. You never asked me to be anything other than myself. And that's never happened before." Buck continued, setting his mug down and turning to face him fully. He leaned in, breathing just a little faster. "But being with you feels like home. And not the kind you grow up in. The kind you choose. The kind you fight for."
Eddie swallowed, throat working.
Silence stretched.
"I'm in love with you, Eddie." Buck felt his heart beat against his ribs like it's trying to escape.
It hangs in the air, heavy, fragile.
But Eddie didn't run. Didn't flinch.
Instead, he reached out and placed his hand gently on Buck's knee.
"You think I didn't know?" he says softly.
"What?" Buck blinked.
"I've been waiting for you to catch up, Buck."Eddie laughed under his breath, shaking his head.
"You–" now Buck stilled.
"I'm in love with you too," Eddie interrupted, voice firm, eyes warm. "Have been for a long time."
"Then why–" Buck's throat tightened.
"Because I knew you needed time. And I was willing to wait. Still am." Eddie explained. "But I'm glad you're here now."
Buck exhaled, the breath shaking out of him like a dam finally breaking.
Eddie cupped his cheek with one calloused hand, thumb brushing across the corner of Buck's mouth.
"You don't have to be anything but yourself, Buck." Eddie added. "That's who I love."
Buck surged forward, pressing their foreheads together. Their breaths mingled, hearts pounding in sync.
"You're my home," Buck whispered.
"Right back at you." Eddie whispered.
And when they kissed, soft and sure and long overdue, it didn't feel like a beginning or an ending.
It felt like coming home.
