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Suguru knew something was wrong before Satoru even opened the door.
It was the knocking.
Three quiet taps.
Then nothing.
Suguru looked up from the book in his lap.
Satoru never knocked.
He usually walked straight in, announced himself at an unnecessarily loud volume, and immediately complained about whatever food Suguru had bought without him.
The knocking came again.
Three taps.
Suguru was already standing.
“Satoru?”
No answer.
He crossed the apartment quickly and unlocked the door.
Satoru was standing on the other side.
Barely.
His shoulder was pressed against the hallway wall, his head tipped forward. His white hair had fallen over his forehead, and his uniform was dusty and torn in several places.
The first thing Suguru noticed was his breathing.
Too fast.
The second was the way he was standing.
One hand was braced against the wall.
The other was pressed firmly against his side.
“Satoru.”
“I’m fine.”
Suguru stared at him.
“You look terrible.”
“That’s rude.”
Satoru attempted a smile.
It didn’t quite work.
Suguru stepped closer.
“What happened?”
“Mission.”
“Obviously.”
“Complicated.”
“How complicated?”
Satoru shrugged.
The movement made his face tighten.
Suguru caught it.
“Inside.”
“I’m okay.”
“Inside, Satoru.”
Something in Suguru’s voice made him stop arguing.
Satoru stepped through the doorway.
He made it three steps.
Then his knee buckled.
Suguru caught him before he hit the floor.
“Whoa.”
Satoru grabbed the front of Suguru’s shirt.
For a moment, all his weight was against him.
Suguru felt his breath against his neck.
“Easy.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’ve said that twice.”
“Because it’s true.”
“You nearly collapsed.”
“I was tired.”
“Satoru.”
“Fine.”
He sounded irritated now, which was almost reassuring.
Almost.
Suguru guided him toward the couch.
Satoru sat down heavily.
His head immediately fell backward against the cushions.
His eyes closed.
Suguru crouched in front of him.
“Look at me.”
One blue eye opened.
“I’m looking.”
“Both.”
Satoru opened the other.
Suguru studied his face.
His pupils seemed normal, but he looked pale beneath the dirt and exhaustion.
“Are you dizzy?”
“A little.”
“How much?”
“Enough that the room is doing something weird.”
Suguru’s stomach dropped.
“Head injury?”
“Probably.”
“Probably?”
“I got hit.”
“Where?”
Satoru gestured vaguely toward his head.
“Somewhere around there.”
“That’s incredibly helpful.”
“I try.”
Suguru reached toward his forehead.
Satoru flinched away.
“Don’t.”
Suguru stopped.
“Does it hurt?”
“Yeah.”
“How bad?”
Satoru hesitated.
Suguru already knew that hesitation meant the answer was worse than he wanted to admit.
“Bad.”
“Okay.”
Suguru stood.
“I’m calling Shoko.”
Satoru’s hand caught his wrist.
“No.”
“Yes.”
“Suguru.”
“You’re confused, you’re dizzy, you’re having trouble standing, and you’ve apparently been walking around with an injury you don’t even seem to remember properly.”
“I remember.”
“Then tell me what happened.”
Satoru went quiet.
His grip loosened.
“I don’t know.”
Suguru’s expression changed.
Satoru looked away.
“I remember the beginning.”
His voice was quieter now.
“I remember fighting. Then…”
He frowned.
“Nothing.”
Suguru crouched again.
“Nothing?”
“I woke up somewhere else.”
“Satoru.”
“I was fine.”
“You weren’t.”
“I could walk.”
“You could barely walk.”
Satoru sighed.
“I didn’t want you to worry.”
Suguru’s jaw tightened.
“You came home alone.”
“I always come home alone.”
“Not like this.”
Satoru didn’t answer.
Suguru reached for his phone.
This time Satoru didn’t stop him.
While Suguru spoke with Shoko, Satoru sank farther into the couch.
His eyes kept closing.
“Satoru?”
“I’m awake.”
“You were falling asleep.”
“I’m tired.”
“Stay awake for me.”
Satoru opened his eyes again.
Suguru sat beside him.
“Talk to me.”
“About what?”
“Anything.”
Satoru thought about it.
“Your hair looks weird.”
Suguru blinked.
“My hair?”
“Yeah.”
“You nearly collapsed in the doorway and that’s what you noticed?”
“It’s important.”
Despite himself, Suguru laughed quietly.
Satoru smiled.
Then the smile disappeared.
His eyes squeezed shut.
“Satoru?”
“Head hurts.”
Suguru immediately moved closer.
“Where?”
“Everywhere.”
He brought a hand to his forehead.
“Can I touch you?”
A pause.
Then Satoru nodded.
Suguru rested his fingers gently against his temple.
Satoru leaned into the touch almost immediately.
His breathing had become shallow.
“Just stay there.”
“I’m staying.”
Satoru’s eyes remained closed.
Suguru watched him carefully.
“You’re shaking.”
“I’m cold.”
Suguru pulled a blanket over him.
Satoru curled beneath it.
For several minutes, neither spoke.
Then Satoru whispered,
“Suguru?”
“Yeah?”
“I think I’m going to throw up.”
Suguru moved instantly.
He grabbed the wastebasket beside the couch and helped Satoru lean forward.
Satoru breathed through his nose, one hand gripping Suguru’s sleeve.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize.”
“I hate this.”
“I know.”
“I feel awful.”
“I know.”
Satoru’s shoulders trembled.
Suguru rubbed slow circles between them.
After a while, Satoru leaned back.
His face had gone even paler.
Suguru pressed the back of his hand gently against Satoru’s forehead.
“You’re burning up.”
“That’s probably bad.”
“Yes.”
“Shoko’s coming?”
“She’s on her way.”
Satoru groaned.
“She’s going to yell at me.”
“Probably.”
“You’re enjoying this.”
“Immensely.”
Satoru’s eyes cracked open.
“You’re supposed to be comforting me.”
“I am.”
“You’re terrible at it.”
“Yet you keep holding onto me.”
Satoru looked down.
His hand was still wrapped around Suguru’s sleeve.
“Oh.”
He didn’t let go.
Suguru covered Satoru’s hand with his own.
“You can hold on.”
Satoru’s expression softened.
“I know.”
The apartment fell quiet again.
Then Satoru’s breathing changed.
Suguru immediately noticed.
“Satoru?”
No response.
“Satoru.”
His head had fallen against the couch.
His eyes were closed.
Suguru touched his cheek.
“Hey.”
Satoru stirred.
“Mhm?”
“Stay with me.”
“I’m here.”
“Good.”
Satoru opened his eyes.
They were unfocused.
“Suguru?”
“I’m right here.”
“You’re really here?”
The question hit harder than it should have.
“Yeah.”
Satoru stared at him for several seconds.
Then he reached forward blindly.
Suguru caught his hand.
“I’m here.”
Satoru squeezed his fingers.
His eyes closed again.
“Don’t leave.”
“I won’t.”
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
Satoru exhaled shakily.
Suguru shifted closer and carefully supported his head against his chest.
Satoru immediately relaxed into him.
The strongest person Suguru knew had spent his entire life being the one everyone relied on.
The one who was supposed to arrive first.
The one who was supposed to survive.
The one who was supposed to come home standing.
Tonight, he couldn’t even keep his eyes open.
And Suguru couldn’t stop thinking about how close he had come to coming home to an empty doorway instead.
He tightened his arms around him.
“You’re safe,” he whispered.
Satoru’s fingers curled weakly into his shirt.
“Okay.”
The word was barely audible.
Suguru rested his cheek against Satoru’s hair.
“Just rest.”
This time, Satoru didn’t argue.
He simply held onto Suguru and let himself be taken care of.