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Agott is sure this is a bad idea; no other explanation fits the dread she feels in her bones as she and Coco walk toward the fancy restaurant her family picked for this reunion.
She feels her throat is too tight; the hand that isn’t holding Coco’s comes up to try to loosen the collar of her dress shirt.
“You alright?” Coco asks, tilting her head to the side.
“As much as I can be.” She answers honestly. When she got a letter from one of her extended family about a dinner a few days after one of her cousins had spotted her and Coco on a date in the great hall, that’s when the dread in her body started. It didn’t help that they invited Coco as well.
At the silence in her answer, Agott turned to face Coco, who was looking at her with worry in her eyes. Agott decided to be clearer about her feelings. “I– I just don’t like this idea. Feels like they’ll just use this as an opportunity to hound me into coming back and accepting the librarian position.”
It wasn’t the first or the fifth time that they had done it. They had tried quite some tactics about it, with Agott shutting them down and explaining that she might've wanted what they offered to her in the past more than anything, but it's too late now.
She never explicitly said that she plans to be Coco's Watchful Eye, the two of them having a long way to go until that happens, but she would gladly tell them if asked directly about it.
“Well, we don’t need to do this if you’re worried about that.” Coco let go of the hand that held Agott’s and brought it to the collar of the shirt she had been messing with, her other hand occupied by the bouquet she had insisted on bringing as a gift for Agott’s mother.
The younger witch sighed, “No. I can’t just avoid them until the end of my life. Either they learn to stop insisting on that proposition, or I learn to shut them down. And that won’t happen if I just go the rest of my life avoiding them.”
At that, Coco gave her a small smile before cupping her cheek and pecking her lips for half a second. “My brave and handsome girlfriend.”
Agott felt her cheeks heat up at that, looking away in embarrassment. “We– We’re going to be late.”
Coco let out a groan but complied, letting go of her face and linking their hands again, making Agott turn to face her, and they started walking towards the restaurant again.
The trip was short, and less than two clock marks later, Agott was pushing the door open and letting Coco enter first, who rolled her eyes at the gentlemanly way of her girlfriend.
The restaurant was fancy, to say the least. Dark polished wood framed its tall windows and walls, while dozens of floating lamps cast a warm golden glow over white-clothed tables, silverware, and the delicate flowers blooming in crystal vases.
Agott gave her and Coco’s name at the front desk; the witch working immediately straightened his back at the mention of the last name that made the world of witches tremble. He meekly led them to the second floor of the building, crossing an anteroom and opening the door to an empty dining hall, most likely paid to be completely reserved for the family.
Well, it was mostly empty, a long and dark wooden table being the only one used in the place. Agott instantly recognized her extended family, most of whom she hadn’t seen in a decade or more.
They seemed to be all in deep conversation before finally someone noticed the new arrivals and the table quietly fell silent. She couldn’t help but notice that the seat at the head of the table, which her mother would occupy, was empty.
Her uncle Angus, who had signed the invitations in the first place, quickly got up from the table and walked towards them, a polite smile on his face.
“Agott, it is good to see you.”
“Good evening, Uncle. I expected to see my mother here?” She looked around, not seeing Adina's hat or cloak hanging on the several coat racks near the table.
“Oh, your mother ran into a problem at the library. She sent a letter bird telling us she would be late, but that she would try to make it.”
“I see.” Agott nodded before turning to Coco and eyeing the bouquet in her hands. “You mind hanging onto those for a little longer?”
Coco chuckled. “Of course I don't mind.”
From the corner of her eye, she saw her uncle's head snap in the direction of Coco, seemingly only realizing now that Agott wasn't alone despite being the one who invited Coco.
“Ah.” His hands fidgeted with each other. “You must be Coco.”
“Yes, sir. It is a pleasure to meet you!” Coco's chipper voice didn't waver a bit, the witch extending her hand in his direction in the hopes of a handshake.
Agott watched as her uncle stared at the hand for a few seconds with an almost undecipherable expression before finally accepting the handshake, although it was brief, his hands returning to fidgeting with his fingers.
“Please, follow us; we've saved you both seats at the table.”
Agott nodded, mentally noticing that he hadn't returned Coco's polite greeting. She shook her head, trying to not think too much about it. Maybe Coco's enthusiasm was a bit too much for an Arklaum. Stars, she has experienced it firsthand.
When they reached an empty chair between two of Agott's cousins, who politely nodded and greeted her, her uncle stopped.
“Here's your seat, Ms. Coco.”
Agott was taken back by this. There were no seats available for her; even the one across from the empty one was being used. By the expression on Coco's face, she had a similar thought process.
“And… where am I supposed to sit, exactly?”
Her uncle perked up at that. “Why, next to your mother!”
Agott's eyes travelled ahead, stopping at an empty chair perpendicular to the equally empty one at the head of the table.
Agott cleared her throat. “If possible, I would like to sit next to my girlfriend.”
“I- It's just, we thought you'd like to sit next to Adina–”
“Then let Coco sit next to me right there. Or move me to sit here; I'm sure Airi and Aglae wouldn't mind, right?”
Both women's eyes widened as they snapped their heads to look at her, most likely surprised that Agott remembered their names after a decade.
Her uncle started fidgeting with his fingers again, stepping closer to Agott.
“Well, you see, it would make everyone move places to accommodate that…”
“So?” Agott stood her ground. “Coco doesn't know anyone here besides my mother and me; why would you think it would be a wise idea to put her in between people she doesn't know instead of, you know, her girlfriend?”
Her uncle opened his mouth but closed it before sighing and signaling for her cousin to sit on the spot that was supposed to be Coco's. Agott watched as other relatives did the same, moving and grumbling under their breath, but she couldn't care less about it.
Finally, when the spot next to hers was vacant, she took Coco's hand in hers, pulling her forward and passing by her uncle without giving him a single glance back.
She took her hat off her head as Coco did the same, both women hanging on the racks next to the table. Before Coco could, she put her hands on the front clasp of Coco's cloak and pulled it off her, giving her a smile, which Coco replied with one of her own.
Agott hung her cloak next to Coco's, careful to not wrinkle the fabric of either of them, but especially Coco's. She turned around and pulled the chair next to hers so Coco could sit.
“Thank you, love,” Coco said when Agott sat next to her. Agott knew she wasn't talking just about the chair or the cloak.
“Anytime.”
The chatter around the table resumed a few clock marks later, but Agott didn't tune into it, deciding she'd much rather talk to Coco about what they would be doing before bed tonight or what they would eat in the morning.
Coco’s attention is, however, dragged away when Agott’s aunt Adalyn starts a conversation, the woman sitting directly opposite to the witch.
“So, Coco, do you still find yours surprised by things in the witch world?”
Coco smiles, always eager to talk about magic. “Sometimes! I mean– Not as much as I used to when I was twelve. But I think magic is something that can’t stop being surprising; there’s so much you can do with it!”
Her aunt laughed, drinking from the chalice filled with wine in front of her. “I suppose that must be charming, seeing everything with fresh eyes.”
Agott is surprised at her aunt’s words. She seems far nicer than the last time they saw each other. Maybe it is out of politeness to someone who isn’t from the family.
“Though… I imagine that eventually wears off.” Agott raises an eyebrow at that.
“Oh! I don’t think it has yet!” Coco says with a sincere smile, and her aunt gives a small pause before smiling again.
“No, perhaps not.”
The sense of dread that Agott had felt earlier returns, but this time different in a way she can’t explain.
The conversation ends after that, and Agott is glad for it. The waiter passes by the table, offering the two of them drinks; both of them take water, not looking forward to getting drunk tonight of all nights.
Coco and Agott playfully toast their glasses, letting out small giggles at the silliness of it all.
“Agott, Coco.” Her uncle starts, making both of them look in his direction. “Have you both thought about the future?”
“We have, yes,” Agott replies, looking lovingly at her girlfriend.
“I am currently studying for my fifth test in a few years. After that, I think we will move into an atelier, although we’re not sure of where.”
“Oh, you two aren’t staying in the hall?” He asks, seemingly genuinely curious.
“No, Coco is going to be a teacher and have her own apprentices, and I’ll be by her side as long as she will have me,” Agott says, smiling at her and feeling the blush rise to her face. Coco smiles at her back.
“Ah, yes… I’ve been meaning to ask you a question, Agott.” She makes an inquisitive noise, not ready to tear her eyes away from Coco. “If you and Coco are going to be together permanently, do you intend to continue the main Arklaum bloodline?”
Agott chose the wrong moment to take a sip of her water because the question made her choke on it, coughing loudly, her throat hurting and, of course, the redness on her face increasing tenfold, now for a completely different reason.
She felt Coco stroke her on the back, her voice distant in the moment of breathlessness before she turned to her, voice raspy. Her girlfriend was clearly worried about her, but her face was probably equally as red as Agott’s.
Agott took a deep breath before facing her uncle. “I– I don’t think this is a matter that should be discussed so openly.”
It seemed obvious to her. Whatever answer they came to, it was something between the two of them. But apparently it wasn’t obvious to her uncle.
“Why? From what I understand, you two are living together, no? It should be a thing that you need to discuss. You’re an adult now, Agott.”
Agott snapped her face away, feeling embarrassment wash over her along with a dozen pairs or so of eyes staring at her. When she didn’t answer, her uncle continued, his voice a bit lower in volume but still carrying it far enough for Agott and Coco to hear.
“Although, now that I think about it, it wouldn’t be possible…”
Agott felt her blood boil at that. It had always been known that, despite Unknowings not having any prejudice to same sex couples since adoption was an option for them, witches weren’t so kind, knowing that their already minority population could not continue with a new generation of witches that shared their blood. Or fearing that they could resort to forbidden magic to be able to have children.
It was stupid. This argument was stupid. This night was stupid. Everything was stupid–
She felt a familiar hand hold hers under the table. She turned to face Coco, who mouthed a ‘breathe’ to her and squeezed her hand. Agott did as instructed, realizing that her hands had been gripping the front of her pants hard, white knuckles and all.
She took another breath, fixing her posture and again facing her uncle, who seemed unsettled by her reaction.
“I will not repeat myself, Angus.” The name drop made his eyes widen. “Drop the subject and let’s not ruin this lovely night.”
The older man seemed to want to say something but stopped, grumbling something under his breath that Agott did not hear this time.
“You… two are very different.” Her aunt started, having been silent throughout the ordeal. Before Agott could answer, Coco took the reins, her smile brightening as if the previous interaction never happened in the first place.
“We are. I think that’s part of why it works.”
Agott smiled at her, but her smile fell when her uncle spoke up again, mumbling again.
“Does it?”
“Yes,” Agott replied firmly.
“You two are very young.”
“Am I, now?” She snapped. “Why did that never matter when the whole family wanted to pressure me into accepting the librarian position? Or even a single minute ago, you told me I’m an adult, didn’t you?”
Agott would most likely not be proud of how she was handling this situation later when her head had cooled off, but right now she can’t be bothered to care about any of that.
“I–” He stammered before clearing his throat. “I am just saying that you’re twenty years old, Agott. People change at that age.”
“I am very aware of that fact.”
“Your… priorities change.”
Agott rolled her eyes. “Still aware of it.”
“Who– W-What seems charming now may become–”
“You can stop there, I think I’ve heard enough.” She said, a hand on top of the table, ready to stand up, but a delicate and quiet touch on the wrist still under the table made Agott halt.
She looked at Coco, golden eyes full of hurt, but she still whispered to her, trying to calm her down. “He’s only talking.”
Agott felt her heart break a bit, seeing the love of her life trying to calm her down despite being the one that her uncle was targeting for a moment. At that, Agott took a deep breath and made herself comfortable on the chair, hand holding Coco’s under the table as she leaned on the seat without another word and refusing to look at her uncle.
After a few moments in silence, she noticed how her face was still hot from all the emotions, the sweat probably making her hair stick to her skin in the gross way she never liked.
“I’m going to the restroom.” She whispered to Coco. “Do you want to come? I don’t want to leave you alone.”
Coco smiled at her. “It’s fine.” When Agott didn’t move, Coco let out a silent laugh. “I’ll be fine, love.” She let go of Agott’s hand and raised it to push a sweaty strand off her skin. “Now go.”
Agott still hesitated, but she decided to trust Coco in that.
She pushed her chair back and muttered that she was going to the restroom and turned before anyone could stop her or start anything else.
Inside the restroom, Agott unlocked the vapor bubble and poured a grand amount of cold water into her hands before splashing it on her face, staring at her reflection in the mirror as she braced herself on her hands.
She looked like a mess, bangs wet, face slowly coming back to its normal shade, a scowl staring back. She needed to calm herself down. She didn’t need Coco getting involved in the whole mess that is her family. Agott can handle them; Coco doesn’t deserve to be forced to put up with them.
The door to the restroom opened, and the small hope of seeing Coco was gone when she saw the lady she had the pleasure of calling her aunt walk in.
“Agott.”
She held back from scoffing. “Adalyn.” She turned back to stare at her reflection, trying to remember to stay calm by watching her own body language. “Are you here to talk some more, like Angus?”
“Oh dear, I was just checking on you.” She approaches Agott, a hand raised to touch her face, but Agott holds her arm back.
“If you have something to say, just say it. There’s no need to dance around it.”
The woman’s eyes widened before she pulled her arm back and fixed her own posture.
“Agott… Your family is just worried about you.”
“Are you? Because all that you’ve done for me in the last decade was either shun me away from the only home I had or try to win me back with a position I do not want when you regretted it.”
“Well– Both things happened because we care about you.” Agott refrained from saying a flat-out ‘bullshit’. “And again, we invited you today because we care about you.”
“Then if this is one of your little interventions, why did Angus invite my girlfriend? She doesn’t need to deal with the mess of our family.”
Her aunt let out a dry chuckle. “Well, to be honest, we didn’t want her to show up–”
Agott snapped her head to look at her, her aunt clearly realizing a second too late that she had spoken too much by the way she was covering her mouth with her gloved hand, dark eyes wide.
“What do you mean?” Agott turned to look at her fully. “You all invited her. What do you mean you didn’t want her here?!”
“Well– It was mostly out of politeness and–”
“Oh, cut the crap!” Her aunt gasped at that. “Why didn’t you want Coco here?”
Her aunt bit her lip for a moment before sighing and giving Agott an almost eerie but also nervous smile.
“Listen, Agott, there is nothing wrong with Coco! She is lovely company, I’m sure.” Agott narrowed her eyes, immediately knowing what comes next. “But she’s not from our world. You can’t keep pretending that doesn’t matter.”
“Watch me.” The younger witch said, voice sharp enough that she could probably cut water with it.
“It’s just– She wasn’t born a witch.”
Agott let out a dry, sarcastic laugh. “You do know there is nothing biological about magic, right? It’s the whole reason the pact was instituted, so a system that anyone can learn would be safeguarded. I would think an Arklaum would know that.”
Embarrassment rose to the old woman’s cheeks. “I-I do know that! But she wasn’t raised as one; you know that’s not the same.”
“Enlighten me on why, please.”
“For stars’ sake– You know why, Agott.” She facepalms and gives her niece a roll of her eyes.
Agott lets out a sigh and takes a step towards her relative, eyes narrowing dangerously. “No. Tell me.”
The woman, who mere seconds ago was acting so self-important and acting as if she was teaching a child, took a step back.
When no one answered, Agott took another step forward. “Go on.” She felt a dangerous smile curl her lips, and when silence reigned again, she continued. “Tell me exactly why Coco isn’t enough for you.”
Finally, the woman seemed to have had enough, and thinking she was safe from judgment in the empty restroom, she scowled and stared up at Agott.
“Because she is an outsider, Agott! You’re an Arklaum first, and you are going to ruin the reputation that we and your mother worked so hard to preserve by being with her!”
There it is, Agott thought. But before she could answer, she caught sight of a spot of green that wasn’t by the door before.
Coco was at the door, halfway in, and Agott’s heart broke. Her expression was of nothing but hurt, golden eyes watery.
“I–” Her voice was choked and small as she struggled to get the words out, looking away from both Arklaums. “I was just… going to check on Agott since she was taking too long. But it seems this is… a bad time.”
“Coco–” Agott tried, forgetting completely about her relative and walking towards the door.
“I’ll go back to the table.” She closed the door before Agott could reach her and comfort her, not caring about any eyes or anything else.
“Coco!” She threw the restroom door open, hastily walking outside, but when she found her girlfriend, Coco was already sitting at the table, head low and staring at her hands on her lap.
Agott rushed to her side, hugging and whispering apologies, stuff like ‘I’m sorry, love’ or ‘you know that that isn’t true’.
She heard Coco sniffle low enough that no one else could, and her heart broke even more. She could tell that there was some kind of commotion happening at the table, but Agott didn’t care about that.
Finally, she heard one final sniffle before Coco tapped her in the arm, silently asking to be let go. Agott didn't want to, mostly because Coco didn't say anything back or hug her back, which is unusual when this type of thing happens, but she relents after a couple of seconds.
She keeps a close watch on Coco, eyeing from her side the heated discussion happening at the table. Cousins, aunts, uncles, relatives she doesn't even know her kinship to, fighting and discussing so loudly she can't try to discern what they say without her head hurting.
Coco stands up and clears her throat, expecting people to stop and hear her, but when they just keep fighting, she grabs her empty glass and taps the metal spoon against it, the high-pitched crystal sound calling their attention.
She stayed silent for a moment, acting as though she wasn't on the verge of tears just moments before, but Agott saw the way her lip trembled ever so slightly.
“I– listen, I understand why you're worried.” She eyes Adalyn, who was speaking loudly with what Agott believes to be another aunt of hers.
“Coco.” Agott tries to stop her. She shouldn't be comforting them. Coco looks at her, a nervous smile on her lips.
“No, no! I do, I'm not lying for peacekeeping, believe me.” She turns back to them. “I understand what you fear, Miss Adalyn, and I understand what all of you must fear.” She clasps her hands in front of her, golden eyes scanning every face. “Agott… She is amazing. She has a lot of opportunities. I don't want anyone, especially not her family, to think that I'm keeping her from doing something she wants because of our relationship!” She gives a small but genuine nervous laugh.
Agott’s face immediately changes from worry to straight-up fear. She opens her mouth to stop Coco, but Adalyn’s voice is quicker.
“We're so glad you understand, Coco.”
Coco's smile disappears at the words, eyes widening as she realizes how her approach to comfort their fears made her admit as if she agreed with them.
“You clearly care and love her.” Adalyn continues.
“I-I do!” Coco tries to sound confident, but Agott can see her fingers fidgeting.
“Then…” Angus continues, “Surely you understand that sometimes caring for someone means recognizing when you're holding them back from greatness.”
Coco takes a step back as if she was just slapped, almost tripping on the chair she was sitting on. Agott quickly steadies her, sitting her back down and feeling Coco's trembling under her hands.
Agott understood everything now. She feels almost stupid for not seeing it earlier. They didn't invite her to try to get her to accept a position at the Tower of Tomes like usual. What they wanted all along was to try to convince her to leave Coco– Worse, make Coco ashamed of being who she is and loving who she loves, changing plans and their target from the moment Coco stepped through that door.
And by the look on her girlfriend's face and the way she is avoiding any eye contact, they had succeeded in that. Agott felt enraged like never before.
She let go of Coco, looking at her ‘family’ straight in the eye and slapping one of her hands flat on the table, loud enough for the sound to echo. “NO!”
“Agott–” Coco tries to calm her, but it's in vain; Agott's blood is boiling hotter than any pyreball that was ever cast.
She looks at her uncle, hoping she is giving him one of her scowls that people say reminds them of her mother. “You don't get to manipulate her into saying what you want to hear!”
“Dear–” Her aunt starts, but Agott snaps the same gaze at her.
“You don't like who Coco is? Too damn bad. I'm not making her change for your comfort. You should already know, but I'll make it clear one last time: Either you accept her the way she is or get used to a life without Agott Arklaum in it.”
An older family member on the other side of the table, whose name Agott frankly doesn't care enough to remember his name now, scoffs at her words. “There’s no need to be dramatic, young lady.”
That's funny. Agott finds it so goddamn funny she starts laughing. “You invited my girlfriend to dinner, expecting she wouldn't show up, but when she does, you spend the entire evening reminding her that you think she doesn't belong here.”
Angus scoffs back, almost smug, “No one said that.”
Both Agott and Coco's eyes fall onto Adalyn, who is avoiding any eye contact in shame. He and a few others groan at the realization that someone had let the owlcat out of the bag.
He mumbles something after shaking his head at the older woman before turning back to Agott.
“We're all just trying to protect you, Agott.”
“From what?!”
“From making a decision you’ll regret.”
‘A decision you will regret’. Not even a ‘might’. They are completely sure of their delusion.
“What is that decision, uncle?” She spits the title with venom. “Dating Coco?”
“The decision to build your entire future around someone who cannot understand the sacrifices involved.”
Agott is ready to fight back, but Coco’s quiet voice is faster, golden eyes looking at the man.
“I do understand, though.”
Agott watches as the gaze that was trying to be reassuring to her changes to something almost apathetic when looking at the other witch. “Do you really?”
Coco is silent at that, shoulders shrinking as she turns her face back down to her hands in her lap. Agott can't take much more of this bullshit.
“One more word about the love of my life and we're leaving.” She says firmly. Despite the fact that she is not staying at this place anymore, she is just letting them choose if their exit will be civilized or just another storm.
The silence that follows is almost enough to give Agott hope that they had listened and understood the boundaries she had set. But when Adalyn speaks up again, she knows there is no being civil anymore.
“Agott, you're smart enough to understand that it's possible to love someone without mistaking them for your equal. Someday you will want a partner who understands where you come from.”
Coco's quiet voice, not looking up, answers. “I can learn.”
Agott feels her heart break, because Coco shouldn't be saying this. She shouldn't have to learn any of the crap that her family thinks is so important.
But no matter, her aunt looks at Coco condescendingly, as if she is trying to teach the obvious to a child or an animal.
“My dear, that is precisely the point. You shouldn't need to learn.”
Silence follows her words, tension thick enough to cut through with a sword.
Then Agott nods and silently turns to the rack where she had hung their cloaks and hats earlier, putting her cap on and giving Coco her own pair of accessories.
“What are you doing, Agott?!” One of her relatives shouts.
“Get your ears checked at the healing spire, please.” She says, voice monotone and controlled compared to mere moments earlier. “I said that if you said one more word about the love of my life, we would be leaving. Didn't you hear?”
Clasping her cloak in place, she hears someone else scoff.
“You're going to throw away your family over this?”
She turns to face all of them and, with a polite smile, replies: “I finally realized I never needed your opinions about my life as much as I thought.”
Angus looks at her incredulously. “This is what we're worried about! She's changed you. You didn't use to be like this.”
Agott laughs at that. “You mean when I was ten? When you and many of the people standing here deemed that I wasn't enough to carry the legacy I dreamed so much about? And I had to move away because only one teacher would accept the disgraced Arklaum heir under his wing?” Angus looks away in shame. “But you know, you're right about something. Coco did change me.” He looks at her again, almost with hope. “She changed me for the better and made me realize I didn't need to become someone I wasn't just to make miserable people like you comfortable.”
“Don't be ridiculous, Agott.” He tries as Agott is taking Coco's hand, who is still holding her cloak and cap along with the bouquet she didn't get to give in one arm. She gives Coco a reassuring smile as she pulls her up and, without tearing her eyes away, speaks to the audience watching them.
“Maybe if you all pulled that stick that you have up your asses, you might finally understand why she makes me so fucking happy.”
The slam of the door to the antechamber is loud and echoes. The commotion can still be vaguely heard through the walls, although it's impossible to distinguish a word that they say.
Agott takes a deep breath, the distance and the feeling of finally being away from them washing over her. She feels almost dizzy, legs trembling.
She leans her hands on the guardrail, hoping it will steady her. She can hear other patrons and the workers from the restaurant on the floor below, maybe questioning the loud sound that came from the slam of the door.
She hears footsteps near the stairs and prepares herself to apologize to the innocent worker who will need to deal with the mess, but she is surprised to see a familiar face coming up the stairs, long curly hair and posture perfect as ever.
Adina stares at her daughter for a moment, one eyebrow raised, before continuing her trek up the stairs while Agott takes another deep breath, not ready to deal with whatever her mother may throw at her after all the bullshit she just experienced.
“Coco.” She greets her daughter-in-law first, a cordial nod. Coco, in turn, gives her a smile that Agott can see hides the hurt she just experienced.
“Good evening, ma’am.” She nods back before gasping and taking the bouquet, now a bit crumpled and missing petals, and presenting it to her. “This– Well, it was a gift for you.”
Her mother stares at it before taking it in her hands and laying it on the crook of her arm. “Thank you, I appreciate it.” Piercing dark violet eyes turn to Agott. “Agott–”
“Not now.” Agott cuts her off, taking another deep breath to calm her ire. She doesn’t mean to be rude, but how else is she supposed to react after what happened in there?
Adina raises an eyebrow again before her eyes fall on the door that separates both rooms, hearing the raised voices she can’t discern. “What happened?”
At that, Agott lets out a humorless laugh. “You can go inside and ask them yourself.”
“I am asking you.”
The statement makes her eyes widen, finally turning to face the woman directly, pushing herself away from the rail, violet pools staring at each other. From the corner of her eye, she can see Coco taking a step back and looking between both women.
“They invited me tonight.”
“I gathered that.”
“I thought this was going to be another flimsy attempt to convince me to take up a position as a librarian at the Tower.”
Adina’s expression barely changes. “I thought so.”
“Apparently, I was deeply mistaken.” That seemingly gets Adina’s attention, her eyes widening ever so slightly.
“What did they say?”
Agott scoffed, crossing her arms and looking away. “Does it even matter now?”
“Yes.”
The short answer takes Agott by surprise, and for a moment, she feels weary. “...Why?” Her voice is almost small. Adina opens her mouth but closes it, not saying anything for a moment before finally replying.
“Because you’re angry.”
“Very observant as always.” Agott rolls her eyes.
“Agott.” The use of her name is enough to make Agott sigh, realizing she is being petty.
At that, Coco finally speaks up. “They… Were saying some things about me.”
Adina turns to her. “What things?”
The question makes Coco hesitate, but Agott doesn’t. “That she doesn’t understand our world.” Her mother’s expression hardens ever so slightly. “That I am going to ruin the family’s reputation if I stay with her, that she is supposedly holding me back from greatness.”
Adina turns to look toward the room, and Agott notices.
“Don’t worry, Mother, it gets better!” She says sarcastically. She feels Coco put a hand on her arm, not to stop her but to tell her she is there. “They said Coco wasn’t my equal and that I need someone who understands where I come from!”
Adina goes still at her words.
She is silent for several moments, Agott anticipating whatever she will say next with bated breath.
“Who?” Is the single word that breaks the silence.
Agott blinks, almost unsure if she heard it correctly. “What?”
“Who said it?”
Agott almost laughs. “Does it matter?”
“Yes.”
There is something different in her mother’s voice. She isn’t any louder, but it feels like she is putting more effort than usual to control it.
Agott studies her. “Why?” Her voice is breathy, in disbelief at her mother’s reaction.
In turn, instead of answering her question, Adina turns to Coco. “They said those things in front of you?”
Coco nods, and Agott watches as her mother’s eyes narrow even further. She is silent again, not looking particularly at any of them. Agott puts a hand on Coco’s, expecting whatever the next words will be.
“I see.”
Agott immediately feels frustration rise in her chest.
“That’s it? That’s all you have to say after we told you all of that?!” Her voice is raised again, her heartbeat racing again.
Adina raises an eyebrow, meeting her gaze. “What would you like me to say, then?”
Agott stutters, racking her brain for an answer before giving up. “I don’t know!”
“Then don’t demand it.” Agott breathes out through her nose loudly, looking away while she contains the urge to roll her eyes. “I was late because I ran into some last-minute business at the Tower.”
Agott frowns. “I know, they told us that.”
“I was told by Angus there would be a discussion regarding your future.”
The young Arklaum’s expression darkens. “Oh?! So you knew about this?!”
Adina seems to realize how she sounds. “Not this. I knew they intended to speak to you about the position. I did not know they intended to ambush you or Coco.”
The three of them are silent as Agott tries to calm her racing heart. Her mother wasn’t a liar; she knew that, so she deeply wanted to believe her, that she wasn’t an accessory to the scheme that happened that night.
Finally, with one long and calming breath, she asks the question she’s been carrying since she saw her mother. “Do you agree with them?”
“Which part?”
Agott is tired. “You know which part.”
Adina glances at Coco, who is avoiding her gaze, looking at her feet, clearly uncomfortable.
“I…” Adina starts. “I think your relationship has affected your decisions.” Agott threatens to take a step forward, withdrawing Coco’s hand, her expression hardening. “That isn’t an accusation, Agott.”
“It certainly sounds like one.” She scoffs.
“What I mean to say is that every important relationship affects our decisions.” The librarian looks at Coco. “That is what makes them important.”
Agott stares at her, not sure where this conversation is headed.
“I genuinely do not believe that Coco has prevented you from pursuing anything. If anything, you’ve become more willing to decide what you actually want.”
The couple stares at her, almost in disbelief at the words.
She continues. “There was a time I would have maybe agreed with some of their concerns.”
Agott rolls her eyes. “That is not comforting.”
“I was not trying to comfort you; I am telling you the truth.” That sounds more like the Adina she knows. She looks away, staring out the window of the room. “I thought you were making decisions too quickly, that you were allowing yourself to be distracted by pursuing a relationship at such a crucial moment in a witch’s life.”
Coco shifts uncomfortably in place while Agott looks down.
“I was wrong.”
Silence follows those words, both Agott and Coco staring at her like the older witch has grown a second head.
She seems almost uncomfortable saying it, clearing her throat and continuing. “Not because I was personally persuaded, but because I watched and because I listened.”
Agott feels the need to pinch herself to make sure she didn’t hit her head at some moment during this conversation.
“You– You weren’t exactly kind to Coco when we were children.” She feels the need to say, trying to drag whatever her mother might be hiding.
“No, I wasn’t.” No excuses.
“You didn’t think she belonged.”
She sighs, “As I said, there was a moment I would’ve agreed with what they said.”
“And now?”
Adina looks at her daughter before looking at Coco. “Now I believe I was wrong about a great many things.”
“That must be very difficult for you to admit,” Agott says, having to hold back a rebellious smile.
Adina gives her a stern look. “Do not become insufferable.”
And despite the look and the words, Agott can't help but feel a small moment of relief.
She watches as her mother turns back and stares daggers at the door before letting out an almost tired sigh. “Are you leaving?”
“Yes.”
“Good.”
Agott blinks in disbelief at that. “Good?”
“You're angry, so you're unlikely to improve the situation in this state. Go home; I'll deal with them.”
“You don't have to.” Despite her reservations about her mother, which she is unsure will ever be fully resolved, Agott knows this isn't her fight.
“I know I don't.” There's something about her mother's attitude that makes Agott's stomach move strangely.
“You–” Coco starts, her voice small. “You don't have to defend me, ma'am. They're your family–”
“I'm not doing that.” Coco stares at her, tilting her head in confusion. “I'm correcting them; it's my duty as head of the Arklaum house. I have no intention of allowing them to say such foolish things without consequences.”
Agott doesn't know how to answer that, so she just gives her mother a small nod and turns to Coco, helping her put her cloak on. Once the clasp is secure, she grabs her hand and starts to walk away.
When they're a couple of steps down, she hears Adina's voice.
“Agott.” She and Coco turn to the woman, who has a hand on the doorknob, not looking directly at them. “I won't ask you to stay, and I won't ask you to change your mind.” She pauses before continuing. “Either of you. I'll make sure they understand that as well.”
Agott has no time to react because Adina pushes the door open, the discussion briefly escaping before the door is closed again.
She grips Coco's hand a bit tighter. “Are you okay?”
Coco doesn't answer her at first, being silent for a couple of moments. “I'm fine.”
Her voice is flat and monotone, making Agott worry. But she chalks it up to her still being affected by the emotions of the evening.
So she gives her an affirmative sound before they start their descent down the stairs and finally out of the restaurant, ready to come back home.
— • — • —
Agott’s apartment in the great hall was quiet. Too quiet even.
It wasn’t unusual for quiet to rule when Coco wasn’t spending the nights over. Agott liked the quiet; it made thinking easier. But when Coco was around, she started to despise the quiet of her home, so used to hearing her girlfriend in another room doing whatever, the noise of the turning of pages as she studied, the laughter they shared in between cuddling and kissing.
But now the silence ruled again even though Coco was around.
Agott had noticed almost immediately after they came home. Coco had barely spoken during the walk back, but when she did, her answers were short short enough that Agott could count each word in them in one hand.
Now Coco was sitting on the edge of their bed, already in her sleepwear as she removed her glasses and put them on the bedside table.
Agott watched her from the doorway, also in her pajamas.
“You’re awfully quiet.” She said, and Coco glanced at her.
“I’m tired.” Two words.
“That’s not what I asked, Coco.”
Coco looked away. “I’m fine, Agott.”
Three words. She frowned.
“You’ve said that three times tonight.
“Because I am.”
Agott rolled her eyes. “You used to be better at lying than this.”
Coco sighed loudly and tore her gaze away from Agott, opening a drawer of the bedside table and not particularly taking anything out.
Agott crossed the room and sat beside her in bed. For a moment neither of them spoke, Coco’s hands closing the drawer and resting on her lap. Usually by now, she would’ve leaned against Agott, maybe rested her head on her shoulder or taken her hand. Or found any excuse to be touching her.
Tonight, there was nothing. So Agott reached for her hand.
Coco hesitated for a moment before letting her take it. The tiny hesitation hurt more than Agott would admit.
“Coco.” She said, her voice breaking the silence. In turn, Coco made an inquisitive but quiet sound, her face still staring at a random corner of the room. “Look at me, please.”
She did, and now up close, Agott could see that Coco’s usual bright golden gaze seemed almost muted and glassy.
“Did something happen after we left?” Coco shook her head. “Did I do something?”
Her girlfriend’s eyes widened. “No!”
“Then what is it?”
She opened her mouth to say something but closed it almost immediately.
“This is about the dinner, am I right?” She watched Coco gulp, biting her lip, irises looking away for just a moment. “We can talk about it, Coco.” Agott usually wouldn’t be eager to bring the drama that happened hours ago into her home, ruining the sanctity of the space she and Coco shared. But if Coco had something in her mind about it, she would gladly do it.
“It doesn’t matter anymore, Agott,” Coco answered.
“It matters to me, Coco.”
Coco sighed, looking away again before giving a small but humorless smile. “Maybe– Maybe they’re right.
Agott’s expression hardened. “About what?”
Coco’s eyes found their joined hands. “That I don’t belong.”
“Coco–” Agott didn’t mean to sound irritated.
“I know what you’re going to say.”
“Then you should know better than to say something that stupid.”
Coco laughed weakly, but it quickly faded. “I just– I don’t want to be the reason to tear you away from your family.”
Agott stared at her for several moments before letting out an answer in pure disbelief: “What?!”
“They’re your family, Agott.”
“So?”
“So you shouldn’t have to choose between them and me.”
Agott squeezed her hand. “I already chose, and I would make the same choice again and again if needed.”
Coco shook her head. “In a perfect world you shouldn’t have to.”
“Well, in a perfect world they wouldn’t think and say those things.”
“Agott–”
“No. Listen to me now.” Coco snapped her gaze towards her as Agott shifted closer to her in bed. “You keep talking as though being with you is something bad when it’s the furthest thing from it. I need you to understand that I am not losing anyone because of you.”
“But you said–”
“I said that they could accept you or learn to live without me.”
“Exactly.”
Agott sighed, “That was their choice.”
“Because you gave them an ultimatum.”
“They did it to me first. Plus, I only did it because they were being horrible to you.”
Coco’s eyes filled with tears. “I– I just don’t want you to regret it–”
“I don’t, and I won’t.”
“You can’t know that.”
“But I do.” Her voice softened. “You make me so damn happy, Coco. That’s all that matters.”
Coco’s lips trembled. “But your family–”
“My family doesn’t get to decide what makes me happy or not.”
Coco looked down again. “But– What if one day I don’t fit in your life–”
Agott immediately interrupted her. “You do.”
Coco shook her head. “Agott–
“You do.” She repeated herself.
“I’m saying, if one day you decide–”
“I won’t.” Her voice was firm, but there was a tinge of annoyance in it.
“You don’t know that.”
“I know myself, Coco.” Agott moved even closer, their knees bumping into each other now. “And I know that I’ve spent most of my life trying to become what they thought I should’ve been. I know exactly what it feels like to have someone else’s idea of who you’re supposed to be shoved down your throat.” She gently grabbed Coco’s chin between her fingers, lifting and guiding so their eyes would meet. “I am not going to do that to you. You don't have to make yourself smaller so you can fit neatly beside everything I already have.”
Coco’s eyes glistened even more with unshed tears. “Why do you keep fighting for me?”
“Because you’re worth fighting every battle for.” She didn’t hesitate.
Coco tried and failed to blink away the tears, staring at Agott for a long moment. “You shouldn’t have to fight everyone because of me.”
“I don’t.” The thumb holding her chin travelled upwards, brushing beneath Coco’s eyes. “I fight them because they’re wrong and because I’m not ashamed of loving you.” Agott watched as a tear slipped down Coco’s cheek, her fingerpad brushing it away as Coco closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. Agott leaned forward, resting her forehead against her girlfriend’s. “I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you.” She heard Coco’s breath catch, despite it not being the first time they had shared similar sentiments. “And I do not care in the slightest how many people think that makes me foolish.”
She pulled her face away, both of her hands taking Coco’s. “Coco, you keep talking about how ‘they’re my family’. But in life, you don’t get to choose who your family is. Not your parents, your siblings, aunts or uncles. It’s all predetermined by life, and because of blood, you can never sever yourself permanently from them.”
“That’s what I’m saying–” Agott silenced her quickly with a finger to her lips.
“You can’t choose any of those, but you can choose one.” She lowered her hand and intertwined their fingers again. “You choose who will be with you, love you, and who you will love back just as much. You can choose that.” Her voice and expression softened. “And I choose you, Coco. You’re my family just as much as they are, if not more. And that’s why I choose the part of my family that truly makes me happy.”
Coco’s eyes filled again, her mouth going agape but no words coming out.
Agott continued. “I chose you for things that my bloodline will never understand fully, and I don’t want them to.” She gave her a small smile. “I just want them to respect me and, most importantly, respect you.”
Coco looked at her through the tears. “I don’t know if I can be as strong as you.”
“You don’t have to.”
“But– They made me feel–” She struggled to find the words for a moment. “...small.”
Agott’s heart squeezed in pain. “Oh, Coco…” She reached up and cupped her face. “Don’t let them do that to you.”
“It’s difficult.” She looked away.
“I know.”
“I keep thinking that maybe they’re right, that maybe you are too good for me.”
“Absolutely not.” Agott pouted, her eyebrows coming together in a frown. In response to it, Coco gave her a tiny but watery laugh.
“You say that so quickly.”
“Because it’s ridiculous. You say that I’m too good for you? Have you seen yourself?” She gently turned Coco’s face back toward her. “You’re beautiful.” Coco’s cheeks flushed, Agott feeling the heat spread under her hand. “You are so beautiful, even when you’re saying the most ridiculous shit that makes me want to open your mind and take those thoughts out of there myself. And most importantly, you’re strong.”
“I’m not feeling very strong right now.”
“You don’t have to feel it; you just have to believe me.”
Coco looked down while Agott waited, before Coco tried to look away. Agott immediately brought her other hand up as backup to still Coco in place.
“I’m not letting you hide from this,” Agott said, a determined look in her eyes. When Coco looked at her in confusion, she continued. “I’m not letting you go until you say it out loud. You’re beautiful and strong; you deserve to believe it.”
Coco stared at her, feeling embarrassed for several moments. Then, barely above a whisper: “I’m… beautiful and strong.”
Agott smiled. “Again.”
“Agott!” She chastised her with an embarrassed laugh, trying to pull away, but Agott didn’t relent. Finally, she gave in, her voice a bit more confident this time. “I’m beautiful and strong.”
“Good.” Agott let go of her face and pulled her into her arms, Coco finally melting against her, burying her face against the crook of her shoulder. “It’s you and me against the world.”
She felt Coco smile against her shoulder, whispering against her sleepshirt: “They’ll never approve of me and you.”
“Then they can live with that.” She pulled Coco back enough to look at her. “We don’t need their approval. I love every whimsical, odd, and wild part of you. They can keep their cold perfection for themselves.”
Coco laughed. “You really did hate that dinner.”
“I hated them making you cry more.”
Her smile faded slightly. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize, please.”
Coco looked at her, unsure of what to say next. “I just–” She paused, racking her brain for an answer before settling on something simple but meaningful. “I love you.”
“I know.” Agott smiled, understanding what she meant.
“I really love you.” She repeated, and Agott let out a giggle.
“I know that as well.
Coco smiled, wiping away the tears that were in her eyes from earlier. “Can I kiss you?”
Agott felt her heart start beating a little faster, her expression softening as she gave Coco a cheeky smile. “Since when do you need to ask for that?”
She shrugged. “Thought I’d try something new.”
A loud laugh escaped from Agott before she wrapped her arms around her girlfriend’s shoulders. “Come here.”
Coco giggled like a teenage girl, shifting impossibly closer and wrapping her arms around Agott’s waist. The shorter witch leaned in, before pausing just before their lips met.
“I really love you, too.” She whispered, making Coco smile before closing the distance between them. For the first time since dinner, Coco reached for her first, Agott holding her close.
And neither of them let go.