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Did you know? The stars that decorate the sky endlessly are closer to an illusion than reality. Of course, stars exist, but their presence isn’t a guaranteed reality. Rather, they are afterimages—memories of a fiercely burning force of vitality and warmth.
Kim Soleum had always been fascinated by this fact. He spent long nights staring at the stars from above the sea surface. He knew it was a world he could never reach as a mermaid, bound to the sea for eternity.
He had a peaceful life in the sea, so he didn’t dare ask for any more than that. He told himself that he was satisfied with just gazing at the star-filled night sky. Of course, it’s not like that world of mysterious lights could be reached even if he became determined tonight. Still, he liked to imagine what it would be like. He visualised himself swimming above the sea, into the night sky, the misty clouds whisked away from the swishing of his tail just like the sea waves did. Then he would enter the freezing cold space to swim in a vast emptiness, realising that the stars that seemed so clustered together only became farther and farther apart as he approached them. He would follow a star’s distant light—its promise of warmth and beauty—only to be met with a chilling emptiness upon reaching it.
After all, the stars were a lie. Something that could not be trusted. An illusion. Something to only savour from a distance.
That’s exactly what Kim Soleum remembered when he stepped foot on a sandy beach for the first time in his life. The sand granules shifted awkwardly between his toes. The sun cast rays ahead of him, as if showing him the path to the very reason he became human in the first place.
Actually, there was one thing Kim Soleum was fascinated by more than the stars. Something he thought shined brighter than any star.
That was Agent Choi.
A dutiful agent who risked his life every day. Living as far away from safety as possible for the sake of saving one more person. Kim Soleum had caught glances of him from underneath the sea surface many times during his rescue missions. It seemed like his team was primarily assigned shipwreck rescues because he was based near the coast.
One night, Kim Soleum was laying atop a rock on the seafloor, daydreaming about the agent’s recent rescue, when a certain formidable creature approached him. It was the sea witch Cheong Dallae. All mermaids understood that one should not talk to the sea witch, for she will trap you in a scheme to bind your soul to her. He pursed his mouth shut, waiting for her to give up and leave. As long as he didn’t agree to any requests or accept any favours, he was safe.
“A smart one, aren’t you?” she grinned slyly, with a glint in her eyes like a predator spotting the perfect prey.
He held his breath, staring at the shadow of her intimidating, eight-tentacled figure. If he faced her head on, he wouldn’t be able to stop his body from trembling.
One of her tentacle arms brushed his hair away from his forehead, while another took hold of his chin and positioned his face directly in her line of sight. He had no choice but to look into her cold, vicious eyes as chills ran from the standing hairs at the back of his neck to the bottom of his spine. His lips quivered.
“You want to be human, don’t you?” she teased.
Kim Soleum froze.
“If you’re really smart, you’ll listen to what I have to say.”
No one should ever accept help from the sea witch, but desire won over rationality. He nodded hesitantly as Cheong Dallae handed him a contract. He knew it was surely a curse. He knew that, but his hand still reached for the contract, but not before a bad feeling crept into his heart.
Three days. He could be human for three days, like a trial period, and then he could come back or remain human. The catch was, he would only remain human if he sealed his form with a true love’s kiss. When his eyes reached that section of the contract’s terms, he could feel heat rising to the back of his neck and ears. That was just ridiculous. That, with the agent?
Of course it wasn’t possible. The agent doesn’t even know him. If he was lucky enough to meet the agent in his human form, that would be enough. Then, he could safely return home.
Kim Soleum, caught completely off guard by the preposterous idea of kissing the agent, overlooked the fine print at the bottom of the contract. He hastily signed it with curiosity and delusion clouding his judgement. The contract promptly vanished before he could give it a second glance. His body froze as his mind caught up with his reckless decisions. There were no traces of Cheong Dallae left except for the quill in his hand that served as proof of how he had just scratched his name into their written agreement.
That night, he couldn’t sleep, restless about what was to come. He couldn’t tell if he felt more fear or excitement. As soon as he caught peaks of sunlight dancing on the sea surface, he sped toward the surface, tail crashing against the weight of the water. Suddenly, he noticed how water surrounded him like a neverending net, so much so that he would never be able to kick it away no matter how many times he swung his tail. His heart pounded out of his chest as he caught sight of the sea shore growing closer and closer.
He crawled onto the shore, his fingers kneading into the wet sand as he made his way to the nearest boulder, panting. He stared at the beach, making out the line that marked how the tide only reached so far onto land. Beyond that, the sand lay dry, untouched by the world of the sea. He felt his stomach drop. Suddenly, a barrier had been made explicit, telling him that he was crossing a point that he should have never been able to cross. It was forbidden territory, especially for a mermaid. Taboo.
But he reached for it—like reaching into a dream made tangible, and dug his fingers into the dry sand for the very first time. It felt wrong. The sand wasn’t soft like he was used to. Instead, it was fine like powder with sharp pebbles hidden inside, scratching his hands like a cruel truth about the world he was about to step into. Finally raising his entire body into the sandy beach, every cell in his body began screaming for water. The sand was hot, almost scalding from the heat of the now fully risen sun. The scales that once covered his skin shed off like dry skin, peeling grotesquely as his arms scraped against the ground, leaving scratches like something clawing into his arms to restrain him. His tail began to split in two, like being forcefully torn apart. He wanted to scream, but he was too out of breath, only managing to whimper in pain as spurts of his blood wet the sand in the water’s stead.
He had never experienced such intense pain in his life. His forehead and the back of his neck became covered in cold sweat despite the sun’s blazing heat, and he felt all his energy drain from his body, replaced only by nausea and dizziness. His vision went black.
Kim Soleum had no recollection of when exactly he passed out, but when he woke up, he saw his body covered in a warm, white thick cloth with two feet sticking out from the bottom where his tail should have been. He stared at the gap in the cloth between his two legs, nausea rising from the depths of his stomach once again. Yesterday, he had been naively eager about the fantasy of becoming a human, but the reality felt far more horrific, as if a limb had been cruelly torn from his body.
He was too disoriented to question his surroundings, overwhelmed by the dread over the loss of his tail. What broke him out of that state of mind was a beautiful sound. It was the first time he had ever heard such a delicate sound. He glanced to his right, and caught sight of something that looked like stars shining into glass fragments hung on strings. They danced in the wind, catching the sunlight in sparkles and twinkles just like the stars in the night sky. He forgot his pain, suddenly captivated by the strange device.
“What, never seen a wind chime before?” A deep voice sounded as a tall figure entered the room.
Kim Soleum couldn’t believe his ears. That voice could only be…
“Let me introduce myself,” the man approached him. “You can call me Agent Choi.” He extended an open hand with a friendly smile and scanning eyes.
Kim Soleum opened his mouth to speak, but his throat tightened and his heart dropped as he grasped for his neck, almost choking. Realisation dawned on him, much too late, that he had signed a contract with a wicked and twisted creature.
* * *
The agent’s brows furrowed slightly. He reached for the hand Kim Soleum had placed on his own neck, but the young man swiftly hid his hand behind his back, suddenly acting as if the moments of panic were a lie. The mysterious young man simply smiled shyly in response. After a moment of awkward silence filling the air, the young man’s eyes lit up as if struck with a brilliant idea.
He reached for the agent’s hand and pulled out his pointer finger, dragging it across the palm of his own hand that suddenly seemed small compared to the large finger. At first, the young man squirmed a bit. It seemed like his palm was a bit ticklish, but he fought through his own wincing and diligently drew lines across his palm with the agent’s finger. The agent couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle, thinking it was cute as a passing thought. After three patterns were completed, the agent quickly deduced that they were three Korean characters: Kim Sol-eum. A name. He smiled back at the stranger in understanding.
“Nice to meet you, Kim Soleum-ssi.”
* * *
The agent enunciated his name with care, like a gentle touch of a feather tickling the bottom of his stomach and sprouting butterflies. Kim Soleum felt heat rise to his face, suddenly remembering the ridiculous details of the contract. About the “kiss.”
Upon seeing the agent up close and hearing his deep, amber-honey voice at such a short, intimate distance, and feeling his hands—calloused and scarred as evidence from years of admirable work—gliding across his own skin, still sensitive from shedding his scales, he could no longer deny it. Kim Soleum was in love with the agent. Somewhere within the deep depths of his heart, he had dared to wish to reach for the world where the agent resided and have it sealed through a kiss. The thumping in his ears from his overactive and eager heart was undeniable. He swung the cloth over his head in a useless attempt to hide from his own heart.
There was no way such a respectable agent would fall in love with a man like him—a non-human creature. He had to remember his reality. He was a mermaid, given a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to meet someone he originally would have never crossed paths with. His mermaid form was something to never be discovered, and he was never something to be loved—not here, not by him.
Under the comforting weight of the blanket, Kim Soleum remembered the sea. He missed the feeling of the water pressure pushing against his body. Was it the right choice to come here? Endless doubts ran through his mind, but they all stopped with one reminder to himself.
‘That’s right, this is all a dream,’ he thought. Of course, it is not a dream in the sense that it is not real. Rather, it is like the illusions left by the stars that have already waned away all their power. Agent Choi, and the three days he would spend in his world, were no different from how he gazed at those stars, with no reassurance that they would still be there if he visited them in person.
This is a fantasy that he only got to indulge in from afar. From his reality underneath the sea surface, where he belonged. Where his home was. Where he needed to return to.
Only for a brief while will he remain here. After that, he would bid this fascinating world goodbye, like he was going to from the start.
After all, a kiss from Agent Choi? That was just impossible. Now that his mind was clear from delusion, he could laugh at himself for even getting flustered at that possibility. There was no way Agent Choi would show interest in someone like him, let alone fall for him in just three days.
With that resolve, Kim Soleum released himself from the cloth’s comfort and faced the agent. He opened his mouth again, by habit, but his mouth only wobbled as he remembered that he couldn’t speak at the moment.
Luckily, Agent Choi caught onto his situation already.
“Don’t worry, Soleum-ssi, you can stay with me until you recover,” Agent Choi said, lifting only the corner of the blanket, “Is it okay if I…”
Kim Soleum quickly nodded his head up and down.
Agent Choi lifted the rest of the blanket, studying the legs that were propped up on the bed, fully treated and bandaged.
“You had some odd wounds…” Agent Choi trailed off, hoping for any clues about the information he was missing, but was met with an averted gaze. He hummed in suspicion, but ultimately dropped the topic.
The next thing Kim Soleum did was shift his legs to the edge of the bed. His center of gravity felt completely off. He attempted to stand up, both legs at once like he would move his tail, but his legs wobbled, and caught onto a protruding wooden plank, causing him to tumble over with the sound of a large creak. He was saved from hitting the wooden floor by the agent’s fast reflexes. He gasped and mouthed an apology to the agent on instinct, holding onto his shoulders as he learned how to walk on two legs, alternating his weight one leg at a time. He began walking without the support, albeit clumsily.
* * *
Agent Choi, observant as he was, knew Kim Soleum was never human. He picked up on countless details: the way he stumbled as he walked—like learning to balance for the first time, the tender muscles of his legs as if barely used, and the way his eyes sparkled at common sights like a child entering a new world. At first, he thought Kim Soleum was just a foreigner, but he knew the language well even without speaking it, and sometimes he caught the mysterious young man mouthing words only for his eyes to suddenly widen. A reaction more fitting for someone who had suddenly gone mute, not someone mute their whole life. Not to mention, he was mouthing the words perfectly, so perfectly that Agent Choi wondered if his ears had stopped working. He doesn’t know when he began imagining what kind of voice could be hiding behind those lips.
He wanted to hear his voice. He became convinced that there was something strange about the situation. Was it because he longed to hear that voice so much? So much that he wished for there to be another explanation? A possible solution—an answer that would grant his ears the gift of Kim Soleum's voice.
He was determined. It was the evening of the third day, and Agent Choi suddenly felt uneasy. His subtle investigation turned into outright interrogation, grabbing Kim Soleum by the shoulders as he only looked up at him with sorrowful eyes, as if looking at an afterimage—like Choi wasn't standing right before him, like he was only a memory that lingered.
Agent Choi let go. The hands that clung to Kim Soleum's shoulders loosened, and he broke free. A gut feeling told the agent that this was the last time they would meet.
Kim Soleum walked away slowly, not looking back. The sun dragged his shadow's length behind him, as if reaching for the agent. He knew that if he looked back, if he caught a glimpse of those intoxicating eyes, his resolve would falter. He would go running back, chasing the temptations of a new blue world in his eyes that felt larger than that of the sea. He would tell the agent he loved him, throwing away all his anxieties about unrequited feelings. He would open his heart to him like an exposed wound unafraid of stinging and burning—ready to risk the pain with a leap of faith.
But he faced the seawater instead, tasting the familiar saltiness in the breeze. Kim Soleum could feel the Agent's unmoving gaze at the back of his head from far behind him. 'It would be ok to let him know this much, right?' he thought, bittersweetly, dipping his legs into the shallow waters. Even if the Agent was appalled by the natural fish-like tail that slowly emerged from his body, even if he felt betrayed that he wasn't really human, he thought he could bear it—protected by the unwanted promise that they would never meet again. That he would never know the answer to how Agent Choi's face might twist into an unsightly expression upon learning the truth.
None of that mattered.
It was time to return home.
Bubbles rose, slowly nearing the shore. It was Cheong Dallae.
"Was it fun?" she asked in a mocking voice, laughing at the mermaid that didn't even try to make the Agent fall in love with him.
Kim Soleum simply nodded. He prepared himself to return home from the moment he first stepped foot on the hot sand. The radiant sun beaming that morning as if teasing him with the tantalizing possibility of what could-have-been.
This was all within his expectations.
He lowered himself into the sea, and the familiar motions of his tail left a bitter taste in his mouth, but it was all okay. He had a home to return to. Abandoning that life for a dream would be unreasonable.
And so he dove back into the sea.
What he didn't expect was for Agent Choi to jump into the water and embrace his slimy, scaly body.
"What are you doing here?!" Kim Soleum was startled, worried that the human may face a fate worse than death before the sea witch. Sweat beaded down the back of his neck as he rushed to push the agent away, but his slippery, mermaid body remained in his tight grasp.
"So that's what it sounded like..." Agent Choi trailed off, his gaze lost in Kim Soleum's eyes that were the same deep red as the sunset kissing the horizon behind him. "It's beautiful," he thought aloud, not only about Kim Soleum's voice, or his eyes, but also about the way his wet hair stuck to the top of his forehead in tiny curves, and the way his scales were glistening from underneath the water.
Agent Choi already knew Kim Soleum was not a being from his world. He knew it was wrong to hold onto him any longer. It was out of reach from the very start. But a voice from the depths of his heart screamed for more, and before he knew it, he was knee-deep in the sea with Kim Soleum in his arms and no excuse.
"I have to go home. I can't stay here."
Kim Soleum pleaded, trying to shake away the agent despite his larger frame.
Agent Choi wanted to ask so many questions. He wanted to beg him to stay just one more night, but the answers would be no. So, he asked for a promise about the future.
"Will you come back?"
At that, Kim Soleum's eyes shone with tears that clung to the corner of his eyes. He wished that he could say yes. He wished that he could promise a certainty of any kind of future they could have together, even if it had to be as a mermaid and human, but it was not up to him. And he knows, there was no way Cheong Dallae—or even the gods of the sea—would approve of such a promise.
The sun was already setting, and soon the two of them would become strangers once more.
Cheong Dallae let out an annoyed sigh.
"Time is up."
Kim Soleum turned his head downward, avoiding Agent Choi's longing gaze.
And the two parted.
But just as Agent Choi was finally about to turn around, he heard the hissing of mist, and saw Kim Soleum's beautiful body at the source, enveloped in an ominous fog. The mermaid's body was disappearing, melting into clouds that oozed seafoam. He called out Kim Soleum's name but heard nothing in return.
“What did you do to him?!” he shouted at the sea witch in an accusatory tone, as if blaming her could be enough to fix everything wrong right now.
She simply grinned. "It was part of our contract. His life is mine forever if he fails."
The agent paused. "Fails what...?"
At the sight of the agent who had grown timid, the sea witch laughed in amusement. "Oh, to steal your heart, of course. It seems like he didn't even give it a shot, poor thing," she spoke as if she were sympathizing with an abandoned kitten.
Agent Choi froze. Anxiety welled in his mind, festering like weeds that only sprouted more worries the more he yanked them out. Kim Soleum had captured his heart from the very beginning, so, did that just make everything his own fault? The beautiful mermaid bestowed onto him by the heavens was turning into seafoam—dying—because he failed to return his feelings. It was all his fault.
He had to save him.
He had to make it right.
* * *
Agent Choi is an agent before he is human.
People call him a hero, a brave man who can defeat any enemy, but the truth is, he can't save everyone. He is plagued by memories of civilians who have died in front of him—people within his reach, people who he should have been able to save. To the agent, every human life within his sight is worth saving. If he so much as dared to prioritize his own life—to choose being human over an agent—did that not mean making someone else die in his place?
That is why he decided to put his life on the line. Always. No matter how much that line may feel like an unraveling tightrope ready to snap at any moment.
That is why he would not give up on Kim Soleum. "Human" or not, he had shown him his humanity, his capability to love and care for others—for him.
That is why, as the seafoam helplessly slipped through his fingers, blending into the ocean waves as if it never held the form of a person in the first place, Agent Choi continued to fight for Kim Soleum's life. So long as there was a sliver of hope, he wouldn't give up. It was all the more important for Agent Choi to hold onto this resolve, this will to live, while Kim Soleum's form had been reduced to a state where he could not hold onto those feelings for himself.
Before Agent Choi trusted his own emotions to act for him, he leaned back into his agent instincts. The first step to save a civilian was to observe the situation. He had already deduced that the sea witch placed a curse on Kim Soleum, and that curse would be irreversible by the time the sun finished setting. It was an inference based on the sea witch's appearance during sunset. She must have felt secure enough to show herself because everything was already accounted for.
But what she didn't account for was that Agent Choi was no ordinary agent. He would never abandon his mission when a situation got tough. Even in a fight he can't win, he won't falter. Like a cornered mouse that bites back at a cat; even if his death is certain, he will protect Kim Soleum as long as he is still standing.
And so, he grit his teeth before the looming figure of the sea witch, her shadow engulfing his body as the seafoam swirled around his feet. The ocean waves pushed and pulled around his legs like a ticking clock, counting down the seconds as the mass of seafoam dissolved into the seawater. He could feel Kim Soleum's spirit fading away as the seafoam that once pooled around his legs drifted away mindlessly toward the formidable figure as if by magnetic pull. The sight of the seafoam becoming one with the sea witch made his mind go blank, and before acting as an agent, he acted human—desperate.
He scrambled through his pockets and poured glass beads onto the seafoam, hoping to capture any of it, but the glass simply drifted to the bottom of the shore, settling into the cracks and crevices between the rocks, holding still like the agent's breath.
The glass beads already stopped registering the seafoam as a lifeform.
Choi didn't want to think the unthinkable.
The sea witch sneered at his futile attempt to save the mermaid. She was getting irritated at the pitiful show and began absorbing the seafoam more rapidly.
Choi tried to cup the seafoam in his hands, but in the back of his mind, he knew that it was now just seawater. His fingers pressed against one other tightly, begging the droplets to stop slipping between the gaps. He needed to keep it from becoming one with the vast sea—from being controlled by the sea witch's will like a mindless pawn.
So he did the last thing he could think of.
He drank it.
He cupped as much of the seafoam that willed to remain in his grasp and drank it.
To protect it.
He endured the burning sensation that reached his lungs and the drying and tightening of his throat as he swallowed the seawater along with it. After his third gulp, he coughed up blood. For an unknown reason, the seafoam mixed well with his blood, as if drawn to it by some weak current—a vague will. Choi didn’t have a spare thought to think about why. He was only thankful that it made the seafoam easier to spot. He kept drinking it, along with his own blood, until he was gagging.
The mysterious current that drew the seafoam and blood together quickened in pace, gathering together to form a silhouette. A mermaid.
Kim Soleum was in front of him. Again. Alive. Gasping for air and coughing out blood that could have been his or the agent’s. It didn't matter. He pulled him into an embrace.
What the both of them didn’t know was that the gods of the sea had considered the union of the agent's blood and saliva with the mermaid's seafoam ‘body’ an acceptable form of a ‘kiss.’ The last glimmer of sunlight was barely visible behind dark clouds, but there. The curse broke according to the contract. Cheong Dallae could only sit and watch it unfold.
It was truly a result outside of her expectations. She could do nothing but accept the will of the gods. Still, she clicked her tongue in silent protest and splashed her tail bitterly before she disappeared into the depths of the ocean. Just one prey breaking free would not end her hunt.
The agent, cautious about the sea witch's sudden exit, rushed to bring the mermaid to land while it was still safe. As he lifted Kim Soleum’s body away from the water, his tail morphed into legs.
After absorbing the pure human blood, the mermaid had been granted a new body by the sea gods. A hybrid body capable of living on the edge of the sea world and human world, with webbed toes and fingers, gills at the side of his ribs, and ears slightly flared back like fins.
As soon as Kim Soleum’s eyes blinked open, his mind was hazy and overrun with questions. Is this a dream? Is he still alive? His head pounded as his thoughts spun endlessly, but one thing was certain. Agent Choi was in front of him, with his clothes soaked in water and blood, smiling. A dazzling smile that shined brighter than any star.
Agent Choi spoke in a soft voice, words that Kim Soleum could have sworn he heard wrong.
"Is it too late to tell you I love you?"
Kim Soleum, eyes wide, coughed up water.
"Since when can mermaids drown?" The agent laughed, lifting up the other to hit his bare back gently.
Agent Choi took off his jacket and wrapped it around the younger man, who, despite his large frame, looked as if he shrunk inside the jacket. "Sorry it's wet, let's get you warmed up." He lifted him as if he weighed nothing, cradling him in his arms like something fragile.
For the first time in a long time, Kim Soleum felt completely safe. The wet jacket was sticky and cold, and the chilly gusts of air blew harshly against his bare skin, but the comforting body heat from the agent's chest and arms that cradled his body overcame that. Feeling at ease, he closed his eyes and generously pretended he didn’t hear the thumping of the agent’s pounding heart.
* * *
Kim Soleum felt a familiar sensation of weight on his body—of being submerged. He jolted awake with splashes of water, gasping, only to be met with the alarmed expression of Agent Choi who had been lowering his body into a bathtub.
Quickly realising that he overreacted, Kim Soleum stammered apologies, noticing the agent’s hair that was now dripping with water.
Agent Choi shushed him in a soft voice. “It’s okay,” he reassured.
Soon, Kim Soleum’s eyelids grew heavy listening to the hum of wind outside the thin walls, a reminder that he was on the surface—safe. The sound alleviated the anxiety that still resided deep in his heart. He felt butterflies in his stomach at the sight of Agent Choi washing him up, carefully, diligently, like it was the most important task in the world.
He couldn’t help but feel guilty, looking at the agent’s own disheveled state, his button-up and undershirt clung together, soiled with seawater and dried blood. The only thing clean were the forearms that were revealed by his rolled-up sleeves. ‘It must be cold,’ he thought regrettably.
Kim Soleum tugged at the dripping wet sleeve in front of him and mumbled, “...cold.”
“You’re cold?” The agent asked in a worried voice, already checking the bathwater with his own fingers.
“No…” The younger man pointed toward the agent, too tired for words after such an exhausting day.
“Oh, I’m okay,” the agent brushed off the other’s concern, but was only met with a more insistent pull on his sleeve as the other shifted his body to one side of the bathtub.
“Oh- Really, I’m okay…” Agent Choi continued to politely refuse, but Kim Soleum, with a surprising amount of strength, pulled the agent toward the water. He would have fallen in if he hadn’t caught himself by the edge of the bathtub, not wanting to sully the clean bathwater.
“Okay, okay!” He gave in, quickly undressing and scrubbing off the dirt and grime he had been ignoring before he attempted to enter the other side of the tub, placing one leg into the space that Kim Soleum had left in front of himself. Just from that, it was clear that the tub would be cramped for two adult men to sit at opposite sides, so the younger man nudged the agent to sit behind him instead and pushed his own body forward. After the two of them settled into the bathwater, Kim Soleum who was overcome by drowsiness rested his head on the side of the cold, hard wall, but the agent propped his head onto his own body instead.
Before Kim Soleum drifted off to sleep, he remembered the warm bathwater soaking into his skin as gentle hands traced his fin-like ears to the back of his head as if studying them before shifting to massage his scalp. The relaxing circular motions behind his ears lulled him to sleep. He also remembered curious fingers rubbing softly against the gills that extended from the sides of his ribs. The fingers suddenly stopped when he let out a chuckle at the touch, still half-asleep. He couldn't help being ticklish there…