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The spoon sank into the mass. Ruskin let it fill before he carefully brought it to the lying figure's mouth. The man who lay on the bed, covered with blankets, was not at his senses. His eyes were closed and he looked really pale - even paler than he used to be. His curly hair, which used to be so lively and soft, lost its brightness and strength. Ruskin gently swept the two locks away from the man's face to not get in the way while he was feeding him. His heart was aching whenever he looked at the man, but he knew that he can't give in to his sorrow. He can't give up on him - and especially not remember how they got here. That the one he loved more than anything in the world was unconscious, at the edge of life and death. He didn't want to recall that night, because it flooded him with such a heavy anger that he could barely even breathe from it.
The man, his employer, Charles Augustus Milverton got shot after he failed one of his evil plans. His broken and bleeding body fell to the sea where Ruskin, after hours of search, finally found it. Mr. Milverton looked like he was already dead but Ruskin still hoped. He knew that he would never live without his beloved employer, that if he died, then Ruskin would also end his life with his own hands. But he didn't want to let Mr. Milverton go without a fight. He was holding Mr. Milverton's seemingly lifeless body strongly and after he swam to the shore, he tried to bring him back - and his third attempt was successful. He heard that his employer's heart started to beat again. The tears of joy ran down on Ruskin's cheeks while he kept caressing Mr. Milverton's lips where he sensed the tiny breath after he covered his mouth with his own. The determination over keeping the other man on his side filled him inside. Ruskin was aware that long, tiring months would await him until he helped Mr. Milverton recover from his injuries - but he would win the fight.
Ruskin brought the spoon to his employer's lips. The food he made for him was inevitable for the healing, but it was not easy to feed the unconscious man. He gently forced Mr. Milverton's mouth to open and slowly poured the mass inside. Half of it missed direction and flowed down on his employer's pale chin, but this was expected. It didn't ruin Ruskin's mood, he made enough food for several attempts. Ruskin positioned Mr. Milverton's head to make sure that the mass which reached its way did not get into his airway and with tender, but confident movements, he began to irritate the gullet to make his employer swallow the food. He smiled when he felt the Adam's apple bobbing at his fingertips and he knew that he succeeded. He put the spoon back to the mass for the next round. He stopped for a moment before he took it up again to run his fingers over Mr. Milverton's face. He stared at the closed eyelids and he murmured the short prayer that the man would wake up soon and he could see the beautiful golden eyes glancing at him again. Ruskin felt a tear on his eyelashes, but he didn't let himself cry. He promised himself and Mr. Milverton that he would never give up hope and he would come out victorious from the most important battle. The one for Mr. Milverton's life. He raised the spoon again and continued the feeding. He knew that he would never stop until Mr. Milverton would heal.
It took another month until Mr. Milverton woke up from the coma. Ruskin barely left his bedside until then, only to make the food and clean the bedding after the man. He gently washed his employer's body every day and changed the bandages. It made his heart ache that he needed to see him so weak. Ruskin didn't pay attention to his own pain - he continued taking care of Mr. Milverton until one day, he witnessed the most beautiful sight in the world. He was about to feed Mr. Milverton when he noticed that the man's eyelids moved. He heard a deep sigh and in the next moment, his employer opened his eyes and faintly looked at him.
The bowl fell out of Ruskin's hands and the mass made the bedding dirty, but in that second, he didn't care. He finally got what he was waiting for until then. The tears started running down his face as he stared into the golden gaze. He lovingly smiled at his employer and took his hand.
"Sir..."
No more words came out of his mouth, but he didn't even need to say more. Mr. Milverton smiled back and his eyes sparkled up when he recognized Ruskin. The pale fingers weakly clasped into Ruskin's hand. Ruskin kept crying from the joy, his other hand caressing Mr. Milverton's curly locks. His employer didn't stop smiling at him and when Ruskin finally moved to clean up the mass he made, he quietly spoke.
"Please... don't go away now. Stay... with me."
Ruskin looked at him through his tears and devotedly told.
"I will stay with you forever, Mr. Milverton."
On the next morning, Ruskin made the food to feed his employer again. It was easier that Mr. Milverton was awake now, while he was not strong enough to move his hands yet, he could swallow on his own. Ruskin fixed him to a half sitting position and sat down on his bedside. He brought the spoon to Mr. Milverton's mouth and watched as the man weakly swallowed it. Ruskin knew how hard it was for his employer who always took pride in his power to be in a helpless state, needing to rely on him, so he tried to act as naturally as he could, letting Mr. Milverton to sip the mass down from the spoon on his own. Mr. Milverton was eating obediently and didn't stop Ruskin to speak, only after they were done with the breakfast, he started to talk.
"Why, Ruskin?" He asked and Ruskin felt that the golden eyes pierced into his gaze.
"What why, sir?" Ruskin blinked, he didn't understand the question completely. He first thought that Mr. Milverton was questioning the food he gave him and he was about to tell him why it was important for his recovery, when his employer continued.
"Why do you serve me even if I am in this state? What use do you still have from me? I can't give you a salary anymore." He added in a bitter, regretting tone.
Ruskin was surprised by the question. He thought that Mr. Milverton already realized. After some time, his feelings got so strong that it became impossible to hide his feelings from his employer.
"Don't you have a guess, sir?” He asked in an intimate voice and tilted his head. The way he watched Mr. Milverton now already has the answer in it. He saw that his employer's cheeks slightly turned red. It was a beautiful sight after the months of paleness. Mr. Milverton swallowed.
"I have - but I want to hear it from you."
A smile appeared at the corner of Ruskin's mouth. He reached out and took his employer's face between his palms. It didn't feel disrespectful anymore - not after he saved him.
"I love you, sir." He stated simply. "I love you more than anything in the world."
Mr. Milverton chuckled and he turned even redder. The confession seemed to make him happy. Ruskin didn't know that it was so easy to talk about his feelings. He was always afraid to voice them out before. Maybe what happened that night, that they almost lost each other brought them closer.
"Then why don't you kiss me?” Mr. Milverton’s eyes glowed up as he winked at Ruskin. The spark and the question made Ruskin's heart beat faster - while Mr. Milverton didn't say anything in return to his confession, it was clear that he felt something similar, even if not the same. But that didn't matter - only that mattered that he could still hold Mr. Milverton... and he could kiss him.
"This was my greatest dream." Ruskin whispered and leaned closer, covering his employer's lips with his own.
