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It’s a misunderstanding, is in the heat of the moment that turns into a fight. Emma has been clingy to Lucy for someone reason and doesn’t want anyone but her. She even refuses to go to Tim. It’s hard and Lucy is a little stressed by it. Emma is almost three, and while it had gone away for the most part—she still had separation anxiety from Lucy.
Tim has to go pick Emma up from daycare because she’s refusing to eat, she refusing to let anyone hold her or comfort her. Lucy is busy and can’t step away from work and she’s already tired as it is.
Tim is busy too but he tells her he would go to pick Emma up and see if there was anything he could do.
But unfortunately Tim picking her up only seems to make it worse. Lucy can hear her daughter crying over the phone.
“What is going on with her?” Lucy asks. “Did you try and give her some snacks?”
“Of course I did.” Tim snaps, and she knows it’s not on purpose. He’s frustrated too—she was not the only one that was worried and stressed out.
“Does she need to go to the bathroom?” Lucy asks. “Maybe her tummy is upset and is bothering her.” She’s trying to remain calm, she really is but the sound of her baby crying in the background brings her back to when she was still with Chris and she was colicky. And when the first daycare she had been at had ignored her injury.
The sound of her baby crying just isn’t what she wants to hear right now.
It’s hard.
“I don’t know Lucy.” Tim says. “She keeps crying for you and pushing me away. It was lucky I was able to get her out of there.”
Lucy sighs and puts her head down on the desk. She’s stressed and she’s tired, she has no idea what to do about her daughter.
“I will be home soon.” Lucy says. She looks at the paperwork on her desk.
She would be home soon. She would be home soon.
***
Lucy coming home only seems to make things worse with Emma and she knows without a doubt there is something else going on.
She could be sick.
Something could have happened at the daycare.
Emma was only two, she wasn’t exactly just going to burst out that something had happened.
“Lucy, maybe she is sick.” Tim says but Lucy doesn’t seem to hear him. Emma has only slightly calmed down in her arms. She always seemed to know when Emma was getting sick, how could she have not known? How could she have not seen the signs…
It has to be something else.
Maybe—
(Or maybe she was just being stubborn and not believing she didn’t see the signs).
“I know my daughter Tim.” She snaps. Tim blinks at her a few times. “I know what she needs.”
“I didn’t—”
“I can handle this on my own.” She says and she wants to take it back. She knows he’s just trying to help. Emma is his daughter too, even if it’s not by blood. He’s been her dad for a long time.
“Okay.” Tim says quietly. He steps back and then disappears from sight. Lucy sighs and goes to lay down on the couch.
She puts Emma on her chest and the toddler buries her face into Lucy’s shirt. Lucy rubs her back in a soothing motion. Soon the toddler is fast asleep and gripping Lucy’s shirt. And soon Lucy is slowly drifting off into sleep.
Much needed sleep.
Thank god.
But she still hears her words to Tim echoing in her mind: my daughter, I could handle this on my own.
She needs Tim, deep down she knows that and Emma needs him too.
They both do.
She would talk to him later but right now she needs sleep.
***
Lucy wakes up and looks around, she’s confused. She is no longer on the sofa and Emma is no longer on her chest.
She sits up and blinks a few times. She’s in her bedroom except it’s not the bedroom she shares with Tim.
No.
It’s the one she shares with Chris, it’s smaller and everything is squished together. She feels a little dizzy.
Why was she back here?
Where was Tim? Where was Emma?
She climbs out of bed and heads out of the bedroom. She stops in her tracks when she sees her daughter. She is standing in the doorway of another room and clutching a blanket. She is staring up at a man but she looks terrified.
Chris.
“What are you doing?” Lucy asks almost in panic and she rushes to Emma’s side and scoops her up.
Chris glares at her. “Fucking finally.” He sneers. “The brat woke me up.” Emma buries her face into Lucy’s shoulder.
“She’s your daughter not a brat.” Lucy seethes. “Why didn’t you wake me?”
“I didn’t want to hear your whining about you needing sleep.” Chris snaps. “I want breakfast and it’s not going to make itself.” He storms off without another word. Lucy sighs and presses a kiss to the top of Emma’s head.
She didn’t whine about not getting enough sleep; that was Chris. And he would always demand she make him breakfast and throw a fit when Emma got food first.
“I’m sorry baby.” Lucy mutters and carries Emma back into her room. Lucy had gotten her a toddler bed but it wasn’t working out like she thought. Emma would get out of it and wonder into their room. Chris had already threatened to put her back in the crib where she belongs. “I will get your food in a little bit.”
She goes out to the kitchen where Chris is waiting. “The girl is not that important,” he says. “I need to get to work.”
“Then go to work.” She says opening the refrigerator. “Our daughter is just as important as you Chris.”
“Clearly,” he sneers. “That’s all you care about.” Lucy grips the handle of the refrigerator door. He’s not wrong. Emma is the only good thing she will ever get out of this god forsaken relationship.
“Maybe if you would help me out a little.” She says but she doesn’t turn to face him. “You would care too.”
“I never wanted the little brat.” Chris says. Lucy takes a deep breath. “So that will not be happening. Just forget breakfast. You fucked up and now I’m late.” Lucy hears him walk off and the door opening and closing. She slams the refrigerator door shut.
Fucked up like always.
That’s all she ever did.
***
Lucy goes to work too, she drops Emma off at the daycare she can barely afford. She makes good money but of course Chris makes sure that he gets some too. He doesn’t spend it on her or Emma but on himself and whatever woman he sleeps with that night.
She hides some away though and focuses on Emma because she does matter. She is what is keeping her sane.
Chris has never shown interest in the baby. There was a time where Lucy was going to run and take Emma with her and just go.
But Chris caught her and threatened to take Emma away from her. His mother found out too and berated her.
There was nothing Lucy could do, she had been stuck here for over 3 years.
She does the same thing ever day, and hopes one day it just gets better but it never does.
“Lucy,” Chris bangs on her car window. She looks back at Emma who is fast asleep. She was trying to sit here for a few minutes and was hoping to get in the house before Chris knew they were home. “Open up.” Lucy growls in frustration and opens the door.
“What?”
“Don’t what me bitch.” He snarls. Lucy takes a deep breath. “You didn’t make me breakfast, you didn’t make me lunch—”
“You never—”
“And now you are just sitting there car. I’m going out.” Chris says and he slams the door on Lucy’s leg. She doesn’t cry out in pain because she was used to it. Emma however wakes up and starts crying.
“Shh baby.” Lucy says opening the back door and pulling the toddler out. “It’s okay.”
“You are obsessed with her.” Chris says suddenly appearing again. “She’s not great.”
“She’s our daughter.” Lucy hisses grabbing Emma’s bag and slamming the door. Emma buries her head into Lucy’s shoulder. “I’m not obsessed. I love her.”
“We could have been great Lucy.” Chris says and for once he doesn’t look angry. “I told you I didn’t want kids.”
“It takes two to tango Chris and like it or not she is your daughter too. She closes the other door this time more gently. “We weren’t anything before her. You were an abusive bastard then and you are now.”
Chris gets a angry look on his face. There we go. Lucy didn’t push his buttons on purpose, she was just sick of him and demanding everything from her. If he didn’t get it he would hit. It was less likely to happen if Emma was in her arms.
Lucy had reported him for domestic violence but he had friends and his friends made it go away. She tried going to everyone she knew but no one seemed to want to deal with him and get the repercussions of putting a so-so lawyer behind bars.
It wasn’t fair.
But Lucy’s main goal was keeping Emma safe and that’s what she was going to do. She was going to keep doing that. No matter what.
“I provide for you and the little brat!” Chris says stepping towards her. Lucy takes a step back holding onto Emma.
“No that would be me.” Lucy says. “You steal from me and you make sure I can’t spend anything on myself.”
“You are a worthless bitch Lucy.”
“And you are a piece of garbage.” She shoots back. Chris steps forward and grabs Emma from her. The toddler screams reaching for Lucy. Lucy moves to get her back but Chris makes sure she can’t.
“You need to leave Lucy.” Chris says. “You are no longer welcomed here.”
“I pay for the house.” She snaps. “It’s under my name. You can’t kick me out.”
“Fine.” Chris says. He yanks Emma’s bag from her. “I will leave.” Lucy has tears in her eyes and Emma is still screaming.
“Give me Emma and I will go.” Lucy says desperately. “I will leave Chris. Just give me Emma.” She has no where to go. She has no one to go to but she needs her daughter.
“Fine.” Chris says and he puts Emma on the ground, she runs towards Lucy who picks her up and hugs her tightly. “Go. You are no good to me anymore.” He throws Emma’s bag down and storms instead.
She has no doubt that the locks would be changed by tomorrow.
“Come on baby.” Lucy says. “Mommy is going to figure this out. It’s just you and me.” Emma just holds onto Lucy tightly.
If only she had left when Emma was a baby. If only—
If only—
***
Lucy wakes up with a start and sees Tim looking down at her with concern in his eyes. She reaches for Emma but she is no longer on her chest.
“Emma—”
“I put her in her bed.” Tim says and hesitates before he speaks again. “She seemed to be a little restless. She’s fast asleep. I think she might be coming down with a cold.”
Of course.
“Oh.” Lucy says and she sits up. “Why do you have that look on your face?” She’s trying to get the dream out of her mind. That could have been her life if she hadn’t left Chris. It was awful.
“You were restless too and you were muttering in your sleep.” Tim says sitting down next to her. Lucy looks at him, and he doesn’t look upset. He just looks concerned and worried. She remembers snapping at him and it all comes back to her.
My daughter.
Emma was Tim’s daughter, and maybe it wasn’t in the traditional way but that was his little girl. He was the dad she deserved from the start.
“I’m sorry,” Lucy says. “I said my daughter and I’m sorry for snapping. You were just trying to help.”
“Hey,” Tim says softly putting a hand on her arm. “Relax. It’s okay.”
“It’s not.” Lucy says. “I just had a dream—nightmare and it was so real. I stayed with Chris and it was awful. He didn’t care. He just—” She pauses.
“Lucy—”
“If I hadn’t escaped that night Tim… that would be my life. I would have been trapped. He stole from me. He used everything against me.” Lucy says feeling a little panicked. “He could have easily taken Emma away from me.”
“He was an abusive bastard.” Tim says fiercely and she knows how Tim hates Chris. She has told him little but enough to know what kind of man he was.
“Yes.”
“You got out Lucy. You did that. You saved Emma and you got out. It was just a nightmare.” Tim says. “You are here now with me and Emma. And I’m not going anywhere.”
“I had it because I was a jerk.” Lucy says burying her face in her hands. “God and I said all these things to Chris and didn’t feel bad.”
“Lucy,” Tim takes her hands in his. “You were in an abusive relationship. You were in a situation most people can’t imagine.”
“Yeah.” Lucy mutters. “I just—”
“Look,” Tim says. “If I could go back and help you and help Emma. I would.” He says. “I would have listened.”
Lucy nods and she remembers telling him no one listened or believed her.
“It felt so real.”
“The nightmare?” Tim asks gently.
“It was like I was there and Emma was there—oh my gosh.” She says suddenly standing up. “I need to check on her.”
As if on cue, she hears Emma fussing from her room. But before she can move Tim is standing up.
“I got it babe.” He says. “You just rest. I’ll be right back.” He hurries away before she can say anything more.
Tim comes back five minutes later, and sits back down next to her. “She’s okay?” Lucy asks. She is worried about Emma, she’s usually so in tune with what she needs.
“She doesn’t have a fever. She’s a little stuffed up but she was happy to see me which is honestly a relief.” Tim says. “She will be okay.”
Lucy nods and she feels even guiltier now. Emma was sick, Tim was just trying to help and she did nothing to help the situation.
“Thank you.” Lucy says and Tim pulls her closer to him. She lays her head down on his shoulder.
What could have been.
If she hadn’t left Chris she wouldn’t have all this.
She wouldn’t have Tim. Hell, considering what Chris put her through he might have taken Emma away from her.
“I’m sorry Tim. You are her dad. You have been her dad before we were even together.” She says.
“There was just something about her. I only had experience with my nephews and Jack.” He says.
“So it wasn’t me?” She asks teasingly. Tim gives her a look and pulls her close. “No it was you. But Emma—”
“I know. I get it.” She says. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For always being there for us. From the very start. Thank you for believing me. Thank you for not being like the guys in San Diego.” She says. “They believed their buddy over me when I had bruises everywhere.”
Tim’s face twists up. “If I ever get my hands on any of them.” He says. “And don’t put me in the same room as Sanford.”
Lucy laughs and he kisses her gently. “I’m here to stay.” She says. Tim nods. “But it’s hard to think about what could have been.”
“Well that’s over and you are here.” He says. “Okay? That’s all that matters.”
“I know.” Lucy says and she rubs at her temple. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For being you.” She says. Tim gives her a smile and then leans in to kiss her.
“I’m sorry you had that dream.” He says and then pauses. “I love you.” She swallows a little, feeling grateful.
“I love you too.”