Chapter Text
Tim knew his place, he knew exactly what he was to this family. A tool. He knew that, had accepted it. That, he supposed, is why he was there. He was crouched on a roof in the rain watching the building he had just watched Scarecrow walk into. He had found scarecrow before the others even knew he was out. His eyes were heavy, he hadn’t really been sleeping. He kept telling himself he could sleep once he finished this, once he proved he was good enough. For just a moment he let himself close his eyes and lean against the railing. He was so tired of this cycle, so tired of appearing, being useful then the moment he no longer was, he disappeared in his families eyes. He was self sufficient so that meant he didn’t exist until he was needed. He was needed quite a bit. It was exhausting, he had tried to end it a couple times. He couldn’t though. He’d been a half second from throwing himself off a roof when Dick called, he had needed him to decode something. He’d had enough pills to kill an elephant, almost swallowed them when Bruce called, he asked him to review his notes. He had done it both times, because as pathetic as it was, as much as he hated it, he needed to. He needed that moment where he existed as much as he needed air.
He pushed himself up and got ready to go in. He cracked his neck and jumped in through the skylight, landing silently on the floor. He was careful, he wasn’t sure where scarecrow was hiding. It was too quiet in here, something wasn’t right but Tim couldn’t quite place it. He wandered into another room still trying to find Scarecrow. He knew he was in here, it had only been a minute since he watched him walk in. He heard a chuckle from the next room and grinned. He had him now. He kicked open the door and jumped in ready for a fight. He found an empty room. He furrowed his brow in confusion and put his hands down slowly. He moved to turn around and found metal cracking against his skull, Tim went down hard, hitting his head again on the way down. Scarecrow chuckled, “Fell right into my trap birdie.” Tim was completely unconscious and didn’t hear a word.
The world was spinning when he finally forced his eyes open and he felt his stomach doing somersaults. His ears were ringing and he was pretty sue there was blood on the back of his neck. The lights were way too bright and he had to close his eyes again just to not get blinded. He found himself in a chair leaning against the backrest. He was not bound. That surprised him and he stood up slowly, causing everything to spin even more. He stumbled into the wall but caught himself before he hit the floor. Scarecrow watched him and chuckled. Tim looked up at him and it took him longer than it should have to remember what was going on.
You didn’t tie me up. Tim wasn’t sure if he said that out loud or just in his head. He knew when scarecrow responded.
“You’ve probably got a concussion birdie, plus it makes the show all the better for the dark night.” Scarecrow just grinned at him. Tim laughed bitterly.
“You probably would have better luck with some rando off the street, Batman won’t come for me, least not this week.” He knew Bruce was too busy to notice he was gone, he hadn’t. He knew Bruce didn’t check on him enough to know if he was injured. Tim had had to get himself out of situations before becuase nobody noticed he was gone. He was pretty sure this would be no different. Tim felt his legs turn to jelly but he steeled himself, not willing to fall again. Scarecrow had ignored what he said, probably didn’t believe him, and was setting up a camera to record whatever was about to happen. Tim knew it was probably bad, he figured his best option was escape now. He looked for a window or door, and found only the one Scarecrow was standing in front of. He tried to make a break for it but everything was spinning and it was so hard to stay upright let alone run and he just collapsed after a couple strides. Scarecrow caught him and deposited him back in the chair.
“Hello Gotham. Once again we have a new strain of fear toxin, and today we have the lovely Red Robin here to test it out.” Tim tried one more time to go for the door but scarecrow was quicker getting in his way, and punching him straight in the nose, Tim crashed to the ground only making the ringing worse, his vision fuzzed over and when it cleared he was right back in the chair, Scarecrow behind him, talking while testing the ropes now binding his hands. Tim’s eyes wanted to close so badly but he couldn’t let them. He had to get out of this, nobody was coming. He was the only person he could count on.
Bruces phone buzzed on the table beside him. He finished typing the email then turned his phone over to check. It was an alert from one of the softwares he had to alert him to criminal activity online. Some of the rouges liked the attention social media got them so, despite the fact their accounts kept getting banned, they would make new ones just for this purpose. He sighed and checked wondering if it was another false alarm, there had been a couple that week. He clicked on it and a video of scarecrow popped up.
“This gives Gothams Noble protector twenty minutes to get here and save his little birdie before it gets too much and the poor thing has a heart attack.” Bruce jumped up trying to see who it was, Scarecrow had been blocking the view. In his head he counted, Tim and Damian were upstairs, Cass was in the kitchen with Alfred and duke. That left Steph, Dick, and Jason. He started putting his suit on when he saw Tim. He paused shocked. Tim was upstairs taking a nap, he had just checked on him. He raced up to Tim’s room and sure enough he wasn’t there.
Tim was trying to move away from him, away from the needle full of his fears. It wasn’t working. Scarecrow got behind him and grabbed his forehead to keep him still. Tim tried one more time to wiggle away, he couldn’t.
Bruce had rewinded and what happened from where the video started, he had sent it to Barbara who almost instantly had a location for him. He was on the way now, he sped it back to what was happening currently and found that Tim was completely and totally still. He wasn’t moving, wasn’t speaking, didn’t even look like he was breathing. Bruce had to wonder if the video was frozen, Tim wasn’t even crying or shaking. Something wasn’t right with this batch. Scarecrow could tell too becuase he furrowed his brow, cursed, and went to get another vial. They were both thinking the same thing. Had to be a dud. But it wasn’t.
The room was completely and totally silent, Tim was the only one there. He couldn’t tell where he was his parents house, or Bruce’s. He didn’t think it mattered. The result was the same no matter what. He was alone, abandoned. He didn’t really matter. He wasn’t tied up anymore, and his head didn’t hurt. He was walking down a hallway, his footsteps echoing in the silence, his body was moving without him really knowing. There was the pills in front of him. The glass of water. His hand moved to pick it up, put them in his mouth but the phone rang. It was Jason.
“Hey replacement.” Tim hated that. Hated the reminder that he wasn’t really part of the family, wasn’t like the others. The others were picked, he picked himself. Jason thought it was just a little tease but it was just another blow. Tim was used to it though, so he just listened. “Hey I need you to look over these files, you got that translating stuff right?” Tim just agreed and did the work. Once he was done Jason didn’t call him back, didn’t text, didn’t even say thank you, just moved on. Tim went to grab the pills again and again the phone rang.
Bruce screeched into a parking spot and ran inside. He found Scarecrow sticking another needle in Tims arm. Bruce was quick to knock him off his feet, and end the video still streaming. He spotted four empty syringes laying on the ground.
“What the hell did you do?” Bruce grunted turning to Tim, who was still just frozen. Scarecrow was detained in less than ten seconds and Bruce turned to Tim to pick him up and get him to the car. The moment Bruce’s hands touched Tim he flinched so hard he fell out of the chair. Bruce kneeled and tried again to pick him up but Tim just let out a sharp cry and curled up. He was hyperventilating and from the look in his eyes Bruce could tell he was somewhere else. The usual side effects he had expected finally started and Tim was a mess in the corner crying silently, shaking violently, and trying to hide if anyone got close. Bruce turned to Scarecrow.
“What the hell did you give him Crane?” He demanded angrily. Scarecrow thought carefully for a moment or two.
“Must have made a mistake, this isn’t what it’s meant to do…of course I’m not sure what will happen with the mix.” He trailed off thinking carefully. He was no help. Bruce ignored him and went back to Tim.
“Hey, can you hear me?” Bruce asked gently. Tim shook his head and tried to cover his ears but he couldn’t. “I have to get you out to the car, I’m going to pick you up ok?” Tim I just kept shaking his head and trying to move away. He really couldn’t get far. Bruce scooped him up and carried him to the car.
“Please, no. I can’t do this again, please. I can still fix it I promise I’ll do better. I’m still useful!” Tim was mumbling desperately trying to get the words out. Bruce didn’t know what he was seeing or what he was talking about so he just tried to calm him.
“Hey, shh, it’s ok baby. Just breathe.” That only seemed to make it worse. Bruce got him in the car and started driving back, while in the car he made a call to tell dick to make sure Scarecrow got picked up, another to tell Alfred to get the antidote ready, and a third to tell the other kids what he knew so far. Tim whimpered next to him in the front seat and pressed his face into the door.
“Please don’t get rid of me yet. I promise, I can still be useful.” He murmured. Bruce just tried to focus on driving.