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Cardassia Prime was a hot bed of contradictions, hope and despair, pride and shame, the people of this system trying to make a new life in the wake of absolute destruction of their home world following the end of the Dominion War. And like the bleeding heart he was, Julian had thrown himself bodily into the fray, trying to fight with every ounce of his augmented mind and body to give the injured and sick one more day to turn a leaf, to make a better life. To live. But there was only so much one man could do in the face of system wide starvation and illness.
As such his new boss, Kelas Parmak, had forced him home after 36 hours on his feet. He knew he needed rest, knew he couldn’t save everyone, but those thoughts were offensive to Julian. He trudged to the long drive to his house where he had lived for the past 10 months with Mila, Garak, Kel and Saji. Even if the idea of resting was grating, he was looking forward to seeing his family.
As he crested to the top of the drive, Julian had to do a double take. He shaded his eyes against the dying sun and looked up to the roof of the house.
“ELIM?”
His Cardassian lover braced himself and turned slightly to look down at him.
“Welcome home!” Garak called down to him. Julian put down his bag and walked over to the ladder and shimmed up a few rungs so he didn’t have to yell, “What are you doing on the roof?”
“The sandstorm the other night pulled some tiles loose, the temperature is due to drop any day now. I was trying to make the roof… draft proof.”
“Oh, I hadn’t realized it was that bad… Do you need help?”
“No. I’m almost done.”
“I’ll keep you company.”
“You do not have to, dear,” Garak returned to whatever it was he was doing, Julian was a doctor, not an architect. “How was your day?”
Julian let out a heavy sigh, “Aweful.”
“... I see.”
“Dysentery is… I’ve watched three children die… and some 20 to 30 of our overnight patients are on the watch list, we’re not sure if they’ll make it through the night,” Julian sighed, "That's not accounting for all the broken limbs, cuts, scrapes and other physical injuries we see as people continue to wander into unstable buildings and nearly get crushed to death!”
Julian took a deep breath and tried to calm himself, even with the meager efforts that Bajor was providing in the form of clothes, food and water, it was a drop in the bucket. The Federation hadn’t sent any more aid after the initial contact months ago. There wasn’t enough of anything to go around. Here, on his little homestead with his lover, his soon-to-be mother-in-law, daughter and foster daughter, they had to protect their resources viciously. It broke something in him to have to withhold - but if he didn’t he wouldn’t survive, and if he didn’t survive, then others wouldn't have a chance in hell.
“I’m sorry you must face such cruelties,” Garak said solemnly.
“I’m okay… it’ll get to being okay - eventually.”
He heard movement and turned his head to find Garak sitting on the edge of the roof, his legs bracketing Julian on either side. Calloused hands reached down and tilted his face up. Their foreheads touched and for a moment Julian focused on this - this touch was grounding. Here he was loved and here he made a difference. There was no death, no fear, no pain. They’d promised not to bring the realities of a broken Cardassia into the house, they didn’t want to frighten Saji. It was a little haven, filled with happy child giggles.
Garak pulled away and kissed his forehead, “I’m done now.”
Julian titled his head up and kissed Garak’s lips before going back down the ladder. A few seconds later Garak followed. Even with the times being lean and food being a precious resource, Garak still maintained his stalky frame. All the manual labor he did with the work crews had trimmed him down and where once there was a little softness from his time as a tailor, now there was no illusions that Garak was a powerful man. Julian had never been one swayed by physical strength, but… seeing Garak’s defined shoulders and biceps never failed to touch on the fire of attraction he felt towards the Cardassian.
“Shall we see if Mila has started dinner?” Garak asked as he pulled Julian against him.
“In a minute,” Julian melted into the embrace, and for the moment both of them were content to hold and be held. They both heard the front door open and the squeal of delight prepared them for the onslaught of their daughter. Saji latched herself around Julian’s middle, nuzzaling her face into his stomach. He stroked her cheek and smiled down at her, “Hello to you Princess.”
“Daddy!! You’re home.”
“I am,” Julian agreed.
“Saji… what have I told you about tackling people?” Garak gently chided his daughter.
“Not to,” she muttered.
“Do you know why?”
“Why what?”
“Why we don’t tackle people,” he answered. Julian continued to pet her hair as her face contorted into that of deep thought.
“Because… it’s rude?”
“That is one reason, yes, but there is a more serious reason,” Garak conceded. Julian could watch his lover and their daughter interact for all of time and never not be filled with humble joy. Garak was a patient man, and it was like he was made for fatherhood. Julian had never seen him raise his voice to Saji, and he certainly never raised a hand to her. And moments like this, he encouraged Saji to reason out why something was or wasn’t done.
“Um… I dunno,” she admitted.
“Because you are getting bigger and if someone is unprepared to catch you, you could knock them over and hurt them.”
Realization settled on her face, “d-did I hurt you Daddy?”
“No, not this time, I heard you coming.”
“I’m sorry!!” Saji said as she nuzzled her face back into his stomach. “Forgiven and forgotten, just be more careful, okay?”
She nodded and then looked up at him and Garak with her boundless love, “A’adik is almost done with dinner.”
“Ah, well, that answers our question,” Garak mused, “let’s go wash up, Saji go help your grandmother set the table.”
“Okay Yadik!” And just like that she was running back into the house.
“Oh to be young,” Julian mused as he and Garak followed at a more sedate pace, “think of how much I could get done if I had her endless reserves.”
Garak snorted, “this planet would be rebuilt in record time.”
Julian chuckled. They stopped in the entry way and pulled off their shoes and placed them on the shelf. It was so… domestic, seeing that shelf of shoes, Garak’s work boots and loafers sat next to each other, along with Julian’s own loafers, house slippers and sneakers. Saji threw her shoes wherever she could fit them, sometimes that was on his or Garak’s shoes, sometimes it was on her sisters or her grandmother’s. Regardless, the touch of a child’s chaos was welcome.
He groaned as he straightened back up and gave a long sigh, “I didn’t think I was that tired.”
“Your eye bags have bags dear,” Garak half teased.
“Well… thanks for that raving review of my person.”
“I aim to please,” Garak offered a small bow of his head.
When they came into the dining area of their small house, Kel was already at the table, a PADD in her hand and her eyes glued to it. Mila greeted them with pressed palms and when Kel made no move to acknowledge him or Garak, the older woman reached over and pinched a scale on the younger woman’s neck, “get your head out of the clouds and greet your family!”
“Ow!” Kel hissed and rubbed her neck, “I haven’t heard from Ziyal in a while, I’m so sorry I was invested in our friendship.”
“You are not yet old enough to speak to your elders like that, if you’re not careful, I’ll find a way to stuff you back in your egg and scramble you.”
Kel rolled her eyes at Mila but stood as was expected and greeted him and Garak. “Welcome home.”
“What did you do today?” Julian asked, he typically left before the rest of his family was awake, well, except Garak.
“Helped around here… the fence on the east side of the property needed mending. I ran the electrical wire like you asked me to Elim.”
“Electrical wire?” Julian asked.
“It’s not live, at least not yet…” Garak offered, “but an electric fence visually can be a deterrent for some who may try unsavory things.”
“How are you going to power it?”
“Battery, charge it via the solar panels, it will maybe get one good shock before the battery will deplete, but hopefully that will be all we need to deter a thief. Speaking of, Saji, do not touch the wire on the fence”
“Sissy already told me about it.”
“Good,” Garak nodded and went to help his mother bring their sandpea enhanced rations to the table. It was a staple these days. Julian missed tarkealen tea, he missed sugar, he missed hamburgers and curry and three full meals a day.
But he didn’t complain, thanked Mila for her work and once he gathered his serving he ate. He knew that they all sacrificed a little of their portion to make sure Saji never went without. He, Garak, Mila and Kel had lost weight in the months following their arrival on Cardassia, but Saji, she still had a sturdy little body, her scales and hair bright and lush in the sunlight.
But that is how it had to be, Julian wouldn’t allow malnutrition to stunt the young girl's growth. If Saji didn’t finish all the food she was given, the rest was split between the four adults to finish - but that was a rare occurrence, much like human children, Cardassian children had high metabolism as they grew which meant she had an appetite to match.
Whatever had happened to Saji and Kel prior to their coming to him and Garak had broken both girls of any desire to fuss about food, they ate what they had with no complaints. Which isn’t to say that looks of disappointment didn’t pass over their features when they were forced to eat rations and sandpeas, but they never voiced those disappointments.
“Keiko is going to try and send some seeds that maybe will take here and grow in the winter,” Julian said remembering the letter he’d received from Miles while at the hospital.
That perked everyone up. Mila asked, “what kind of plants?”
“I think she mentioned agave, pomegranate, a grain called quinoa and a type of bean that apparently can help revitalize soil. All of these are drought resistant. There are a few trees as well, but she wasn’t sure how to get a sapling to us, but those are just earth plants. I think she’s also sending some seeds from Vulcan.”
“Anything to diversify our diet would do wonders, that way we could save the ration bars for more… lean times,” Garak nodded.
“Agreed. And pomegranates are a sweet but tart fruit, if we can get them to grow they make for an excellent treat. They also smell great,” Julian nodded.
“You’ll have to show me how to prepare these once we grow them,” Mila said.
“I’ll ask Captain Sisko to send me some cook books. He’s a more accomplished cook than I’ll ever be. His father is a chef on Earth,” Julian laughed.
“They make books on how to cook food?” Saji asked.
“Yes, there are so many ways to prepare things and they different from region to region, at least on earth, that we wrote down our methods so we could share with each other.”
“Yadik, do you have cook books?” Saji turned her curious stare on to her father.
Garak paused and considered, “no, I don’t think I do.”
“Why?”
Julian hid his smile behind his hand at Garak’s barely hid-long suffering look of ‘why me,’ he drew a breath before speaking, “most of what I learned I learned from Mila or Tolan, here on Cardassia many of our culinary arts are passed from generation to generation.”
“Daddy, did your Madik not teach you?”
“No, she didn’t, she… didn’t like me being in the kitchen…”
“Why?”
“Because I asked too many questions,” he gave a small shrug. Amsha had less patience than his father in the kitchen, and she didn’t take his younger self’s multitude of ‘whys’ well.
Saji blinked and suddenly had a moment of panic, “I won’t ask questions!!”
“Baby girl, I want you to ask questions,” Julian soothed, “I love how curious you are and I will never begrudge you asking a question.”
“Questions in the kitchen are essential to learning how better to cook,” Mila tapped the girl on her nose, “your father was just as curious when he was a boy.”
“Really?”
“Oh, endless questions! ‘Madik, why do we use this spice and not that?’ ‘Madik, what does this taste like?’ ‘Madik, can we cook with this?’” Mila shot a teasing smile at Garak, who met her gaze with a slightly quirked ocular ridge and half scowl on his face, but the dusting of blue over his ridges showed his embarrassment. She looked back to her granddaughter, “You are your father’s daughter.”
Saji preened under the praise. She was Garak’s shadow and looked up to her father, so to be compared to her self proclaimed hero was just a feather in her cap.
“Eat your dinner, Jiji,” Kel said softly, also amused at her sister’s antics, “your peas will get cold.”
Saji made a face but quickly started eating, and they all resumed eating. Sandpeas, as Julian learned, when cool tended to turn into a grainy pasty texture that occasionally triggered Julian’s gag reflex. Best eat them while warm and their texture was more silken than grainy. Everyone finished the meal, muttering thanks to Mila for preparing it. Then Julian stood to collect the dishes to go wash up.
“Here, I’ll help,” Kel joined him at the sink.
“Thank you, how is Ziyal?” Julian asked as they got situated.
“Oh, she’s good. She got to show her art down at a prominent art institute on Bajor, Kira went with her.”
“What did she show?”
“Landscapes, they were places her mother had told her about while at the Breen camp, she wanted to marry her imagination of Bajor to reality. Apparently it moved a lot of people.”
“I have no doubt, she is very talented.”
Kel bobbed her head, “She said she’s going to try and send me - I mean us, one of her pieces.”
“If she gives it to you, you don’t have to feel obligated to share.”
“I..”
“She’s a dear friend, it’s okay to treasure things your friends give you,” he noted the flush of scales, but said nothing. Julian hoped that they didn’t dance around the other like he and Garak had done. Yet he said nothing, he wasn't as close to Kel as he was to Saji. He remembered being a teenager and how mortified he would have been if his parents had tried to meddle in his (lack of) love life. So he tried to give gentle encouragement as he could and remained open to her approaching him.
“Do… you have things that you keep to yourself?”
“Oh sure, Jadzia gave me a meditation program, I have never managed to last all that long, but it was one of the first gifts she ever gave to me. Even if it was a distraction meant to get me to stop chasing her.”
“W-wait… You and Mrs. Dax?”
“She would scold you for saying Mrs. Dax like she’s some kind of old matron… and yes, I had such a crush on her when I first came to the station.”
“That is an understatement dear,” Garak snorted.
“I thought you liked men…”
“I’m bi-sexual. Although I’ve favored people of female persuasion most, I did have a few boyfriends in my youth.”
Kel blinked at him and he gave her a concerned look, “are you okay?”
“I… I didn’t think … that… that someone could like both.”
“Sexuality is a very fluid thing,” Julian offered, “even if some societies still like to enforce dichotomies, it’s not black and white like most would believe.”
“Oh, that’s… well… cool, I guess?”
Julian laughed, “thanks.”
“Are you two almost done?” Garak asked.
“What happened to patience is the essence of virtue?” Kel looked over her shoulder.
“It still is. I was simply asking, one would think you have something to hide or perhaps a pressing date to get to, my dear Kel.”
“No!” Kel turned back to the rinsing and drying, and he heard Garak laughed, “your scales say differently my dear.”
“Stop teasing the girl, she’ll combust for sure,” Julian ribbed the older girl.
“I hate you both….” Kel muttered under her breath and Julian ignored it, smiling softly.
There was a howl outside and Julian frowned, “another wind storm?”
“They are common this time of year,” Mila said looking up from her mending, “high winds and low temperatures. The worst. Good thing you patch those tiles.”
“Agreed…” Garak nodded, “we should endeavor to be in bed before the temperature drops too low.”
Now that Garak had said something he could feel the house had dropped a few degrees. He felt bad, this was the kind of temperature he lived for, but he knew 15Cs was considered quite frigid to his Cardassian family. “How cold does it get here?” Julian asked.
“Before radiation and the bombardments, as low as 10 or 9Cs,” Garak offered, “we shall see this year.”
“That’s a little nippy for me too, damn…I might need to send for some thicker clothes.”
“I told you,” Garak pinned him with an exasperated look.
“You're idea of cold and mine are not the same,” Julian shrugged. “Besides, you hated my wardrobe and got rid of most of my clothes.”
“Do not blame me,” Garak huffed.
“It is a statement of fact,” Julian dried his hands as Kel finished rinsing the last dish.
“We can try to get some wool from Bajor,” Kel suggested, “Ziyal said it’s warm.”
“I can also see if I can source some wool from Earth. Alpaca is so soft,” Julian recalled the scarf his mother had that was made from Alpaca fur.
“Alpaca?” Garak tried the word out.
“What’s that?” Saji asked as she came back into the room in her PJs.
“Well… they are a beast of burden that my kind domesticated, they have long necks and long faces. They grow soft fur that is shaved from them and used to make thread,” Julian walked over to the book shelf and found one of his pads that had his encyclopedias on them. He found the picture and sat down on the couch as Saji clamored into his lap and looked at the image. Garak, Mila and Kel also hovered over him to see the image.
“They look so fluffy!!” Saji exclaimed.
“They are a bit,” Julian nodded.
“Can we have one?” Saji asked.
“No love,” Julian kissed her forehead, “For one, they would be very stressed. Flying on a space shuttle for so long, and two what would they eat? They are grazers and require a large amount of plant life to survive.”
“Oh…” she sighed, “okay.”
“We have to take care of ourselves before we can bring a pet into the house,” Garak offered, “now, let’s get you tucked in, bed time my dear.”
“But Yadik… I’m not tired!”
“You will be once the temperature drops more. Best to be snuggled in tight so you stay warm.”
She pouted, and Julian gave her an encouraging pat on the back, “Bed time love, I’ll come read you a story after you give kisses to Yadik.”
She gave another whine but relented and trudged to the bed, Garak fussing over her as he was want todo. Asking if she’d brushed her hair, if she had applied scale oil, if she’d picked her teeth among the relevant hygiene questions he always asked. While Garak was attentive to everyone else's needs he was terrible about his own. Which, Julian reflected, he was just as bad at doing. If he wasn’t pushing himself to his limits, he felt like what was the point of being an augment?
Julian looked up at Garak’s return and he took his place, stopping by the book shelf to grab a cardassian story book, it was good practice for him and Saji was a doll and helped him with his pronunciations. He sat beside her and she rolled so her head was pressed against his hip. As he read he absentmindedly stroked her hair, and it wasn’t long before he felt her little body go slack as sleep took her. He slipped out from her side and made sure she was tucked in and kissed her temple. He whispered softly against her temple, “I love you princess.”
Then he tiptoed out of the room and closed the door, Kel was wrapped in a blanket on the couch, reading her letter, Garak was coming from their bedroom in his flannel pjs, and Julian smiled fondly at seeing him bundled up as if it was getting below freezing, Mila was still working on her mending.
“Asleep?” Mila asked.
“Like a light.”
“She was running around the garden all day today, I’m tired having just watched her,” Mila shrugged, “not tired my left neck scale…”
“I was thinking maybe some tea? To bolster us before the chill sets in?” Garak moved to the kitchen.
“Which tea?” Kel asked.
“Red leaf, the only kind we have.”
“Oh right… not for me.”
“Julian, Mila?”
“None for me thanks, it keeps me awake,” Julian replied, he kissed Garak’s cheek, “I’m going to go change.”
As Julian headed to their bedroom he heard Kel, Garak and Mila chat softly. As the day wound down and the quiet slowness of the night settled around him Julian realized how exhausted he was. He'd been working for 36 hours straight and it was Kelas’ threat of calling Garak to come ‘collect him’ that had sent him back home. Tomorrow he hoped he could sleep in, just a little. There was always something to do, and if the wind he was hearing outside was any indication, that something might include picking up and patching up.
He found his lightweight pjs, a shirt and tshirt combo that was loose and wicked moisture. He could tell it was chilly, but if Garak decided to pile on the blankets, he might still end up sweating. He headed into the single bath to brush his teeth and wash his face. No one begrudged him these small acts of hygiene since Julian typically ended up showering and bathing on the hospital's dime. The water that was allotted to his family for him, went towards other things, like making tea on the occasion or for him, brushing his teeth and washing his face.
When he came out he could tell his eyes were starting to fight him, and he decided he wasn’t going to fight back.
“Elim… I’m going to bed,” he said as he came up behind his love, touching Garak’s shoulder as he was measuring tea leaves for himself and Mila.
“So early?” Garak asked.
“I’ve been awake for 36 hours straight, 16 of that was in one surgery, the rest running around the emergency ward and doing rounds.”
“Forgive me dear, I know you need sleep. I was being selfish and hoping we could have a few hours to spend together this evening,” Garak stroked his cheek.
“I’m off tomorrow,” Julian offered leaning into his lovers hand,
“Then I will be selfish then, go to bed. I’ll join you shortly.”
Julian stepped into Garak space to press their foreheads together before stealing a quick kiss to his lips. Garak squeezed his bicep before sending him on his way.
Julian fell into bed and barely got a blanket over him before he was dead to the world.
Julian jolted up tight and two things registered in his brain, screaming and very loud howling. The howling was the wind and was so loud he almost wasn’t sure he’d heard the screaming. Yet the scream wasn’t a figment of his imagination, that was Saji. He’d heard that scream one too many times in the dead of night not to recognize it.
He pushed Garak’s arm from around his waist only to get snagged back down into bed.
“You’ll let in the cold,” came a groggy and grumpy Garak.
“I’m less concerned about your cold toes and more concerned about Saji. You didn’t hear that scream?”
Garak sat up and blinked and quickly coming to, “no.. but the wind is quite loud and you know my hearing isn’t as acute as yours.”
“I’m going to go check on her.”
Garak nodded at him, and Julian slipped out of bed with a small exclamation of surprise, “prophets it got cold!!”
He hurried down the hall and sure enough the closer he got he could hear Kel talking softly while Saji sobbed. Julian knocked before pushing the door open. “Girls?”
“Daddy!!” Saji half wailed, half whispered, “I-I’m scared!!”
He hurried over to her bed and down on her other side, “it’s okay sweet heart, you’re safe.”
“Something banged on the roof, I think it sounded a little uh.. explosion-y,” Kel offered, “That and she’s cold, but our beds aren't big enough for the two of us to huddle together.”
Julian frowned and pulled the young girl into his arms, while using his other hand to touch Kel’s hand, “you feel pretty chilled too.”
“Yeah, I’m not all that comfortable.”
Julian could feel Saji shivering, he wasn’t sure how much of that was from the trigger of her fear or being cold, but he wasn’t just going to leave her here if she was cold. Survival training from his days as a cadet floated through his mind and he came up with an idea.
“Grab all yours and Saji’s bedding and take it into the living room.”
“… why?”
“Mine and Elim’s bed isn’t big enough for everyone, we’ll have to make a pallet on the floor. I should be able to provide some warmth once we all get settled under the same covers, we can also stoke a fire in the stove. That should help warm everyone up.”
“… I…”
“Doctors orders.”
“Alright,” Kel sighed.
Julian grunted as he stood up with Saji supported at his front. He was about to leave the small bedroom when Garak walked in, “is everything alright?”
“Yadik …” Saji grabbed at Garak’s shirt and Julian could almost see the flash of concern that passed over Garak’s face, “Saji. What’s wrong, my love?”
“I’m scared,” she whispered, "I..I heard... It sounded... like... like the bomb..."
Garak kissed her forehead in response, "No explosions my love, you're safe, just the wind."
“She's also cold,” Julian added. “Will you grab all our bedding and pull it to the living room?”
“… why?”
“So we can keep the girls warm, and the stove is close by. We can use that to add some heat.”
Understanding passed over his eyes and he nodded, “Ah. Yes, I’ll wake Mila, she’s probably cold too.”
Julian nodded and grabbed a blanket from Saji’s bed, wrapped her shoulders and hugged her close, “it’s gonna be okay Princess, I promise you’re safe.”
When he got to the living room he used his hip to push chairs and tables out of the way, creating a large space for him and his family to snuggle up together.
Kel arrived first tossing blankets down on the floor, then it was Mila and finally Garak. After Mila had deposited all her blankets and pillows, she came over to him and pressed her forehead against Saji’s, trying to offer her own words of comfort to ease the child’s fear.
“I think we’ve got it,” Garak nodded, watching Kel flop down and start to get comfortable. He took a seat and motioned to Julian, “give her here.”
Julian kissed her temple, “Yadik’s gonna hold you now, okay?” He walked towards Garak. When he got a small nod from her and her claws loosened their grip on his shirt did he pass her to Garak. With the little girl wrapped in her father’s arms, Julian went over to their stove and looked over their supply of wood and calculated how much they could spare. It took some finagling on his part to get the wood to catch, and once it did, he banked it so it would burn slowly through the night. Then he returned to his family.
“You’re between the girls,” Garak motioned to the space between Saji who was plastered to Garak’s chest and Kel who was on her side curled in on herself trying not to shiver.
Julian laid down and it didn’t take long for Kel’s back to press against his back. He and Mila made sure all the blankets were spread over the five of them and after everyone made little adjustments to get comfortable, even Julian felt cozy.
“Everyone warming up?” He asked softly into the dark after a few moments.
“Way to think ahead Elim,” Mila said drowsily, “choosing a human, he’s a walking heater.”
Garak laughed softly, “Found me out Mila, I only keep him for his body.”
“I’m glad you two think you’re funny,” Kel muttered, “but some of us are trying to sleep.”
“I’m going to take everyone’s witty remarks as a yes,” Julian bit back a yawn, before addressing his daughter, “feeling better Saji?”
“It’s so loud…” she whispered.
“Daddy and I are here,” Garak rolled a little so Saji was bracketed between his and Julian’s chest, their bodies acting as a buffer against the sounds, “You are safe my dear, nothing will hurt you.”
“Yadik and A’adik built a sturdy house, it’s just like the brick house from the three little pigs, and this wind is just the big bad wolf, and soon, it’ll run out of breath.”
“What if it tries to come down the chimney?” Saji asked.
“The stove’s exhaust is as thick as my arm. the only thing that might try to come in is a ragnar.”
“Promise?”
“We promise,” Garak rubbed her back. Julian could feel her slowly relax and after a few minutes she was out like a light.
Julian saw Mila look over Garak’s shoulder, “is she asleep?”
“Yes,” Garak answered.
“Good, my heart breaks when she gets like this” Mila said softly, protective love in her voice, “Good night Elim, Julian, Kel.”
There were a few more murmured ‘good nights’ before they all fell back quiet. Everyone’s breathing evened out to a symphony of soft whistles from Mila, Kel’s barely there snores and Garak’s soft breathing. It all lulled Julian on into Morphus’ arms. Julian fought with his eyes to stay awake just to bask in the feeling of close family. But with the warmth and the steady presence of Garak to his front and Kel’s back to his, he too felt safe. Sleep took him.
The light assaulting his eyes from the other side of his eyelids was annoying and honestly how dare the sun wake him up. He rolled over and buried his face into Garak’s pillow and pulled the blankets over his head. He dozed back off until the sound of a door opening and then closing pulled him back to waking consciousness. It was followed by almost imprecivable footsteps.
“Ummm... Elim?”
“…ah… I didn’t wake you, did I, dear?”
“‘Twas the sun… how did I get back in our room?”
“How else do you think?” Garak chuckled, “I carried you.”
“I don’t remember…”
“No you wouldn’t, you were very much still asleep, deeply, when the rest of us started to wake. I know how hard you’ve been working, I figured if you were that deeply asleep you needed the sleep.”
Julian blinked, “what time is it now?”
“Oh just after 0100,” Garak offered.
“Shit…”
“I was going to change and then go have lunch, would you care to join me?”
Julian’s stomach answered for him.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Garak chuckled.
“Mila and the girls?”
“Gone to market, see if they barter some of our sand peas for things we could use.”
“Just you and me huh?” Julian rolled on to his back and stretched as far as he could, a grunt of effort escaped his lips just before he sagged back down into the bed.
“And we shall have the rest of the day together.”
“I can help out if things need doing,” Julian protested.
“Julian. You need rest, so that is what you and I are gonna do.”
Julian chuckled, “I see what you’re doing… and it’s working. After you change, will you come lay with me for a bit? I don’t want to get up just yet.”
There was a fond look on Garak’s face even if his words came out as if he was so put-upon, “if I must.”
Julian remained boneless and sprawled out, and after some moments Garak came back in and slid into the bed beside Julian. He rolled so his head was resting on Garak’s shoulder. He could smell the loamy and earthy scent that clung to his lover from when he had been working in their garden. The smell of the garden on his lover's skin was becoming one of his new favorite smells.
“Are you sniffing me?”
“…not intentionally…” Julian blushed, “I… I was just thinking how you smell like the garden…”
“I’m sorry, I hate that I cannot bathe regularly…”
“Oh no! It’s not a bad thing, not really… it’s… I dunno… it’s comforting, like your scale oil was.”
“…Ah, I see.”
“I wasn’t trying to make you self conscious.”
“I know… cleanliness is a point of pride…”
He snorted, “you don’t have to tell me, I know I’m not the cleanest when it comes to physical stuff… but you and I have been of similar opinions when it comes to personal hygiene. This past summer was miserable. All that sweating and not being able to bathe it off. The salt sticks to my skin and I feel all… caked.”
“I enjoyed licking it off.”
Julian thumped the other man in the side, “pervert.”
“I beg your pardon, my dear, I was simply taking advantage of a very… appealing resource.”
“Your lies are getting thinner and thinner my plain and simple tailor.”
“I cannot help that your imagination went… what’s that phrase you’ve used… Gone to the ditch?”
“Gone in the gutter.”
“That’s the phrase.”
“You’re incorrigible.”
“And yet, here you remain.”
Julian tilted his head up so he could kiss Garak’s chin, “and here I will remain.”
“I do not know what I did to deserve you my dear, but you have been a light that keeps me going. Thank you.”
“Don’t get all sappy on me, I’ll think you’re sentimental.”
“State forbid.”
“State forbid,” Julian agreed and shifted further up and pressed a kiss to Garak’s lips, “I love you.”
“Now who’s being sentimental.”
“Yes, but I’m the silly human with all his federation ideals… I’m expected to be sentimental.”
They shared languid kisses, no heat or desire in the sexual sense was present, only the desire to have some kind of connection, both physical and emotional. When they could do nothing more than breathe, they stayed touching, foreheads touching and hands clasped between them.
“My dear…”
Julian hummed a soft noise in response.
“Perhaps you’ve had your fill of sentimentality and you would care to join me for actual physical sustenance.”
Julian stole one more kiss, “yeah, thank you for indulging me.”
“It’s one of my life’s truly greatest pleasures.”
Julian laughed with a blush but he slowly pulled away and sat up. He didn’t bother changing as he followed Garak into the kitchen. For lunch it was water and ration bars, which they split one between them.
“Would you care to indulge me?” Garak asked.
“Of course, what is it?”
“Can we read?”
Julian smiled, “I would love to.”
And that’s how Mila, Kel and Saji found them later that afternoon, Julian sprawled on the couch, head in Garak’s lap as they both read a book in silence. Julian couldn’t have asked for a better day of relaxation.