Chapter Text
Kevin Avery walked into his office on a regular Wednesday morning, coffee in one hand and his briefcase in the other. He waved to his niece Paige, who seemed to be busy photocopying something, as he made his way through the newly refurbished building. After the publicity from Coyote vs. Acme, the small law firm he worked at had grown considerably with all the new cases they had been taking on. It was hard work, and pretty taxing, although Kevin had found it to become much more enjoyable than the "work" he was doing before.
He opened the door to his office, a creaking sound escaping from the hinges. Wasn't this door new? Kevin's suspicions rose as he turned on the lights. With all this toon stuff going on you didn't really know what to expect anymore. Everything in the room looked unchanged, except for the desk chair turned the opposite way, and a feint sound of a carrot being crunched.
Kevin walked in, closing the door behind him. The chair swiveled to reveal none other than Bugs Bunny, munching on a carrot in his usual fashion. "So..." Bugs said. "What's up doc?" The rabbit smiled, and got up from the chair, wiping imaginary dust off of his imaginary lapel. The lawyer sighed. He had a feeling it was going to be a long day.
A grave expression came upon Bugs' face as he took his seat in the chair in front of the desk. "Look doc...I came here for a very important reason." Kevin sat in his chair and took out his notebook. "Y'see, I didn't help you out with the Acme case for nothin', other than the fact that Wile E. is an ol' friend o' mine o' course, but the truth is...I have a case of my own that I need a bit o' your help with."
After receiving the incredibly helpful information Bugs gave them during the Coyote vs. Acme, Kevin had a feeling the rabbit knew more than he let on. Now he was going to figure out for himself what that was exactly. Plus, he did need to return the favour. "Alright then..." Kevin said. "What's this case about?"
Bugs took a deep breath. It seemed that whatever it was Bugs had been harbouring he had been doing it for a long time. "It all started when I used to work for Warner Brothers...I was an actor, makin' skits n' stuff you dig?" He looked down and clasped his hands together. "My husband Daffy worked there with me. We were happy for a while, 'y'know making people laugh is what toons do best."
"Waitaminute-hold up, you and Daffy are-"
"Of course! Keep up with the program doc! I even have the ring to prove it." He brought out his hand (or was it a paw?) and moved his fur to reveal a golden wedding band.
"Anyway...we had-have- 3 kids together. Their names are Yakko, Wakko, and Dot. They joined the industry with us, somethin' about lookin' up to your pops..." Tears welled in Bugs' eyes, and his voice faltered. "Some role models we were...Warner Brothers grew more n' more demanding, to the point where they kidnapped our kids and locked them in the water tower, just because we couldn't meet their impossible standards!" Tears started falling from his eyes. "Poor Daffy couldn't take it…and..." Kevin recalled when they went to the psych ward and found the poor guy there. He never stopped and wondered what could cause such a reaction. Now that he knew, it was no wonder Daffy went crazy when he heard the word Acme. He made a mental note to apologize about that later.
"Don't worry Mr. Bunny, We here at Avery, Jones, and Maltese will make sure that you will get justice for what Acme was done to you and your family, I promise." Kevin grabbed a tissue box from the shelf behind him. "Here, have a tissue." Bugs took out a handful of tissues, blew his nose very, very, loudly, and then proceeded to daintily dab at his eyes to soak up the tears. He sniffled. "Thanks a lot doc…I mean it." Kevin nodded. "Of course. One question though..." He flipped back to a previous page in his notebook. "You said your kids are being locked in a water tower...right?"
The rabbit sighed. "Yep, my intel doesn't say otherwise. The kids keep on escapin' though, causing all the trouble they can for those bozos lockin' 'em up." A smile came across Bugs' face. "Acme took 'em from us when they were 'yay high," his hand (or paw? seriously which is it?) reached down to the floor to mime the hight of a small child. "…so we didn't really have a lot of time before... y'know. But even back then I knew, they were the craziest little kids there ever was. They took care of each other for this long."
Kevin smiled too. It looked like Bugs Bunny was determined to get his family back together. With every case he took on, Acme just seemed to get more and more corrupt than he could ever imagine.
"Well...for any legal case, you need evidence."
Bugs looked at him questioningly. "Are you saying...."
"Yep. We're going to break into Warner Brothers, get evidence, and take their butt to court!" He pumped his fist into the air enthusiastically, while Bugs looked onward.
"...Alright doc...let's do it." His hand (or paw, I don't even know at this point...) outstretched. Kevin shook it, sealing the deal.
"Alright, real quick, I do need you to sign a whole bunch of legal documents for this, a handshake doesn't cut it in court."
Just then, Paige peeked into the office. "Don't worry about it! I already had him sign everything, photocopied it, and had it added to the system!"
Kevin let out a chuckle. His niece sure was something!
In the end...it was official....
They were going to sue Acme in a major, once in a lifetime case.
...
...again.