Chapter Text
Katrina is in love with her best friend.
She comes to this realization while out with said best friend, Janet. There were no fireworks or explosions in the background. It wasn’t like the movies where they both survive something traumatic and have some emotional moment.
No, it happens when they’re out having some lunch. Janet laughs at one of her jokes, she shakes her head and she looks at her with a grin filled with teeth. True happiness is written all over her face, her light blue light eyes crinkle at the edges, her small dimples that only form when she smiles are on display. She has a light blush on her cheeks from the cold bitter winds of fall. Janet is beautiful. If Katrina had a pen and paper at this moment, she could easily write thousands of poems about her beauty.
Katrina is left dumbfounded, she doesn’t add on to the joke to keep that expression on her face. Nor does she laugh along. She just simply…stares.
Suddenly, she feels bashful, almost embarrassed to be around Janet while she’s in this state. It feels too close, too intimate.
Within the first week of knowing Janet, Katrina has had small feelings that she didn’t care to name. It was fine. They were tiny, just the occasional thought of her looking prettier than any of the other women. Or a small proud boiling feeling when she makes her laugh.
This entire time, it’s been a tiny voice in the back of her head. Nothing urgent, just a fact. She likes Janet a little more than she should. And that was it. Nothing more, nothing less. Now however, her mind is blearing. Now it’s impossible to tuck away and forget about it.
The voice is begging to be heard. Pleading to be taken seriously for once. To stop being put away in the furthest corner of her brain. Ignoring it had become so normal for Katrina that she failed to notice how it’s been growing over the years.
It’s too loud, too strong to be ignored now. It’s too late.
The gods must’ve seen Katrina’s inner turmoil since the waiter walks over to them asking if they’re ready for the check. Saving her from the embarrassment she most likely would’ve felt once Janet asked what was wrong. She’s gotten so good at reading her. Janet went from never understanding her to understanding better than most people. Katrina swallows, her eyes purposely avoid Janet’s blinding face before she gets the urge to ask her to elope.
Janet exhales, holding back her remaining laughter. “I think we are, Katrina?” She looks at her, their eyes meeting. Katrina’s haywire thoughts come to a halt. Her mind quiets, Janet’s voice being the red light to any new upcoming thinking prompts. Katrina clears her throat, “da”, she looks at the waiter, “we’re ready.”
They split the bill like always, yet this time, Katrina wishes they only had to use one card.
No doubt, her want has grown. She wants badly.
……
They go their separate ways, both having lives to get back to.
Katrina’s day goes by normally, she picks up the boys from her moms, they get home, she cleans, now she’s making dinner.
Everything goes how it should. Yet, it’s different. Because now, there’s a little reminder at the back of her head. She’s in love with Janet.
She groans in the middle of making spaghetti. The thought only gets louder. Katrina takes out her frustration on the poor noodles, stirring til her arms hurt.
Misha and Sergei watch their mother from afar, they exchange looks of confusion. “Our spaghetti is going to be mush by the time she’s done…” Sergei pouts, he’s been looking forward to that spaghetti. Misha scoffs, “who cares about some noodles?!” He exclaims in a whisper-yell, “I want to figure out what’s up with mother.”
Sergei shrugs, “it’s mom. She’s probably just having a bad day.” Misha frowns, not believing that for a second.
……
“It’s been a while since my divorce.” Janet says, taking a bite of her chocolate croissant. She chews a bit before speaking, “I wanna start dating.” Her voice is a bit muffled from the food in her mouth but Katrina understands every word. “Start dating…?” She asks, a bit too softly. “Yeah, I think it’s about time I find somebody.” Janet continues speaking but Katrina doesn’t register any of it. Katrina shifts in her seat, this is the last thing she was expecting when agreeing to help Janet.
They barely just sat down on Janet’s sofa, their coffees both still too hot to enjoy. Janet sits back, taking another bite. “You’re the only one I can trust with this. My ma is well—my ma. Carol is…” She huffs, amused, “she'll set me up with some pastor.”
If Katrina had heard that in different circumstances, she would’ve laughed. “Not very good choices.” She says, voice as neutral as always. “Who are you looking for?”
Janet leans forward, tapping her fingers on her coffee cup. “Kind, likes wine, funny, good looking, uh…nonjudgmental?” She shrugs, “I’m really okay with anything.”
Her words settle in Katrina’s heart, she has to bite back a frown. She’s none of those things. Except maybe the good looking one?
She’s been called many things, ugly has never been amongst them. Whatever that means.
Katrina doesn’t look at Janet, she keeps her eyes on her own chocolate croissant that she’s been twirling around. “Have you met anyone?” Janet shakes her head, “nope. I haven’t gotten the chance. I’ve downloaded some dating apps but I don’t be too dependent on them. Last thing I need is accidentally inviting a killer to my life.” Janet scoffs, “though, he would probably be a better boyfriend than Roger ever was.”
“Maybe you should just wait…? Instead of…” Katrina pursues her lips, “instead of just jumping right into it. The right person will come,” she finally looks at Janet, her gray eyes meeting her blue, “you just have to let them.” "That only matters if there is a person to come..." Janet mumbles. Katrina has to bite her cheek it takes everything in her to say that she's here. That she wants to be let in. She stays quiet. Putting her eyes back to food that stirs no interest or desire.
The topic doesn't get brought up again.