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Roadrunner has always thought of himself as easy to please, but maybe that was only because he had been somewhat pampered most of his life. He was incredibly lucky to have found his mate so young, and they had been able to spend so many decades together. Little brings Roadie more joy than running around with his coyote. Wile had always done the absolute most to get his attention. He would chase him every day, set up silly traps, hide food for him, and make sure to mix in sunflower seeds- Roadie’s favorite. Roadrunner had always played along, eating everything Wile left for him, running away when one of his coyote’s traps failed, doubling back to make sure that Wile was alright, before sticking his tongue out, beeping, and disappearing in another cloud of dust. Roadie had always been the fastest around, and the only person who was ever even close to keeping up with him in the exhilarating chase was Wile. So yeah, he found his life very carefree and happy.
There was only one problem. After nearly eight decades, Wile still hadn’t tried to make anything official. Sure, he was constantly courting Roadie, but he never made a move past the gifts and chasing. Roadie thought he had been obvious enough flirting back. He would always eat what was left for him and allow the chase to continue. He would check on him and blow raspberries and coo, but clearly Wile doesn't feel confident enough to pursue any further, which means that Roadie is going to have to up his game. As much as he loves the chase, he’s ready to finally put that nest he’s been building since he was a chick to good use. He’s ready to settle down with his mate, build a proper life, and hopefully still chase one another across the desert for countless more years.
With his newfound determination, Roadie zips through the desert, looking for the coyote. He finds him quickly, setting up a new trap. He smiles more broadly as he sets eyes on his mate. Before Wile even has the chance to look up, Roadie is at his side.
Beep beep! He chirps affectionately.
Wile is so startled that he shoots ten feet in the air, smashing into some protruding rocks above, before crashing down to earth with a dizzying smack. Stars dance over his head, but before he can recover his wits, Roadie leans down and nuzzles his beak into Wile’s cheek. The coyote freezes, his eyes growing wide in apparent confusion. Roadie coos softly and blows a gentle raspberry into Wile’s soft fur, before pulling back, beeping, and zipping away. He glances behind himself happily, and revels in the warm flush over his mate’s dazed face.
A few hours later, he spots Wile again. He’s standing atop a cliff, carefully calculating its measurements to plan for his next trap. This time, the coyote sees Roadie coming. He angles himself to lunge off the cliff, then jumps, seemingly forgetting about the distance to the ground. Roadie stops running, and watches as Wile looks down at the desert floor below, gravity kicks in, and he crashes to the ground yet again. Roadie zips next to him and waits for the spirals to fade from his eyes. When they finally do, Roadie chirps happily and begins pressing his beak all over Wile’s face, peppering him with kisses. When Roadie finally pulls away, Wile is looking up at him, bewildered and with widened eyes. Roadie can’t help but notice the faint blush slowly spreading across his mate’s face, so he decides to be bold and plant a kiss right on Wile’s lips.
Beep beep. He chirps softly against Wile’s mouth, and before his mate can regain his composure, Roadie sticks out his tongue and shoots off into the desert.
The weeks continue on like this. Roadie flirts and kisses and coos. He leaves snacks and gifts at Wile's home. He even almost lets his coyote catch him a few times. And yet, Wile still is not making any further moves. He doesn’t lean away or dodge Roadie’s affection, but he doesn’t quite reciprocate either. He still tries to capture the roadrunner as usual, acting as if nothing has changed between the two. Roadie would feel more perturbed, if it weren’t for how red and still Wile gets when receiving attention from him. The coyote also makes no attempt to capture Roadie when he kisses him. He just blushes and waits for Roadie to smile, beep, and run away before resuming the chase. Wile’s traps have also become less... successful somehow. Well, they were never very successful anyway, but recently they seem to be falling apart much sooner, and almost every trap has been, almost intentionally, leaving Wile stuck in some way, shape, or form. Whether that be under a boulder, in a net, or pinned between two rocks. Every time, he would pretend to be frustrated, but calm down and go quiet as Roadie approached to kiss him. Everything was going according to plan. Roadie knew (hoped) that soon, Wile would start reciprocating the affection, and finally accept his role as his mate.
He was certain of this plan being effective, until one fateful day.
Roadrunner suddenly couldn’t find his coyote anywhere. He ran all across the desert, searching for his mate, only to be met by nothing but hot, dusty terrain. He constantly zipped to and from Wile’s cave, only to find it empty. Sure, all his stuff was still there, so he knew that he couldn’t have simply left without a trace, but he still began to worry. Has something happened to his beloved Wile? He cannot accept it, of course something would go wrong right as Roadie had finally gotten the coyote to begin to accept his affection and their official courtship.
And so it went for two more days. Roadie couldn’t find his mate anywhere, and his anxiety only grew. As well as his boredom. Normally, his days followed a similar routine. Play with Wile, tease him, (and as of late) kiss him, repeat, then zip home when the sun begins to set and daydream about seeing him again. These past few days alone have been dreadfully dull. As the evening crept to nightfall, Roadie found himself at his coyote’s den. He tentatively stepped inside, taking in the scent of his mate. He was scared for Wile. Where could he possibly be? He walked slowly to Wile’s bed and nestled in. It made him slightly less anxious, to be in his mate’s space. His scent always calmed him down. He curled up and slipped into a stress filled slumber.
On the third morning of his absence, Roadie was startled awake by the sound of footsteps and muffled speech. It took him a few seconds to gather his bearings. Oh, right. He had slept in Wile’s den last night. The thought made him a little giddy, but before he had time to dwell on it, he heard the voices getting clearer. He zipped out of his coyote’s den to hide behind a nearby rock. To his delight, he spotted Wile. Thank goodness, he didn’t seem harmed. Just as Roadie was about to dart out and tackle his mate, he froze. There was someone with him.
Bugs Bunny.
Now to say that Roadrunner always disliked Bugs would be a lie. Bugs had always been witty and kind, and most toons loved him. He was sociable and funny. Roadie admired him, as many did. But everything changed a few decades back, when he sprained his leg. He thought it would be funny to recruit Bugs as a stand in for a day or two while he healed. He thought Wile would have a laugh, maybe chase him a bit, and be excited when his mate returned. What he hadn't expected, however, was that Bugs would be a relentless flirt. He even kissed Wile a few times. His Wile. When Roadie found out, he was extremely angry and refused to chase with his coyote for a week. He also vowed to never allow Bugs near Wile again. So imagine his disdain when Bugs and Wile enter the den. Just the two of them. Alone. Roadrunner stalks behind them. Close enough to see and hear them, but not in a way that made his presence obvious. Bugs is talking casually. “I can’t thank you enough Wile. Though, I’m surprised you came as soon as I asked. Normally, you’re too busy trying to catch that roadrunner, and it can take you weeks to get back to me.”
Wile turns away and holds up a sign.
[I’VE HAD A LOT ON MY MIND. NEEDED A BREAK.]
“A break from what? I feel like your guys’s game is pretty simple. You chase, you fail, you explode somehow, and Roadie speeds away, unscathed.” As he speaks, Bugs begins walking around, eyeing all of Wile’s things. For a split second, he glances in the bird’s direction, and it seems like he makes eye contact with Roadie, who jumps a little in surprise, but the moment passes quickly and Bugs keeps looking around as if he didn’t see him. Hmm. Maybe Roadie imagined it.
Wile shrugs, still not facing Bugs.
“Well, whatever the reason, I’m glad you came.” Bugs reaches over and places a hand on Wile’s shoulder, gently turning him to be eye to eye with him. “I had missed seeing you around.”
Wile blinks, then nods.
“I was having it rough with Daffy, y’know. He’s always up to something and then Lola needed me and your help meant a lot.” Bugs begins to bat his eyelashes, ever so slightly. “Y’know… since you’re a genius and everything.”
Roadrunner feels an angry heat begin to pool in his stomach. Bugs has always been known to be a bit of a flirt, but was he seriously trying to make a move on his Wile? Again? Surely he isn’t that dumb. As charming and silly as Bugs could be, he was also incredibly smart and observant. He must know by now that Roadrunner and Wile were courting.
[OH. THANK YOU.] Wile’s sign reads. Roadie’s feathers seem to stand straight up as he watches a warm glow spread over his coyote’s face. As of late, he had seen Wile blushing many, many times- but this time, he didn’t like it so much.
Bugs’s face erupts in a stupid, smug smile, and he continues. “Y’know, you would have so much more time for your gadgets and skills if you weren’t always chasing that pesky bird.”
Wile blinks again, the pink disappearing from his face.
“Why do you still chase him, Wile? You could hang out with me instead of him. I’m sure I am better company.”
Wile frowns.
[IT’S COMPLICATED.]
To Roadie’s horror, Bugs grabs Wile and plants a kiss on his cheek. The rabbit pulls back, smirking and wiggling his eyebrows. “It’s alright, doc. Things don’t have to be complicated with m-”
In a flash, Bugs is pinned against the ground.
Beep beep! Beep beep beep! Roadie chirps angrily. Bugs’s smile only grows. “Look who finally decided to show his beak around here.” He teases.
Roadie angrily pulls out a sign of his own. [STAY AWAY FROM MY MATE.]
Wile makes a squeaking sound of shock from the corner, but Roadie is too angry to notice.
“Don’t worry Doc. I was just riling you up. No one is coming for your… mate.” Bugs lingers on the last word, relishing in it. “I noticed you peeping from outside, and thought I’d test out my theory.”
Roadie’s glare only deepens. He presses down on Bugs’s chest.
“Looks like I was correct. I’ll leave you two alone now, alright?”
Roadie beeps angrily, presses down on his chest a little harder one last time for good measure, then steps off. Bugs rubs his chest where Roadie’s claw had been. Then he turns to Wile and smirks. “Well, thanks for the help. Have fun.” He winks, then finally leaves the den.
The second he is out of sight, Roadie zips to Wile’s side. His coyote gasps, as Roadie begins inspecting every inch of him. He nuzzles the cheek where Bugs had kissed him, then licked it. Wile shudders a little, but again, makes no attempt to move. When Roadie steps away, he’s smiling again.
[WHERE WERE YOU? I WAS WORRIED.]
Wile looks sheepish. [BUGS WANTED MY ASSISTANCE, AND I THOUGHT A FEW DAYS TO THINK WOULD BE HELPFUL.]
Roadrunner coos as he holds up his sign. [WAS IT HELPFUL? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING ABOUT?]
Wile’s face reddens. [IT.. WAS HELPFUL.]
[AND? WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT?]
[IT DOESN’T MATTER.] His mate looks like he could die of embarrassment right then and there. He shakily pulls out a new sign. The writing was much smaller on this one.
[YOU SAID I WAS YOUR MATE.]
Beep beep. Roadie smiles. [YOU ARE MY MATE.]
Wile gulps. [HOW LONG HAVE YOU SEEN US AS MATES?]
[THE WHOLE TIME.]
Wile can’t suppress his shock. His eyes are as wide as plates and his jaw drops. He sheepishly picks it back up.
Roadie chirps and nuzzles his face into Wile’s soft chest fur. Wile stiffens, as usual, but something feels different this time. Roadie lifts his head and begins kissing all over his mate’s face. Wile closes his eyes. When he finally plants his beak on his coyote’s lips, Wile ever so slowly melts into it, finally kissing him back. Roadie sighs contentedly. He feels lightheaded and giddy as Wile wraps his arms around him. They kiss like that for a long time. When Wile finally pulls away, his face is similar to the color of a tomato. Roadie smiles, pecks his cheek one more time, beeps, and nudges his mate to the bed. Wile lies down nervously. Roadie follows, curling up in the crook of his coyote's arm. He nuzzles Wile’s face before resting his head on the soft fur on his chest. Finally feeling at home, he slips into a dreamless sleep.
* * *
The following morning, Roadie wakes up before the sun has even begun to light up the sky. He turns his head and admires his mate in the pale light of the moon. Wile is still asleep, his chest rising and falling gently. Roadie chirps softly and disentangles himself from his coyote’s embrace. He stretches his legs and decides to zip over to his nest. He wants to invite Wile to see it. He wants to spend the rest of his life with Wile. He wants them to be together, forever, and maybe in the future, they could have some chicks! Or would it be pups? Roadie isn’t sure, but he’s incredibly excited to begin this new chapter of their story. Time to pretty up the nest and show Wile.
* * *
[WAKE UP!] Roadie waves the sign and gently nuzzles his mate’s face. Wile groans and tries to roll away, but Roadie just follows his movement and plops himself onto the coyote’s chest. He gently licks Wile’s forehead, then kisses his lips. Wile’s eyes shoot open. His face immediately turns red, and steam pours from his ears. Roadie chirps happily and pulls away, but to his shock, Wile sits up quickly, takes Roadie’s face, and pulls him into another kiss. Now it was the bird’s turn to blush. When they finally separate, both are dazed and red in the face. Roadie giggles a little and looks away while Wile covers his eyes.
Roadie carefully steps off of his mate and smiles shyly, pulling out a new sign.
[I WANNA SHOW YOU SOMETHING.]
Though Wile still looks sheepish, he removes his palms from his eyes, stands, and dusts himself off.
[WHAT IS IT?]
Beep beep. [A SURPRISE. AT MY PLACE.]
Roadie’s face splits into a huge grin as he pulls out a new sign.
[RACE YOU THERE!]
Wile blinks once, then mirrors Roadie’s smile.
[I'M SO GOING TO CATCH YOU THIS TIME.]
Roadie winks.
Beep beep!
Then he blows a raspberry and zips away, flying through the desert, with his mate hot on his heels. Who knows? Maybe this time, he’ll let his coyote catch him.