Chapter Text
UJI 13-1415 NMRA.
"The provider must use ordinary care to warn about a risk of injury. However, there is no duty to warn about a risk unknown to the provider, unless, through the use of ordinary care, the provider should have known about the risk."
Under the plaintiff's 'product liability' claim, a product presents an unreasonable risk of injury if it is placed on the market without warning of a risk that could be avoided by adequate warning.
[The supplier has no duty to warn about risks that the supplier can reasonably expect to be obvious or known to foreseeable users of the product.]
After the incident with ACME, small businesses begin to reemerge, and with them, some that start specializing in toons once it is discovered that they are a profitable market. After all, with the toons returning to their original territories, forgotten duels and small-scale chases begin to resurface. Old Elmer, for example, upon learning that rabbit played a key role in why ACME ends up in the dump, decides to resume his role as a hunter. Bugs Bunny doesn't care much, but first he makes sure to get the rest of the Toons out of that psychiatric facility—which is passed off as a supposed escape organized from within—especially Daffy Duck. Doc McStuffins, the hospital's main representative, shrugs when interviewed, and after a while, the world stops caring. They collectively decide that the Toons aren't much of a threat (except to themselves), and that's a significant step forward for them.
In fact, no one finds out that it is the rabbit who orchestrates the whole thing, except for Kevin, who finds out from Paige, who in turn finds out from Tweety, whom the Roadrunner kindly asks—threatens—to share the information.
In any case, ACME products become, over time, almost collector's items, with some people paying top dollar for the destruction of the company's remaining warehouses. Furthermore, many products are manufactured by Dr. Lorre, and some other animated characters join him. They have a slogan: "Cartoon products made for tunes." Wile has a paradise of new things to try and different brands that are starting to emerge, so, for about three months, he remains euphoric and silent regarding Kevin and Paige, even though his lawyer constantly strives to send letters and eagerly awaits his next visit.
After that, the Coyote shows up at Kevin's motel room. Kevin still hasn't managed to find a decent apartment—he's too indecisive when it comes to choosing one—and without Wile to push him to pick one, he's been staying in that tiny place, where he's occasionally interviewed. It's a little awkward to do it right there, but on the bright side, some news outlets call him "humble" and "stoic" about it.
Avery is turning on the TV to spend the next few hours watching some trashy show until he falls asleep when he hears incessant banging on his door. He yells that he's coming, that they should stop, and at one point, a few expletives slip out of his mouth. Before he has the chance to complete the word "idiot", he opens the door and finds himself face-to-face with the Coyote. He immediately steps back, and a smile lights up his face. "Coyote!" he exclaims, trying to give him a hug, which the toon reluctantly accepts, patting him on the back before abruptly pushing him away. He owes him that, anyway, for all that time he's been silent.
"How's it going? Trouble in paradise?" He tries to joke awkwardly and at the wrong moment. Wile doesn't seem to care, but he does roll his eyes and tap his foot lightly.
Faced with no response, he asks again. "Listen, it's not that I'm not happy to see you. But what are you doing here? It's like ten o'clock at night! I have to go to work tomorrow!" He complains, and the Coyote seems to be searching through his… fur? Suddenly, he pulls out something that looks like a toy gun and a small piece of coated paper, the kind they use for product instructions.
"What's this? Is it a gift?" He picks up both objects curiously. The Coyote shakes his head. On the piece of paper it says:
GUN TO TURN ANIMATED BEINGS INTO HUMANS.
BRAND: EMCA
"Dude, where'd you get this? Did someone give it to you?" He examines it. It is red with blue hues. He makes a gesture as if to shoot, only for the Toon to grab his arm firmly, as if Kevin is foolish enough to pull the trigger.
"I FOUND IT"
"Really? Isn't this a trap? What are you going to use it for?"
"ROADRUNNER"
"Do you want to...do you want to turn your rival/friend into a human? Why? Aren't toons supposed to prefer staying away from humans most of the time? Or is this a really far-fetched plan?"
"YES"
"Yes what??"
He rummages through his fur again until he pulls out a blue cardboard, which he hands to him impatiently. It is, in fact, a list with drawings of his next idea. At the top it says:
1. Corner the Roadrunner
2. Turn him into a human
3. To catch
4. Kevin and I eat together
"Look, buddy, I'm flattered. But after everything that's happened, is this really the right thing to do? I mean, the bird has feelings. It stood up for you in court. Wouldn't this be like... something horrifying?"
There's no answer.
Kevin snorts. "Besides, why turn it into a human? So you'll feel better about eating it? Listen, I don't know if you're aware, but cannibalism is illegal, and I'd rather not go to jail. I'm not signing up for this."
He gets a little kick to the fibula. "Ow! What's wrong with you?" The Coyote frantically points at the plan and then brings his index fingers to his head—a gesture indicating that he expects more reasoning from him. Kevin reads the cardboard once more, though he still doesn't understand. "Can't you elaborate? I'm not a genius like you! I'm just an underpaid lawyer!"
"IT'S A LIMITED NUMBER OF SIGNS" Damn it. It is true. Huffing, Kevin goes back into the motel room and rummages through his things until he finds a notebook and a pen he uses to jot down reminders. He goes back out and hands them to the Coyote, who already looks annoyed; the Coyote practically snatches them out of his hands before sketching carelessly and with surprising speed. He holds up the notebook as if it is a signboard.
It is a poorly drawn diagram - at first, Kevin and the Coyote appear at an angle where they can shoot the Roadrunner. Then there is a sort of depiction of the... human Roadrunner? tied up, and next to it, a small caption that reads: "Humans can't escape." Ah. That isn't very flattering for Kevin. Finally, the lawyer and the Coyote are seen shooting once more, which apparently reverses the effect—with the Roadrunner now trapped, Wile can finally fulfill his long-held goal.
It is good—not even he can deny it. But the question that has been hanging in the air for a few minutes finally comes out. "Why do you need me there?"
As if he is explaining it to a five-year-old with some cognitive difficulties, Wile sighs in annoyance. He writes something down, looking uneasy.
"BAD LUCK"
"The biggest euphemism of the century"
"IN CASE I BECOME HUMAN" He turns the page; the guy can't write in lowercase and it takes up all the space. "YOU'LL BE THERE"
"So can I help you?"
A nod.
It makes sense. In fact, Kevin thinks the worst-case scenario is more likely. Murphy's Law: anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. Wile applies it more often than he expects. For a moment, he considers declining the invitation.
...But the Coyote comes all this way to make the request—even if it sounds more like a threat—and he is one of his few friends, if not the only one. His heart warms at the thought that the toon still chooses him for this kind of things.
Maybe it's because this is the first time something like this happens to him: Avery has never been the popular kid in school, and he struggles through law school. Before the cartoon comes along, he spends his time feeling miserable and with an inflated ego—just to hide his own flaws. It's embarrassing to think how a guy who's spent his life chasing a roadrunner through the desert has changed his life, but it is true. He doesn't want to admit it, but during that quiet time when the Coyote isn't answering his letters, his self-esteem certainly takes a bit of a nosedive. He's always been a bit dependent.
Besides, even if it goes wrong, that's what laughter is for, right? His shoulders relax. He needs a break from the heavy workload they've been having at the law firm. They've had case after case based on what happened with ACME.
"Okay, bud. When are we leaving?"
He hopes he doesn't sound too anxious, even though he's already scratching his hands.
Chapter One:
"It's because of people like you that they put instructions on shampoos."
"How many things can you store in your fur? Why can you only carry a few signs?"
They're in the New Mexico desert, and, frankly, Kevin is getting impatient. They're on a rocky outcrop, and the Coyote has a pair of binoculars. Down by the road, there's a huge pile of birdseed. There's no glue in sight, just a circle around the seeds, which makes Kevin a little nervous. About fifteen minutes have passed, and neither of them knows when the darn bird will show up. When he asks Wile about it in his cave, Wile just shrugs. Still, at least what he's built for the occasion is impressive.
They had agreed that the lawyer would be the shooter. Why? Because Kevin himself had asked for it, reasoning that if Wile was so unlucky, he wouldn't have so many misfortunes in such a short time. He was human. It would be a piece of cake to shoot and leave. On the condition that Kevin wouldn't eat the roadrunner like a buffet—since, he argued, the creature was fully conscious—and that they would go to a nearby Mexican restaurant instead.
The Toon doesn't even answer him, fed up with his constant questions. Which, honestly, discourages Avery a little. He decides to keep quiet; after about five minutes, he decides it's hot enough to take off his jacket. After ten minutes, his hunger starts to bother him. He left without eating lunch.
At the twenty-minute mark, blue feathers appear, and both of them instantly tense up. Just as expected, the roadrunner abruptly stops what it's doing and begins pecking at the food. A few seconds later, the trap is triggered: the explosives go off, and soon the entire road goes "KA—BOOM!"—except, of course, for that small circle where the roadrunner still stands, remaining motionless for a few seconds—even though it can run away—as it watches the culprits behind the trap. It all happens in a matter of seconds: the Coyote frantically searches for the gun and hands it to Kevin, who isn't the best shot, but still pulls the trigger on a hurried roadrunner that's starting to bolt forward.
And the gun goes off right in his face.
It isn't even… painful. In fact, it doesn't "explode" in the traditional sense. The only signs of it are the loud bang and the impact, which feels more like a burst of air that knocks him backward, until he realizes something is covering his face and smells like something's burning. His eyes are closed, and when he opens them, there's no sign of the gun.
The Coyote has the most guilty expression imaginable.
Does he know this will happen? Maybe Toons feel things differently than humans do, and if it happens to him, it will hurt him... well, that doesn't really make sense. Maybe he just has bad memories of ACME or something like that. Or he's sad because his system failed.
Either way, he decides to comfort him. "Well, that was definitely a boom for our relationship."
That seems to snap Wile back to reality for a second; he grimaces at the attempted joke and roughly grabs Kevin's arm. He examines him anxiously, as if looking for something. After the arm, he moves on to the jacket, the head, and the feet. It's invasive, and Kevin complains as the process unfolds. Wile uses his fingers to lift Kevin's eyelids and, with a small flashlight that appears out of nowhere, checks his eyes. He takes his temperature, blood pressure, and pulse. For a moment, he's Dr. Wile E. Coyote.
"Oh, enough already! You're bothering me! What's wrong with you?!" he exclaims, struggling. He doesn't let go until a few seconds have passed. The Coyote is still worried, but he seems less tense once he sees that nothing has happened. They both stare at each other for a moment before it gets awkward enough for Kevin to break the silence again. "It didn't work, there's nothing we can do about it. We'll have another chance. Dinner? That'll be our consolation prize."
A slight nod from the Coyote is all it takes for them to start heading toward his car. He knows a really good restaurant near his work. The Mexican-style chicken should be enough to satisfy his former client.