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Sizhui fiddled with the ribbons in his hands in an effort to keep himself from bouncing off the walls. The red ribbons were dull with age despite how well Sizhui tried to take care of them. The ribbons had once been on the robe he had been wearing when his Baba found him, they were his sleeve cuffs and his collar. Baba said that he had considered them a little odd in hindsight, they are a far softer material than the rest of the robe and far brighter. Sizhui only knew in reference to the ribbons that his a-niang had patted his head, though his a-niang had patted his head a lot from what little he remembers.
When his Baba had first brought him home Sizhui had been wrapped up tightly in the robe and a larger gray outer robe. Both of which smelt like ash, blood, and death. It smelt like his a-niang. The warmth the robes gave him felt like his a-niang. And when little Sizhui found out that Lan Qiren had the robes washed the little boy had burst tears. Baba had tried really hard to comfort little Sizhui. They ended up letting Sizhui use the robe he had been wearing with the red cuffs and collar as a blanket after he out grew it.
Recently Sizhui had asked his Jiujiu if he could receive his a-niang's sword, Suibian. Jiujiu agreed, and Sizhui told his Baba about it. Baba had offered to make a new tie for the sheath so he could feel a bit more secure with tying the blade to his belt. Sizhui asked if he could use the ribbons for it. When Baba agreed, saying that it was his robe and his choice, they carefully took apart the stitches that connected the ribbons to the robe. Sizhui had held the ribbons up close and swiped his thumb over the hidden embroidery, the longer ribbon from his collar had rabbits embroidered in a slightly lighter red than the ribbon itself, and the two smaller ones from his sleeve cuffs had lotuses in a slightly darker red. He had long memorized the placement of the designs and could tell you how their placed even blindfolded.
He hated bringing the robe out of the jingshi so this would be the first time the ribbons are out in the open since he had been brought to the Cloud Recesses. Sizhui placed the ribbons in his inner sleeve pocket as he knocked on the door of his Jiujiu's office.
"Come in." Jiujiu's gruff voice called out. Sizhui slide the door open and stepped in with a respectful bow before he closed the door behind him.
"Hello Jiang-zongzhu." Sizhui greeted with another bow and jiujiu gave him a light scoff.
"Hello xiao lianhua." Jiujiu gave him a tired smile and stood up from his desk. "Let this jiujiu guess what your here for."
His jiujiu paced the room and gave a show of pretending to be lost in thought before he came to a stop right in front of a shelf that displayed Suibian. The man gazed at the sword for a short moment.
"You must be here for some loquats." Jiujiu joked, but his voice was flat.
"Lotus Pier is home to the finest." Sizhui offered with a smile though jiujiu was facing away from Sizhui.
"The finest indeed." Jiujiu turned to face Sizhui and his heart squeezed painfully at the grief in the man's eyes. "Come here."
Sizhui stepped over to be next to his jiujiu and looked at the sword. The sheath looked brand new and he wondered what the blade itself looked like.
"A-Yuan, Lan Sizhui," Jiujiu held his hand up to Suibian, "this is Suibian. Suibian, this is Wei Wuxian's son."
"Hello Suibian. I hope you don't mind if I wield you." Sizhui bowed to the blade.
"You should reach out to her, see if she'll let you." Jiujiu whispered. "If she doesn't I can have a sword crafted so you can still have a sword from your a-niang's natal sect."
Sizhui nodded and reached to the blade. He took the sheath in his left hand and lifted it off the display stand, and he gently took hold of the handle with his right hand. He paused for a moment before he drew in a deep breath and pulled. The blade moved smoothly out of it's sheath and Sizhui blinked with amazed eyes as his gaze was reflected by the blade. He pulled the blade out enough to see the characters carved just above the handle and drew the sword so the full blade could be released. The teen held the sword up and felt tears gather at his eyes.
"Suibian." His jiujiu was trying to keep his voice steady but Sizhui could tell the man probably wanted to cry. "As you know Wei Wuxian is no longer with us and has been gone for a long time. He gave his life protecting his son, so I asked that you protect him just as faithfully."
Sizhui felt the blade hum in response and gasped at the feeling.
"Are all blades sentient?" He asked.
"Only the best are. When they form a strong enough bond with their person. Suibian has been in mourning too." Jiujiu explained.
Sizhui nodded and stared in awe at the blade.
"I hope you don't mind," Sizhui set the sheath back on the shelf and reached into his sleeve pocket to pull out the ribbon, "but Baba and I put some ribbons from my one robe together to make a tie for your sheath and my belt."
When Sizhui offered the ribbons to Suibian the blade started to hum more and his jiujiu froze.
"Where did you get those?" Jiujiu asked with a tremble in his voice.
"They were sown onto my robe when I was little, the robe I had on when Baba found me. The one with rabbits was my collar and the ones with lotuses were my sleeve cuffs." Sizhui explained and Suibian continued to hum.
"Do you know how you got them?" Jiujiu's voice started to rise and Sizhui took note of the complicate emotions stirring in the man's eyes and posture.
"I think my a-niang sown them on. But I don't know where he got them." Sizhui offered. "Do you know jiujiu?"
"The one with rabbits was from his muqin, your nainai. He stopped wearing it shortly after she died, if he ever did at all, and often kept it tied around his wrist under his arm guard. One of the things he got from fuqin when he first arrived was a red ribbon so he wouldn't have to worry about damaging that one. During the Sun Shot Campaign his ribbon was another of the many items damaged. After the war a-jie bought a new ribbon and embroidered it herself with lotuses. When I first saw him after he left to the Burial Mounds with the Wens he was wearing it. When I saw him again with a-jie it looked like he tore off a strip of his inner robe to use as a ribbon. After the siege happened I figured they were lost." His jiujiu let out a sad laugh as he recalled the last moments of his ge and Sizhui felt his heart squeeze for his a-niang, jiujiu, and a-yi. "But him sowing them around your coffs and collar makes sense. The originals were probably fraying, our shidis and shimeis would complain about it nonstop until theirs was fixed. Wuxian had learn how to mend and sow soon after he got here, he would fix his clothes instead of asking for new ones. When our shidis and shimeis found out they'd beg him to fix their clothing."
Sizhui watched as the man walked back over to his desk and opened a drawer, taking out a piece of paper an closing the drawer. Jiujiu held the paper out to Sizhui who stepped over and pressured his lips together. The picture was of two people that he'd only in the paintings in Lotus Pier. His a-niang and a-yi sat side by side with wide smiles that reached their eyes and fabrics in their hand. If he were to make a guess based off of what he now knows his a-niang must have been mending something and his a-yi must have been embroidering something else. Sizhui reached out for the picture and held it in his hand carefully. This is one of few that are in color. The colors were bright and blended together.
"Is this new?" Sizhui asked as he studied it.
"It's a new copy, there's another one that was made when this happened. The shimei that did it decided to add their smiles when they realized she was painting them." Jiujiu laughed and shook his head. "She gave me this copy yesterday and asked me to give it to you when you came."
"Where is she? I'd like to thank her." Sizhui couldn't bring himself to tear his gaze away from his a-niang's face. His a-niang looked so happy here. Was he ever this happy in Sizhui's memories?
"She went out for a night hunt and won't return until tomorrow morning." Jiujiu sighed. "I will let you know when she gets back."
"Thank you jiujiu." Sizhui bowed, keeping his eyes on the picture that sat above the ribbons in his hand and he couldn't help but move them away a bit so his tears wouldn't ruin them.
"It's no problem xiao lianhua." Jiujiu rested a hand on Sizhui's shoulder and gave it a squeeze.
Sizhui leaned forward and rested his forehead against the man's shoulder as his own shook as more tears began to fall. Suibian hummed softly and Sizhui wondered if it was possible that a part of his a-niang was in the sword, if this is how his a-niang will protect him from diyu. He wonders if that means his a-niang won't reincarnate and is ashamed of himself immediately for not minding if that was the case. He hopes his a-niang would forgive him for it, and with the comforting hum from Suibian he can imagine his a-niang laughing and saying there's nothing to forgive with a lighter but similar tone that his baba uses when he says they are family have have no need for sorrys.