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Sabine heard footsteps coming down the hall to her medbay room, the same room that Ezra had been sitting in a week ago when all of this had first happened, and looked up from her sketchpad. She quickly set aside the pad and the pastel stick she was coloring with and sat up in the bed.
She was hoping it was Ezra coming to visit but she wasn't sure it was likely. Not with how guilty he'd been over the reason why she was there.
Her visitor appeared in the doorway.
It was Kanan, who already had a stern frown on his face with his arms beginning to cross. Sabine sighed and prepared herself for the incoming lecture.
"You should have waited for backup," Kanan told her, the anger mixed with a trace of worry in his tone.
"Then Maul would have just used Ezra to slaughter them all!" Sabine defended, clenching her fists and drawing herself up as straight as she could. "You know he would have."
Kanan huffed in aggravation. "You could have at least waited until I could get back," he still tried to argue.
Sabine glared. They both knew Kanan would have never left Ezra with Maul longer than he could help it, if their positions had been reversed. "And that would have been exactly what Maul wanted," she countered hotly. She folded her own arms over her petite chest, dwarfed in the medical scrub shirt they had given her. "Did Ezra tell you what Maul was planning to do with all that ordinance he'd nicked from us?"
Kanan's face softened, losing the anger and hard edges.
"Yeah. He did," he said quietly.
Both of them held for a moment of somber contemplation, tempers cooling. Sabine's mind flicked back to the frantic questions when the rescue team had found them, on the other side of the krykna caves, Ezra stammering and shaking through an explanation about a makeshift bomb intended to be planted under the Ghost, powerful enough to destroy the whole base.
A horrified Sato had given a kill on sight order to the team he'd sent after Sabine, set them digging through the pile for confirmation of a body and when Maul had emerged disoriented and unarmed but somehow still alive after being crushed under all that rubble the jumpy, terrified Rebels didn't even hesitate and raised their blasters all in unison, filling the dark night with bright red laser streaks.
They'd shot him until he wasn't moving anymore, body slumped over on the rock pile like limp tar. The firing went quiet for half a second.
And then they'd shot him some more just to be sure.
...And then a little bit more, just for safety.
Once Sato was satisfied, the body was collected, examined, and then buried, the process quick and clinical. Ezra had insisted upon seeing. Even though he must have felt the death through the Force, he'd begged Sabine to watch them put him in the dirt, and Sabine hadn't had the heart to tell him no, even though her back screamed out in need of quick treatment.
Eventually her medical situation was triaged at the site and both of them were loaded back up to return to the base. She'd tried to hang onto Ezra's hand the whole time, not wanting to let him go, but he was pulled away for debriefing before long, questioned outside her room in the makeshift medbay, close enough that she could hear him crying through the account of Maul forcing him to cut up her back with his own lightsaber.
She wished the medics would just clear her for duty already, because she had to get back to him and tell him all over again that it wasn't his fault.
Kanan cleared his throat, softly, drawing her attention back out of her memories. She focused in on him, on the sober expression on the half of his face not covered by his eyemask.
"I'm sorry, Sabine..." he began. "I should've been here. This was never your battle to fight and I'm sorry that you had to, to keep Ezra safe. I'm glad you did... and I'm glad you're both okay."
Her eyes softened. "Have you seen him?"
Kanan shook his head.
"He's been avoiding me," he confessed grimly.
Sabine sighed. Typical. "I'll see if I can help you pin him down once they let me out of here." She slumped back against her pillow. "And it had better be soon because I'm almost out of pages in my sketchbook," she grumbled.
Kanan chuckled shortly. "I'll bring you another one if I can," he promised.
"Thanks." Before he departed she called out after him, "Kanan?"
He turned back.
"Did we still want to try resetting Ezra's code word?" she asked. It had been the plan before Maul had taken action, but seemed moot now that the Zabrak was dead. A couple other Rebels besides their own team had heard Maul speak the trigger word that snapped Ezra into blind mindless obedience and if she were more paranoid about their loyalty or ability to hold up under interrogation, she might have recommended to Rebel Command that they still dose Ezra with the IX serum again, give the new trigger to only one other person who could be trusted.
But since those other Rebels were ground staff technicians, frankly, things would have to go catastrophically bad for their little Rebel cell on Atollon before anyone would be in danger of giving that information up. And she knew the Ghost crew would never.
Kanan confirmed his opinion, at least, with a solemn shake of his head. "No. I won't put him through the regime again. It's enough that Maul is dead," he told her.
"I hope Command sees it that way too," Sabine muttered under her breath, after Kanan had left.
-SWR-
Sabine pestered and pestered her medical team for updates until they handed her a datapad filled with aftercare instructions and the expectation that she would read the forms, sign them, and stop bothering them. But there was no further communication after that, so after skimming the care instructions Sabine finally had enough.
Very carefully, she detached the IV tube from the stint in her forearm, closed the stint up, and slid out of the cot.
After taking a quick peek up and down the hallway to make sure she wouldn't be spotted, she snuck away from the makeshift medbay and stepped out into the hot Atollon sun.
She checked on the Ghost first, but Chopper was the only one there, Hera and Zeb were being debriefed about their own mission, having finally gotten through the Imperial checkpoint and gotten back that morning. Kanan, Chopper told her, was trying to intercept them to warn them about what had transpired while both of them were gone.
She walked back down the ramp, a change of clothes and her boots in hand, looking out over what she could see of the base.
"If I was Ezra Bridger and I wanted to stew in my own guilt and I didn't want anyone to bother me," she pondered aloud to herself, "where would I hide?"
Force, she hoped he hadn't left the base.
She didn't think he would, after being forcibly called out away from the base, away from his friends and allies and safety, by Maul. So where else would he go?
The answer came to her in a flash and she rushed straight there, not even bothering to put on her clothes first. Her feet made their protests over that known as they pounded the hot sand and grated temporary flooring panels.
She heard the inventory droid griping before she saw him, loudly bemoaning how a pile of crates was stacked.
"Are we so uncivilized that we cannot even take one minute to ensure optimal storage?!" AP-5 said.
Breathless Sabine put down her boots, laid her clothes neatly on top of them, and shoved the offending crates back into place for the droid in a matter of seconds.
"Hi AP," she said, finishing up and brushing her hands off.
"Miss Wren," he acknowledged flatly. "I have been informed that you are supposed to be in the med bay, recovering from the wounds inflicted on your back. The last update did not indicate you were cleared for duty."
"I'm not, officially, but I need to know, is Ezra hiding here?" she asked anxiously.
"Oh. Yes." The droid nodded towards another section. "Commander Bridger is indeed here, in the corner next to the supply crates of textile goods. I have inquired of him several times if he needs anything, to minimal monosyllabic responses, and I have already informed him that if he wishes to keep moping in the supply depot he should at least help aid me with the inventory counts." AP-5 shuffled out of her way. "I do hope you can talk some sense into him," he grumbled.
"No promises, AP," Sabine quipped, nevertheless grateful to the inventory droid for looking out for Ezra, in his own grouchy, acerbic, cranky way.
She made her way to the section AP-5 had indicated and, sure enough, Ezra was there, face hidden in his knees and arms wrapped around his legs.
"Leave me alone, Sabine," he muttered, as she walked up.
"No," she told him stubbornly, one hand on the side of the crates as she slid herself down to sit next to him, her back twinging a bit. "Not until you talk to me."
He raised his face, glaring at her with red puffy eyes that showed he had been crying earlier, even though they were dry now. "What do you want me to say, huh?" he challenged.
"That you know it's not your fault," she told him.
"It is my fault!" he choked, eyes crunching again, holding back heat. "Maul was going to blow up the base to keep anyone from being able to rescue me! To keep me from having anywhere to run to! He was going to ruin the Rebellion, he was going to force me to kill you, he killed my squad, he blinded Kanan..." He paused for a shaking breath, almost a gasp. "Because of me. Because he was obsessed with me and wanted to take me and all of you were in his way."
"Sounds like the personal problem of a total psycho, not anything you did," Sabine tried to put lightly, before quickly switching gears. "Ezra, listen to me," she said, grabbing his hand and holding on tightly. "You are not to blame for me or anyone else getting hurt because we tried to protect you. We'd do it again in a heartbeat, me, Kanan, your mission squad, Sato, everyone."
She'd actually known some of Ezra's men before he'd set off on his ill-fated mission to Balmorra. Every single one of them had been intensely fond of Ezra, and loyal to him as a commander. There was no doubt in her mind they'd fought to the last man to keep Ezra away from Maul, and wouldn't regret their demise if they could still speak.
Their blood was not on his hands. He needed to know that.
He needed to know there were people who would die for him.
Ezra's face was clenched as he looked back at her, trembling emotion in every line, shaking all down to the hand she held clutched in hers.
"Why?" he whispered.
Her eyes burned with a fierce fire.
"Because you are worth protecting."
His breath hitched and he reached up his other hand to quickly wipe at his eyes. "He told me it would be my fault," he strained out. "He offered me a chance to come willingly, said no one else would get hurt if I just came with him and I should have done it, should have made that sacrifice, but I..." He swallowed, eyes haunted, lost in memories. "I froze. I couldn't answer him. I was too scared. Taggert answered for me and then Maul darted me and attacked him first and then..."
Sabine listened sympathetically, and nodded. This part of the account was new to her. Ezra must have just recently remembered it.
No wonder he didn't want to face any of them.
"I said what I said," she just reiterated. "None of this is your fault, Ezra."
She let him sit with that a moment, then let go of his hand, so she could wrap both arms around his shoulders, pull him closer so that his head rested against her collar. He shuddered at the contact, practically melting against her, sagging.
Her hand snaked up to cradle the back of his head. "Do you think you can believe me?" she asked him softly.
He didn't speak for a long time, but then eventually just nodded against her collar, eyes squeezed shut.
She held him for several more minutes, and he felt so very thin and small in her arms, like he was that skinny fourteen-year-old kid they had picked up on Lothal again. She wished she could say more. Do more. Erase everything Maul had done to him the past few weeks for him, wipe his mind clean so that it would all be forgotten.
But she couldn't. All she could do was keep holding him until AP-5 groused at her that they both needed to move and the medics started blowing up her comlink trying to find out where she'd gone.
Even then, she didn't let go until Ezra promised her he'd go find Kanan. Only once she had that reassurance did she stand up, collect her clothes, and start the trek back into the cool underhang of the coral formations.
-SWR-
In the end, Kanan's preferences were overruled.
Even though it had only been a couple ground technicians from Phoenix Group and the Ghost crew themselves that knew the old code word, Rebel Command insisted upon taking no chances and ordered Ezra's programming to be reset. Sato had been very apologetic when he'd passed the edict down.
Ezra had acquiesced without a fight, actually feeling relieved that only one person would ever be able to trigger his programming again, and someone apparently high up enough in Rebel Command structure that if they were ever captured, the Rebellion would basically be over and it wouldn't even matter.
A couple more weeks and it was done. Ezra reported in, was whisked away for a couple hours, had a check in a few days later, and then was released.
They met him back at the Ghost.
"Did it work?" Hera asked, anxious and fretting.
"I think so?" One hand massaged the back of his neck nervously. "They didn't exactly let me see who set the trigger word but they did test it, had me raise my hand a few times."
"How do you feel?" The question came from Kanan now, who reached a hand out softly, to rest on Ezra's shoulder.
"I'm all right," Ezra dismissed with a shrug.
"Kid, don't lie to us," Zeb growled, from his position towards the back of the group, arms crossed and imposing. "Are you sure you're okay?"
Ezra sighed, avoiding looking up. "I haven't really been 'okay' since Malachor," he muttered. "But he's dead now. So that's at least one thing to worry about crossed off the list."
Hera cupped his face in her gloved hands, nudging him to make eye contact with a soft, "Hey. I'm sorry we weren't here when he came after you."
"It's okay," he said, and it was more convincing this time. "Sabine protected me," he added, raising his head, a bit of a smile breaking onto his face.
Kanan nodded proudly. "Yeah. She did good," he agreed.
"And I'm grounded for a month while I heal up," Sabine groaned in complaint.
That got a chuckle out of Ezra. "Sorry," he whispered.
Hera stepped back, gesturing up the ladder. "Kanan and I made dinner. It's not much, but it's hot," she offered. "We have to go report in but it's there for you on the table if you want it."
"Thanks," Ezra said. "I'll be up in a moment, I need to talk to Sabine real quick."
"Don't be too long," Zeb told him, being the first to turn back towards the ladder. "I'm not reheating it if you let it get cold."
Kanan and Hera walked past him down the ramp, both of them touching hands to his shoulders as they went. Zeb disappeared up into the cockpit and for a moment it was just him and Sabine, just him and the girl who'd saved his life by risking her own, without hesitation.
They stood there a moment, not quite looking at each other, awkwardly waiting to see who would speak first.
Ezra eventually decided it would be him, clearing his throat a bit.
"Hey," he said, "I should have told you this earlier but... thank you. For coming after me." He reached a hand across the space between them to grasp hers, softly. "I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't."
Sabine didn't look up, her face heating, turning red in the sterile cargo hold light. "You told me not to let you leave the base," she reminded him quietly. "So I did my best."
"You did. Thank you, Sabine."
He leaned closer, hesitated for just a moment, before reaching in, letting his lips feather her cheek before kissing it, softly.
Sabine's face got even hotter, if that was possible, and she had a cutely dazed expression when he pulled back, squeezing her hand gratefully.
Blinking and breaking eye contact Sabine gave a pointed cough as she looked down again. "You should go eat," she told him.
The tips of her ears were still red. Ezra smiled and squeezed her hand one last time before he let go.
She followed him up the ladder, a silent, welcome shadow behind him, as he climbed up into the safety of the Ghost.