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Part 1: Shane
Shane Hollander doesn’t listen to a lot of music. It’s not that he doesn’t like it, he is just usually listening to hockey podcasts or audio books about hockey. Driving back to the cottage, his favorite place in the world, without his favorite person seemed like an occasion where music is needed. They had just spent two full weeks together. Alone, together at the cottage. And what a two weeks it turned out to be.
Shane isn’t sure what he expected when Ilya called him and told him he would be coming to the cottage. He was so utterly shocked by Scott Hunter kissing his boyfriend on the ice in the middle of the cup celebration that it took him like an hour after he and Ilya hung up to really realize that Ilya changed his mind. He said he would come to the cottage. With Shane. They would spend a week or two spending time together and relaxing. Shane really wanted to relax with Ilya.
Shane tried not to cry as he pulled away from the departures lane at the Ottawa airport. He had felt so happy and full the last two weeks and as soon as Ilya left his Jeep, his normal not boring Jeep, he felt half of his heart go with him. He knew that’s how it would be now, whenever he and Ilya were apart Shane wouldn’t feel complete. He wondered if Ilya felt the same. He will never tell Ilya this but he pulled over to the first gas station he could going away from the airport and just cried. He needed to let it out before finishing the two hour drive back to the cottage.
He should have asked him to stay longer. He should have gone back to Boston with him. He should have kidnapped him and not let him leave. They had such an amazing time. Even the scariness at the beginning, saying I love you for the first time. Being seen and outed by his dad. Shane would go through all of that a million times over to continue to be able to say that Ilya belongs to him and he belongs to Ilya. How is he supposed to go back to normal now? Ilya Rozanov, the Russian menace himself, who famously loved no one romantically and filled his time and bed with one night stands, loved boring Shane Hollander. Not only does he love him, he said it first! God Shane will never forget that moment as long as he lives. He should be more embarrassed at saying “holy shit” first instead of saying “I love you too” but he stands by it.
Before pulling away from the gas station Shane decides to turn on the radio. Listening to a hockey podcast will just make him sad when they inevitably bring up he and Rozanov’s “rivalry.” If they only knew that Shane and Ilya are certainly competitive but there was never a rivalry. It was all made up by the league. He decides on a radio station that plays “the hits.” He isn’t really listening to the lyrics of the song playing, something with Justin Bieber singing in Spanish? Weird but ok. God Ilya would make so much fun of him for knowing who Justin Bieber is, but he’s Canadian!
He keeps driving, letting his mind wander to different memories from the last two weeks. Watching the sunrise after Ilya was brave and said he loved Shane for the first time. Eating pasta with his parents after coming out as gay and in love with Ilya Rozanov of all people. Ilya sucking his dick while he was on the phone with Hayden. Sitting outside and watching Ilya panic when he heard a loon for the first time. God it really was an amazing two weeks. Why did it have to end?
He’s just being sad and dramatic and he knows it. They have a plan, a whole plan, to be together and still play hockey. Shane came up with the plan after Ilya said he could marry Svetlana. Yeah, no. It’s not like he didn’t understand it wouldn’t be for love, that it would be a means to an end, but that doesn’t mean he has to like it or approve.
A new song starts and something about this song catches his attention. It’s a sad song but it sounds upbeat. He wonders if people are supposed to know it’s a sad song. He finds himself listening to the lyrics in a way he normally doesn’t. I mean it’s not like the lyrics are pulled straight from their life but it’s close enough that it makes him pull back over and really listen. He is nothing if not a safe driver and will not drive distracted. He finds an empty parking lot near the gas station and pulls in. He’s still close enough to the airport he can see the planes landing and taking off. He had insisted that Ilya get to the airport early because he knew that they would have trouble saying good bye. Boy was he right. He wondered what Ilya was doing now. Probably sitting at a coffee shop near his gate and scrolling through his phone. More lyrics take him out of his thoughts as he focuses on the song again.
“Every red light comes too quickly, Every mile is running out. So turn the music up around us— We don’t have to say it now.”
Why does that have to make so much sense? God it felt like the two hour trip to Ottawa, to the airport, was over in like 15 minutes. Had they been listening to music on the way he’s sure Ilya would have turned it up to drown out his thoughts. He knows loud music helps Ilya when his brain is too loud and he never understood how music could help before now. He looked at the clock on the dashboard while listening to the song, Ilya’s flight doesn’t leave for another hour and a half. The flight shows it’s on time, but it’s too early to start boarding yet. He could go back. He could turn around right now and go back and tell Ilya he doesn’t care about hockey he just wants him. They should just come out now and be done with it and be together for real. Nothing, not even hockey, is more important than getting to wake up next to Ilya everyday. His soul mate, the love of his life. If he turns around now he will be back to the airport in 10 minutes. “Hold on Ilya, I'm coming back” he thinks to himself as he turns the radio up and whips his Jeep, safely, back onto the road heading back to the airport.
Part 2: Ilya
To say Ilya was scared to call Shane and tell him he would come to the cottage would be a lie. It happened too fast for him to be scared or hesitate. One minute they are texting each other and Ilya is making fun of Scott Hunter for being a dinosaur but kind of hot, the next he is up and walking away from the couch to call Shane, his Shane, and make plans to spend time with him over the summer. He had almost went back to Russia with Svetlana. He was helping her pack and wrestling with the decision on if he should go himself right up until Scott kissed a man on the ice. He will never tell Scott just how much that moment meant to him. It changed everything for him and Shane. He was in love with Shane and didn’t know how they could be together. There was just no way, not with Russia and the MLH and just everything. He was pretty sure Shane loved him too.
Ilya woke up the morning of his last day at the cottage and the first few moments of waking up were perfect. The sun was filtering in through the windows and he and Shane were wrapped around each other like their bodies knew they wouldn’t see each other for a while after today. He loved it. He loved this beautiful man in his arms, who was now waking up slowly and looking up at Ilya with so much love and emotion in his face. He never understood, in all of these years, how people could say Shane was a robot or had no emotions. Shane felt deeply and more honestly than most people Ilya knows. That used to scare him and force him to lie to himself that he didn’t care for Shane as more than sex. He knew if he spent any significant time with Shane that all of his deepest, darkest thoughts and feelings would be written all over his face. He will never regret being the first to say “I love you” though. He panicked when Shane said “holy shit” at first but it’s funny to talk about now. At the end of the day he loves Shane and Shane loves him too. So much.
Ilya was currently sitting in a coffee shop waiting for his flight back to Boston. He does not want to go. He wanted to stay with Shane at the cottage. Hell, if asked, he would go back to Boston, pack his house and move to Canada tomorrow. He would leave it all behind, hockey and everything to be with Shane. "When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” He never understood what that meant. He used to watch that movie with his Mama when he was younger, with the English subtitles on, and she would always get teary eyed at that part and he never understood why. As he grew up he thought maybe she was sad that they spent so much time apart. But now? Oh he understands it’s not. He feels it so deeply and knows it’s so true.
He knows how important hockey is to Shane. Ilya loves it too, but he has more money than he could spend in his whole life and his father is no longer here to make proud. Not that he ever managed to do that while his father was alive. He shakes his head, to physically shake that thought from his head. He is thinking about Shane and their future, he doesn’t want to think about his Papa. His original point was that he could walk away from hockey and be ok. He will forever be grateful to hockey for getting him out of Russia and introducing him to Shane but he was fine if this was the end. Knowing how important hockey is to Shane is what made him agree to Shane’s multi year plan to, eventually, be together for real.
He checks the time on his phone, still an hour and a half until his flight leaves. Still too early to board. Ugh, he misses Shane already. He lets a small smile form at the corner of his mouth, he is such a loverboy. He can’t lie to himself anymore he always has been for Shane. He has always missed Shane as soon as he left. It’s just worse now that he knows for certain that they love each other. He pulls up his text thread with “Jane.” He wishes he could change the name to Shane. That he could take pictures of them together and actually keep them and use one on his lock screen and be so proud of his boyfriend and show him off to the world like everyone else does.
As he is sitting there thinking about Shane and their time at the cottage and their future and everything in between his phone lights up. A text from Shane! It’s like he summoned him just by thinking about him. But wait, he should be driving back to the cottage why is he texting? He doesn’t text and drive. Ilya opens the text so fast he almost drops his phone to the floor.
Jane: Share your location with me.
Wait, what? That’s weird why would Shane ask for his location? Why does he need to find him?
Lily: *drops pin*
Lily: what’s going on? Why are you looking for me are you not on your way back to the cottage?
Lily: you better not be texting and driving Hollander.
Jane: Don’t worry about me Rozanov.
Jane: I’ll see you in two minutes.
Lily: what? how? why????????
Ilya stared at his phone for what felt like hours waiting for him to respond. He saw that the message had been read, why did he not respond? Was he driving back to the cottage? Did he mean to send that message to someone else? Was he just waiting to get rid of Ilya before he brought someone else to the cottage? No. Ilya knew better than that. He was just sad that he was leaving and confused at not receiving a response yet. He had told Shane he loves him, and Shane said it back. They were accidentally outed by Shane’s dad David and Shane stood and told his parents that he loved Ilya. There is no reason to think Shane was going to take someone else to their cottage.
Just as Ilya was talking himself down from the panic and he picked his phone back up to call Shane he felt someone wrap their arms around him from behind. He turned around in complete and total shock and was face to face with Shane. His Shane. Was here. How? Is this real or is Ilya napping in an uncomfortable airport chair. Just as his eyes are crawling over Shane’s face for the third time trying to see if he is real Shane reaches up and puts a hand on his cheek. “Ilya, I’m real.” “It’s me”
“How are you here?” “Is it Yuna and David, is something wrong?” He gasped out before he could think better of it. Shane just smiled, shook his head and explained everything.
“Mom and Dad are fine. I’m here because I couldn’t stand the idea of being away from you for one more minute. I know it’s crazy and needs to be a much longer conversation but I want to be with you right now Ilya. I don’t want to wait until you move to Ottawa and we slowly make people believe we like each other. Hayden and Jackie get to just be together. Live together and spend everyday together. Every other couple you and I know gets to just be together, why can’t we? I know it’s a risk, and we might have trouble with the league if we decide to keep playing, but you’re worth it Ilya.”
Ilya stood there and his jaw must have been on the floor. He felt like a cartoon character. Shane had turned around and came back to the airport to tell him that he wanted to be together now and not in years from now? There is no way this is real. But this is real. The tears forming in the corner of Shane’s beautiful brown eyes are real. The tears spilling out of Ilya’s very own bright blue eyes are way too real. Before he could second guess himself he grabbed Shane and just held him. In the middle of the airport coffee shop.
Ilya pulled Shane off to the side and just started at him. Shane stared back with so much love written all over his beautiful, freckled face. Ilya was still struck speechless so Shane continued with he wanted to say. He had a speech prepared for however Ilya may have reacted to Shane showing up. He was very happy to get to use this version.
“You look like you still need a few minutes to believe that I’m really here so let me tell you my plan.” At hearing that he has a plan, because of course he does, Ilya snapped out of his daze and chuckled. He nodded at Shane to continue on. “I bought a ticket to Boston, on the same flight you happen to be on” he smirked. “I’m going to go back with you now, we are going to spend all night buried in each other, and then tomorrow we are going to decide if we are quitting hockey or not.” At hearing this Ilya’s jaw dropped again. Shane said quit hockey. He really said the words “quit hockey” and seems to have meant it. Well, fuck. This is serious.
“Okay.” That’s all Ilya could say at first. All he could manage. Seemed appropriate, that was the first thing he ever said to Shane all those years ago. Now it may be the last thing he says as he is sure he is dying or already dead and this is heaven. Shane giggled and put his hand on the back of Ilya’s neck and pulled him in for a kiss. Right there, in public. In Ottawa. Shane’s hometown. Ilya was stunned and didn’t kiss back at first, but then once the familiar feeling of Shane against his lips sank in he dropped his bag to his feet and wrapped both arms around Shane’s waist. This was real, his Shane was here now.
“So, we got to Boston then what?” Ilya asked, feeling he knew the answer already. “Whatever we want. We can live wherever we want. I’ll move to Boston, you move to Montreal. We both move to Ottawa.” Shane looked like he could have kept listing things they can do but Ilya interrupted him with another kiss. “I want to move to Ottawa with you, live near Yuna and David. I want to be surrounded by family. And I want to play hockey with you. We both play for Ottawa.” Shane’s whole face split into a huge grin. He couldn’t hide it anymore. “I was hoping you would say that, I really want that too.”
“Let’s go to Boston so we can pack my house and let our agents start working on getting us to Ottawa.” Ilya was smiling so hard his face hurt. “Sounds good to me.” Shane smiled back and they walked to the gate for their flight, holding hands and talking about the dog Ilya decided he wants to adopt once they are in Ottawa.