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It was hailing out; the sound of it hitting hard on the windows and roof of the safe house. Jett wasn't sure it even was a safe house at the moment seeing as the walls had felt as though they were swaying. But nobody else seemed to notice all the ways the walls felt wrong. So he just chose to keep the observation to himself.
Seattle rarely got storms like this, even with the consistent rain in the spring and autumn it was never hard and beating. But merely a mist light on the skin and relatively ignorable. This time though the clouds seemed to have come to life in their own way, in an angry and violent life Jett thinks as he counts at least the tenth thunder crack of the evening.
-They were getting closer.-
He shrunken a little under the blanket as the boom that followed after that particular crack rattles the windows set behind him. The movement almost imperceptible. It was instinctual. He hadn’t even realized he’d done it. Not until leg brushed against Ezra’s under the blanket they shared; splayed over their laps.
He spared a glance in the other's direction to see if he had noticed the embarrassing twitch. -To have shrunken in on himself when the others were possibility watching-. He knew better.
It was when he turned that he was meet with crystal blue eyes staring down on him with concern. He never should of looked. He turned away forcing his eyes to not leave the screen in front of him. His face becoming red with the knowledge of perception. But Jett had noted the ways the boys lips were slightly turned up at the corners. Like some part of him was aware of the turmoil Jett had been experiencing the entire night while the others had been having fun not paying attention.
He was too.
Having fun.
He was trying to anyway.
They hadn't planned on all bumming off of Jason tonight. It just kinda happened when the storm blew though. They had all walked to the safe house in the morning for training from their respective homes. But once the rain kicked up into actual drops nobody wanted walk back home in it. So they stayed. With parents permission of course. Though Jett can’t remember if the other had asked Jason or not.
He didn't.
So here they all were crammed onto Jason's old ratty uncomfortable couch that Jett is a hundred percent sure he pulled in off the streets; springs in all the wrong areas not to be stabbed on the occasion you sat in the wrong spot.
Spare blankets and pillows were thrown everywhere around the couch along with wrappers of snacks and cans of soda littering the living room table Jett’ feet were prepped up on.
He’s sandwiched between Lian on his left side and Ezra on his right, then right of Ezra is Eugene and left of Lian is PJ, Jason sat in his old man chair in the corner of the room reading a book older than time itself, while Nika had to go out of town on business to do with the bat family. (Top secret mission.) Something both her and Jason pointy ignored when the other’s asked them questions on it until they all got the hint of what top secret meant.
But they were still having a good time even with her gone for the week and the continuos hard taps off the glass windows -maybe about to shatter- and raging booms that happen every so often.
They played card games. Uno mostly, and were all shocked that Jason even had them stocked up in a cabinet somewhere. Because as Lian pointed out. “Who would you even play with you? You have no friends.” With an instant reply of “I have friends,” along with a “Just ask you dad.” And a suggestive eyebrow raise. To which Lian responded with a disgusted face before blowing a raspberry in his direction and laughing with the others.
Jett chose not to poke fun at Jason by pointing out that the cards were brand new as they had to break the seal on the box use them. Which was very unlike him. But Jett wasn't really feeling like himself tonight anyway.
When they gotten bored of their hundredth round of Uno they came up with their own games using the cards.
Games that Jett definitely didn’t cheat at, no matter what the other say.
Now they were making use of the newly inquired TV and movie player Jason had set up in the living room by watching the new Twisters movie that just came out. The one that has that guy who oddly looked a lot like Jason’s old reporter friend.
They had all come to the conclusion that the TV had been bought or ‘found’ for their benefit as Jason never once touched the thing nor knew how to use it before this very night. They chose to keep their knowledge of this from the man though seeing as he would just deny it all. Then they would have to make fun of him for caring -its an obligation at this point- and that just became exhaustion after awhile. So instead they watch quietly with grateful smiles as Jason beat the remote on the side of the table until it worked, and no one commented on it even though Jett could tell they all had wanted too.
In hindsight it was a bad choice of movie for the night. Not a bad movie, but a bad night to see it.
A movie about storm chasers hadn't been the smartest thing for him to agree to while the house felt it was going to blown down any minute. But he couldn't exactly say no without telling anyone why. So when Eugene asked to watch it and everyone agreed; he was left with nothing else to do but nod his head in agreement too.
Jett flinched again as another even louder -how is that possible?- boom happened outside. That’s number eleven? Twelve? Of the night. It sounded like it was on top of them now, and the room felt smaller than it ever had.
His flinch must have been noticeable this time around because a hand on his right side grabbed his. The grip was tight. Hard. But in a grounding way; like he could breathe again.
Had he stopped?
Breathing that is.
He hadn't noticed but took a few seconds to forced himself into few deep breaths while he felt he could.
Then looked over to the boy still holding his hand, he was watching him. Watching to closely as Jett continued to breath heavily. Jett hated the felling of being watched, of being speculated on. He turned away again for the second time that night; knowing he couldn’t bear to make eye contact with blue again tonight. Not when he felt like this.
A coward.
That is what he is, a coward of the highest caliber. Not disserving of this team or their friendship that came with it. How was he supposed to be a hero and help people if he couldn't even get over a little storm? A storm that he definitely was not scared of just a little wary.
But as he looked away to see if Lian noticed too. He didn't let go of the hand under the shared blanket. He was sure it was still the only thing allowing him to breath. The only thing that was stoping the world from ending around them.
Looking over to her Jett realized that at some point over the last hour Lian had fallen asleep head leaned onto PJ who was half asleep himself head bobbing needlessly. When he turned back to look at Eugene, pointy leaning forward to ignore Ezra’s presence next to him. He realized the other was asleep too; curled into a ball using the arm rest as a pillow while holding a real one in his arms.
How they were doing it Jett would never know.
The hand in his squeezed tighter before intertwining their fingers. Then he felt more then heard a whisper in his ear. “I guess its just me and you left awake, huh?”
He looked up to see Jason missing from his chair and the door to his room closed. He must of gotten up at some point in the movie to go to bed. Jett hadn't been paying attention to much else other than the patter of rain and the whining sound of the wind whipping around the building.
He hummed his response not trusting his voice to work. Which was strange, his ability to bite with nothing but words had been the most reliable thing about him up until this point.
“Can I tell you something? While the others aren't awake to hear.”
That got his attention. Not enough for him to look at the boys face; but he’d be amiss if he wasn't curious about what he could possibly want to say without having to share with the rest of the team. So he gave a barely perceptible nod, but Ezra saw it; he always saw Jett.
“Im scared of storms.”
At first Jett didn’t believe him, Ezra was the bravest among them. Minus Jason and that was only because he was a senior veteran of the whole vigilante, hero, thing they were doing.
But Ezra was brave. Real brave. It just must of come naturally to him. It is why he was their team leader. He was brave, kind, took no shit from anyone, and was good at guiding the team when they needed him.
He was everything Jett was not.
So it make sense that Jett’s first thought was he was being made fun of; because that simply could not be true. And it hurt to think one of his closest friends would notice something was wrong - even though nothing was wrong he’s not scared- then poke fun at it.
It wasn’t until he whipped around to cuss Ezra out he realized the boy was being serious. That his face was earnest with honestly.
It was only then he realized that he was in fact making eye contact with blue again that night. More importantly that he lost the silent fight Ezra probably didn't even know they were having.
Also the fact they were much closer together then Jett had realized up until that point. Having their full bodies pressed against each other from shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip, hands still held tight. Fingers intertwined. Faces barely inches apart form one another.
But he didn't care because Ezra just trusted him with information he didn’t volunteer to anyone else. Going out of his way so that only Jett would know. Know that he wasn't alone in his -not- fear.
“Really?” He asked just to conform that he hadn't heard wrong. That he hadn't misunderstood what he was told. It was valuable information about his friend, he wanted to make sure he got it right.
“Yeah.” He took a deep breath. It seemed like it hurt him to talk about it. But Jett was to selfish to stop him. “When I was a kid, me and my family got into a bad accident. We all made it out alive. But it was close, and my mom was seriously injured. It was raining that day. Pretty hard too. The road was wet and we hit a puddle. It wet the brakes and she couldn't stop the car fast enough when another car cut into our lane on the highway.” He took a deep breath before powering though like the part that was coming next was the hardest to admit. “Ever since that day Ive been scared of anything larger than a mist, especially lighting and thunder.”
Then right on que a loud crack; louder than any they’d heard that night. The house shook and the light that could vaguely be seen in th kitchen went out with a pop along with the TV.
The boys jumped at each other grabbing on to anything they could reach on the other, fully closing the very little space that had been between them.
The house went pitch black so the following sequences that happened where difficult to make out and see; though Jett did try his best.
PJ shot up straight at the noise, waking up Lian with him. As Eugene just let out a soft snore not being stirred at all.
Then within seconds the door to the bedroom swung open with Jason brandishing a gun in his hand, a look of fear on his face as ran into the kitchen with wild eyes.
The boys just glanced at each other, practically sitting in each other’s laps from the fear. Then let go of one another scrambling before anyone noticed and they would have to explain themselves.
Jett wasn’t sure what Ezra felt about the situation, but he knew he didn't want his friends to ask questions about how he ended up in the others lap, or why he was there.
Jason came back into the room with his hair a mess. But gun held down by his hip. “What the fuck was that?” he asked tone no nonsense, eyes still slightly wild but less then before.
“I think the house was struck by lightning.” PJ responded having gotten up to flip on the light switch, noting happen as he continued to flip it back and forth a few more times.
“Its a good thing I made sure the house is up to code and has all the updated circuit breakers then.” Jason said with a huff. “The last thing we need is this shit hole catching fire while I sleep.”
“This house is up to code?” Jett can’t help but say jokingly; despite the pounding in his chest. It receives a glower with teeth from Jason and a chuckle from everyone else in the room, minus Eugene who still slept soundlessly on the couch next to Ezra.
“Go back to sleep I want all you shit heads out of here by the morning, you’ve already over stated your welcome.” But it was said with no real bite and if anything a smile, so no one took him seriously as he slugged his way back into the bedroom.
Though they all did start so settle back down again getting comfortable.
Jett wasn't sure he could if he tried. The couch started to stab him in the side; and the rain was still heavy and loud outside. Though he did have comfort that even in the case of the safe house being stuck by lighting, the windows did not bust out or in on them. So they should be safe to sleep under them, should the sound let up a little. But that didn't stop his blood from pumping over time and his breaths coming shorter than normal.
Lian moved over into the open chair with her own blanket. PJ moved himself to floor where he stretched out on a blanket bring one of the last two pillows with him.
With the abstains of his friends on his left he scooted over to make room for him or Ezra to lay on the side of the couch Eugene wasn't on. But he realized, losing his last straw of the day, that there was only one pillow and blanket left to use.
He gave up on the idea of using them for the night. It wasn't as if it was the first time he slept on a cold hard floor with nothing else. So he started to stand up. That was until a hand clasped around his wrist with an iron grip. When he turned Ezra was looking at him intently.
“Where are you going?” He mouthed it more than anything else but Jett understood.
“To lay down.”
“Then lay here.” He gestured to where the pillow was pushed up into the corner of the arm and back of the couch, holding the blanket. But Jett couldn't possibly take that spot from Ezra tonight. Not after what he’d done for Jett, probably not even realizing how much it ment to him.
So he just shook his head and mumbled “You have it.”
“We can share.”
Jett looked skeptically at the spot not sure both of them could fit comfortably in it. But Ezra laid down making room for him too; and it look to inviting pass up. So he laid down next to his friend. Trying not to press his back to Ezra’s chest, but there was not much room so it happened anyway. Ezra didn't say anything about it though, he just laid the blanket across them both and moved it up to their shoulders.
It was several hours later into the night and Jett sill hadn't fallen asleep. As far as he can tell neither had Ezra. But everyone else had; snoring away back and forth as though they where communicating while sleeping.
Jett was staring to become stiff. So he moved his body slightly trying to be mindful of Ezra and the possibility he was asleep too; even though he knew it was unlikely.
And the boy conformed he was awake when he started to speak into Jett ear again. Jett whished he’d stop doing that - not really- before his chest combusted.
“You never told me why you’re scared of storms.”
“I never said I was.”
That just received a chuckle that shook them both.
It was nice. The rain had slowed, the thunder had stopped hours ago, and at some point Ezra’s arm wrapped around him under the blanket where their legs also became twisted together in an effort to give Eugene his space at their feet.
“I don’t know.” he whispered into the room, so quite like the whole would would break when he spoke his fears out loud. Then he realized Ezra probably couldn't hear him well when he was whispering the opposite direction.
When he rolled over he hadn't expected Ezra to be so close. He knew they were, they had been fully pressed against one another and tangle together for hours now. But it didn't dawn on him until his head nearly collided with Ezra’s so he was forced to duck down and lay his head lower under the other boys chin. He wasn’t sure he could be heard better like this then the other way, but he tried.
“I always have been. When I was a kid it was worse, my dad used to yell at me for hours over crying about nothing. But I couldn't help it. Every time it rained it felt like the sun would never come out again. Like I had lived my last sunny day and I wasn't even aware it pass. I never stoped to enjoy it and I’d never have the chance again. I know that's stupid, it doesn't make any sense.”
His hands came up to cover his face in embarrassment, not believing he’d admitted it out loud. He was becoming more irritated with himself the more he continued until he eventually said his true fear without meaning too.“God it’s so fucking stupid. How am I supposed to be a hero and comfort people in need if Im scared of a stupid fucking storm.” It was mumbled into his hand more than anything else.
A hand came up grabbing Jett’s wrists to remove his hands from his face, then not letting go of his wrists, with his other hand he hooked a finger under Jett’s chin making him look up to Ezra. Making Jett look him in the eyes. “It’s not stupid though. The thought of never having another sunny day again is terrible. Especially when you’re a kid.”
His hand moved from Jett’s chin and mindlessly stated to card though Jett pink curls at the back of his head. “Plus lighting and thunder are terrifying, exhibit A.) Tonight when the entire house shook with sound and the power went out. I don’t think anyone would judge you for being scared, I think everyone was. You saw Jason. And the way PJ shot up. Jason said it himself the house could've of set fire if he hadn’t paid attention to the breakers.” Ezra huffed. “And for the record the only thing I’m more scared of than storms is letting people down. Letting our team down. But, you can feel fear and still be a good hero Jett. There is that whole turn of phrase; bravery isn't the lack of fear but doing what is right despite being scared of the outcome; or whatever it is.”
Somehow Ezra’s dumb inspirational speech actually worked, Jett’s body relaxed as he laid there and turned over the words in his head. Ezra was right because - and Jett would never admit it out, Ezra was always right.
He hated that.
But something was still holding him back, in the depths of his mind it didn't matter how right Ezra was. There was another quieter but familiar voice telling him he was still a failure for trying to be a hero at all.
“I don’t want to tell people I’m scared of something.”
“Then don’t. The secrets ours.”
And just like that the residual tension in Jett left. He’d never felt like this. Like he was aloud to be scared over something. That he wasn't a failure for feeling fear. He wasn’t scared to be scared, for the first time in a long time.
Ezra wasn't expecting him to be fearless because Ezra wasn’t. And if Ezra the team leader was aloud to be scared of something and still be the best thing in the world; then Jett couldn’t be broken over a storm, or anything that came along with them.
With fingers carding his hair and rain tapping the glass Jett took one last deep breath before falling asleep half on top their team leader.