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Tony sat down in his swivel chair in the lab; he leaned back, let his neck fall backwards, and groaned. He shut his eyes in hopes of a magical a-ha moment for the equation he couldn’t figure out.
The deja vu happened a lot. More than he liked to think about. He’d be in the car and look at his passenger seat, and get the uncomfortable sense of doing that exact motion before with someone, but he could never pinpoint the moment or person. In the particularly strong cases of deja vu, he would try to tell himself it was likely Pepper or Happy that he had the feeling about, but there were other moments, like this time, where the all-consuming feeling couldn’t be excused with anyone but a mystery.
He opened his eyes and looked around, quickly trying to find another object in the room that could ground him to the memory he was thinking of, but he came up with nothing. There were countless times when he was in his lab trying to solve the unsolvable; there were countless times when the lab swivel chair had seen the absolute worst of him. But his neck falling back and groaning gave him a different feeling, like it wasn’t he who had done the action before, even if he had; it was like he could remember watching someone else groaning and complaining in frustration in his lab.
He never let anyone in his lab, well, not to work, at least. The possibility of someone working alongside him there was quite impossible, but the feeling was so strong he thought he might go crazy. Ignoring it was always easier. When the deja vu had become very frequent a couple of years ago, he spent longer than he’d like to admit researching deja vu and what it meant. He even read up on how intense and recurring deja vu could mean he had a neurological medical condition, and he ended up having FRIDAY screen him a few times for it. But it was never anything more. Despite how messed up it was, he sometimes wished it was some sort of medical condition so he could feel like the madness he felt could be excused by something scientific, rather than an unexplained feeling that was hardly backed by any academic research that pointed to any of it being rooted in reality. It was likely memories he was misremembering or maybe a dream he once had.
He felt like he was staring down at a piece of paper that had his own handwriting on it at one point, but he couldn’t remember exactly what he wrote before someone else erased all of it, only leaving eraser shavings and graphite dust. The memories were always on the tip of his tongue.
Tony went upstairs, where Pepper was reading at the breakfast table while Morgan was drawing. He came up behind them both, pressing a kiss to the top of Pepper’s head, then leaning over and tickling Morgan, causing her to draw a large blue line through her picture of a man wearing a red sweater.
“Heyyyy,” she pouted. Tony looked down at the damage done to the photo and felt it again. The overwhelming sense that he had seen something like this before. Maybe he did need to call a doctor- no, a psychiatrist. Because this was getting to a level that he didn’t even think FRIDAY could handle.
Pepper saw the look on Tony’s face — the dropped expression, the eyes that glossed over just slightly, and the wrinkles between his brows as he furrowed them.
“Tony,” she said softly.
“I’m good.” He stood up straight, collecting himself. “Super good.”
She raised her brow at him. Tony had gone to Pepper a few times about how he felt like there was constantly something missing in his life. About the urges he had to text someone who wasn’t there when he would think about a new development in the lab, or if Morgan did something cute, he’d want to text a photo; and on Morgan’s birthday, he always wanted to tell someone. There were a handful of times when he’d have his phone in hand, and he couldn’t remember what he was doing, or what he had intended to do. It was like opening the fridge to get something, but not remembering what you went to grab in the first place. It was like when you left your house for vacation and couldn’t remember if you shut the garage door or turned off the lights. There was a constant sense of maybe for Tony.
Tony kissed Morgan’s head. “It’s a great picture, Morguna.” Tony took a seat opposite them and looked at the drawing. Morgan was trying her best to fix the mistake Tony had caused; she was mumbling frustrations about how her picture was ruined, but Tony was hardly able to understand any of what she was saying under her breath.
He looked at Pepper. “I can’t sleep.”
Following the Avengers’ final fight with Thanos, Tony remembers how great life had been for about a year. Everything felt so normal then. Like life was just as it was meant to be, and exactly what he had worked to do when planning the Time Heist with the team. There was a shift right around the holidays, where he felt a gap at Thanksgiving dinner. He remembered looking around the table at everyone he and Pepper had invited over, and making sure they didn’t forget someone. He went over the list in his head of everyone they asked to come. Everyone was accounted for. After the main course was done, Tony followed Pepper into the kitchen where she was going to bring out some desserts.
“Does something feel off to you today?”
Pepper shook her head. “What do you mean?”
Tony looked back into the dining room where everyone was. Morgan, Happy, Rhodey, Bruce, Steve, Nat, Sam, Pepper’s parents and brother, Clint and his family. The people who were invited and able to come were all accounted for. Now, he was running over the list of people in his head who weren’t able to make it, making sure all of those invites were sent out. All accounted for, too.
“I feel like we forgot to invite someone.”
Pepper looked into the dining room as well, thinking to herself for a moment. Tony could almost see the wheels turning in her head as if she might have agreed with him; someone was missing.
“I think that’s just how it is when you have a big gathering at the holidays. Always worried that someone has been forgotten.” She picked up the apple pie from the counter and kissed Tony’s shoulder as she walked by him. “Don’t worry. Everyone is here.” Her voice sounded a little hesitant herself, but Tony tried not to focus too much on it. “Take a minute, and then can you follow me with the ice cream and the pumpkin pie?” Tony nodded silently. The pumpkin pie was taunting him. He didn’t want to return back to the dining room while feeling so uneasy and out of place.
Christmas hadn’t felt much different. In fact, it had felt much worse. He should’ve been ecstatic watching Morgan open her presents, and he was to some extent. He loved watching her light up when she saw that Santa had brought her the one thing she had been asking for for the whole year, and he especially loved watching her play with the boxes the toys came in, rather than the toys themselves. But there was still a gap that he couldn’t figure out how to fill.
He loved his family and his life, so he couldn’t figure out why he felt like he was still missing something. The guilt of this feeling crept in and tackled him often. He never wanted to say anything to Pepper about it; he never wanted her to think that their family wasn’t enough, because that wasn’t the case — he just didn’t know how to articulate that. Eventually, she caught on. She noticed how often Tony would enter into his own world and how often he would look around a room like he just walked in and forgot what he was doing. After a couple of months, she brought it up to him, and he let it all spill out. He tried to explain everything he was feeling and everything he was missing without making it seem like he hated his current life. Pepper understood. She said she continued to recognize it on his face ever since he brought it up at Thanksgiving, and she said she would have those moments too. Not nearly as much as Tony, but they were there. After that talk, it was easier to go to her when he was feeling the deja vu or the overwhelming sense of absence.
Four years later, those feelings still hadn’t gone away.
“You can’t sleep?”
He shook his head. “I feel like I’ve been in a state of psychosis for years. And that’s not me being hyperbolic.”
Morgan looked up. “I read that word in a book the other day. Hyperbolic.”
“Oh, yeah? Hey, why don’t you go draw upstairs. I want to talk to your Dad for a minute, okay?”
Morgan nodded and hopped up, taking her sketch pad and colored pencils with her.
They watched as she headed up the stairs, mumbling the words to one of her favorite songs as she went.
Pepper turned back to Tony. “We have to figure this out.”
“Honey, I’ve tried. I’m always trying. I can’t,” he trails off. “I can’t pinpoint anything other than the fact that something is wrong and has been for four years.”
“I know we’ve talked about this more times than either of us would like to even count, but I think it boils down to life just feeling different after Thanos. So much changed after the team brought everyone back. Maybe it’s just taking you longer to adjust.” Her voice was so gentle, so soft, like she didn’t want to tell him to just get over it, even though that’s what she was really trying to say beneath all of the kindness.
“You’ve said it yourself that you feel like something is missing too. You’ve talked about it so many times with me.”
“Yes, but Tony, what is going to change?”
There was no part of him that was willing to accept that this was just how life was. That he would have to go on with the rest of his life feeling like there was an entire part of him gone that he’d never get back.
“This can’t just be it.”
Pepper didn’t say anything back; she just leaned forward and wrapped Tony in a hug. He buried his head into her hair, inhaling the familiar scent of lavender and vanilla. It was grounding and eased his mind for a moment about everything feeling different. Because Pepper was constant. And her hair still smelled the same way it did 20 years ago.
“I’m sorry, Tony. I wish I could make it go away.” And her hand still combed through his hair the same way it did 20 years ago.
That night, Tony went into Morgan’s room to say goodnight. He poked his head in the doorway. Her reading light lit up the novel in her hands.
“Am I allowed to enter?” Tony asked.
“Yes.”
Tony walked in, spotting the book. “Time to put that away, bedtime.”
“One more chapter.”
Tony shook his head and plucked the book from her hands and put the bookmark on the page. “You can do one more chapter before school tomorrow.”
“Not fair.”
“Life isn’t fair, buttercup.” Tony sat down on the edge of the bed, tucking in the sides of Morgan’s blanket and adjusting the stuffed animal that she’d had since she was two; after seven years, it’s been well-loved.
“Dad?”
“Hm?”
“I always hear you say to Mom that you miss something. What do you miss?”
Tony felt a lump develop in his throat. He always wondered if Morgan felt the same way too, but he doubted it. She was only five when he started feeling like something was missing.
“I don’t know, Mo,” was all he managed to say. She just nodded, and her eyebrows creased together like she was thinking about it herself, trying to put together the puzzle for him.
“Get some sleep,” Tony said. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and stood up, turning off the light. “I love you.”
—
Tony had a business meeting in the city with some investors. He made many efforts at trying to get out of it, or hoped that Pepper would get sick of his complaints and just go do it herself. Neither of which came to fruition. Just the day before, the news had reported on Bruce having some issues as the Hulk, which Spider-Man had apparently intervened in. So, on the morning of the investors' meeting, Tony used the excuse that he needed to go help Bruce. Pepper still didn’t budge, and reminded him that he already made the only call he could.
Now, he was stuck in a stuffy suit in a tall building in downtown Manhattan. He rarely came to the city anymore. There wasn’t much for him there. Since rebuilding the Avengers compound and staying settled at the cabin, Tony had no reason to be in the city. It only brought up memories he didn’t particularly like reliving, and feelings he couldn’t quite place. For a city so busy, he felt indescribably lonely there.
He was ushered into one of the offices. Surrounded by floor-to-ceiling windows, he looked out at the skyline that used to be so familiar to him. New York felt so distant to him now. He’d add that to the list of things in his life that had become such an unknown to him. He never imagined he’d appreciate the quiet life off in the woods. The hustle of a city that he always tried to stay one step ahead of was thrilling at one point in time. The sirens and honking car horns used to be such a constant that he stopped noticing them after a while; now, as he tried to relax for a moment before his meeting began, it was impossible to turn his brain off and feel truly at peace. There were times when he would be lying in his bedroom at night in the tower, which felt so far away from his life now, where he would find the noise of the city comforting. No silence meant no opportunity for him to get lost in his own mind for too long. The cabin provided him with more opportunity to become so familiar with thoughts he tried to avoid for most of his life. Now, it was hard for him to imagine not having those quiet moments, with Pepper and Morgan filling in the blanks.
A few minutes passed, and four men walked in. Tony put on his best face, the one he became very skilled at using when he had to charm businessmen and investors.
“Mr. Stark, always a pleasure,” said one of them as he shook Tony’s hand, the rest following suit with their own niceties.
“Gentlemen,” Tony said. “Pleasure’s all mine. Except I’m not too crazy about having to haul my ass back into the city, but I suppose for you boys exceptions can be made.”
“How’s the family? Your daughter is how old now?”
“Nine. I don’t know where all the time went.” He really wasn’t sure. He remembered the day they brought Morgan home from the hospital, and knowing how to care for something so small felt so impossible for him. He worried time and time again that he wasn’t going to be ready to be a Dad. He also vaguely remembered knowing that someone had made him prepared for such a role, but that was another thing added to the long list of “almost remembers.”
Another one of the men, one who Tony didn’t know very well, assumed to be a junior associate, considering he still looked like he wanted to be at work, sat across from Tony at the large conference table.
“Do you have any other children?” The junior asked.
Tony felt painfully uncomfortable from the question. He knew the answer was “no,” but for some reason he didn’t want to actually say the word “no.” He cleared his throat and loosened the collar around his neck. “Uhh, no. No, I don’t.” He couldn’t tell if the room actually felt eerily quiet, like every breath was an echo, or if it was all in his head.
“Shall we get started? I believe my colleague has some tip sheets he’d like to go over before we dive into the slide decks.”
“Lay it on me,” said Tony.
—
Everything stopped. He was stuck. Stuck in the middle of reaching over to shake one of the men’s hands. He wanted to move; he wanted to go about the rest of his day. He could see the man in front of him, the junior associate he was about to thank; he was stuck too. His eyes were wide; he didn’t look as distressed as Tony felt he was. The immediate feeling in Tony’s body was wondering if maybe Thanos was back. Was this what the entire team felt right before dusting? He was certain that any second from now, he would no longer exist. He hoped Pepper and Morgan were okay. It felt like it had already been about five minutes since he became frozen, but it was only about three seconds.
And then, it was all there, flashing through his mind like a film reel being replayed for him on a constant loop. It was so clear. The brown eyes that were so convincing when asking for anything he wanted. The royal blue Midtown hoodie that always covered a science pun t-shirt, just like the one he had gifted Tony for Christmas a few years back. Late-night McDonald’s runs when Tony was helping him study for his test the next day. When he had accidentally called Tony “Dad” when they were in the lab once, and how he tried to play it off and never wanted to talk about it again. Then the moment he called Tony “Dad” and meant it and didn’t want to stop saying it. Every moment he ever had with him was right there.
The first time they had met. Tony always liked how sassy he was with him; he thought the backtalk was pretty funny, and it reminded him so much of how he was at that age. Even if he ended up reprimanding him for that very backtalk later on.
One of the countless times he had fallen asleep in the lab, and Tony would either drape a blanket over him, or if he was really passed out, carry him to his bedroom that was down the hall from Tony and Pepper’s. There was a parent-teacher conference alongside May, and there were endless nights of assisting him with homework and studying.
It was all right there in his mind like it had never even left before. And he couldn’t believe he had ever forgotten the kid before. The kid. Kid. Kid. His kid. His kid.
Peter Benjamin Parker. The kid, no, his kid, who would text and call him a million times a day at all hours of the night. Tony would tell him to stop calling and to ‘just go to bed,’ but Peter never listened and stayed on the phone anyways; and Tony would listen because he wanted to, and he always loved listening to everything Peter said.
He remembered Titan. He remembered the sinking feel in his chest when Peter said his name, and he looked over at him. Peter’s eyes were distant and teary. His voice was shaky and he fell right into Tony’s arms. He held Peter as he vanished in his arms until he was a pile of dust. He refused to get back on the ship for a while. He didn’t want to leave Titan without Peter.
Tony had tried to scoop up the pile of Peter’s ashes and bring them back. The feeling of Nebula’s hands on his shoulders trying to pull him back had been etched into his memory, but for the last few years, when he looked back on Titan, he could never remember who he had been trying to scoop up. Now, he couldn’t imagine how he ever forgot who he was fighting to bring back home with him. He felt sick; he couldn’t move, but he knew he felt sick. He knew he wanted all of the memories to stop because he couldn’t handle watching them all again, knowing he had forgotten one of the most important people in his life; but seeing his baby in bright color wasn’t something he ever wanted to lose again. Peter was almost within arm's reach; he needed to get to him. He needed to tell him how sorry he was that he ever forgot him. He didn’t know how it happened, but he’d find out, and he’d never let it happen again.
Peter’s laugh was always so infectious. There were times when Tony would be annoyed with him, but then something would make Peter laugh, and Tony found it nearly impossible to stay annoyed. Memories of that laugh were flashing around in his head. Like the one time that he let Peter sit in on an SI meeting, and Tony had texted him under the table about one of the men in the room and how his button-down was popped open in the middle. Peter looked up and couldn’t stop laughing, which prompted Tony to join in. The two of them were inconsolable, and Pepper kicked them both under the table.
Tony wasn’t sure how long the freeze lasted. He felt like he lived an entire life with Peter in his head. Seconds reliving everything he ever had forgotten were now months, and minutes were years. When he was snapped free, he immediately clutched at his chest; the heart he had fixed felt as if it was giving out again. He knelt over, trying to settle the quickened breaths and overwhelming sense of wanting to throw up. The others in the room were looking around, confused, trying to figure out what had just happened to them. But Tony couldn’t even think about that now. He stood and wiped his eyes, breath still uneven and panicked.
His fist was rubbing circles on his chest, and he made a beeline for the door. A few of the men called his name, but he wasn’t sure if he just imagined them doing that; the voices were so distant in the back of his head.
As Tony was rushing down to his car, he was scrolling through his phone, trying to find a contact for Peter. He remembered he had saved him as “Spider-Kid,” accompanied by a photo of Peter slumped over asleep in the passenger seat of Tony’s car. He was frantically scrolling up and down his contact list.
“FRI, get me in contact with Peter Parker.”
“Boss, I have no database that contains that name.”
Tony stilled for just a moment. “FRI, Parker. Now.”
“I’m sorry, Boss. I have nothing in my database with that name.”
Tony groaned loudly, still trying to scroll through his contacts and searching for “Spider-Kid” in his phone.
He sped off quickly in his car, praying that Peter still lived in the building in Queens that he remembered. Then it clicked in his head: Happy’s May Parker was Peter’s May Parker. And she was gone. Now, he really felt sick. The thought of his kid being alone for years, his aunt dying, and his dad forgetting who he is. Well, by the looks of it, everyone forgot who he was. His throat felt hot and heavy; his chest was burning. The radio was playing in his car, but he barely noticed. He could’ve recalled the moment to have been a silent car ride if he hadn’t immediately locked in on the breaking news announcement that began to play.
“Breaking. We have received multiple reports that the crime-fighting hero, Spider-Man, has been shot.”
Tony slammed on his car’s brakes. He skidded to a stop, and people were honking horns around him. He turned the dial on the radio up.
“He is being rushed to Bellevue Hospital in critical condition.” Critical. The bile rose up in his throat, and before he could process the words that were echoed over the radio, he was opening his car door and puking onto the street.
He got back in, reversed, made a U-turn, and sped off towards the hospital. When he arrived, there was a crowd of people waiting outside. They had Spider-Man signs, shirts, banners, and ‘Get Well Soon’ balloons. Tony ran through the front doors; he was frantic at the front desk.
“My kid—, my uh. My. Spider-Man. Where is he?”
The nurse looked at him, confused. “Uhm, Mr. Stark. Hello, uh. I can’t disclose the information of a patient.”
“He works for the Avengers,” Tony said quickly. The nurse pondered it for a moment. “He’s in surgery right now. I can get you when he’s out.”
“Is he gonna be okay?” Tony was fairly certain he was crying again.
“The doctors will do everything they can, sir. If you want to have a seat over there, I can keep you updated.” She gestured to the seats behind him. There was an older woman, a few empty seats, and then a man in all black. Tony walked over and sat down. He looked at the man, and it clicked. This was the Punisher.
“You’re Frank Castle.”
Frank turned to look at him; he seemed distressed too.
“What’s it to you, Stark?”
“Spider-Man. You work with him don’t you?”
Frank glared at him. “Sorry, did I take your coworker from you? From what I recall, he hasn’t worked with the Avengers in years.”
“He’s my kid.”
Frank immediately sat up straight from his slumped position. “What? He never said that to me.”
“I don’t know what happened. I haven’t… for four years I haven’t been able to remember him. But it all… came back?” Tony said, as if he couldn’t believe any of it himself. Every moment of deja vu, of feeling like there was something missing in his life, wasn’t because he was crazy. It was almost reassuring to know that it wasn’t all in his head. Peter was missing. He was missing one of the most important people in his life. Really, it was a shock he hadn’t gone more insane over the last few years. He recalled every moment where he could’ve sworn someone else had been there, and now, he remembered all of them with Peter there. And every holiday that felt empty was because it had been. His heart ached for the Christmases and Thanksgivings that Peter should’ve been at. At the birthdays Tony would’ve thrown for the kid.
“Jean Grey,” Frank said. And Tony had no clue what he was on about. “She fucks with people’s minds. That’s what that freeze was. I don’t know why you forgot him before but I think I know why you remember him now.” There was a moment of silence between the two of them before Frank spoke again. “I’m sorry.” And if Tony wasn’t mistaken, it sounded like Frank was choking up a little.
“What the hell are you sorry for?”
“I didn’t mean to hit him. I was trying to shoot her and he blocked her from the bullet.”
Tony was pretty sure his heart stopped. His limbs were heavy and tingly; he thought he might have a repeat of the puking incident from the car ride. He stood up.
“You fucking shot him? That was you?!”
Tony stormed off. There wasn’t a part of him capable of having this conversation right now. He felt like his entire life had been flipped upside down from remembering Peter, and then flipped once more when he heard that he could lose him again before ever getting to speak to him. He found a chair in another part of the waiting room and was grateful Frank didn't come and talk to him.
A few hours passed, and the nurse from reception came up to him.
“Mr. Stark?” He shot his head up.
“Is he okay?”
“He’s in recovery. He has a room in the ICU. I can bring you?” He nodded and stood immediately.
Tony was brought to the room and was disappointed to see Frank already sitting in there.
“What the fuck are you doing here?”
“Don’t start with me, Stark. It was a fucking accident. And I already feel fucking horrible about it, alright?”
Tony just stared down at him and sat on the other side of the room from him. He pulled a chair close to Peter’s bed.
He looked older. Tony remembered the Peter who was still in high school. This Peter would be a college graduate. This Peter had bags under his eyes and was starting to get more defined crow’s feet. He didn’t look different; he just didn’t look like the bright-eyed kid Tony had always known. Tony was worried about breaking him; he was so worried that one wrong touch would send the kid, hooked up to monitors and IVs, into cardiac arrest. But his hand came to Peter’s cheek. He couldn’t stop himself. He wanted to feel that Peter was real, and this wasn’t some sick, and fucked up dream that his brain decided to torture him with. The tears couldn’t be stopped; he wanted to apologize to Peter so desperately. He wanted to scream that he remembered him and that he wouldn’t forget again.
He leaned his head on the edge of Peter’s bed and took his hand.
Frank broke the silence. “I didn’t know you had a kid.”
“I have two. My daughter is at home.”
Frank nodded.
“Peter isn’t mine biologically.”
“Nice to know the kid’s got a name.”
Tony lifted his head up. “What do you mean?”
“Didn’t know his name was Peter. He never told me. Never even took that damn mask off. This is the first I’m seeing of him.”
Tony just reached to touch Peter’s face again. “What the hell happened, kid?”
He looked around the room; it was filled with cards and more balloons.
“Nurse dropped that stuff off. She said some people had brought things to the front desk.”
Tony looked at the generic grocery store cards; they had flowers or prayers on them. Then his eye caught one.
It was a drawing; it had Peter’s face and the first suit that Tony ever gave him, and it had Ned.
“Ned.” Tony walked over and picked it up. The initials in the corner of the drawing said “M.J,” in cursive.
“MJ,” he said softer.
“You know MJ,” asked Frank.
“She’s Peter’s girlfriend. Are they still together? Do you know where she is? Maybe she knows what happened to my memory.”
Frank shook his head. “From what I’ve gathered, she don’t remember the kid, either. He just brought her to me for safety. Didn’t ever explain who she was.”
This was a nightmare. Tony had so many questions, and every time he was confronted with what could be an answer, he was thrown back into the realization that no one knows a Peter Parker.
—
They had both waited in what turned out to be mostly silence for a few hours. Occasionally, Tony would ask Frank a question about Peter, but Frank rarely knew the answer.
Frank was asleep, and Tony was just about to doze off when Peter’s heart monitor picked up just slightly, and his eyes started fluttering open. Tony practically jumped up, wanting to be the first thing Peter saw. Frank stirred awake, looking over to watch as Peter opened his eyes.
And Tony was the first thing Peter saw. Except his heart quickened more, and it was like he was trying to push himself away.
“NO,” Peter said firmly. “No. Go away.”
“Kid. Kid.” Tony tried to keep his voice calm and even, despite the feeling of panic he felt in his body from Peter clearly not believing it was actually him. “It’s me. It’s me, piccolo mio.” It was a nickname Tony had given to Peter when he was 16. He always assumed Peter never knew what it meant. It was like his secret way of showing Peter affection, especially in the days when he was still afraid to do so. One day, he and Peter were watching a movie, about to order takeout food, and Tony had asked, “What did you want, piccolo mio?” Peter smiled and instead of telling Tony what food he was craving, he said, “You know, I know what piccolo mio means. May speaks Italian.” Tony remembered how red his face felt, how hot he felt, how embarrassed. But before he could reply, Peter said, “It’s my favorite nickname you call me.”
“Tony?” Peter’s voice shook.
Tony nodded, tears in his eyes. “Yeah, kiddo. It’s me.”
Peter, despite how sore he felt, how weak, reached his arms up, and Tony immediately leaned over and hugged Peter. Peter bawled into Tony’s shoulder, and it didn’t take long for Tony to share the sentiment.
“You remember me, Dad.”
“Yeah, I do. I’m so sorry, kid.”
