Chapter Text
This place wasn't nearly as dank as Lee had remembered it being. She couldn't decide if that was disappointing or not- was it just a sign that her outlook on the world had been so bleak, so dim as to color her perception of the world so thoroughly? Or was the fact that she had turned things around- that life was so much better for her now, that she actually wanted to live nowadays- that allowed her to overlook flaws she'd have honed in on when she needed to be sharp enough to do so, just for the sake of her own safety?
Okay, slow your roll there Socrates. It's just a building, it was just probably being maintained for… some reason. It had to be, right? There was still power on- back when she had been homeless, she just assumed that was a lucky break. But it had been years since she'd been here, and against all odds the lights still worked.
Well, the ones that hadn't burned out. Whoever was maintaining this place wasn't doing the most thorough job, huh?
"Earth to Lee, you still in there?"
Ah, right. She hadn't decided to break into a building she squatted in during the worst time of her life for… closure? Something like that- anyway, she hadn't decided to do that boneheaded thing alone. In fact, it hadn't even been her idea. She could blame this entirely as being a Riley Verselis original.
God, they had been annoyingly persistent in getting her to open up. She told herself it was probably some sort of bartender obligation rather than genuine care in the early days, but after going to the Triangle long enough that Riles was pouring an Experiment for her before she'd even gotten to the counter, Lee had to begrudgingly admit that she actually considered them a friend. Close enough to actually spill her guts about her tragic sob-story of a background, without any social lubricant to ease things along. And that wasn't even counting the kicking and screaming Riley had put up from her throughout the entirety of her unnecessary, overly drawn out removal from the glass closet she'd kept herself in.
Fucking wild.
Anyhow, one thing led to another, she told them about how they were homeless for a bit and stayed in some office buildings. They shared an anecdote about exploring abandoned offices for fun (and also because they had been, quote, "An idiot shithead adult with the mindset of an even dumber idiot shithead teenager" at the time), one thing led to another, and wouldn't you know it but they'd apparently BOTH been to the same creepy abandoned office with the oldest working computer known to man. Okay, a bit of an exaggeration, but that desktop was still probably as old as she was.
"Yeah, I'm still with ya," She called back, and jogged over to catch up her partner in crime here. This was technically breaking and entering, after all, "Just thinking about how stupid an idea this is, still."
Riley slugged her in the shoulder. A light and playful one, that she absolutely played up her reaction just to annoy them or get them to laugh. It was a 50/50 shot sometimes, really, god they were suuuuuuuuuch a grump at times.
"C'mon, trust me. It's like… healing for your inner child, or whatever. Cathartic."
She'd heard the reasoning from them the entire drive over- they said it was "A way to prove to yourself how far you've come", and "A way to remember that you were strong enough in the first place to make it", which was just a bunch of sappy bullshit… but that's what made it kinda nice. That she didn't immediately prickle at the mere idea of acknowledging that period of her life was already a surprise to herself, so maybe she could let herself enjoy a sappy moment or two. As a treat.
"I just don't wanna get popcorn lung or something, man," Lee complained, as Riley shoulder-checked the door to the stairwell, the mechanisms stiff from the passage of time.
"Dude, you're not gonna get popcorn lung."
"Okay, black mold then."
Riley let out a breath, turning to Lee as they folded their arms and leaned against the doorway.
"Okay, and what's the not bullshit reason you're being such a stubborn asshole about all this?"
Yeah, leave it to them to know when she's full of it. Lee groaned, head rolling back as her entire stupidly lanky body approached dangerous levels of shrimping. After a few seconds of being dramatic, she huffed a breath. Yeah, okay, that got it out of her system.
"It's just… look, I know all those symbolic reasons you gave about why doing this is a good idea, I do pay attention most of the time- don't fucking snort at me, I do! I just…"
Lee ran a hand through her hair, brushing her choppy bangs from her face, "I was a real piece of work back then, okay? Feels less like I wanna heal my inner child and more like scruff 'em by the neck and shake 'em around a bit for making shit so fucking difficult at the time."
"I get that," Riley said, and now it was Lee's turn to snort a laugh that they ignored, "But we're all our own worst critics. Give younger Lee a bit of grace, she was going through some shit. Of course it seems so easy to fix now, you've had years to think about everything and grow as a person, and she didn't have that."
"Anyone ever tell you how corny you are?"
"Yeah, you. Constantly. Now move your boney ass, pretty sure I remember all that stuff being on the third floor."
"Hey, I'll have you know that the people love my ass!"
"Zoey doesn't count, she thinks CLAMP characters got cake," They drawled back, and Lee could practically hear the shit-eating grin on their face as they continued, "And Anne's just glazing you because she's into you, so she's just biased."
Lee flipped them off, with a resounding "Go fuck yourself, Riles" that echoed up and down the stairwell, causing them to cackle in return as Riley continued to lead her up. The third floor door wasn't nearly as difficult, and Riley held it open for her with a mocking bow. Ladies first, and all that- damn it, she hates how much that actually makes her feel nice…
When Lee looked back on this night in the years to come, it was stuff like this- the banter, the hi-jinks, all interspersed with just enough emotional vulnerability without making her want to itch her skin away- that would be the focus in her mind. Because at the end of the day… well, who the fuck cared about a VR headset that still didn't work? A broken piece of tech wasn't the reason she could be herself now- it was simply the vector through which she had an excuse to hang out with the people who were. Her family of choice, filling in where blood proved too thin, giving her the reason to try.
So long as she had them, she knew she'd be fine.