Archive of Our Own

Lara watched from behind the train doors as Mari's form became smaller and smaller, the black haired girl trying to catch up to the train speeding away from the platform, bringing her to a new life. A different life.

One that wouldn't have Mari in it as much as she wanted.

She stood there watching until Mari's form had become nothing more than a speck in the distance and then finally turned away, sitting down and looking out the window, watching the buildings and mountains pass her by.

The tears were burning behind her eyes, but she blinked several times until the sensation dulled. She had cried enough today. She could cry more tomorrow.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket. Half-expecting it to be Mari, she pulled it out and with a little disappointment, saw that Lisa had texted her.

Let me know when you have arrived at your new home.

Lara texted her back quickly, saying that she would, before putting the phone down in her lap and remembering the second-to-last conversation she had with her sister.

"Do you truly not regret leaving our world forever?"

Lara had felt her mouth twist into a bittersweet smile. "I'll miss it. I'll miss swimming with you and the rest of our family. But I do not regret staying in the human world."

She watched as Lisa frowned and looked away towards the water, clearly thinking about their family and their kingdom.

There was a movement in the corner of her eye, and Lara noticed a familiar figure that always followed Lisa like a little shadow. He was sat at a table farther away from her and Lisa, clearly keeping an eye on the both of them.

Or most likely just Lisa.

"Nee-chan," she began, "I envy you a bit."

Lisa's attention was on her now, along with a raised eyebrow.

Lara cleared her throat. "You can at least stay and be with the one you love."

Her sister's face hardened into a frown. "You don't have to leave Mari behind."

Lara shook her head, giving a tired smile. "No, I have to go."

She didn't know how else she would be able to contain her longing for Mari, didn't know how to love Mari, without being loved in return, without getting away from her first. But those were not things she could share with her sister now. As long as Lisa was concerned, the light was there for their family, and the light was enough.

"I—I need some space. And I do need to be independent and handle things on my own," she had said, her voice failing her towards the end.

Lisa had stared at her unblinkingly, before her gaze returned to the lake, her voice tired but sharp. "That sounds like a weak excuse."

Lara looked towards the mountains and the buildings, half-wondering where Mari was now. "It's still true."

And it was. She had to be independent. All her life, she was fed the idea that she had to find her true love and bring light to the kingdom. Which she did. But she couldn't rely solely on that love. Nor was it the most healthiest thing to do. In her search for answers on the internet, a lot of people talked about romantic love not being end-all and be-all of love.

The train rattled to a slow stop, waiting for the next batch of passengers, and Lara watched as a young couple boarded and sat a few seats down from where she was.

She watched as they spoke animatedly between each other, clearly enjoying their day, their hands intertwined between them. Then they just looked at each other, and kissed.

That was something she was learning to accept that she would never experience.

In the last six months, Lara had learned that it wasn't very common for two women to be together. Especially in this part of the world. That, coupled with how Mari acted towards her after getting out from the lake, as if nothing between them had fundamentally changed, had told her everything she needed to understand.

She loved Mari. And Mari loved her in return. But it was not the way she wanted. Lara could share the same water, the same earth, the same sun, the same air, as Mari. But she would never be able to share the same breath.

"Oh Lara-chan, I think you should still tell her how you feel. Because at least you'd know for sure, no?"

"Hah… Himeka-chan, it's different. I… don't think Mari can see me that way. And if she could see girls in that way, I think… I think I would've been able to notice that by now."

"Hmm… Mari doesn't seem like the type to really have given romantic relationships much thought though…"

"All the more reason to not bring it up. I can't risk what I already have with her."

"And you won't allow yourself to move on?"

"Mari is my true love. The light of my love for her is what sustaining my family and allowing the mermaids to return someday. So as long as she's alive and well, that's enough for me."

"Lara. You deserve a happier ending than this."

Lara had tasted the bitterness in her own smile. "I don't think I got to choose this ending. Otherwise, I would've chosen someone who would've loved me back."

Himeka hadn't said anything, merely giving her a look of pity that Lara would've hated to see on anyone else's face.

"Will you look out for her, Himeka-chan?"

"Do you not actually plan on coming back to her?"

"I do plan on it. I just have to become strong enough first to live together with her again."

Himeka had sighed. For a moment, Lara thought she would deny her request.

"I'll look after her."

"Thank you. I want her to be happy."

"You make her happy."

The image of Mari crying by her side before she boarded the train flashed in her mind's eye.

Lara clenched her hands tightly in her lap. She wanted to reach out and wipe the tears away from Mari's face. To hug and to kiss her. To let her know that everything was going to be okay and that she would eventually be able to handle the limbo she was in, being the perpetual fish out of water, loving but not being loved.

But life wasn't all about true love, the having or not having it, the friendship or romantic kind. Those too were part of the things she had learned over the last few months. She was going to explore the world and learn what it meant to be human. She could find other light, not in a person, not just in what Mari had given to her, but in other places and things.

Eventually.

Mari decided to run through another set of math problems again, needing to do well enough on her upcoming exams. Her missing school for a few days a few months back didn't affect her standing within the boxing club too badly, but her teachers and coach told her that she needed to be in top academic form in order to be able to compete in the next tournament. And she refused to let herself slide.

Her phone buzzed from where it was on her desk, and Mari immediately dropped her pencil, grabbing her phone, hoping that it was Lara.

Instead, it was a message from Luca staring back at her:

Are you and Yoshiya-san free in the upcoming week to get ice cream together?

Mari texted back that she wouldn't be free because of exams, but that her brother would be. She sighed, closing her eyes for a moment.

It had been a while since she had heard from Lara. Technically it had been five weeks, but Mari wasn't counting. The last time they messaged each other, Lara had told her about her new job working at a bakery and how they immediately promoted her to a full-time baker after seeing and tasting the desserts she could make.

Mari tapped on her messages with Lara and looked at the most recent ones.

Lara: Look at this honey castella cake I made!!

Underneath was a picture of a perfectly made honey castella cake, cut into uniform golden yellow spongy square slices. Mari was sure it had made people's mouths water. She had given it a thumbs up and asked for her to share some with her the next time they saw each other again.

Lara: I will!!

It was an odd feeling. To have someone so important be here and yet be distant at the same time. Mari remembered when Luca had described feeling that way with Lara, how Lara kept a part of herself hidden from him, even when they were face to face. At the time, she couldn't really imagine that. Lara was always so open and earnest around her, every emotion laid bare, each one sweeping through every smile, frown, or gasp. Lara looked the most adorable whenever she was confused or learning something new about the human world. It was that look of curiosity and wonder that Mari wanted to protect.

But now, Lara was hiding a part of herself from Mari too. She could feel it. She didn't know when it had happened, but she was sure it had started after the incident at the lake. After she had died and been revived at Lara's hands, and they both of them were floating in the water side by side.

Lara had turned to her right then and there, and told her that she loved her.

Mari had said it back, keeping her eyes closed, relieved that Lara was safe and sound, and by her side. And added confidently, "You're my important person. My best friend."

Lara had remained quiet for a few moments, before whispering that she was her best friend too, and asking if Mari wanted to leave the lake now.

Truthfully, she wanted to stay. To have her own space with Lara a bit longer before her family, before Luca, eventually came in and took Lara away. But she figured after everything that happened, that maybe Lara wanted some time away from the water for now.

So she said, "We can go now, if you want to."

Lara had taken her hand gently but firmly and led her to shore, and there, Mari noticed Lara's ears first. They weren't gills any longer, but actual human ears. She wanted to reach out and touch them but she held back, because Lara was shaking and tears were slipping down her face.

Mari had pulled her into a hug then, doing her best to be soothing by hugging her tightly and staying steady. Lara simply buried her face in her already soaked shirt, her hands clutching at her own chest.

If she could punch and uppercut Lara's grief and sorrow away, she would. But she could only offer this. So she would hold Lara for as long as she needed her to, regardless of whether she could feel her arms or not.

Later on, when Lara felt better enough to make their way back home, Mari asked if she was fully human now since it seemed to be the safest question, and Lara told her that, yes, she was fully human now, and she could never turn back to being a mermaid. As if knowing the questions Mari was holding back for her sake, she began to talk about what happened with her family, about the light of true love, about the hatred mermaids had for humans, and her desire to live in the human world and be among humans despite being taught the villainy of humans.

Mari hummed. She was, in truth, happy that Lara was going to stay on land with her, though she wondered if it was selfish to never want any of Lara's family near her again. But there was another question that nagged at her.

"Lara, who is your true love?"

At that, Lara had stopped in her tracks, looking towards the trees and the mountains, her face hidden from view.

"This world, because it has you in it."

A humming warmth flowed into Mari's chest. "Lara—"

There were voices in the distance, Luca and Yoshiya yelling their names, and for a few seconds, she watched as Lara ran towards them and their boat, before following suit.

Even after getting back home, explaining the entire truth to her family, Lara safely with her, and being in bed, Mari had still felt the warmth of those words radiating throughout her body. She placed her hand on her chest, where her heart was beating strong, pressing down firmly, willing it to stop beating so fast. She had wondered if Lara felt that way too.

But she figured Lara was thinking a lot more about her family. Over the next few months, Lara had slowly retreated into herself. There were moments where Mari wanted to shake her some sense into her, to let her know that it wasn't her fault that her family's kingdom had fallen apart, that it wasn't her fault that her family had placed so much on her shoulders, expected so much of her, tried to shape her in their own image.

Then there was the day where Lara said she was going to move out, adamant about needing a space of her own.

And Mari wanted to support her best friend. "But what about us living together?"

Lara had smiled and said they still would. After she had learned to be on her own.

Mari stared at Lara's photo icon, the redhead grinning at the camera while holding a peach in her hands, while some of her co-workers were smiling widely in the background.

Mari began to type.

Are you free this weekend to come over?

She began to type another message.

I mi—

She quickly deleted it, putting her phone back down and got to work on her math problems, hoping that Lara answered her soon.

Lara: I'm sorry, Mari. I can't get away from work for the next few weeks. There's a lot of catering events to cover. I think I'll have a better schedule next month though!

Mari read the message over and over, fighting against the growing pit of disappointment in her stomach. Lara had responded to her a week later, which felt like the first cut, and this message was just salt in the wound.

Mari: That's alright. Just be careful and don't overwork yourself

Then she slipped her phone into her backpack and slammed the locker door shut. She had a sparring match she needed to focus on.

"Oi, Mari-chan! How long have you been sulking in your room?"

"Onii-chan, I have to study," Mari said, flipping another page in her biology textbook. She wondered idly if Lara would appreciate her fish doodles in her notes, very cute blobs with big eyes and a dopey expression.

Her brother sighed in exasperation. "But you haven't even come out for dinner for the last few days!"

"You can just leave the food by the door, I'll eat in my room."

"Mari! You can't keep doin—"

A knock sounded on Mari's wall, and her grandmother appeared with a plate of food. "Yoshiya-chan, go eat dinner. I'll talk to her."

Yoshiya sighed heavily and left the room, muttering something Mari didn't really care to decipher.

"What is it, Baa-chan?"

Her grandmother put the plate down on her desk, before walking to her bed and sitting on the edge. "You've been very sad since Lara-chan left."

Leave it to Baa-chan to not hold back.

Mari sighed and went back to her textbook, refusing to make eye contact with her grandmother. It was a last defense, but if she looked busy enough, her grandmother might leave—

"She must be really busy, with her new job and all."

Mari nodded.

A silence stretched between them.

Mari stared unthinkingly at the words in her textbook, feeling tears gather at the corner of her eyes, before shaking her head and blinking them away.

"There was quite a happy occasion at church today," her grandmother started, "A wedding between two women."

Mari looked at her then. Same-sex couples weren't something she heard about often where they lived. Mari learned in passing that plenty of other countries that were more progressive and accepting of that kind of love. But she didn't pay it too much mind. She had to become the strongest boxer in the world. But she knew her grandmother had her own opinions, ones that just didn't sit right even from when she was a young child.

"I officiated the wedding between them."

Mari blinked in surprise, caught off-guard. "I thought you didn't—"

Her grandmother looked gracefully ashamed at that. "Before, yes. But… time has taught me a few things. It has taught me that love is love no matter the gender. And that the world must catch up with that truth."

Something in Mari's chest eased, as if a burden was lifted from her shoulders, and now she could run, fast and free like the wind. "What changed your mind?"

"I befriended a woman, who turned out to have a wife. At first, I was appalled. But then I talked with both of them, and recognized their relationship was like any loving other. And then," her grandmother looked at her with a small smile, "I watched two blossoming young women fall in love with each other over a course of time. It was enough to change my heart and mind."

Mari looked at her in confusion. "Who are they?"

Her grandmother shook her head, laughing quietly to herself. "I'll introduce you to them another time."

She got up, patting Mari on the shoulder. "Know that I love you no matter what. Even if you ended up being with a woman."

Lara's face flashed in her mind. Lara at her side, on the couch while they watched her silly romantic dramas together. Lara at her side, when she's about to step into the ring and gain another victory. Lara at her side, and just being together, wherever they are, for the rest of their lives, until they grew old and gray.

Mari really liked that idea. Would Lara want that too? She meant that they would live together eventually. But she wouldn't make her sleep on the floor anymore. They could simply share a bed, her bed, and Lara could choose the bedsheets since Mari didn't really care as long as they were soft. And it would be nice to have Lara close.

Then a voice within her whispered. What would it be like to hold her hand?

Mari wasn't sure, but she figured Lara's hand would be extremely soft considering that she was a princess. But she had been working too, so maybe she had calluses now. Would Lara even like her hands?

She didn't even notice when her grandmother had left and closed the door behind her.

Lara: I'm meeting with Lisa this weekend for an important family meeting. Can we reschedule?

Lara stared at the text message she had sent Mari. It was true that she was meeting with her sister. But it wasn't necessarily the important family meeting that Mari would probably take it for.

Lisa just wanted to know how she was settling in and to spend some time together, most likely to try and repair their damaged relationship. Lisa had resented her, maybe still resented her still, but she was also trying to be there. After she told Lisa that she was moving to be on her own, Lisa started giving her tips and advice about how to live in the human world, some of which she knew because of Mari and many that were completely new to her. She was extremely grateful for that. And she did want to see her sister too.

"You are avoiding Mari," a voice that sounded suspiciously like Aunt Grace echoing in her mind, "Coward. I expected better from you."

"I am a coward, Aunt Grace," she murmured, holding her phone to her chest, huddled by the side of her bed, feeling tears prickling from behind her eyes, "I can't face the girl I love. But I saved her and made sure she's still in this world. Isn't that enough for now?"

She remembered what Mari had told her about her Aunt, what she had gone through, what had happened to her because of her true love's rejection, and what her father had done to her.

She wished her Aunt had gotten her own happy ending. She wished they had more time together.

The voice did not respond.

Her phone vibrated in her hands.

Mari: Yeah, no problem. But if she hurts you, you better tell me.

Lara laughed out loud, wiping her tears away, clutching her phone with one hand. She had to keep believing that there would come a day that she could truly live in the same world as Mari, loving her without having her. But for now, she had to keep focusing on herself.

She began to type.

She won't. But I'll let you know

Mari sighed, putting her phone away. and slung her backpack over her shoulder.

"Lara-chan isn't able to come and visit?" Himeka asked, walking with her.

Mari shook her head. "She has a family thing to attend to."

The other girl made a noise of disappointment. "She'll be missing this year's festival then. I hope she's able to come and visit soon."

"Me too."

Himeka seemed to watch her for a few moments, then, "Cheer up, Mari-chan! Lara will visit eventually. She asked me to check up on you, you know."

Mari gave her a look of confusion. "She did?"

Himeka nodded enthusiastically. "Mhm. We talked on the phone recently she said that when you're sad, it's important to make sure you have plenty of time with friends and to also have hot chocolate."

Mari huffed, her cheeks warming, feeling a strange sting in her chest that Himeka got to hear Lara's voice, but it was somewhat soothed at the memory of introducing Lara to hot chocolate. "Is—is that what she really said?"

Himeka raised an eyebrow. "Is she wrong?"

"… No."

Lara: Sorry, Mari. I haven't been feeling well. We'll reschedule call and hangout for sure!

Mari sighed in frustration, taking a few deep breaths before replying. The last thing she wanted was to take out her anger on Lara, which would be unkind especially since she was sick.

Yeah, that's fine. Have plenty of soup. Take care of yourself.

Before she slipped her phone back into her pocket, it buzzed again.

Lara: You too

She slipped her phone in her pocket, making her way to the place Luca wanted to meet, where it was painted with the colors of the setting sun. To no one's surprise, it was the bridge where he had first seen Lara and where she had thrown her into the lake to keep him from seeing her mermaid form.

"Oi! Mari-chan!" Luca ran up to meet her, panting a little as he did so. "Are you ready to get some ice cream?"

"Mm."

"I know a good place. I wasn't able to bring Lara there," he said, gesturing her to follow him, "but I will the next time she comes to visit."

"Mm."

Mari fell into step beside him, wondering when exactly Lara would be able to visit. Every time she had asked, the plans seemed to fall through at the very last second. It had been 6 months now, without Lara visiting at least once. "She's been very busy."

"Oh I know! Last night, we were on the phone talking and she told me—"

Mari stopped in her tracks, feeling a strange, bitter sensation rising in her chest. "What? What do you mean talking on the phone?"

Luca looked at her in confusion. "Err… talking on the phone? Calling each other—"

"I haven't talked to her on the phone." The words left her throat without her permission, cutting straight through whatever Luca wanted to say next.

He blinked, clearly unsure what to say, and then, "That's odd. She asks about you, and talks about you often."

Then his expression turned into panic, "Mari-chan. You—"

She blinked, feeling the tears slip down her face. Another betrayal of her body.

Luca was fumbling with his bag now, pulling out a small handkerchief and holding it out to her politely.

She took it from him and turned away, roughly wiping at her eyes. She was Lara's most important person. Her best friend. So why hasn't she heard her voice? Why did Lara never choose to call? Doesn't she know she would pick it up in a heart beat?

Mari clenched her eyes shut. Lara had her reasons. She had to trust that. That and Luca was the person Lara thought to be her prince, her physical form of a true love. They had that connection. That wasn't something Mari could ever compare to.

But Himeka had mentioned the phone calls she had with Lara a few times too.

She turned back to Luca, giving him back the damp handkerchief. "Let's get some ice cream."

"Mari—"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Ah…"

They walked to the ice cream in an awkward silence until Luca broke the silence.

"Lara said—"

"Luca," she warned.

But he barreled on, "Lara told me that she was leaving to find a new light in another place. Do you know what she meant by that?"

She shook her head. "No. She told me she needed a space of her own. To be independent."

And eventually, we would live together again, Mari thought, but he doesn't need to know that.

"Huh… she never said anything like that to me."

Mari kept walking. "Looks like we're both learning new things today."

Luca hummed, sounding thoughtful, "I—I wonder why she told us different things."

She said nothing. The answer was pretty obvious. Lara had a special connection with Luca.

"Mari-chan…" Luca started slowly, "I… think you should visit Lara soon."

Mari faltered in her steps, but kept walking towards the ice cream shop. "Visit?"

Luca nodded. "If she can't visit, then you have to meet her where she's at."

"Meet her where she's at…"

"If she can't come here, then you have to go to her."

The idea of visiting Lara made Mari feel a peculiar nervousness in the pit of her stomach, a kind she had never felt, even when facing the strongest member of the opposing team. She wasn't sure where she stood with Lara anymore. After all these months, Lara never called her nor asked to call her. But she called Luca, she called Himeka. Both of them were important to Lara in different ways. But she was important to Lara too, wasn't she? So why didn't she want to talk to her on the phone when Mari offered? After everything they had been through, didn't Lara understand what she meant to her?

Maybe Lara didn't understand fully. But if she visited her in person, maybe then Lara would finally understand.

"Okay, I'll—I'll go to her."

Luca nodded jerkily to the point where Mari thought he would lose his head. "YES! You have to go to her! And make sure to bring her a gift too!"

"R—right!"

Am I really going to go through with it? Mari wondered as she squared her shoulders, breathing deeply, waiting for her match to start. To show up uninvited?

I could ask and wait for when it would be a good time. I don't want to bother her.

Her opponent's name was announced. And Mari knew hers was soon to follow.

But Lara has been avoiding me, evading all the attempts to hang out or talk on the phone. I don't want it to go on like this.

"OTSU MARI!!"

The crowd cheered and roared as Mari stepped up and got into the ring, staring her opponent down.

So I have to face her head on. Make her look at me.

The bell rang and as soon as her opponent got into her range, Mari saw the opening and threw the first punch.

Mari looked at her phone, following the directions to Lara's house, carrying the special cake box with one arm, grateful that Lara didn't live too far away from the train station. She found the street where Lara lived and felt her heart begin to pound faster, following the rhythm of her sneaker-clad feet hitting the pavement when she ran each morning.

She slowly approached the house. It was two stories and somewhat small in size, with a balcony on the second floor. She could imagine Lara sitting there, having dinner and looking at the moon.

Mari got closer to the door and rang the doorbell. A loud thud sounded from behind the door, with a familiar voice yelling apologies.

Mari laughed under her breath, clutching the cakebox tightly.

The door opened, and Lara was there, dressed in a large white t-shirt and light blue shorts that went to the middle of her thighs, surprise sweeping through her expression.

It was small, minute. But Mari had noticed it, in the clench of Lara's jaw, in the way Lara's shoulders pulled back slightly.

Lara became tense at seeing her.

A seed of worry and despair was nestling itself in her abdomen.

Did I do something wrong? No—I have to focus.

Mari cleared her throat. "Can I come in?"

Lara stared at her for a few more seconds. "Oh! Of course," she gestured awkwardly for her to enter.

Mari stepped into her home, taking off her shoes and finding her way to the kitchen. She noticed a bunch of tiny, different cakes boxes that are half opened on the table along with a notebook and pen, the sea-themed hand towels decorated with blue seashells and orange starfish, and fridge magnets of fish and other sea creatures holding notes.

She placed the cake box on the counter before taking a closer look at the fridge. There were little notes filled with Lara's handwriting. It was still terrible but not as unreadable as it once was when Lara started learning from her and Lisa. From what Mari could figure out, most of the notes were reminders, inventory lists, and old grocery lists.

"Sorry for the mess! Our bakery got hit with a massive catering order, but the client didn't know specifically what he wanted and so my manager told me to bring different cakes home to try and match what fits our client's flavor profile. I love cake but I feel like I need a break from it after this."

Mari laughed, turning to see Lara standing near the far wall, giving her a wide berth. The laughter died in her throat.

Lara won't even stand next to me?

She had to ease into this. To move slowly but steadily. Find the right opening. "It's alright, Lara. You—you seem like you're doing well here on your own."

A tiny grin graced Lara's lips. "Heh, yeah… I am."

The silence began to rear its head, foreign and uncomfortable. Silences with Lara were always peaceful, but now…

Mari didn't want to continue thinking in that direction. "So… how have you been? You've been really busy."

"Oh yeah, I have been," Lara said, looking away from her towards the cakes on the table, "I've just been really busy at work, but it's been really rewarding at the same time. Seta-san put in a really good word for me, and my co-workers have all been really nice."

There was a strange tension in Lara's voice. One Mari recognized as her trying to be happy while being afraid.

But why?

She took a step closer. "How has your sister been?"

"Lisa is doing okay," Lara said, who was looking at everything else but her, "Her and Kota have plenty of time on their hands right now with our family still recovering, so they've been exploring more around Lake Biwa—"

Mari took another step closer. "Lara."

"—Lisa told me how she worked in an aquarium for many years and—"

"Lara."

"—it's really quite amazing that humans and mermaids both came from the ocean—"

"Lara. Look at me."

Lara looked at her then, and her eyes were teary.

Mari tensed, feeling the instinctive need to drop into her boxing stance. "What's wrong? Why have you been avoiding Otsu City? Why—" the words trembling and choking her from the inside, "Why have you been avoiding me?"

"Mari—I—" Lara gasped, tears sliding down her face, "I—I—don't—"

Mari reached out swiftly, pulling her into a hug, only to be shoved away. It hurt, but she had come all this way. She refused to back down.

She caught Lara's wrists in a soft, but firm grip. "What happened? Did I do something wrong? Did I say something wrong? Please just tell me—"

"I—can't! I can't!" Lara yelled, her voice hoarse and raw, clenching her eyes closed.

The frustration and disappointment, worry and despair coiling up in Mari's stomach, stabbing her with each breath, crawling up into her throat, threatening to turn to bile. "Why? We're important to each other, aren't we—"

"I love you."

"And I love you too—"

Lara growled in frustration, wrenching her wrists back from Mari. "Mari, no! You don't get it! I—I want to kiss you."

Mari felt it. Those words punching her right in the stomach, taking her breath away, her ears ringing, and something… something she didn't fully understand, beginning to slot into its correct place. "…What?"

Lara had already stepped further away from her, pressing up against the wall, tears streaming down her face.

Mari felt her heart ache at the sight. Lara… oh Lara…

Lara coughed, trying to wipe her tears away. "I want to kiss you. I want to hold your hand," her voice shaking, "I—I want to take you out on dates."

Mari imagined it all. Kissing Lara, holding her hand, bringing Lara to places that she would love. But also cuddling Lara, holding her close, Lara in her bed—

Blood was rushing in her veins, the exhilaration similar to winning a match thundering through her, a quiet truth opening itself to her at last. A voice whispering, yes, this is what I want.

Gon-chan voice's echoed in her mind. "Live for love, not for the laws."

Mari's eyes widened. Did Gon-chan already know before she did?

"Lara, I—"

But her love was already turning away. "I know how you feel, Mari. You don't need to say anything—"

"Please. Stop. Talking."

Lara stayed quiet, not meeting her eyes.

"Don't look away from me," Mari said, her voice, rough with frustration. "Look at me, please."

Lara's breath hitched before she looked at her. Her eyes were red-rimmed, and her frame looked small and vulnerable, just like the day when Mari walked the path paved by seashells and found her in the center of the lake.

She stepped closer to Lara. "You're doing it again. Trying to keep something inside. When you could've talked to me. When you could've said something—"

"Why would I say something when I already know the answer?" Lara shot back, anger rising in her voice.

Mari quietly noted how hot she sounded but now was not the time, moving closer slowly to keep Lara from bolting away, clenching her fists. "You assumed my answer."

"Wait… what?"

The look of confusion Lara gave her while processing her words was too adorable.

Mari stepped fully into Lara's space, cupping her face with one hand, looking at the shape of Lara's lips and mouth, plump and quivering, before looking up and seeing Lara's eyes completely focused on her own lips.

Mari felt a swell of pride and warmth in her chest, before tilting her chin up and slowly leaning in, waiting for Lara to move towards her too.

And she did.

When their lips touched, Mari felt her eyes slipping shut automatically, overwhelmed by the feeling of Lara's lips on hers. They were so soft and gentle, like kissing the petals of a fresh blooming rose.

Mari didn't know much about kissing, but figured it couldn't be too different from boxing. She pushed closer towards Lara, catching the redhead by the hips as she slid slightly down the wall so that they were face-to-face. A whimper sounded from Lara's throat, and the need to hear that sound again began to build within Mari's blood. Lara wrapped her arms around her neck, grasping the back of her head, fingers tangling into her hair. Mari let her other hand slip to Lara's waist, gripping firmly as she kept moving her lips against Lara's, pulling back to get a better angle before diving into her again, keeping up her offensive, enjoying the moans Lara was giving her, enjoying the way Lara tugged at her hair.

Then Lara gasped, an opportunity that Mari took, her tongue brushing against Lara's, soft and moist, tasting something sweet, maybe fruit, maybe cake. Maybe unmistakably Lara.

It was also a little bit addictive. Mari wanted more.

But Lara pulled away, gasping, standing up fully, with Mari chasing after her mouth, refusing to let her get away that easily.

"Mari—I—can't breathe…"

Mari smirked, chuckling.

Lara gripped her shirt by the shoulders, her cheeks pink, pouting, her lips swollen from the kisses, "Do… do not laugh at me."

Mari rocked onto her toes and pressed another kiss to Lara's lips before pulling away but still holding her close. "Is that the entire reason why you couldn't stay?"

Lara shook her head. "Coming into the human world, meeting everyone, meeting you, falling in love with you—" Mari squeezed her hip instinctively, making Lara tremble slightly before she continued on "—I learned many things. During those six months, after everything that happened, as much as I wanted to stay and live with you, it was all too much. I went looking for answers on the internet because it hurt. It hurt to love you and not be loved in return. And I learned that I can't just rely on romantic love. That I have to be independent and find the light in other places and things."

Mari had to agree. But Lara could rely on her, on her love. "How was I supposed to know that you loved me like that if you didn't talk to me about it?"

Lara tilted her head, raising an eyebrow. "I thought my feelings for you were clear. With the dagger and you dying, me finding you and bringing you back. I wanted you to live and be in the world. You're—you're my true love. I love this world because you're in it," her voice shook, "And I told you I love you when we were in the lake. And how you responded… I figured you didn't feel the same."

Mari's heart was thundering against her chest. She remembered that moment. She held it close to her heart. But Lara had meant a romantic love all those months ago. That's why she had reacted the way she did after, distant and subdued. And then a wave of embarrassment washed over Mari. "I—I thought you had meant what you had said in a… platonic way."

The light in Lara's eyes dimmed slightly. "Yeah… I understand. Two women being together isn't the most common thing around here."

Mari couldn't help herself. She leaned in and kissed Lara softly, enjoying Lara's noise of surprise, before pulling back. "Yeah… but that is changing. Baa-chan told me a few months ago that she officiated a wedding between two women."

Lara was gazing at her with wonder, "Really?"

Mari nodded. "And she told me that at first, she didn't really understand how and why two women would be together. But then she befriended a women who was married to another woman, and it clicked for her that it's just a regular romantic relationship. That love is love. And then she told me that she would support me if I ended up with a woman. And then I thought about you—" she breathed in sharply, seeing the corners of Lara's eyes filling with tears, "—but nothing clicked until you told me you wanted to kiss me."

A stunned silence. Lara was blinking at her, clearly processing what she just said.

Mari held her breath.

Then Lara was laughing softly to herself, leaning her head back and gently hitting it against the wall, "Of course. You have to have something right in front of you after all."

Mari squared her shoulders, stepping back slightly and holding both of Lara's hands, tightening her hold. "I—"

Why do I feel so vulnerable trying to say "I love you" now that I know the weight of these words?

And Lara was gazing at her expectantly, hope flickering in her eyes. Mari couldn't—wouldn't let her down.

"—I know I want you. I know I want this. For as long as you'll have me."

Lara's eyes flickered to their hands before looking at Mari again, her throat making a visible swallowing motion, her voice wavering, "You—you want me?"

Mari froze for a second and then nodded, the thought of losing this, losing Lara, becoming a known possibility, her words coming out in a rush, "I want to be with you. The words are hard to say right now, but please know that I do feel the—"

"Mari."

Mari quieted, not looking away from Lara.

Lara, who gave her a teary joyful smile. "Yes. I would like that very much."

There was a blooming sensation of happiness and relief in Mari's chest, bursting open and encompassing her entire body, setting her nerves alight. Mari leaned forward on her toes and Lara met her halfway, their lips meeting in the ways that lovers do, their rest of their bodies following soon after.

Mari knew she would gladly drown in Lara if she asked. She would be the sailor taken by the beautiful siren of the sea. And she would find the courage to say those three words to Lara to let her know that she always was, and always will be.

Mari watched as Lara talked animatedly with her father and brother in the living room about her new apartment and work adventures.

"So is Mari coming back to live with us?" her grandmother asked.

Mari shook her head. "No, but she will be visiting more often now."

She felt a smile playing at her lips, her face hurting from happiness, thinking about all of the things that she and Lara could do together now. There were also talks of the town hosting a pride parade next year, and she knew Lara would definitely want to go see that.

"I'm happy for you both."

Mari whipped her head around to look at her grandmother in confusion, before feeling the realization washing over her.

Her grandmother was giving her a knowing smirk, and then Mari blushed and smiled back.

Then she looked at Lara, who was already looking at her, her expression sheepish at being caught for staring.

Mari grinned, announcing, "Dinner is ready!"

Mari had never been the little spoon before. But here she was, wrapped up in Lara's arms, and said girl was pressing her face in the crook of her neck. She was so warm, in a good way. It didn't take much to convince Lara to sleep in the same bed as her, which was a relief. But this was all still very new for her.

She wondered if Lara could feel her rapid heartbeat.

She stared out into the darkness, listening to Lara's breathing, a sound she had missed for a long time. Lara wasn't asleep yet, not fully. But she was getting there.

Mari reached out into the darkness, searching until she found her target. She pulled Lara's hand close to her chest, pressing a few kisses to her knuckles, hoping that Lara could feel each little "I love you" that she still struggled to say, feeling a pleased hum against the back of her neck.

Then, slowly, her hand over Lara's, she intertwined their fingers together, squeezing slightly.

Lara pulled her closer, and squeezed gently in kind.

In this moment, and in many more to come, all was right within their world.