Chapter Text
Well here we go. New place, new friends(?), no malaise! Hopefully. I was recently able to flee the island with Collector and Time Keeper. Apparently they're my “parents” now. Which is stupid. I'm a grown ass man. But apparently the people who got us off the island think I shouldn’t be allowed to live on my own. That's bullshit though. Anyways.
I just got out of the moving truck. TK got here a couple days ago to get things set up. (She hates it when I call her that.) It looks like a fairly nice neighborhood. At least we’re not the ones paying for it. Apparently this place is some kind of growing community for inhumans and humans to live together, so we got to move here basically for free as long as we all “participate with the community”. Ugh.
Collector is yelling at me. I'm not paying attention. He’ll get over it. I’m more interested in seeing the neighborhood. There’s actually a lot of people outside right now. Next door there’s some lady playing with a little kid. They're swordfighting with sticks. I could show them how to really swordfight. That would be fun.
Down the street, at the house on the corner, there’s some guy taking out the trash. He has some kind of little robot flying around him. He actually looks pretty miserable. Hmm, I wonder what's up with that.
My wonderings are very rudely interrupted by Collector grabbing my arm.
“Beheaded, come inside, I don’t have the patience for your inane antics after that long drive,”
I make a face at him. Well I try to. All I can really do is scrunch up the weird little star on my not-head. If I had a tongue I would stick it out. He just rolls his stupid glowing eyes at me and leads us into the house.
It’s nice, I guess. We walk through the front door into a living room. There's a couch, and an armchair. Pretty standard stuff. Oh FUCK THERES A TV. I REALLY wanna watch tv. We didn't have one at our old place and all the nOrMaL humans kept talking about it. I think they might’ve been making fun of me actually. Because i didnt know what a tv was. Little shits. They were all “OooO0oO ItS a MaGic MovInG PicTuRe BoX OO00oo0oOO”. I glad we moved.
Well enough thinking, it’s time to be annoying. It’s what I’m good at after all.
“COLLECTOR. THEY GOTS A MAGIC MOVING PICTURE BOX,”
He gives me an amazingly satisfying pissed off look.
“You know what a television is”
“(heheh) Yeah… Let's turn it on! Where's the magic wand!”
“The remote control,”
TK comes in to watch me work my magic.
“You know he only does that to annoy you,”
“We will have time to explore the television later. For now you need to accustom yourself to the house, as do I,”
I make a fart sound. Why? Because I can. How? Who knows, I don't even have lips. But he’s right and I do kinda want to see the rest of the house. It’s definitely bigger than the old one. There’s a full kitchen with an ice box and everything. (I know it’s called a fridge but whatever). I can't wait for TK and Collector to never let me cook anything. That story’s for another time though.
There's a garage. TK’s car is in there. Also her very badly hidden swords. I’ll have to grab them before Collector can rehide them. They didnt let me bring any of my weapons. There’s a side room that is remarkably empty. I already know what's gonna go in there though. That's definitely gonna be Collectors lab. The rest of the bottom floor is just a bathroom and a room with laundry stuff. I also won't be allowed to use those. I tried to take a ride in a dryer once. I needed a new body after that.
Upstairs are the bedrooms. Of which there’s only 2. One is the master bedroom and the other one is mine. So. Collector and TK are sharing a room. I will have so many opportunities later. There are 2 separate beds in there though. I can fix that.
My room is just a standard bedroom really. A bed, a desk, a rug, and a window. I’ll have to make it interesting later.
“So, what do you think?”
I’m pretty sure TK thinks we’re judging her. And her interior decoration skills are actually horrible. Instead of saying that I just give her a thumbs up and backflip onto the bed. (Totally in a cool and badass way and not at all clumsy). Tk and Collector share a look.
“It’s a good start Time Keeper. It may take some time to make it our own but this will do for now. Beheaded. It’s getting late and you should be tired from the long drive,”
I am absolutely not tired, and am, in fact, jumping up and down on my bed. Collector must be losing his touch or something.
“You should go to bed so we can explore town tomorrow morning,”
Fuck that, I wanna explore now. So I make a plan. The sun isn't even down yet! They probably just want me out of the way. So I just tell him,
“You got it!”
And flop down onto the bed, hiding under the blankets. Collector gives me one of his trademark withering looks. He knows full well how bad I am at following directions.
“Stay Here,”
He should know better than to leave me alone in a room with a very openable looking window.