Archive of Our Own

It’s a nice house.

That’s what Kageyama thinks he’s supposed to say, even if the words don’t quite make it to his lips. With the wide-eyed look Kuroo Tetsurou is giving him, he feels as though saying just that would be rather inadequate. So he focuses, dropping his luggage by the door as he paces around the open space that seems to be a mixture of a living room and some sort of gaming arena.

He feels Kuroo on his heels. Sees him in his peripheral vision peaking his head around to try and get a look at Kageyama’s expression. A thought flicks through his mind that he should try to smile, but more often than not, he looks mildly threatening when he tries.

Instead, he tries again. Another room. Kitchen. Rather large, sleek counter-tops. There are still dishes in the sink from his host's breakfast, and there’s an ungodly amount of Kodzuken and Bouncing Ball merchandise on every counter that Kageyama can see. It’s well-lived-in, a loved kitchen. Idly, Kageyama imagines both Kuroo and Kenma spending hours together cooking.

The image fades quickly. Kenma and cooking aren’t a likely duo.

He moves on. Ah, a proper gaming room. Kenma is in this one, sitting cross-legged on the floor as he fiddles with a handheld device that Kageyama doesn’t recognise. His eyes lift when Kageyama walks in, then immediately lower again as though his presence is inconsequential. That’s okay, Kageyama doesn’t think he’s capable of small talk at the moment anyway.

This room is overwhelming. He doesn’t like it. But the wallpaper is nice. Well, it might have been. It’s covered in more merchandise and various game posters.

Kenma doesn’t greet him or wish him well when he leaves. He briefly hears Kuroo chastise him before catching up to where Kageyama is making his way down the hallway. Oh, now he’s babbling. Kageyama half tunes in. He’s talking about one of the three spare rooms – three. Leading him to where he’ll be sleeping for the next week while they put together some sort of promotional video for the Volleyball Association.

Kuroo slides the door open and gestures with a wide arm to a… bedroom. The windows are clean. The bed looks comfortable.

And his host is still staring at him, waiting for a compliment of some sort. Okay. Yes. He can do this.

“It’s a nice house,” Kageyama says.

Damn it.

Kuroo’s shoulders sag, but then he laughs. His hand comes to brush down his face, and he shoots Kageyama a helplessly fond look. “You know, I’m not sure what I was hoping for. Thanks, Kageyama. Make yourself at home.”

“I left my luggage by the door.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll bring it. Just… call the shorty, will you? He’s been blowing up Kenma’s phone all day asking if you were here yet.”

Oh. Hinata. Yes, that’s a wonderful idea.

Kageyama brushes past Kuroo and sits himself down on the edge of the bed, phone already in hand as he scrolls through it to find Hinata. He hears Kuroo chuckle again, but then the door slides shut and Kageyama is free to set up the video call.

It connects after two rings, despite the fact that Kageyama knows it’s 1am in Brazil.

A head of orange hair greets him in a darkened room, and then a face pops up from blue covers to reveal bright eyes and a small smile.

“There you are. I thought you got lost navigating Tokyo.”

Kageyama smiles. And it doesn’t even look like a grimace.

“I used maps on my phone.”

“So, he does learn. Proud of you.”

Before Kageyama can say anything else, Hinata starts to go on a sleepy ramble about his day. As has been their routine for the last six months. Since Hinata had gone back to Brazil, but not before the declaration of remaining in contact with Kageyama in case of an ‘emergency team match’. It’s an excuse, even Kageyama can work that out. But he’s enjoying this. This new… connection they have.

Well, not new. He’s known Hinata for just over seven years.

And he finds comfort in familiarity. In whatever warmth that settles in his stomach whenever he lays eyes on his high school teammate. Probably his best friend, if he were feeling sentimental. Hearing about his day, listening to him talk. It all makes him feel… good. Nostalgia, he thinks.

One day, their schedules will be clear enough that they can meet up. Do this face to face, instead of navigating time differences and having a screen in the way. But for now, Kageyama is happy.

Hinata is talking about some drama at his practice when his sentence is broken up by a yawn. Kageyama lets out a small laugh.

“I kept you up?”

“I wanted to make sure you got there okay. Wouldn’t have been able to sleep if I hadn’t heard from you.”

Kageyama nods. That makes sense. He feels quite unmoored if he doesn’t get a goodnight phone call from Hinata, too.

“Well, I’m here. I don’t want to be the reason you’re exhausted at your training tomorrow.”

Hinata pushes himself up properly, and Kageyama watches as he tries to fluff up his pillow. It doesn’t look particularly comfortable, but Hinata has never really been that interested in luxury. Even though he does indulge in it when it’s there. Kageyama can admire that. More focused on the game than the rewards it might bring.

He presses the palm of his free hand into his eye, trying to look more alert. The end result is just looking more sleepy, and Kageyama’s chest aches for a reason unknown to him. Concerned about his welfare around his team, no doubt.

“Not training tomorrow,” Hinata says, “Meeting up with someone. You’ll never guess who’s in Brazil.”

Kageyama blinks. He sounds excited, but he can’t possibly imagine who would elicit such a reaction. He’s still here, Kenma is still here. As far as he’s aware, no one else from their high school team has gone over to visit their shining star.

When it’s clear he’s hitting a blank, Hinata beams.

“Oikawa!”

That’s not interesting at all. “Oh.”

“Don’t pull that face. He’s not that bad anymore. Well, okay. He is, but- in a more adult way. You know?”

Kageyama doesn’t know. He also doesn’t particularly care about his old mentor beyond going above and beyond to prove he’s better. He respects him and is pleased when he sees him doing well. But what he does in his free time is rather irrelevant. Although it does irk him that he gets to see Hinata while he’s stuck in Japan.

Not stuck. Hinata is stuck. Hinata should be back in Japan.

He huffs, “Why isn’t he in Argentina?”

“Dunno. I’ll ask him tomorrow. You want me to say hi?”

“If you want. What time are you seeing him?”

“Not telling. You’ll set an alarm to call me right in the middle of it just because you’re petty.”

Well, he’s not wrong. Hinata laughs again and pushes out his bottom lip, and it takes Kageyama a moment too long to realise that Hinata is mocking him. Copying his own pout that has crossed his lips without permission. He schools his expression back into apathy, but that only makes Hinata laugh more.

It’s a nice sound, at least.

“I get it, you know,” Hinata says. His voice is softer now. Quieter. It has Kageyama leaning in, even though it makes no difference at all. “I wanna call you all the time, too. I just- I wanna be around you, you know? Do you know? It’s worse when I’m playing, actually.”

Kageyama stays silent. Tilts his head in question.

Hinata lets out an unsure chuckle. “It makes me think of you, right? Makes me wish you were here.”

Ah. “Because you think I’d be a better partner than your current one? I don’t play beach volleyball.”

There’s a pause. Then Hinata is shaking his head.

“No. No, not- Ah. I had an idea of how to say this before I saw you, but you make my mind go funny,” he says. And Kageyama can sort of understand. He forgets to say things too. He wonders if Hinata’s mind feels the same way as Kageyama’s chest when they talk. “I wish we could have more than phone calls and friendly catch-ups. I sorta wish we were together all the time. Like we… used to be. But… more? Us. Together?”

Kageyama frowns, “Like teammates? Because we will be if you can qualify for the Olympic team and-”

Hinata lets out a frustrated sound. “I’m not talking about Volleyball, Kageyama.”

Not…

Talking about Volleyball?

“What else is there with us, then?”

Hinata says nothing. The silence that follows Kageyama’s question almost feels like static. He watches a variety of emotions flicker across Hinata’s face, but he can’t quite work out a single one. Eventually, the one he settles on is sheepish. Maybe a bit hurt.

Kageyama isn’t sure what he said wrong.

But Hinata doesn’t look happy anymore.

“Right,” Hinata says. There’s an attempt to sound light there, but Kageyama knows. He’s learned when Hinata is hiding. “Understood loud and clear. Sorry, I think I read into something that obviously wasn’t there.”

Kageyama thinks he’s missed something. Opens his mouth to ask more.

But then Hinata is moving his phone again. “You know, I think I will go to bed. Probably will practice tomorrow, you know me. Can’t get enough. See you!”

The voice is cheerful, but Kageyama can tell he’s anything but. And when the line goes dead before Kageyama can utter a single reply, he feels as though something has gone horrendously wrong.

Hinata doesn’t call him to say goodnight for the first time in months.

At first, Kageyama wasn’t quite sure why Kuroo asked Kenma’s opinion on everything when it came to this Volleyball project, but apparently it was being streamed. Or… recorded and put on his channel. Something about more publicity, or so Kuroo is declaring loud and proud. Kageyama doesn’t know much about that. He just knows that his phone is devastatingly quiet while catching Hinata’s name on Kenma’s phone more than three times.

Four.

Okay, eight times exactly. Not that Kageyama has been counting or anything. It’s just distracting him, really. Waiting for Hinata's reply to any of his messages, to send him some sort of sign of life while Kuroo – and Bokuto, who’s part of this production, too – loudly orders everyone around.

At least the crowd is small. Kageyama worried that there’d be more people, more small talk to make. But the others in attendance don’t seem all that interested in idle conversation.

Akaashi isn’t part of the actual activity itself, and he seems more preoccupied with tapping away on his phone than paying attention to anything either of the loudmouths in the room are saying. Bokuto had told everyone that wherever he went, Akaashi had to follow. Because he was both good luck and amazing to look at. Not that anyone actually asked, but he blathered about him for another five minutes anyway.

The other, Iwaizumi, looks like he’d rather be anywhere else. Kageyama hasn’t really seen him since he graduated, nor has he had any desire to have anything to do with him. The feeling doesn’t seem to be completely mutual, with Iwaizumi checking and making sure he was alright. He’s a trainer now, or so he’s said. Told him he’d probably be working alongside the Olympic team when the time came.

He pointedly says nothing about Oikawa. And while Kageyama’s gut burns at the thought of his old mentor and Hinata spending time together, he recognises the pinched expression when someone mentions Tooru’s name in passing. Social cues aren’t his thing, but he’s worked enough out that he doesn’t ask him.

“Right, so-”

Kuroo takes Kageyama by the shoulders, directs him until he’s sitting directly next to Kenma. Kenma glances at him again from his position on a rather expensive-looking gaming chair, one leg pulled up while he precariously balances both his phone and handheld console on his knee and the arm of the chair. Kageyama doesn’t look down when Kenma’s phone lights up and meets his stare instead.

His expression gives nothing away, save for the slight narrowing of his eyes. Kageyama has never understood Kenma, not in the way Hinata does. Once, he’d despised that. The connection the two of them had. Even now, his body itches with something unpleasant. A feeling he can’t quite put his finger on.

Kuroo rests a heavy arm on Kageyama’s head. “You and Bokuto, stars that you are, will sit on either side of Kenma while he talks about the events coming up and the charity games we’ll be running in the next six months or so. I’ll come in with Iwaizumi, and we’ll go over the more technical behind-the-scenes details.”

Bokuto nods enthusiastically. “Can I talk about why people should watch games with me? More than anyone else?”

“You’re going to be in all of them, moron.” Kenma mumbles. It doesn’t sound mean, though. If anything, Kenma sounds a tiny bit fond. Kageyama wonders how often they hang out.

Kageyama hasn’t really had that. A solid friendship group. Not since they all graduated.

He doesn’t have a lot of time to dwell on that. Despite Kenma’s less-than-interested stance on the entire thing, he seems a bit like a machine when Kuroo actually asks him to help set things up. He’s adjusting the camera, typing furiously on his computer until Kageyama sees his own face reflected back to him on the screen. Kuroo is directing behind him, moving Iwaizumi to stand behind him and Bokuto to lean happily against Kenma’s other side.

Kenma smiles at him. Bokuto grins back before looking past him and shooting Kageyama a thumbs up.

He’ll never understand how he can seem to be in a permanent state of joy and optimism.

A timer is set, and Kenma hits record. The moment a little dot on the screen turns red, Kenma breaks into a speech about everything Kuroo had been talking about. There’s no paper around him, nothing that prompts him or gives him extra details. And Kageyama realises, a little sheepishly, that they truly are a team in this. Even if one of them acts uninterested most of the time.

Like he and Hinata would have been.

Kageyama doesn’t find himself saying much as they start to sell the string of matches, talking about the charities they’re going to be donating to and how often they’ll be holding after-match events. Occasionally, Bokuto and Kuroo will ask for his input, and he gives short but appropriate answers. No one asks more of him, and Kageyama is more than happy to let them babble about it.

He’s a face for it. And he’s in full support. But ultimately, he just wants to play Volleyball.

Eventually, the talk turns a little bit more casual. Everyone seems to relax, and they begin to drift into outside influences.

“It’s just a shame that my favourite player won’t be a part of it,” Kenma says quietly, dragging his other leg up onto the chair. “Hinata Shoyo, when will you come back to us?”

Kageyama stiffens. Bokuto lets out a laugh, whacking Kenma on the shoulder as he beams at the camera, “I miss that small fry. He’ll be watching for sure! Cheering me on, right?”

“More likely to be rooting for Kageyama,” Iwaizumi comments lightly. “Will tune in for all his matches.”

Oh. Would he? Kageyama tries to picture it. Hinata, wherever he is in Brazil, stopping his busy schedule so he can watch whatever events Kageyama is going to be a part of. Watching his games, texting him his commentary. Calling him afterwards to compliment and insult and give full feedback on his performance until his voice was hoarse from all his talking.

He likes that. Kageyama finds himself smiling.

Until he hears a scoff next to him. Through the camera image reflected in the scene, Kageyama watches as Kenma rolls his eyes and mutters something indecipherable.

Not fond or kind like everyone else. A genuine unhappiness in his actions.

It’s enough that Kageyama isn’t the only one to have a reaction, not the only one to notice. Through the camera, he sees Kuroo cast a glance down at his boyfriend. There’s a prolonged pause, where everyone other than Kenma looks at one another.

And then Kuroo reaches over Kenma’s chair, tapping the keyboard to briefly stop the recording.

“Alright, we’ll cut that last part out. Stop it after Iwaizumi says about Kageyama, and we can move straight into the next bit, which will be me and Bokuto talking about how Volleyball brought together a beautiful friendship despite being rivals on the court.”

Bokuto grins again, always happy to move past awkwardness. If he even ever feels it at all, “Our fairytale bromance.”

Kuroo chuckles, but his gaze wanders back to Kenma. Kenma tilts his head back to look at him.

“Need to take five, babe?”

Kenma’s nose wrinkles at the pet name. Kageyama has witnessed that a lot. Kuroo coming up with bizarre terms of endearment for him and Kenma glaring at him. He never tells him to stop, and Kuroo doesn’t sound particularly serious most of the time. At least babe is tame.

Who would Kageyama call babe….?

He tests the word out in his mouth a few times. That doesn’t seem to help Kenma’s mood. Of course not. It seems like mocking.

“I don’t need five,” Kenma says eventually. “Sorry. We can carry on now.”

Kuroo reaches over, presses a kiss to the top of his head, “Sure?”

Kenma softens. Just minutely, but Kageyama sees it. Barely any words spoken between one another, but the connection there – the way to communicate with looks and touches alone – it’s there. Obvious, trusting. He thinks he and Hinata had the same thing towards the end of high school.

Suddenly, he rather quite misses it.

“Yeah,” Kenma says after a moment, letting out a small sigh, “I’m sure.”

“Alright,” Kuroo moves to press the keyboard again.

The recording starts. Bokuto immediately launches into a story about how he met Kuroo, how he met Kenma. How he still spends time with the love of his life, a man he met because of Volleyball. From the corner of the room, off-screen, Kageyama sees Akaashi go red and hide his laughter behind his hand.

Iwaizumi shifts, gets this look in his eyes like he’s miles away.

Kageyama, strangely, feels like he can relate.

Hinata doesn’t call him the next night. Nor the next. Kageyama waits by the phone between the promotional shoots, waiting for Hinata to message, to ask about his day. But his texts are left on read, and his phone calls go unanswered.

From the next room over, he can hear Kenma’s laughter. A murmured Shoyo thrown in. And Kageyama fights back the urge to walk down the hall and tear Kenma’s phone from his hands, just to see Hinata’s face again.

It’s in the middle of a photo shoot that Kageyama finally gets through to Hinata.

He knows the time in Brazil. 11pm. On a Monday. Hinata has training on Tuesday and Thursday mornings, so he’s usually tucked up in bed by about 9, ready to put his head down and tell Kageyama about his day while passing out.

But when Kageyama manages to finally connect the call, rushing over to the bathroom stalls near the park where Bokuto is currently flexing for the camera, he’s a little confused as to what he’s seeing. Because Hinata isn’t in bed.

He’s dressed up.

He looks… good.

Kageyama swallows. “Hi.”

Hinata fiddles around with his phone for a second, setting it up on what is probably a bedside counter. Then he’s adjusting his outfit in a nearby mirror, barely paying attention to Kageyama at all. There’s a sting of rejection, a hot rush of anger.

And he’s just so… pretty.

“Sorry I’ve not been answering your calls,” Hinata says in greeting. “I’ve been really busy.”

“Not too busy for Kenma.”

Hinata tilts his head to look at him. Only briefly. His expression seems sad. “You know that’s different.”

Kageyama doesn’t know. Again. But he’s not going to let himself seem like more of an idiot.

Another shift, and Hinata is standing up to look at his outfit in full. Kageyama’s chest constricts, and he feels his hands start to grow clammy. He’s wearing fitted trousers and a silky sort of white shirt. It clings in all the right places, sharper than anything he’s ever seen Hinata wearing.

There are no events on. No parties that Hinata’s team have organised. Kageyama knows. He keeps an eye on these things.

“Where are you going?”

Hinata smiles. Not his usual one. “Oikawa invited me out for a drink. We’re going to go dancing.”

“Dancing,” Kageyama repeats. “With him?”

“Problem?”

“Several.”

Because he does, even if he can’t quite articulate why it’s upsetting him so much. But Kageyama knows, right down to his very bones, that this is wrong. That Hinata being alone, drinking with Oikawa, is criminal. Something deeply unsettling. Something he’d put a stop to if he was there.

It makes him want to throw up. It makes him want to spike a volleyball into someone’s face.

Hinata shoots him an unimpressed look. “Why? It’s not your business.”

“You’re my business.”

“No, I’m not,” Hinata snaps back, and the abrupt anger that spills out of him makes Kageyama jolt. “And you made that perfectly clear. Who I go out with is none of your concern, and you don’t get to pick and choose how I get over it, alright?”

Get over what?

What did he make perfectly clear?

Kageyama blinks slowly, trying to wrap his head around it all. He’s trying to think back to their last proper conversation, going over the words that he said to make Hinata think that he suddenly wasn’t interested in what he was doing. Who he was spending time with. What he’d said to make Hinata no longer consider Kageyama to be the most important person in his life.

His thoughts come to an abrupt halt when he sees the door open behind Hinata, and a happy sound fills the speaker of his phone.

Oikawa looks different, Kageyama realises as he processes what he’s seeing. He’s standing straighter, he looks a little brighter. And he walks into Hinata’s room with an ease that suggests he’s been there a few times before. He’s dressed up similarly to his friend, and he smiles as he wraps an arm around Hinata’s shoulder.

A genuine smile. Like he’s happy to be with him. Kageyama’s fist curls at his side.

Hinata gestures to Oikawa, and he looks over, meeting Kageyama’s gaze through the phone. His expression shutters slightly.

“Tobio-chan,” he greets with that annoying lilt in his voice, moving away from Hinata to drop in front of the camera, “You look miserable as usual. And sweaty. Why are you sweaty?”

Kageyama doesn’t want to respond. But he also wants Hinata to hear about his day.

“I’m doing a photo shoot outside, and it’s humid. I’m with Iwaizumi, if you want to say hi.”

Immediately, Kageyama knows it’s the wrong thing to have said. Hinata’s head whips round from where he’s been staring into a mirror, and Oikawa’s entire peaceful persona is shut down in a moment. The phone is lifted and before Kageyama can say anything, ask anything, Oikawa hangs up.

When he tries to call back, it’s immediately declined. And it’s all Kageyama can do to not let bitterness overtake him and throw the phone against the wall.

Oikawa is important all of a sudden. Hinata is ignoring him for Oikawa. This can’t be real. This is all a terrible dream, and Kageyama is going to wake up. He’s going to get a call from Hinata in a couple of minutes, and he’ll explain exactly what’s gone wrong between them, and Kageyama will fix it. Whatever it is.

But the call doesn’t come. And soon Bokuto bangs on the bathroom stall looking for him.

Kageyama doesn’t hear from Hinata for the rest of the day, but he checks his phone – and social media – compulsively anyway.

It’s a slow day. Or, at least, it feels like that for Kageyama.

Most of the promotional work is done, and there’s just a lot of paperwork to sign. Various disclosures, agreements on how they’ll be a part of this promotional event. Also things to protect them, the promise that their image – videos, pictures, whatever Kuroo had them do – wouldn’t be used for ‘nefarious reasons’. Other than gentle mocking, he doesn’t think Kuroo has a nefarious bone in him.

Kenma, on the other hand….

They still have a few more things to do, but everyone seems a little tired. The six of them have made themselves at home in the main living space, sprawled on the floor with reruns of various Volleyball games playing in the background. Bokuto will occasionally speak up with his own commentary, Kuroo will fight him on it, and they’ll both get into a small wrestling match, which Akaashi has to break up.

Iwaizumi seems to be caught between reading paperwork and sleeping, occasionally slumping into Kageyama’s shoulder. Kenma isn’t even pretending to stay awake, curled up on a ball on the floor and snapping at any of them when they get too loud.

And Kageyama is watching them all, missing Hinata desperately. Wondering how he would fit into this scene, what dynamic the two of them could add to this entire thing if they were together. Would they be play-fighting like Kuroo and Bokuto? Would they be watching with grins like Akaashi? Or would they be lounging and sleepy like the other two?

Would they curl up together to sleep? They have before… when practice had run on for so long that they couldn’t feel their legs, and collapsing into each other was the only thing that kept them stable.

He wants that back one day. If Hinata would only tell him how to make him happy again.

A phone startles the mild serenity, a shrill tone amongst all the soft noise. It’s Kenma’s, playing some gaming tune that Kageyama has learned over his time here is a designated ringtone for Hinata. Everyone else he has on silent. Even Kuroo, much to his never-ending displeasure.

Kageyama has to actively fight back the urge to snatch the phone away before anyone else can reach it. His hands curl on his legs, and he waits, watching as Kenma reaches blindly, tapping the phone on speaker because he’s too lazy to bring it closer to where he’s lounging.

“Shoyo,” Kenma says softly. “I’m with-”

Kenma doesn’t get a chance to finish his sentence. Doesn’t get a chance to say anything at all, because there are several frantic noises on the other end. Some loud babbling, one scream. Most of it is completely indecipherable, utterly up for interpretation in what it means.

But everyone in the room picks up on one sentence.

“-And then I slept with Oikawa!"

Silence. Next to him, through his own stiff posture, Kageyama feels Iwaizumi flinch.

“I’m, um. I’m going to take you off speaker phone now.”

Kenma doesn’t fumble or rush to get the phone, doesn’t race from the room. There’s no point in hiding what’s been said, and while the anxiety is written all over Kenma’s face, he knows when the damage has already been done. No one says a word as Kenma escapes to his gaming room, other than Kuroo, who quietly excuses himself and makes a quick getaway.

No doubt, in an attempt to soothe his boyfriend from the awkwardness he probably feels.

Kageyama barely notices. His brain is nothing but static, his stomach twisted in knots. Hinata’s declaration repeats in his head, over and over again until the words feel like they’re being yelled in his ears. He feels like bringing up his dinner, feels his hands curl into fists.

And he feels like screaming.

It’s Akaashi who speaks first. Not to him, but to Iwaizumi.

“Hajime… are you-”

He’s reaching out a hand. But Iwaizumi moves before he can reach him, almost flinging himself backwards in an attempt to stand up. Kageyama watches him, numb. His face is redder, his eyebrows are furrowed more than usual. He looks furious.

But his eyes. They’re watery.

“I’m fine,” Iwaizumi says, in a voice that suggests he’s very much not fine. “He can do whatever the fuck he wants. I don’t own him.”

Bokuto frowns, “But I thought you and Oikawa were-”

“We weren’t,” Iwaizumi snaps. Deflates immediately. “I’m going for a walk.”

Kageyama watches him scramble, sees the way he makes a hasty retreat out of the house and sees the way his arms tense in an active effort not to slam the door shut. He almost wishes Iwaizumi did, just so he could bask in the feeling of fury that’s casually laying into his gut. This nausea, this- this horrifying coldness that’s settling across his skin at the idea of Hinata and Oikawa.

His ex-mentor.

And his…

His best friend? Is that what Hinata is? It doesn’t feel like enough. Doesn’t feel like the right word. Not inadequate- just wrong. Like the definition got lost somewhere along the line. Because Kageyama doesn’t think he should feel this unmoored by just a friend.

But he’s never had anyone like Hinata before.

The room is too quiet. Akaashi and Bokuto are staring at him, then looking at each other. They look sympathetic, he thinks. Or it’s pity. And it’s directed at him, like they can tell that there’s something wrong bubbling beneath the surface somewhere. They don’t reach out to him as they did with Iwaizumi, they’re not close like that. But it looks like they want to.

And Kageyama isn’t sure why he even needs comforting. Not when Iwaizumi, for whatever reason, is the one who walked out.

… No. Even Kageyama can put the pieces together as to why.

I thought you and Oikawa were-

He stands, nodding shortly to the other two before he follows Iwaizumi out of the front door. He’s not gone far, and Kageyama can see him sitting on the curb at the end of the driveway. His head is lowered, resting between his knees, and his shoulders are slumped over. Kageyama can’t remember the last time he’s seen Iwaizumi not put on a brave face. Then again, he supposes he has no one to do that for right now.

Kageyama drops down on the curb next to him, stretching out and staring up at the sky. It’s a beautiful hue of orange now, the sun setting. He wonders what the sky looks like where Hinata is.

Iwaizumi is the first to break the silence.

“We’re pathetic. Sitting out here, sulking about men halfway across the world.”

Kageyama doesn’t think he’s sulking. Not yet, at least. He’s just… uneasy.

“Do you like him?” Kageyama asks, “Oikawa, I mean.”

Iwaizumi lets out a bitter chuckle. “I love the shitty bastard. But I told him a relationship wouldn’t work with the distance. He took that incredibly personally.”

Distance? Coming between Oikawa and Iwaizumi? The two most stubborn people he’s ever met. Besides maybe Hinata. Not himself, of course. No matter what his teammates tell him.

“Why wouldn’t it? Me and Hinata are friends. Were friends. Despite the distance. We spoke every night until…”

“Until you fell out?” Iwaizumi guesses, “Until you said something you shouldn’t? And now you have no way of contacting him because he won’t pick up the phone?”

Oh. Right.

Kageyama frowns at the sky. If Hinata was here, in Japan, back home and at Kageyama’s side like he should be, they probably would have found a court by now. Played it out. Gotten out the aggression through the sport and then maybe spoken when they were half-dead from exhaustion.

He’s so far away. And it aches.

Iwaizumi hums, as though he’s thinking of the same thing. “You know, if Oikawa were here, I’d go to his house. I’d probably strangle him. I’d ask how he could even-”

He inhales sharply and Kageyama glances at him. He doesn’t look upset anymore. Just frustrated. Although at who, Kageyama isn’t sure.

“I would say, Did you think I didn’t want you? Did you think this was easy for me? I’d scream it until he understood. Then I’d probably kiss him because sometimes the idiot needs someone to be direct with him,” Iwaizumi says, and he laughs again. Kageyama doesn’t think he’s ever seen him quite so… not put together. So emotional, even if it’s still hidden somehow. “But I can’t. And that’s why distance won’t work.”

Kageyama tries to process those words. Tries to somehow match the version he has of his two previous teammates in his head to what Iwaizumi is describing.

Then his mind wanders. What would he do if Hinata was here? He wouldn’t strangle him, wouldn’t scream. He doesn’t know what he’d say, except to maybe ask what he said wrong. He’d probably ask why their phone calls make him feel like he can breathe properly, question whether or not Hinata also waits to for his call just so he’s the last voice he hears before he ends the day.

Is he struggling with this disconnect as much as Kageyama is? Can he please, please, make it stop?

“What do you mean friends?”

Iwaizumi’s question interrupts his thoughts. He blinks at him.

“What?”

“What do you mean you and Hinata were friends? Weren’t you dating?”

Kageyama’s mind blanks. “I- no?”

Iwaizumi frowns, “Why not?”

“He’s not- We’re not-”

It’s still all static, just from a simple question. Dating? Him and Hinata? No, how could that ever be the impression? Of course, they were close. And sure, he’s never really bothered with anything romantic with anyone else. Why would he? He’s perfectly fulfilled in his life. A partner would complicate it. How could he explain having to call someone across the world just to put a smile on his face?

But more than that…?

“I never thought about it,” Kageyama says. “I doubt he has either.”

Iwaizumi stares at him for a long moment. And Kageyama gets the distinct impression that he’s being judged. “Distance definitely doesn’t work when one of the people is an oblivious moron.”

He doesn’t get to ask. Not when Iwaizumi is already pushing himself to his feet and stretching himself out. He stares back at the house, then towards the street. With a decisive nod, he holds his hand out to Kageyama and helps him up.

“Want a drink?” he asks.

A drink. Like Hinata and Oikawa did before they--. Oh.

He takes a step back.

“I don’t want to sleep with you.”

“What.” Iwaizumi is still looking at him like he’s an idiot. Then his expression clears, like he’s understood Kageyama’s line of thinking. “No. No, I’m not asking that. I’m not a rebound kind of guy, and I don’t think you are either. I just want to get drunk.”

Kageyama doesn’t like getting drunk, doesn’t like not feeling in control.

Then again, he doesn’t feel that in control anymore anyway. Not with this. Not with any of it.

At least he can spend time with someone who understands. At least a little bit. Even if it’s not in the same way.

“Kuro.”

“No, we’re doing this. Look at them. These are broken men, Kenma!”

“I told Shoyo-”

“He’s miserable, too. Do you really think this is better?”

Kageyama doesn’t want to open his eyes. Everything hurts, every limb and every muscle. His head is pounding, and his stomach has been revolting against him since he woke up draped over the sofa that morning. He doesn’t know how much he drank, or how he really managed to get home alive. Iwaizumi is somewhere nearby, he thinks. He’d been by his side the entire night, and he’s certain he’s the one who helped him get his shoes off.

There’s a warmth nearby. Like someone’s resting against him. It might be Iwaizumi, but he heard Akaashi and Bokuto earlier, and he thinks Akaashi tried to get him to drink some water before offering a bucket. He can’t remember. He sort of wants to slip into sleep and not wake up until it feels like he’s no longer on a boat.

Stupid idea to get drunk. He doesn’t even know if they had fun. They drank and danced bitterly, and Iwaizumi yelled a lot. He has a lot of emotions. Kageyama doesn’t know how he deals with it.

Kenma and Kuroo’s voices get closer, still bickering about… them, Kageyama thinks. He doesn’t want to look at them, doesn’t want to know if they’re looking all judgemental at the fact that he and Iwaizumi tumbled into their house completely gone on cheap booze. Knowing Kuroo, he’ll probably find it funny. He can only hope he wasn’t sick on the floor somewhere.

“I want it put on the record that I think this was a waste of my money,” Kenma says. Oh, and he’s very close. Near the sofa, Kageyama thinks.

Kuroo laughs softly, “You say that about all of my ideas.”

“Can you two stop flirting in front of us when we’re hungover?” Iwaizumi grunts. And oh, he is the warmth at Kageyama’s side. When he moves, Kageyama somehow moves with him. He must let out some sort of noise of protest because Iwaizumi grumbles, “Sorry. But you’re heavy.”

He’s being moved. Oh, he wasn’t lying down before. He is now, though. Something a lot comfier is beneath his head, and he can pull his legs up. Kageyama isn’t sure if this is better or worse, but he doesn’t feel quite unsettled now. His hand curls in the comforter, keeping him grounded.

There’s a gentle hand placed on his head, too warm.

“Clammy,” that’s Akaashi. “Does anyone know if he’s ever actually been drunk before? Iwaizumi-”

“He’s fine,” and that’s Kenma. Even closer now, somehow. “Don’t baby him, it’s his own mess. It seems you’re right, Kuro. The direct approach is the only way to play this.”

Kenma is so mean to him. Him, personally. Kageyama is certain of it. They’ve never been close, but there’s a certain level of antagonism now that he doesn’t think he deserves.

Akaashi’s hand moves, and in its absence, someone flicks him on the forehead. Flicks him again. And again, until Kageyama relents and opens his eyes, immediately wincing at the sun streaming through the windows. He wants to snap them shut, wants to roll over and pass back out.

But Kenma is crouching in front of him. And despite Kageyama’s knowledge that Kenma despises him somehow, Kenma seems to be… more amused than anything else.

“Morning,” Kenma says, “Hinata is in love with you.”

The words don’t process properly. His brain is still a mess, scrambling to pick up any information. He’s in Kuroo and Kenma’s house. Akaashi and Bokuto are getting settled on the floor. Kuroo is hovering behind Kenma, smiling far too brightly when Kageyama feels like this. Iwaizumi just scoffed somewhere nearby.

He’s on a sofa. It’s sort of warm. He feels like his body is on fire.

Hinata is in love with him.

Hinata is in love with him?

Kageyama sits bolt upright, regrets it instantly when it seems his head gets left behind somewhere. Kuroo is quick to move, settling a hand on his back and bringing a bucket to Kageyama’s lap. He clings to it, letting his body realign with where he is.

Eventually, he manages to look back at Kenma. Searches for the joke, the punchline. Kenma just watches him.

“What. What do you mean?”

It’s Bokuto who laughs, and Kageyama’s eyes go to him. He watches as he looks at the rest of the group, grinning. “Wait, did he not know? I thought we all knew!”

There’s a murmur of agreement, a general consensus that everyone did know. Knew that Hinata was in love with him. Is in love with him? All except Kageyama.

No. No, that can’t be. Because what would that mean? How would he even have been able to tell that?!

Sure, things had always been weird with him. Even back in school, he’d search for him first when coming onto the court. With every achievement, he’d turn to Hinata and cheer with him. And yes, okay, his stomach went warm when Hinata proved everyone wrong, too. He’s proud of his friend in a way that he’s never been proud of anyone.

And, okay. Sure. Maybe he needs the sound of his voice to be happy.

And, yeah. Hearing that he was going to Brazil and watching him leave made him feel like his entire body was being ripped in half….

Oh.

Oh, right.

Kageyama focuses on Kenma. “I love him too, don’t I?”

Kenma rolls his eyes.

“Did he not know that?” Bokuto repeats, almost hysterically, “I thought we all knew that!”

Akaashi pats his shoulder. “Yes. But he’s an idiot.”

“Why did he sleep with Oikawa?” Kageyama demands, “If he’s in love with me?”

“Because he confessed to you and you shut him down, so he tried to rebound,” Kenma says. “God knows why he thought Oikawa would be a good choice.”

Iwaizumi grunts, “Oi.”

Kenma amends his statement, “God knows why he thought Oikawa would be a good choice when that moron is clearly still fawning over the other idiot currently staying in my house.”

Kageyama looks over. Iwaizumi has the decency to look sheepish. At least Kageyama isn’t alone when it comes to appalling love life choices. But, to more pressing matters-

“When did I shut him down? Why would I ever shut Hinata down? If he asked me out, I would have figured it out.”

Iwaizumi mutters Doubtful, and Kageyama does him the grace of not acknowledging him.

Kuroo runs his hand down his back again, a reminder he’s still there. A steady comfort. “I mean this with all the love in the world, but you are so oblivious to conversation cues. I’m going to need you to think really hard about that phone call you had when you first got here.”

Yes. That phone call that made Hinata weird with him.

He’s run through the conversation several times, but never through this type of lens. Never with the idea that maybe Hinata was in love with him. What did he say? When could he have-

I sorta wish we were together all the time. Like we… used to be. But… more? Us. Together?

What else is there with us?

God, he is an idiot.

“Oh,” Kageyama says dully, “He… wanted to spend time with me romantically.”

Kenma snorts, pushing himself up onto his feet and immediately pulling out his phone. “Frankly, this pining is disgusting, and I’ve heard more about you than I ever wanted to from Hinata in the last few days. And Kuro thinks that the only way for it to stop is to… fix it. So-”

“You two are going on holiday,” Kuroo declares cheerfully behind him.

Kageyama tilts his head back. Kuroo looks incredibly proud of himself as he looks between Iwaizumi and Kageyama like he’s come up with an incredible plan. The idea that he and Kenma were talking about when they first came in, no doubt.

Iwaizumi eyes Kuroo doubtfully. “We’re what?”

“We got you tickets to go to Brazil,” Kuroo says, “Tonight. First class, of course, because my Kodzuken is good to his friends.”

Oh. Kageyama turns to look at Kenma. His head is lowered, and he’s tapping on his screen furiously, but he can see the slight flush of pink on his cheeks. Kuroo steps out from behind him to go and fling his arm around Kenma’s shoulder instead, and the tension slips away. Ever so slightly.

Kenma grumbles, quiet enough that Kageyama has to strain to hear him, “It’s a long trip. There’s a layover in Dubai, too. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

Bokuto, who has been suspiciously quiet, snorts out a laugh, “Aw.”

“Shut up,” Kenma snaps at him. “I will kick you out.”

Kageyama doesn’t think he will. Actually, he thinks he’s misunderstood… almost everything for the last week in general. Kuroo said, friends. They were friends.

He’ll revisit that. There’s something far more important at stake. He moves the bucket to the side, moving his legs over and facing Kuroo and Kenma completely, even as his body protests the movements. “I get to see Shoyo? Soon?”

Kuroo’s smug grin softens. “Yeah.”

“And you’re gonna tell him how you feel, and you’re gonna get together, and we can go on… triple dates,” Bokuto speaks up, pumping his fist.

Kageyama doesn’t like that idea, but he doesn’t say that.

Iwaizumi finally moves from next to him. Kageyama looks at him properly for the first time since last night. He looks worse than Kageyama feels, maybe a bit angry too. He’s got that glare on, but it seems more exhausted than anything else. “And why do I have to go? Oikawa and I have nothing left to talk about.”

Kuroo barks out a laugh. That really grating one that everyone winces at, apart from Bokuto and Kenma.

Actually, his laugh sets off Bokuto too. They look at each other, like they’re both in on the same joke.

“You know, years ago,” Kuroo starts, “Back when we were all still in school competing in matches leading up to nationals, we made a group chat. Mostly Captains. We just never really stopped talking in it. It’s usually used to arrange meetups, to congratulate each other on various achievements.”

A pause.

“And, for the last six months, it’s been Oikawa Tooru’s diary.”

Bokuto adds on happily, “He’s very passionate.”

Iwaizumi groans, leaning forward and resting his head in his hands. Kageyama frowns, thinking about the last couple of days. Hesitantly, he reaches out and pats his back in support, just as the others had been giving him. Iwaizumi doesn’t shrug him off, so he must be doing something right.

“Alright,” Iwaizumi says, “How much do you know?”

Kuroo beams, “Oh, everything!”

“In detail!” Bokuto says.

“And he’s been insufferably bitchy since you tried going no contact. Please fix it. For the sake of the group chat, if nothing else.”

For the first time since the revelations, Akaashi speaks. And it’s with a tone of such bone-dead exhaustion that Kageyama has a feeling he’s had to hear this type of discussion several times over.

“Also because you love him,” Akaashi says. He looks at both Kageyama and Iwaizumi, like it’s a message for them both. “I really don’t understand why you have struggled this much. The drama can’t be good for you, and the solution is simple if you just stop hurting yourself for no reason.”

Bokuto turns his smile to him and starts singing his praises about how smart and mature Akaashi is. Kageyama tunes it out. It’s easier now.

But Akaashi is right. The solution is easy. And Kenma has already provided him with the ticket.

Kageyama turns to Iwaizumi, “I’m going. And you’re going too. You need to get Oikawa away from Hinata. It’s the worst.”

“Yeah,” Iwaizumi agrees hesitantly, “It is.”

There’s a long moment when Kageyama is worried that Iwaizumi will say no. That he’ll stay stubborn, go home after all this promotional work is done, and never fix what’s happening with him. Kageyama will go alone, and Oikawa will make it more difficult for him, but he can manage. He’ll be fine.

Iwaizumi deserves to be fine too.

And, eventually, almost defeated, he nods.

Kenma hums, appeased, “Alright. I’ll send you the tickets. You two better pack.”

Kageyama decides he doesn’t like planes, and he doesn’t like layovers. The only thing that kept his head above water was the thought of this moment right here. 32 hours later, and he’s standing in front of Hinata’s apartment complex. In front of his door, address given thanks to Kenma, who – according to Kuroo, at least – still thinks this is a mild violation of privacy.

It’ll work out in the end. It has to.

Iwaizumi steps up beside him, tilts his head, “I imagined Hinata living somewhere bigger.”

Kageyama says nothing. But he grips Iwaizumi’s wrist when he lifts his hand, ready to knock on the door.

“What’s wrong? Is this not his door?”

He shakes his head. “It. It is. I- Should we wait? I feel sick.”

Iwaizumi lowers his hand. “Yeah. That’ll be the nerves. Love can fuck you up like that.”

Kageyama drops his wrist. Looks back down the hall, towards the exit. This is ridiculous. He’s been ready for this conversation, knows it needs to happen. He’s ready to confess his feelings, to explain how he truly feels about the situation. He wants to resolve things, to have his phone calls back, to have Hinata back.

But what if Hinata has moved on? What if he thinks Kageyama isn’t worth it? What if-

“Hey.”

Iwaizumi’s voice cuts through the panic. Kageyama focuses on him with wide eyes.

“You’re okay. It’ll be okay. I promise.”

Kageyama doesn’t know if he can promise that. But Iwaizumi looks so sincere, it’s hard to question it.

“My stomach feels weird,” he says instead.

Iwaizumi smiles. “That’s also nerves.”

“And I feel warm.”

“Still nerves.”

“I’m overwhelmed.”

“Yeah, all the same. And that’s fine. But that won’t go away even if we leave now. You don’t wanna be in a state of limbo, do you?”

No. Kageyama can’t go on like this. It hasn’t even been two weeks, but this distance between him and Hinata is driving him insane, right to the brink. He has to look at him again, face to face. He has to-

He wants to… to touch him. To hold his hand and-

Well. He doesn’t actually know. But God, does Kageyama wanna find out.

He must make some sort of brave expression because Iwaizumi nods, looking proud. “Good. Hopefully Hinata can tell me where Shittykawa is staying, and I can get out of your hair. Then we can put this behind us and never talk about it again, agreed?”

“Definitely.”

It’s Kageyama who knocks this time. Quickly. Aggressively. Before he loses his nerve.

There are a few moments when nothing happens.

Then he hears footsteps. And when the door opens, Kageyama’s breath catches in his throat.

It’s been too long since he’s seen Hinata in person, and the phone calls truly don’t do him justice. He stares up at him with wide, bright eyes, lips opening and closing like he can’t quite believe what he’s seeing. He’s dressed for this weather, a thin, white t-shirt and shorts, and he’s shining with sweat from the sheer heat of everything. His hair is a mess of orange, and he looks like he hasn’t slept properly in days.

And he’s the most beautiful thing that Kageyama has ever seen.

He hadn’t realised how much he truly missed him until right this second. How could he have taken so long to realise how much he loved him?

“Hinata, who- Oh.”

Kageyama glances past him towards the new voice. Oikawa is standing at the end of the hall, looking startled.

But he’s not focusing on Kageyama. And it only takes a second to realise why.

Iwaizumi pushes past them both, storming down the hallway. Oikawa’s eyes keep widening, and it’d be funny if Kageyama wasn’t genuinely concerned. When he reaches him, Iwaizumi’s hands wind in Oikawa’s shirt, pulling him up, pulling him close.

And he looks furious. He looks hurt. He looks a lot of things. Oikawa is staring at him as if nothing else matters.

For a moment, Kageyama thinks he might go through with what he said. Might strangle him. But his hands slowly unclench, Oikawa’s hands lift to hold at Iwaizumi’s wrists.

“You,” Iwaizumi gets out, “Are an idiot.”

And then, they’re kissing. Kissing like it’s familiar, like they’ve done it a thousand times before. Too much feeling, too much-

Kageyama looks away, feels like he’s intruding. Focuses on Hinata instead. Hinata takes a little longer to look away, and when he does his cheeks red are and expression is scrunched. But he doesn’t look upset. Doesn’t look jealous or put out. Other than the fact that the two of them are making out only feet away, the display doesn’t seem to bother Hinata in any way.

That’s a good sign. A great sign.

“Can you two-” Hinata says, sounding a little strangled.

There’s shuffling. And when Kageyama looks back, they’ve pulled away from each other. Only slightly, but at least they’re not kissing. They don’t look at them, though. So focused, so zoned in.

“Oh,” Oikawa says.

Iwaizumi snorts, “Yeah, oh. Where are you staying?”

Oikawa gestures vaguely over his shoulder, like he’s not quite thinking. “Uh. Somewhere. Over there.”

“Think you can remember an address if I get us a cab?”

There’s a long pause. The look of bewilderment slowly leaves Oikawa’s features and is replaced by something smug. Something infuriating. The type of arrogant look that Kageyama is so used to that he almost wants to throw something at him. A sentiment shared, because Iwaizumi immediately groans.

“Are we going to the hotel?” Oikawa sounds delighted. “Wow, so forward. Iwa-chan, do you love me or something?”

Iwaizumi rolls his eyes. “No. I travelled across the world because I can’t stand you.”

“Aw! You’re romantic!” Oikawa looks at them for the first time, grabbing Iwaizumi’s hand and holding it above his head. Like he’s a prize. “Are you seeing this, Shoyo? He travelled! He does think distance can work!”

Having heard enough – understandable, he’s grating – Iwaizumi starts to tug him away. Back down the hallway, back past where Kageyama and Hinata haven’t moved from the doorway. Oikawa is cackling the entire time, babbling away about how loved he is and how he knew Iwaizumi couldn’t stay away forever.

Oikawa winks at Hinata as they pass.

Iwaizumi gives Kageyama a pointed look as well.

Neither of them move until they can no longer hear Oikawa’s goading and Iwaizumi’s threats, all the way back down the hallway and out of the apartment complex.

And just like that, the buffer is gone.

Kageyama’s hands are sweaty.

It’s quiet between them. He’s not really sure where to look, but when Hinata starts walking back down the hall and into his apartment, Kageyama thinks it’s a sign to follow. It’s small, just like Iwaizumi said, but it immediately feels so… warm. Almost like Kageyama has stepped into a home away from home.

Because everything around him is so true to Hinata Shoyo.

There are clothes everywhere, and YouTube videos of Volleyball games are playing on mute on a laptop on the table. Too many empty bottles of water are on the floor, magazines to do with sports thrown around. There are dishes piled up in the kitchen, body spray everywhere he looks that Kageyama thinks will be empty.

It’s a mess. It’s so him. It makes Kageyama want to bundle on the sofa there and make himself a part of the space, too.

Hinata stops in front of him, tugging at his wristband. He looks uncertain. Just like Kageyama feels.

“Why did you sleep with Oikawa?”

No. That shouldn’t be the first thing he says. Hinata’s face twists in annoyance.

“Really? You came all the way here to ask me that?”

Kageyama thinks of backtracking. But it’s still one of the questions he has, still a discussion to get out of the way. Probably one of the most uncomfortable ones, all things considered. So, he doesn’t back down. He ignores the stab of jealousy and just waits.

Watches as Hinata huffs in disbelief. Watches as he starts a sentence, then stops.

His hands find their way into his hair, tugging lightly at the strands, and Kageyama fights to not replace them with his own.

“It. We. I didn’t-”

Kageyama waits. And waits.

And then Hinata blurts it out.

“It was really bad! Not that I know lots about it, but. Kageyama, it was so- We were both crying! And, and he’s so rude! He even stopped halfway through to moan that my hands were so much smaller than Iwa-chan’s!” Hinata imitates his voice perfectly, and Kageyama’s lip twitches. “Do you know how embarrassing that is?”

No. He doesn’t. He doesn’t want to.

Kageyama admits, “I’m happy it was awful.”

Hinata scowls, “That’s mean. But…” He stares off. Looks back towards the door with a wistful sort of expression. “I’m glad it worked out for Tooru.”

“Tooru.”

His eyes whip back to him, and the annoyance is back in full force. All directed towards Kageyama. All those days of hostility and misunderstanding sitting between them. “What? I can’t use his first name, either? Why do you care?”

Hinata is red again. His shoulders are all hunched, and he’s defensive. He looks so similar to how they did when they were kids, fighting about who was better, fighting about who was going to lead the team to victory. But now, Kageyama can see something else.

Hurt.

Vulnerability.

Oh. It’s love, too.

“I want a do-over,” Kageyama says.

“What?”

“I didn’t get it. But I do now. The phone call. The one that messed you up. I want a do-over.”

He takes a step closer. His heart hammers when Hinata doesn’t step away, just tilts his head back further to keep eye contact. Hinata is prettier up close, the sun of Brazil bringing out the freckles across his cheekbones and his nose. Kageyama sort of wants to map them out.

So, he does. Trembling fingers reach up, a barely there touch across Hinata’s skin.

Hinata looks confused, but he leans into the touch with furrowed brows.

“Say it again,” Kageyama asks quietly. Pleads, almost. “What you were admitting. Tell me again.”

“I can’t remember exactly what I said. It’s not a nice memory, y’know?”

“Try.”

Hinata looks over Kageyama’s face. And he tries to be open with it, to show how he really feels. He’s never had to focus so much on his expression before, never had to really be anything other than apathetic or indifferent. Hinata has always been able to understand him. But now – now he needs to show everything, too.

Slowly, Hinata reaches up. Puts his hand on Kageyama’s cheek and mimics his actions. Kageyama fights not to close his eyes against the soft touch.

“I wish we could have more than phone calls,” Hinata murmurs quietly. “I wish we were together all the time, like we used to be. But I want it to be more.”

And this time. This time, Kageyama does it right.

“I want to be more with you, too.”

Then adds, just to make sure Hinata truly gets it.

“So, we’re boyfriends now, okay?”

Hinata blinks at him. Then his entire face crumples into amusement, and he’s laughing. Not harshly, not enough to interrupt this softness between them. But it’s bright, and Kageyama finds himself laughing with him, his free hand reaching to hold Hinata softly at the waist. Hinata leans into him.

And he grins, “You can’t just announce it. You gotta ask.”

“Okay. Will you be my boyfriend?”

“No way. I wanted to be the one to ask.”

“Well, I asked first. So, I’m the better boyfriend straight away.”

“You didn’t ask. You’re not the better boyfriend!”

“You can be second best.”

Hinata’s face scrunches up. It’s so lovely.

“What? That’s not fair. I could totally be the best boyfriend! I could-”

Kageyama doesn’t let him argue. They could fight and be competitive over everything, even this. They could be red in the face before either of them gives way to the other. But that’s not what Kageyama wants, not right now. Not when he’s been desperate for just a moment of Hinata’s time for weeks.

Months.

Since the day he met him, if he’s completely honest with himself.

He leans down, kisses him soundly just to shut him up. And smiles against his lips when Hinata slumps against him, all warmth and gentleness and his.

Kageyama spends the week there. Kenma bought one-way tickets, with the promise to bring both of them back whenever they wanted.

For the first day, he and Hinata just enjoyed each other's company. Speaking on the phone every day pales in comparison to seeing each other in person. And now, with the new title of boyfriends, he can touch him freely. Hinata is far easier with his affection than Kageyama is and has taken this new relationship status to be almost clingy. He’ll grab Kageyama’s hands at random when he’s excited, lean against him quite happily if they’re watching something together.

They spend the first night just kissing. Kageyama isn’t very good at it; he doesn’t have a great amount of experience. But Hinata lets him explore, lets him learn. Laughs when Kageyama promises he’ll be better in bed than Oikawa could ever be, although the bar is apparently reasonably low all things considered. There’s no rush, though. And Kageyama is content to take whatever Hinata will give him.

It’s easy to adapt to life in Rio during the time that he’s there. The weather isn’t quite for him, but he gets to watch Hinata on the beach. He’s filled out slightly during his stint here; he definitely can’t be considered scrawny anymore. Kageyama likes looking at him, drooling, according to Hinata’s teammate. He likes watching him play, appreciates the dedication his boyfriend has always put into it. Beach volleyball suits him, even though he knows that Hinata will always belong on an indoor court.

Hinata takes him to all his favourite places. Restaurants, places to sightsee, places to spend a lot of money. They even go dancing, just like he had done with Oikawa. They see the man in question while they’re there, draped over Iwaizumi and looking more at ease than Kageyama thought he was capable of. He still dragged Hinata away from him when they came over to speak, throwing him rude hand gestures, and Oikawa laughed after them.

It’s a wonderful time. He and Hinata fit back into each other's lives perfectly. So much so that, when Kenma asks if Hinata can come back just for a few days because he wants to see him too, they decide to make an entire holiday of it.

Apparently, to Iwaizumi, a plane journey can make or break a couple. Kageyama spends the first flight curled up at Hinata’s side as they watch videos together on his phone through shared headphones. Then Hinata sleeps throughout the entirety of the second flight, head on Kageyama’s lap and snoring so loudly that it should be annoying. It’s not. He’d rather hear his snoring than go to sleep without him.

It’ll hurt when they’re apart again. But Kageyama knows it’s not forever. Hinata promised that, and Kageyama believes him.

Kenma and Kuroo meet them from the airport, and Kageyama tampers down his jealousy at the weird friendship Hinata and Kenma share. Kenma smiles at him too, now. He thinks they definitely are friends, even if he’s a little mean. Kuroo drapes his arm over Kageyama’s shoulder and talks to him about triple dates, just like Bokuto suggested, and the idea isn’t completely repellent to him. Not really.

It’s the first time Hinata has seen Kenma and Kuroo’s new home, and Kuroo does the same thing he did with Kageyama and gives him the grand tour. Every room, every explanation. When he got here the first time, Kageyama wondered how Hinata could fit in here. How they could be with one another, how they could exist in this space just being near each other. He wondered if Hinata’s opinion would be the same as his. If they’d be the same, as they always are.

He knows now. Hinata keeps hold of his hand. He doesn’t seem to care about the tour. But Kuroo finishes showing them around, ending in the guest room that had started this entire saga, and holds out his arms like he’s waiting for applause.

Hinata stares at Kuroo, face contorted as he searches his brain for the right compliment. Eventually, he settles on declaring something simple.

“It’s a nice house!”

Kuroo groans.

Kageyama smiles. “I said exactly the same thing.”