Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Alone again. 

The Dark Fountain had been closed, she could feel the life slipping away from this dark world. And so, Ralsei set off back to Castle Town, the stained glass windows of the sanctuary and its awful prophecies fading behind her. 

It was never easy returning home without Susie or Kris behind her. Something about their presence, being near them, filled her with…something. Something hard to define. Her body weary and heavy from escaping the Titan, her mind numb from the events that followed after, the return was especially difficult. 

Susie… she thought, dragging her feet up to the castle gates. She knows now. All that worrying, all the knowledge I had, and I still couldn't…

The town’s other Darkners gave her a wide berth. The main streets were eerily empty and calm; usually returning after sealing a fountain meant a new crop of Darkners moving in. Instead, conversations seemed to die down to murmurs as Ralsei made her way back to the castle. The residents, usually so bright and friendly, avoided her gaze and quickly busied themselves with whatever they had immediately on hand. Some ducked into buildings or alleys, avoiding the princess entirely. The princess felt like a diseased pariah, all who would come into her path cursed and forsaken. She was glad for the space. 

Maybe they felt the Titan emerging, too. She'd come and give her hollow reassurances in due time. This would normally have struck her as odd, but for the moment, she was happy to be alone. Ralsei was almost thankful she didn't run into Lancer or anyone who knew her well; at this moment, she couldn't handle pretending to smile, for even a second. The weight of her role, of herself, was massive.

The halls of her castle echoed each solemn footstep. Flames in sconces threw dancing shadows across the corridor as Ralsei made her way to her room. The funky beats emanating from Queen and Tenna’s room pounded against her aching head as she passed. Didn't they know? How could they not see how doomed they all were? 

She stopped steps before her bedroom doorway. The caution tape Susie had barrelled through from earlier today still lay strewn about on the floor. Had all that really just been earlier today? Ralsei felt those same emotions well up, still raw. Unprocessed. Icy waves of guilt and shame and fear that wracked her body, yet her mind was blank. It was like she was observing another person experiencing her emotions, some small corner of her mind protecting itself from cracking further. She was nothing but an icy rock for wave after wave of emotion to pound against, each one slowly sanding her down into something unrecognizable. With a sigh, she pushed past the door, letting the heavy green metal slam shut behind her. Each motion felt unbearably heavy. 

Alone. At last, alone. 

The ever-present night chill breezed softly through her fur. The gentle creak of the black floorboards under her feet were as familiar to her as her own name. Her room stood nearly bare. Yet, a single object broke the stark emptiness of the room, something that she cherished above everything else in the castle. Something she loved nearly as much as her dear friends; a constant companion when Susie and Kris return to their real lives. Something that stirred emotions that could not be allowed to flourish. Something she never should have owned. 

Ralsei scooped the plushie of herself into her arms, wrapping it in a tight hug as she sat in the middle of the floor. The toy's soft fur bristled familiarly against her own; she suppressed a guilty, self indulgent smile. Such was more than she deserved. It wasn’t much; she knew that. Still, this small gift had meant everything to the princess. From Kris, no less…

Kris…I’m…I’m so sorry.

She pushed her friends’ smiling faces from her mind. Her thoughts crawled through icy mud in her brain as exhaustion crept through her body. She felt incoherent, dreamlike, totally disconnected. Each thought, each emotion alien to her yet profoundly affecting; self reflection, a luxury she rarely afforded herself, was utterly useless. 

Everything was happening to some other Ralsei, one that had friends, who knew and accepted her place in the world and in the prophecy, one that was strong enough to shoulder this burden. Or, at least, carry it long enough to not let her friends worry. 

And I couldn’t even do that. All I can ever do is make things about me, huh?

The wretch she was currently felt far more real than that version of herself. That version she imagined, that she so desperately tried to hope into existence. One where she could live a normal life with her friends, to not be chained to this place and this destiny… How could she have let herself get so wrapped up in her feelings? To indulge in her own selfish desires, knowing that it was all for nothing and would lead to nothing but disappointment. Kris, Susie, everyone…everything she did meant nothing in the face of their oncoming fate.

No, this was the real Ralsei. In these quiet hours away from her destiny, from her friends, her mask could slip. She could catch glimpses at the true nothing underneath it all. She, the hero of the prophecy, a prince from the dark, could not be real. She knew what real was, how it adventured about without a care, how its smile lit up the dark, how it could act and fight and run on its own. Ralsei, the Ralsei that had to exist for the sake of the prophecy, was none of that. That Ralsei wasn't real. He couldn't be. He was nothing but a role she played. That was forced upon her. What could that possibly leave her to be?

Even as she wallowed there, a small part of the princess still, despite everything pointing to futility, wished for a future where this was not the case. All those moments where she was able to forget about the prophecy and just enjoy being with her friends, to feel real for just a moment. As much as she resisted, thoughts of Kris snuck into her mind, as they so often did. Those stolen glances, their time alone together… All of it was more than she could ever hope for, that she ever deserved, and all of it was just a pipe dream Ralsei entertained, no doubt out of some sick form of self torment. As if they would ever feel the same way. Her heart ached a deep, unplaceable pain. 

This…this is what I really deserve. To be alone. Here. In the dark, away from them. Away from anyone I might…trick… into caring about me.

Something sticky pressed against her cheek. Her eyes were blurry, glasses off-kilter, and plushie still held in a desperate, clawing embrace. She sat up, confused and unaware of having even laid her head down in the first place, and brought a hand to her cheek.

Oh. Her hand came away a deep, crimson red. Maybe that’s why everyone was looking at me funny…

A wry smile crossed her face as awareness of her own body returned to her. Of course she had forgotten, why not! A bit of blood was the least of her worries today. A part of her, a much, much more vocal and persuasive part of her than she cared to admit, wanted to sit there. Let it stick, stain her fur and mark her. Let the whole world see how she failed to protect her friend, if she ever even deigned to get up again. 

Behind her, the bedroom door clicked and swung open, tearing Ralsei’s attention away from her bloody hand to the figure silhouetted in the frame. Their hands were raised in a mix of caution and pity seeing the princess in her current state. It was only then that she noticed the wet of tears streaked down her face. When had she started crying again? Had she ever even stopped? 

The figure approached, their shape unmistakable to Ralsei even shrouded in darkness. Her heart fluttered, heat spread across her face, and she wanted nothing more than to shrink into the darkest crevice as they approached. Still, her heart slamming against her chest and every fragment of instinct telling her to run and hide, she couldn’t help but brighten, just a bit, as they knelt before her.

“Oh, Ralsei…” Kris muttered, almost wordlessly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kris stood in the window as their cell phone clicked off. The instructions for the next day had been delivered with the exact amount of mystique, condescension, and lack of actually meaningful guidance that they’d come to expect from these calls. That they’d come loathe from them, more accurately. The rain was falling in heavy sheets by the time the call had finished, and Susie had disappeared down the block. They would simply have to wait until tomorrow to talk to her. It wasn’t like Kris knew where she lived, or even how to contact Susie if they needed to, now that they thought about it. Did Susie even have a phone?

They hopped down from the sill, the day’s events still flashing in their mind. Susie, the church, the old man, the Knight, the Titan, Ralsei… Her fur. Somehow, their mind kept returning to that flower-scented detail. That subtly sweet smell from her fur and cloak when they hugged. The faintest bit of it still lingered on Kris’s clothes. It was intoxicating. The past few days' events ran through their head like a blur; she was there in all of them. It was unavoidable. 

Their thoughts turned that undeniably shaken look she gave as the two of them went to seal the portal. They remembered the fear in her eyes, the ache, the desperation she tried so, so hard to cover for them. They had wanted to hold her tighter, to lie and tell her everything was going to be okay, to lie to themselves and say they would be safe together. They so desperately wanted those lies to be true. They were given no such opportunity. 

Their eyes shot towards the Soul in the birdcage. Flashes of rage sparked in their chest. It would never let them express themselves so freely, would never grant Kris so much agency. They almost felt blessed it hadn’t ruined things further; traitorous words always felt just inches from Kris’s lips when they were close to someone they truly cared about. They refused to allow themselves to feel grateful to the wretched thing for not making them say anything truly heinous, yet. Besides, they were getting better at resisting its urgings when necessary.

An unwelcome memory crossed their mind. Not good enough not to tell Ralsei that they were bringing BERDLY of all people to the festival tomorrow, however. Berdly? Seriously? Berdly. Be SO serious right now. Kris stifled a gag. Whatever was controlling them had a sick sense of humor. 

As much as they hated the thing, it was necessary for Kris to get to the Dark World. With a shutter of disgust, they plunged the Soul back into their chest, feeling its warmth and light pulse through them and rip away any sense of control they had over their actions. At least they could still get a couple words in without its influence. They felt the sickening sensation of being a backseat passenger in their own body as the Soul began moving about the room, inspecting various objects for no discernable reason to Kris. It is an awful thing to be a stranger in something so intimate as a body. 

Eventually, they had made their way to the schoolhouse closet, absolutely soaked to the bone from the rain. Even though Kris’s coat had been hanging up clearly in their room, their master had evidently decided it was of little use in torrential rain and left their house without it. No matter, Ralsei would probably think it was charming, or at least pretty normal for them, to show up wet. Still, they cursed their misfortune at being the poor sap that had to bear this stupid thing. What’s one more embarrassment? 

Soon enough, they were racing through Castle Town with all the urgency of someone who is more interested in what the local water cooler has to say than the wellbeing of a dear…friend? Yes, friend. That felt close to accurate. That’s all that Ralsei was to them at the moment. As far as she knew, anyway. 

What was it that Kris had come here to do, exactly? This wasn’t exactly normal for them. They couldn’t think of a single time they’d been here without Susie by their side. As much as they loved her, there were precious little moments with just Ralsei and themself alone. Even those, they reflected, were often spent thinking about Susie. They had very little choice in that regard as well.  And with the Soul exerting itself, what would they even say to her? What wouldn't they say? Was it worth the risk, letting that thing have such a say over their words? What if she was completely fine, and this was all a big overreaction? After all, Kris hadn't thought twice before rushing to Castle Town. They just…needed to know. To see her. She had to be okay. They needed her to be okay. 

Finally, they had reached the castle. It was only once their hand was on the door to Ralsei’s room that Kris began exerting their own will, to press against the bars of the cage ever so slightly. They didn’t know what they’d find there, but given that Ralsei was nowhere to be found in Castle Town, this was the most likely spot.

The princess turned towards the light as the door swung open. What they saw broke their heart. She looked awful. Sat there, alone, bloodied, clearly crying, shivering in the cold, nothing but her plushie for company. They rushed to her side.

“Oh, Ralsei…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, no! Why are you here. WHY are you HERE? Why now! Why not ANY other time! Oh please don’t look at me, please please stop looking at me like that I can’t-

“K-Kris! I-I was just…” Ralsei looked around, desperate for an excuse, desperate for anything to detract their gaze from her. She chose the wrong room for that. Kris knelt before her. 

“...You still have her blood there.” They said, in their monotone way, pulling out a surprisingly wet handkerchief from their pocket. Kris brought the kerchief up to her face and began lightly dabbing at her cheek in an almost practiced motion. Ralsei felt her face flush instantly.

“O-oh! Yes! I was, I was JUST about to go clean myself off, haha!” 

“You don’t have a sink, Ralsei.”

Her eyes met theirs for the briefest of moments before darting away. Of course they saw through that. For someone so quiet, Kris was awfully good at reading through deflections. There was obvious concern on their face. She didn’t have the strength to face them again. Instead, she kept her eyes down, locked on the plushie in her lap. The one that Kris gave to her. Her first possession. It tied her to this world; proof that someone, in some insignificant, small way, liked Ralsei for who she was. Proof that something existed underneath all she was supposed to be. She clutched the plushie tighter. 

Why now? Why are you being…so nice to me? I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve you here. All I can do is disappoint you. Stop…stop looking at me like that. Like you…care.

Ralsei could feel her emotions getting the better of her again. There was nothing in this world she wanted less than to break down, again, in front of them. Kris had already done too much for her; even their being here was more than she knew she deserved. They wiped the last of the blood from her face and sat down in front of her.

The selfish part of herself, one part of many she so desperately tried to repress, wanted to collapse into their arms. To be held like she had been earlier at the sanctuary. That…that was different than all the other times she and Kris had hugged. It had to be, she told herself, it had to be. It felt so much more real, there was volition behind that moment, and for a second, in their arms, everything had stopped. For just a second, Ralsei had felt real and whole and okay. There was no mask, no prophecy, no destiny. The world had fallen away and it was only her and Kris locked in a tight embrace, backs to all else. She stifled a sniffle as tears welled in her eyes. 

Kris gently took hold of her bloodied hand in theirs. They stared intently at it for just a second, then pressed the wet, bloodied kerchief into her hand and closed it with their own. There was a certain undeniable tenderness to the gesture. Her heart skipped a beat. Kris brought their gaze back up to meet Ralsei’s; she realized she had been staring at them. 

“Kris…”

They tilted their head ever-so-slightly to the side.

“Why…why did you come here? Is Susie here, too?” Her voice caught ever so slightly, and she cursed herself for allowing such sentimentality, such weakness to show. 

“It’s just me.” 

Just you. Ralsei thought.  Had she been in a lighter mood, she would have laughed. Maybe even let off some poorly-thought-out compliment about how Kris was so much more than “Just them!” but she stopped herself. This was not the time, and she was not that lighter version of herself. The longer she knew her friends, the more she herself became known, the harder it became to cast off her weights.  

I wish it was “just you”. Maybe then I wouldn’t be so nervous. Maybe then I wouldn't be beating myself up. Maybe I could…could enjoy this a little more. 

“Well, I’m- I’m glad you’re here, Kris. Of course I am. But…w-why? You’ve never come here by yourself before.” 

Why would I say that? They come all this way to visit when I’m CLEARLY upset, and this is my response? Kris just fought the titan, just like I did. I haven’t even asked how they’re feeling! She held back a grimace at her own words. 

“I wanted to check on you.” They turned away, slightly, as if embarrassed. 

“O-o-oh! Kris! I’m sorry! Of course! That’s so nice of you! That’s…” Ralsei  lowered her voice, looking away in turn. The kerchief in her hand nothing but a tightly clenched ball dripping sanguine water onto the floorboards.

“That’s so…considerate. Of you.” A sniffle. Ralsei could feel the tears welling up in her eyes again as she stole a glance back at Kris. They’d turned away from her, their face shaded and unreadable. Their posture almost…ashamed? Flustered? Her heart fluttered again; Kris had been there to comfort her, and all she could do was question them about their motives. All she could think was how she was unable to come to them to offer the same. Anxious thoughts and self doubt gripped her chest with a vice grip. 

She wiped her eyes on her sleeve, then finished cleaning off the rest of the blood. There were still some residual stains deep in her fur; she'd need to set aside some time later to get those out. It would be a long time before she could forget about them. 

As if on cue, Kris held their hand out for the handkerchief back. 

“Oh, yes, thank you for letting me borrow that. Sorry, I…I think I messed it up. Sorry.”

“...”

Kris neatly tucked the handkerchief back in their pocket, then held out their hand again, expectantly. 

“Kris? I…I don’t have anything else…” Then, suddenly, a flash of panic as she remembered the plushie she still clutched tightly to her chest.

Please. Not that, please.

“Did you…I’m sorry, Kris. Would you…like your gift back?”

They shook their head rapidly, eyes widening just slightly as if surprised. Then, they pointed at the free, now clean hand that rested in Ralsei’s lap and extended their own once again. 

Confused, slightly flustered, and not the least bit apprehensive, Ralsei placed her hand in theirs, sighing in relief as Kris smiled. Their fingers interlocked with hers; something about the way they fit together felt so right to the princess. The knight paused for just a moment, then stood up. 

Why are you-

“Come with me.” 

“K-Kris? I- Woah, hey!” They had barely given her time to stand before they began leading Ralsei out of her room and back out into the hall. Their grip was firm, comforting. She couldn’t tell why she suddenly felt a little better; maybe it was the familiar pattern of following behind Kris, as she knew she was supposed to. Maybe getting out of her room was a good thing. Maybe it was their hand in hers, a new sensation that she barely had begun to process. She stole a squeeze. Despite the tears still wet on her cheeks, she couldn't keep a dumb, goofy smile from splitting her face. 

We’ve never…they’ve never held my hand like this before. She blushed, feeling scandalous. 

Kris stopped, the door to their room held open in front of them. Well, their and Susie’s conjoined room, as Ralsei had not yet reverted things back to normal from the tea party earlier in the day. 

“It was too sad in there.” They said, leading her through the door. As much as she wanted to curl back up and avoid the world, Ralsei had to admit she felt a little better here. The plush rug under her feet was far more welcoming than the cold hardwood of her room, and being surrounded by tangible reminders of her friends brought a little light into her heart. Not to mention Kris themselves being there.

 Oh, wait a second, oh my. Ohhhh my. Why…Why did they bring me here? Alone? By ourselves? 

“Kris? Is it…okay? For just the two of us to be in here? A-After all, it is…it is Susie's room, too…” 

She felt stupid asking that, especially as she felt herself blushing. As soon as the words had left her lips, she realized she didn't care if it was okay, and scolded herself for almost sabotaging whatever was about to happen. There was no way she could look them in the eyes. She felt pathetic. She clutched her plushie tighter.

“...”

They stifled a yawn, their hands covering their mouth in a somewhat awkward, hurried maneuver. All the while they were staring intently at Ralsei, nodding. Kris was the only person she knew who’d yawn like that with their eyes open, but they did strange things all the time. Ralsei hardly even noticed their lips moving silently behind their hands.

In one deft motion, Kris whipped off their armor, throwing it to the ground with a wet thud. Then, without missing a beat, they shook a spray of water off their body. The act reminded Ralsei of a dog. Something about it was just so typical of them. She warmed at the sight. 

Kris sat on their bed and patted the space beside them expectantly. Something about their expression looked just a little…relieved? Had she asked something strange just a moment ago?

Obviously. Of course they wanted me in here, they brought me here. A-and I…I want to…be here. I want to be here.  

She steeled herself. For just a moment, the princess allowed herself to feel the full, unmitigated weight of her desire. Almost instantly, she shirked back from the heft of it. 

Ralsei approached the bed, not the least bit cautiously. Her heart began to pick up steam; she struggled desperately against an unruly imagination. Was this one of Kris’s pranks she'd heard so much about from Susie? They patted the bed again, this time slightly more insistently, their expression as unreadable as ever. 

“I’ve... Okay, don’t laugh at me Kris, but…” 

Why is this always so hard? Why do I keep getting so flustered? It's just Kris! My- Our friend! Our nice, reliable friend Kris. Just sit down, stop being so weird. Please.

“I’ve never actually used a bed before. I always just slept in my room.” 

Much to Ralsei’s surprise, Kris let out a small snort, followed by a smirk as they met her eyes. They were…smiling? Why? 

“Of course you haven’t, Ralsei.” 

Faster than expected, Kris grabbed Ralsei’s arm, throwing her off balance and pulling her down to the bed with a start. She let out a small squeak of surprise, her plushie tossed to the floor as the downy material cushioned her less-than-graceful fall. Splayed out on the bed, cheeks rosy, glasses so far off from kilter, she looked up at Kris, who still had that mischievous grin on their face. Something in their eyes was soft. Warm. There was a gentleness there that she almost never saw. It reminded her of their moment in the sanctuary.

Suddenly, the girl became aware of herself and sat up, her cheeks burning. She hid behind her ears bashfully. 

“Kris! T-that! That wasn’t very nice! Don’t surprise me like that! And I thought I asked you not to laugh!”

She couldn’t help but smile as she chided them. Her feelings about them aside, and putting those away required much more than your average aside, she always felt nervous when she was alone with Kris. Less so recently, especially since she'd gotten to know them better, but it always felt like neither could fully relax with the other. There was a tension, something hidden behind each word or touch. Not like now, not after what they’d been through together. 

“Still, I…I didn’t expect it to be so soft” Ralsei pressed her hands into the bedding, watching them sink into the plush with little resistance. She let her guard down just a bit, her breathing slowed. She could sense her face was still rather red and refused to turn to the knight.

“Didn’t you pick them out?” Kris asked.

“I did, I did…but I never used one. I just sort of, guessed. I suppose. About what the two of you would like.” 

She looked away to the plushie that sat on the floor, face down. A pang of guilt hit her for ignoring it, then another. She wasn’t telling the whole story. Again. The smile faded slightly from her face.

“Kris…Please don’t tell Susie this, okay?” She couldn’t look at them. Her eyes were locked on the plushie, avoiding the pity, the kindness, the anger, the confusion, whatever Kris would be looking at her with. Her nerves couldn’t take that from someone she cared for so deeply. She couldn't allow herself the cruelty of indulgence.

"I, um…It'd, hah, break her heart, you know? Kris? She really…really thinks this is all real, you know." She let out a sigh as her hand traced the pattern on the blanket. It was the sort of motion one would lose themselves in. 

“I…I never thought I deserved a bed. Or anything comfortable, really. It was selfish to want something so frivolous for myself. I…”

Her vision clouded with tears as her voice caught in her throat. 

Why is this always so hard? Why am I always the one crying? Just. Stop. I’m so…I’m so sick of being me. Being like this.

“I thought that if you two were happy, then that was enough for me. You were the ones with real lives, real friends, people who were waiting for you back home. Me? I- I…never had any of that, nothing that ties a person to the world. So…ha, why waste time trying to figure out what I wanted? I could…I could just, be happy, for you. Through you. I thought that was enough, I…" 

The princess felt herself sprawling into tangent. She paused and let out a long, collecting sigh. Kris's sightline remained locked on her. She continued, "It…it wouldn’t make a difference, anyway. The end is…the end is the same. For me. For you”.

For us. The words died in her throat, caught and strangled on a web of stifled emotions and unexpressed desires. In a just world, they could have been an "us", but there was no justice here. She drew in a shaky breath, allowing the corpses in her throat to settle. She'd never told anyone that before. She never thought she would even say those thoughts aloud, and to tell Kris, here, now…

Two arms wrapped themselves around her shoulders. They held tightly. Ralsei’s breath caught in her chest, eyes wide, her heart close to stopping. Tears were flowing freely down her face as she stifled a sob. 

“K…Kris?” 

Their head came to rest against the crook of her neck, pressed firmly into her scarf. She looked down at her hands in her lap. Was this real? Her heart pounded in her chest, her throat ached as she tried to contain the wellspring of emotions inside of her. Here she was, in their room, on their bed, being held and comforted by the person she trusted and cared for most, the person for whom she stifled so many unruly desires, and all that she could think was how she deserved none of it. 

In a sudden burst of disregard, Ralsei turned her body into the embrace, foregoing her reservations and wrapping her own arms around Kris. She nearly threw them off balance as she buried her face against their chest. The rush of relief overwhelmed the small princess. Sobs, deep and painful and so, so necessary poured out of her as Kris held tighter. Her glasses pressed uncomfortably into her face; she couldn’t care less. There was nothing that could tear her from them in this moment.

Ever so gently, Kris laid back into the pillows at the head of the bed, carefully urging the princess into a more comfortable position. Never in her life had she been held so tenderly; she wondered how she ever lived without knowing this comfort. Kris’s chin rested perfectly on top of her head as she laid on their chest, wrapped in their arms. Occasionally, they would stroke her hair, or pet her ears. Little gestures of kindness that sent electric shocks coursing up and down Ralsei’s spine. She wanted to melt into them, to freeze this moment in time forever and never let them go.

She knew she must look like such a mess. A part of her hated herself for burdening her friend, yes, friend still felt like the appropriate word, though was rapidly growing insufficient, with the responsibility of her feelings. That part felt so insignificant. Ralsei had dreamt about a moment like this, filled her daydreams with thoughts and theories of how good it would feel to be pressed up against Kris, to be held so tightly that every ill and care melted away in their embrace.

A part of her was right; it was amazing. She was unsure of how long they had been laying there, and she didn’t want to know. Ralsei savored each breath they shared. She delighted in feeling Kris’s chest rise and fall, rise and fall, rise and fall. Their scent was richer and more detailed than they could have ever observed from just standing near them, and the warmth of being held for so long was unlike anything she'd ever experienced before. She just wished it wasn’t set against the backdrop of everything else that was going on. She wished she could enjoy them without feeling so awful. 

Does this…mean something more than I think it does? 

She stole a glance up at Kris. They looked so relaxed, so content. It was almost odd seeing them like that; it was not an expression Ralsei was used to seeing on their face. They looked good. She couldn’t help but giggle despite the tears, pressing her face back down into their chest before they could catch wind of what she was doing. Wait, what was she even doing? Was he…checking them out? So blatantly like that?

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. This isn’t that. It can't be. I can’t let it be anything more. We might even be pushing it as it is. I should get up. I should make an excuse and leave. I need to go. They can't-, Can't-... I should go. I can’t let them know I-

Suddenly, Kris leaned down. Their face was mere inches from her cheek; their breath warm. Ralsei’s heart stopped for what felt like the hundredth time today. Her body tensed, and she froze. She knew what was coming. 

They kissed her cheek.

Oh. 

“What’s wrong?” 

Oh no. No, please no. Please tell me that didn’t just happen. Kris, please say this is a prank. This isn't real. I'm not- Please. Push me off the bed, say something mean, throw my glasses across the room, I don’t care. You didn’t just do that. You can’t. You can’t like me like that. The me you know isn't real. I'm not real. I'm not real. I don’t deserve someone like you. I don't deserve this. We could never…I’ll only end up disappointing you. It can't work. I can’t believe they just kissed me. KRIS just kissed ME. Is this real? Am I awake? Please say I fell asleep, let this be a dream. Oh no. I never wanted-

A hand waved in front of Ralsei’s face, bringing her out of her panic for just a second. She hadn’t realized her mouth was gaping, or that she had gone completely unresponsive.

”Ralsei?” 

Kris had sat up; Ralsei’s head now rested in their lap. She brought her eyes back into focus as she came back to herself. Kris looked worried as they stared back at her. 

“Are you okay?”

”O-o-oh! Kris! Haha, yes! Yep! Never better! I just,” The flush spreading across her face was undeniable. Even her ears were turning red. “I didn’t expect that, is all!” 

Their lips narrowed into a line as they turned their head away from the princess. What was that expression? Guilt? Embarrassment? Resentment? Ralsei couldn’t tell, which did absolutely nothing to help her anxiety. She sat up rapidly, folding her legs underneath her to face Kris head-on. 

“It was really sweet of you Kris, honestly! I’m sorry! I’m sorry I’m being weird…I’m not trying to be! I, um, really liked it! Really! And it’s not that I don’t want you to kiss me either. I do! A lot! It's just, um, I'm a Darkner, a-and- The prophecy, you know? You're- It doesn’t say that’d work for us. I’m sorry! I'm sorry! I hope I’m not being weird! And even if it did, haha, what would that even mean? Not that I don’t want things to work! This is all so complicated. And you! You’re great, Kris.  Nothing like me, haha! You deserve so much better than me! N-not that I didn't like it! Of course I did! I-”

“...”

I’m messing this up.

Ralsei knew the expression on their face now. Dejection. Regret. And there she was, running her mouth, making things so much worse and unable to stop. Like she always did. Her heart raced in her chest; she knew she was breathing too fast and could do nothing to stop herself. She felt like she was about to lose control. She bunched the blanket at her side into balls in her fists. her mind ran at a million miles a minute, searching for anything, mystic, magical, or mundane, that she could say or do to make things right. For now, she shut up.

Kris sat, wordlessly, for minutes that seemed to stretch into hours into days into nights into weeks into years. 

“…”

“K-kris?”

”…” 

Ralsei felt her resolve diminish into nothing. Had it not been for the sheer force of her fear rooting her to the spot, she would have ran from the room already. Almost instinctively, she felt the tears begin to well up. She fought them back desperately. She refused to cry and risk making them feel even worse. She refused. 

”Say something…please…”

Her hand reached out to theirs, but hesitated. She wanted so desperately to go back to just a moment before, where everything felt okay. Kris stared down at the floor, unmoving. Ralsei yearned for them to look at her, one more time, even if it was in anger. 

“I’m sorry, Kris…”

“…you liked it?” Those words were spoken almost imperceptibly, yet Ralsei jumped back as if they had been screamed. Of all the things Kris could have said, that wasn’t what she expected to hear. She could have laughed if her nerves weren’t on fire.

“H-huh?”

“You said you wanted to kiss me. You said you liked it.” 

Ralsei wiped tears from her eyes. A hesitant smile crept onto her lips. Words failed to reach her lips. 

"And…you want me to kiss you, Ralsei?" 

The words were rapid-fire knockout blows to Ralsei's punching bag face. Intrinsically, she knew she had just said that. She remembered her panicked word-vomit much clearer than she cared to, but hearing the sentiment from Kris's mouth made it seem so foreign to her. She had intended to keep that desire locked tightly away in her chest, where it would do no harm and cause no problems. Yet, here it was, doing the opposite. Suppression had failed. Running, likewise, had failed. Without any further recourse, the princess turned directly to her problem and faced it.

“Of course I do! I’ve…always wanted to. I-I still do! I think about you all the time, Kris. I think about all the moments we’ve shared, I think about ways I can make you smile the next time you come to Castle Town…Everything you’ve done for me… You’ve always been so kind to me. You and Susie both! And I can’t tell you how grateful I am to have both of you in my life, really! But…”

She trailed off. How could she explain the tangled web that kept them apart? How their fates wouldn’t allow it? And on top of that, did she even want to? In this moment, denying what they both wanted seemed so, so hard. 

“I’m the Lonely…Prince, remember, Kris? It’s not my place to…”

She couldn’t bring herself to say it. 

To be loved. 

“I’m supposed to be…alone. I'm only supposed to play a role. Nothing more. I don't get to be anything…more, than that. Nobody more than that. I wasn’t meant to be…with you, or anyone, I guess. That’s why I’m stuck down here, I think.” 

Her eyes fell to the plushie again. Her sole possession, given to her by Kris. The thing that set off this whole chain of events; the totem that got her thinking maybe, just maybe, she deserved to be a little bit selfish. Look where that got her. What would even happen after this? Would they still want to be friends? Could they be? Would Kris even talk to her anymore? A pit, yawning and massive and icy cold opened in her stomach at the thought. Despite what she just said, that would break her. She couldn’t go back to how things were before the two of them came. She didn’t want to be lonely anymore. 

"If I…if I was more, then…what next? Where does it end? Everything could go wrong, all because…All because I decided to be selfish. To put myself above my station. That being the Prince wasn't…who I wanted to be. I don't…" She curled into herself, feeling the tears well up again. As much as she hated herself for her weakness, for her unerring selfishness in burdening Kris with her conflict, she could not stop. Like groundwater from a tapped well, she could not halt the flow of emotions pouring out of her. 

She wanted to curse that stupid toy, to curse Kris, herself, fate, the Angel, anything for getting her into this whole mess. It would’ve been better if she'd never felt like this in the first place, better for everyone. If she had just stuck to her role, kept her mask up, and pretended everything was fine, she wouldn't be here. Pretended she was okay with her feelings not being reciprocated. pretended that she never was a person to begin with, just a hollow vessel through which the Prophecy exerted its will. Pretended that yearning and possibility and stolen glances and accidental touches were enough for her. She knew this wouldn’t work, and knew that she didn’t even have the energy to get mad. Not after today.

“If you wanted to…wanted all this…” Kris started, finally turning to face the princess. As terrified as Ralsei was, something calmed in her upon seeing their eyes fixed on her. “Why wouldn’t you take it? At least try?”

Their hand reached out, and Ralsei took it on instinct. Her heart stilled, feeling their hand squeeze tightly against her . They were right; she wanted to. She wanted this so, so, so badly. Just being held such as she had been was more than she ever thought possible.  She felt the last shreds of resistance within herself fade away. 

“I do, Kris. I really, really do. I swear. But, are you sure this is okay? Honestly? I’m so scared, Kris. Scared of what might happen, what the future holds for us. Not just me and you, everyone…I don’t want you to get hurt anymore. I don’t want to lose you.” 

Kris jerked her hand up to their mouth and kissed her hand. Ralsei swore she could feel their lips forming words against the back of her hand. Their eyes, however, never left her face. They seemed to be pleading. Slowly, intentionally and with an apparently great amount of effort, they nodded. 

"A-and…um. If I…wasn't…the Prince, anymore…I, um…" She felt herself automatically retreat behind those ears of hers. It felt traitorous to take her hand from theirs; instantly, she missed their warmth. She hadn't prepared herself for this; these thoughts had swirled around her head ever since…could she think of a time they hadn't been there? Where she hadn't begrudged the role forced upon her? How jagged and claustrophobic its borders were? She struggled to think of an instance where she truly wanted to be the Prince she had been told to be, and came up empty. 

Her thoughts fell to her wardrobe and a chill passed through the princess. A single garment, a dress, she had only dared to wear once after Kris and Susie had gone home. She pressed as hard against her role as she could have in that moment, and for one brief, beautiful second, she saw through to the other side. There was a whole world in front of her where this constant constriction could be cast off. 

Then, just like that, her fear overtook her. She threw the dress off in a frenzy, burying it beneath all her other clothes and costumes and praying the Prophecy would not be irreparably damaged. She had almost allowed her selfish desires to get the better of her. And now, here in Kris's arms, they threatened to overwhelm her again. 

"...?" Their head cocked inquisitively, trying to see into her hiding spot. She could feel their gaze burrowing through her skin. The right words failed to coalesce; she took whatever she could get.

"If I was, um, if I…wanted to be the…Princess…would that, um, be okay? Even if it was just for a bit? O-or, um, just with us?" 

"Yes, Ralsei," Their response was both instant and more enthusiastic than she had ever heard from the laconic knight, "Please be yourself."

Ralsei let loose a breath she did not know she was holding. Awareness flooded her senses; tension she was holding vanished, fists and jaw came unclenched. She couldn't help but succumb to the rush of endorphins; for once, she felt her emotions uncritically and fully. 

"O-Oh, Kris, I-!" She wiped her face on her sleeve, leaving an ungraceful trail she prayed the knight did not notice, "R-Really? You're sure? You're sure it's okay for me? You'd still…we could still be friends? If I…changed?"

They nodded unabashedly; their smirk was undeniable.

"I had a feeling."

"Huh? Had a feeling I wasn't…?"

They nodded again, "You aren't subtle, Ralsei."

"Was I really that obvious?"

"Yes."

"So, um, when I…even when I try to hide what I'm feeling, even then?"

"Yes, Ralsei. Especially then."

"You're joking, Kris! I'm not that bad, surely! I…well, then, what am I thinking now?"

"You want to kiss again, Ralsei."

Darn.

"Nope! I was, I was thinking about how nice it is to be spending time with my dear friend, Kris, of course!" 

"Right. Sure."

"But, um… since, you brought it up, Kris, could we…? Kiss again?" 

They smiled and gave another nod. It wasn't their typical expression; something hidden under ambiguity or only there if one knew to look. There was nothing ambiguous to Kris in this moment. In a rare moment of lucidity, she knew exactly what she wanted, and exactly what they wanted. 

“Um, okay! If you’re sure…”

Ralsei felt her heart speed up again. In her whirlwind of emotion, of raging joy and ranchorous relief, she had forgotten herself. She had never actually kissed someone. What business did she have asking for another kiss? On further consideration, had Kris even kissed anyone before? If their social life, as told by Susie, was anything to be believed, odds were not in favor of the affirmative. Was it like nuzzling? She was a pro at that, so maybe she could just clear her mind and…

Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and just…touch your lips to theirs. Just like a nuzzle, change the last step. It's that easy. If it was that simple, why did she feel ready to jump out of her own skin? Kris had already closed their eyes and leaned in, so what was she waiting for?

Ralsei gave their hand a squeeze, for reassurance, then leaned in with the utmost trepidation. Then, contact. Clumsy at first; Ralsei hadn’t even felt confident enough to close her eyes until she was sure she wouldn’t miss. Then sparks. An explosion of emotions, time freezing to a standstill as their lips fell into place. Her breath caught in her throat. She could feel them fighting off a smile. As if on cue, both of them pulled away with a satisfying smack!

“Oh…wow.” Ralsei adjusted her glasses as she leaned back, feeling, for probably the first time in her life, utterly at a loss for words. Kris’s usual stony expression was replaced with a goofy smile. The kind of smile that joy felt purely and wholeheartedly could bring to a person’s face. Neither could take their eyes off the other, both breathing heavily.    

Ralsei threw herself onto her knight, cupping their cheeks in both hands. Damn her fears, damn everything that told her she was unworthy of this. She needed them. Their lips locked together. Ralsei could feel the surprise, the tension in Kris’s posture, but soon their arms were wrapped around her body and nothing else in the world mattered. 

This, this was everything. This was what she had been missing all along. Jolts of lightning crackled through every nerve in her body; it felt as though her fur was standing on ends. Butterflies erupted from her stomach. She nearly forgot to breathe. This time, she did nothing to stop the tears from flowing freely down her cheeks. They felt so right together, all those anxieties she previously felt seemed to melt away. She pressed deeper into them, savoring their taste, feeling their breath against her face as they both came up for air. 

She ran her hands through their hair, down their back, across their chest. Ralsei wanted to take in every sensation she could, to crystalize this moment in amber and remember it with the utmost clarity for years to come. Feeling playful, she pushed them back down onto the bed, throwing her full weight on top of them as she came in for another round of kisses. She peppered their jaw, their neck, their cheeks with love; she simply couldn’t get enough. And there they were, smiling, laughing, touching her with hands more gentle and deft than she could have imagined. Her body was an instrument, and everywhere Kris touched resonated in turn. It was like she was made for this, for them. 

“Please…don’t stop.” Ralsei begged with a half whisper in their ear. Being cuddled for the first time was one thing, and now this? Never had she considered herself capable of this. She had never allowed herself to even entertain the idea being loved with such abandon. Such things, until now, were not permitted for a girl like her. 

 For the first time in a long, long time, she gave in. No restraint, no guilt. She was finally allowing herself to simply enjoy the moment. She needed their touch like the darkness that gave her form, and how deeply did she drink of that fountain.  

They did not stop. Could not, would not, refused to stop. She lost track of time; she had barely been keeping it in the first place. She would have guessed they’d made out for hours, but had no way of knowing. However long, it could never feel like enough. Somehow, they knew just how to touch her, how to caress her face and hold her down and kiss all her most sensitive spots, like they were both lines of a melody that had always been meant to be played in harmony. Ralsei knew Kris was good at flirting, but hadn’t expected them to be good at this. 

Not to say Ralsei didn’t put in a good effort herself, either. Kris clearly knew what they were doing, and she was eager to learn by example. Before long, she was leaving Kris flustered; while they didn’t say much, she could tell by the look on their face and the blush that painted it. They didn’t need to say anything at all. She even took a page out of their book and tried a couple playful bites around their neck and collarbone. Why not! She could be that kind of girl. She felt light, freed, and totally supported in their arms. Untouched by the anxieties that plagued her day to day, if just for those few blissful moments. 

Eventually, the two of them tired, laying in a panting heap on Kris’s bed. Ralsei’s scarf and glasses had long since been tossed to the floor. She felt far more exposed without them than she had a right to be, but in their arms, it didn’t matter. She would have given them everything, every inch of herself, had they but asked. They both stared up into the blackness of the ceiling. In this castle, it seemed to stretch on into infinity.

I wish we could stay like this forever. Ralsei sent that silent prayer up to nothing in particular. No matter what may or may not have heard, the thought mattered to her all the same.  

Her eyes felt heavy. No wonder everyone had beds, these things were the best! It took significant mental effort to not fall asleep in Kris’s arms, and she didn’t want to miss a single moment of this. For someone without fur, they were so much warmer than Ralsei expected. Their head rested between her horns as they spooned. She held back a chuckle thinking about accidentally bonking them against Kris’s head earlier. She simply wasn’t used to having to mind her horns around others. 

“You make a good plushie, Ralsei.”

“Kr- Huh? What? What do you mean I make a good plushie? I-” Her eyes narrowed as it hit her. Kris snickered and pulled her tighter into a remarkably familiar position.

“I see.” 

“You see?”

“Hey! I can’t help being so soft, you know! It’s not like I agreed to let them make a plushie out of me, either. Not my fault I'm so marketable.” The plushie she came in with was still on the floor, though markedly blurrier without her glasses and partially covered by her discarded scarf. 

How many of those are out there in the world, anyway? Tenna WAS selling them…probably. Come to think of it…was that a bit? How many mini Ralseis were out in the world, actually? What kind of freaks would buy a plush of someone they've never met? Then again, what kind of freak would get a plushie of someone they HAVE met? W…wait a second…

“Can’t beat the real thing.” 

Ralsei blushed a deep crimson. It wasn’t often that Kris paid her, or really anyone, such a direct complement. She snuggled tighter against their body and smiled. 

“Hey, Kris?”

“Mmm?”

“I’m sorry. About earlier, I mean. Sorry for freaking out when you kissed me. And sorry for always crying all the time..and for hiding things, for not being truthful about myself, and-”

She was cut short. Kris squeezed tightly from behind, nuzzling their chin against her head. Ralsei smiled wearily. At a fundamental level, she felt that they knew her. Knew her enough that an apology was superfluous. 

They really are too good for me. 

“I’ve always…wanted…this. Wanted you, you know.” 

Kris stirred behind her, indicating they were listening. At least, that’s what Ralsei interpreted it as. They were not the easiest person to read at the best of times, especially when their tone or inflection didn’t quite match up with what they said. Regardless, if the past…however long was any indication, Ralsei felt justified in assuming she had their attention. To a certain extent, it didn't matter if they heard her or not. The words needed to be said aloud all the same. 

“Without you, Kris, none of this would be happening. Me, you, Susie, everyone in town, so many amazing friends and experiences you’ve opened my eyes to. Not to mention you in general. Gosh, I… I didn't know what to do. I felt so many things, things I told myself I wasn't supposed to feel. At first…I’ll be honest. I was a little intimidated by you.” 

Kris sat up, shooting Ralsei a look of incredulity. 

“Don’t give me that look! You and Susie both, though for different reasons I guess. You were so sure of yourself, so decisive and cool…Everything I thought I could never be. Then I got to know you a little better. I found out how kind and funny you could be, how you inspire the people around you to be better. I wanted- You made me want to be better. I didn’t think I deserved to know you back then.” 

Kris gave her a gentle smile, looking up and down her body before falling back into the big spoon position. 

“You’ve changed so much, Ralsei. You’ve grown a lot.” 

Her heart softened at their words. The princess was more than a little surprised. She wasn’t looking for validation, not particularly. If anything, she was simply excited to be speaking her mind without fear of judgement, to finally find herself in a space without the pretense of Prophecy or expectation. To finally speak without performing a role. Hearing Kris acknowledge her in such a way scratched an itch she didn’t know she was feeling. She let their words hang, unsure of how to reply without sounding trite. 

“...I’ve changed a lot, too.” They whispered, their tone had shifted, almost as if afraid someone else might hear their words. Kris’s voice was barely more than an exhale, even with their mouth so close to Ralsei’s ears. 

“There are so many things I want to tell you. So many things I’ve kept from you. Both of you.” Their voice, pressured as it was, quavered. A deep sincerity resonated within their words. Along with it, however, so much shame and fear. 

“Whatever happens, Ralsei… know how deeply I care for you. Nothing changes that.”

“K-Kris? I’m sorry but… I don’t understand.” Ralsei reluctantly freed herself from their hold and let her feet dangle off the bed. There was an undeniably pained expression on Kris’s face; they were trying very hard to maintain composure. The princess felt a stab of anxiety pierce the shroud of comfort and safety they’d built together as Kris looked up with pleading eyes and a grimace. Destiny, it seemed, could not be evaded forever. 

“What…what do you mean, ‘things you’ve kept from us’?” 

Kris’s eyes grew wide at the princess’s question; fear washed over their face in a wave. Somehow, Ralsei knew she should’ve kept her mouth shut. 

“The bun-” They were cut off as a sickening, wet splunch sounded through the room. Immediately, Kris doubled over, clasping their hand over their mouth and coughing against a mouth held tightly shut. Ralsei gasped, jumping up from the bed with arms outstretched towards her knight. Blood streamed through their fingers and down their chin. 

“Kris! Oh my goodness, what happened? What did you do? Are you okay? I’m so sorry! Let me fix-” Just as she was about to heal, Kris put a hand out, the hand not covering their mouth, to stop her. 

“I’m okay” They said, unconvincingly, through gritted teeth. Flecks of blood splashed at Ralsei’s feet. 

“No, no you’re not Kris! What did you just do?” They brought their hand away from their mouth. Even from the few feet away that she stood, Ralsei could see the deep, teeth-shaped gouges in their tongue. Almost on instinct, her hands flew to their jaw and cradled their face. Unfortunately, this would be the second time today a friend’s blood stained her fur. 

They looked up at her, their face a contortion of pain, surprise, fear, and something Ralsei couldn’t place. She concentrated, mouthing wordlessly an incantation that she'd known for all her life as her hands began to glow. The wounded flesh began to knit itself back together, painstakingly slow at first, then picking up speed as the princess poured more magic intent into her prayer. Surely enough, Kris’s mouth looked untouched, save for the blood still caked into their skin. Her heart ached to see them hurt and so obviously frightened.

“Why…” Her voice was barely a whisper. They looked so ashamed. Ralsei’s heart sank; somehow, this was her fault. This was something she knew intrinsically and deeply to be true. The consequences of her choices made manifest. Poisonous guilt crept over her like kudzu over a shed; it threatened to collapse her from the outside in.

“Y-you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, Kris. I’ll just…be here. We don’t have to say anything. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.” 

They grabbed hold of her arms as if clinging on for support. They pressed her hands against their face supplicatingly, but still, they wouldn’t look at her. Her resolve faltered. 

“I-I…Do you want me to go?” She didn’t want to ask that. She didn’t want to hear their response, and most of all she didn’t want to leave their side.  Her self doubt overrode everything they’d just shared, and she fell back on what she knew how to do best: Run. For a brief moment, she had forgotten how weak she really was. 

Finally, they looked back at her, but their expression had shifted. Hardened with concentration. She could see them exerting against something, but in her panic her mind was blank. She was at a loss of how to help her friend.

“Leave.”

Barely a whisper, their voice strained and hoarse like the word was pulled over sandpaper. It echoed around the princess. Leave leave leave leave leave. They may as well have shouted. She felt her legs go weak; it took all her will to stay standing. Tears stood in the corners of her eyes. Wordlessly, she took a step back, jaw held slightly open in betrayal. 

Only, Kris would not let go. Their grip tightened around her arms, their fingernails digging into her flesh. Ralsei could barely stand to look at them; she was too hurt. She gave a single, halfhearted tug to try and escape their grip, but they were clearly much stronger than her. 

She didn’t understand. Why? Why would they say that but hold on so tight? Ralsei was exhausted, dejected, and so emotionally drained. She pulled away again, harder, balling her fists up tight and steeling herself, yet she still made no progress.

“Let go.” She pulled again. No use. Her voice felt puny, ineffective.

“Kris, let go.” Their head was hanging, hair obscuring their face but held to her unrelentingly. Whatever this was, Ralsei wanted nothing to do with it.  She couldn’t even stand looking at them. She could barely raise herself above a whisper.

She struggled against their strength, bracing her stance and pulling with as much force as she could muster, but it accomplished little. She could feel their grip bruising her arms, felt their nails biting into her skin. They were much stronger than her and she knew it. She clenched her jaw against the pain. Ralsei was no stranger to fights or to pain, of course, but this was far worse. The betrayal she felt in this moment magnified every sensation a hundredfold, as if her very skin was being shorn from its place. She gathered her strength and pushed herself to do what was needed.

“Kris, let me le-” She yanked, but her balance was off. She pitched forward and Kris seized the opportunity, pulling the princess with a force that threatened to dislocate her shoulders. her stomach lurched as she was thrown onto the bed for the second time today. Instincts told her muscles how to reorient her body, and she landed on her back, bouncing just slightly. Faster than she could react, Kris was on top of her, pinning her down by the shoulders and staring her down, their breathing heavy and ragged.

What should I do? What’s wrong with them? Are we actually…fighting? No, but… Are they really trying to hurt me? Ralsei’s mind raced with adrenaline; She knew that she was no match for them in a fight. Worse, she was basically already beaten, pinned down, weaponless, basically sightless as she was. Her heart raced, her eyes danced around the room for an escape route as panic began to rise in her throat. Why? Why were they…

Something wet dripped down onto her face. She could just barely make it out without her glasses, but was Kris…crying? Their expression was unreadable and hard, their grip on her shoulders inescapable. If they wanted to hurt her, she was at their mercy, fully without recourse. Their full weight pinned her limbs down, yet they just sat there, their breath hot and heavy. As she oriented herself, Ralsei saw the undeniable truth. Heavy, wet tears gathered and rained from the corner of their eyes, splattering her face. They tasted bitter and warm. 

Without warning, their right hand reached out to the side dramatically, then shot deep into their chest, passing through skin and muscle and sinew and bone like they were light rippling off a pond. Ralsei stifled a scream as the flesh sank into their chest, passing easily through their ribcage up to the elbow. Kris grunted in pain, their eyes wide as they wrestled with their innards. The sight was horrid. She stopped struggling, more out of confusion than anything. She couldn’t look away.

With great difficulty, their hand ripped from their sternum holding something familiar. Their Soul. It pulsed with a faint red light, gripped tightly in Kris’s hand before being thrown ferociously across the room and landing with a soft thud in the corner. Their energy expended, Kris collapsed onto the princess, nearly knocking the wind out of her. Her mind raced to keep up with what just happened.

“That wasn’t…that can’t have been…K-Kris?” They were struggling to catch their breath. She didn’t try to push them off, not yet at least. Ralsei had seen their Soul before, of course. Many times, in fact, particularly today. She knew precious little about it; only that it was something unique to humans and that it was the source of Kris’s power, what had let them close the Fountains. That, and that it had kept them alive an uncountable amount of times. She had no idea they could just take it out. The Soul moved about on the floor slowly, inching closer towards the pair. 

Kris’s eyes shot towards the thing like a cat spotting its prey. With great effort, they pushed themselves off Ralsei and to their feet, grabbing Ralsei’s discarded scarf off the ground in a flurry of fabric. They pounced on the Soul, throwing their whole body at it with reckless abandon and scooping it up in the scarf. In seconds they had deftly woven the scarf into a knot around it, then collapsed, making sure to slam their prey against the floor with a good hearty thwack before they did. Ralsei swore they saw the knight cringe just slightly. The Soul rolled around impotently in its fabric cage, seemingly undeterred by Kris’s wrath. 

Ralsei sat on the bed dumbfounded as she struggled to make sense of what just happened. 

They shouldn’t be able to do that. At least, there’s nothing in the prophecy about the Soul being let out of its cage. Wait, why…why is it caged in the first place? Why does that cage need to be Kris? Does it have to be? Wait, Kris! Kris is hurt!

Now was not the time to worry about the mechanics of the prophecy. She rushed to their side, her sense of urgency returned to her. Whatever they just did, it left them drained. Acting on instinct, she began to fire off another healing spell. Kris’s hand shot up, stopping her.

“Won’t…work.” Their voice was faint and strange. It was clearer than what the princess was used to. Audibly different, as if some processing filter had suddenly been switched off. Their timbre was definitely more ragged, and the words seemed to come with a great deal of effort, but it was clearer all the same.

“I’m sorry. It…I didn’t want you to leave.” There was genuine remorse in their voice; the legibility of the emotion was almost shocking. As worried as she was, Ralsei couldn’t help but smile.

“I don’t care about that, Kris! That’s not important right now. Are you okay? Are you hurt? Why…How did you…” She wanted to do something, anything for them, but this was beyond the scope of her mystical knowledge. That terrified her. The whole display had her trembling. She wasn’t used to being in the dark. All she could do was hold their hand. 

“It controls me. Mostly.” They coughed, hard. The Soul bumped against Ralsei’s foot in its ball. “I hate it.” 

So many things clicked into place. 

“Is it…dangerous?” 

“I don’t think so, not like it is now. Just…” They grabbed the scarf ball and tossed it onto Susie’s bed, which served as an excellent corral for the thing. “Be careful. I don’t want it near you.” 

Ralsei flushed a bit at that comment as she helped them sit up. They were undeniably less steady without their Soul, but seemed to be getting over the initial shock of its loss. So many questions ran through her mind. About the Soul, about what they meant by ‘mostly’, about what this meant for them. She kept them at bay for now, not wanting to stress Kris more than they already were. They would talk when they were ready. For now, she was content acting as support for her knight to lean on.

“I hope I didn’t scare you.” 

“Haha! Kris, I think I-...I’ve gotten used to you scaring me.” She paused, “Though, this time was definitely worse than most.” 

They smiled, just slightly. 

“How…how do you feel? Without it, I mean. Are you okay? Is this…how long can you be without it?” 

The smile faded fast. “Not good, Ralsei. Not good. It’s harder in the Dark World than in the Light.” They paused for a moment, considering.

“It doesn’t feel good to be controlled either.” 

Ralsei’s thoughts flashed to all the times Kris’s actions didn’t line up with what they’d said, or when their tone just didn’t match their words. For how long have they been resisting the Soul? How much of the person she thought Kris was, was really just the Soul’s influence? The princess felt an uncanny sense of empathy for the knight. Neither of them, it seemed, were as truthful as they would have liked to be. 

She kept her mouth shut and let them talk. As worried as she was, it was nice to hear their voice like this. It was nice just to sit with them.

“I meant it when I said I cared about you, you know.” Their hand grasped her weakly; their head came to rest on her shoulder, “Nothing could change that.” 

That answers that, at least. She wanted them to elaborate so badly. To assuage her anxieties one by one, to offer reassurance that, yes, their friendship was real and mattered and that her feelings really were reciprocated. That this moment, this night, wasn't just a soon-to-be forgotten mistake. That she could have more. Could have them again. 

 But she held herself back. These precious moments where Kris could speak without outside influence would undoubtedly be few and far between. She could say anything and hope that, despite whatever they’d say in return, Kris would get the point. Besides, they needed to talk freely.

“I had no idea you were going through this, Kris. I wish I could’ve helped you sooner.”

“I didn’t want you to know. Or Susie, either. It felt like too much to put on you. I didn’t want either of you to hate me.”

Now there was a sentiment Ralsei could relate to. She pulled them into an embrace, cradling their head against her chest. 

“I could never hate you. You know that.”

“You should. You don’t know what I’ve done.”

“I don’t care, Kris.” She held tighter, resting her head against theirs. They laid limp and cold in her embrace. “I don’t care at all.” 

Her cloak grew wet against her chest where their head lay. Silently, Kris’s shoulders heaved. They weakly wrapped their arms around the princess. This was a side of them she never knew existed, one that she felt woefully underprepared to handle. Anxieties swarmed in the corners of her mind, as they so often did, but she gave them no heed as she usually would. She was wanted. She was loved. She could fall apart when she wasn’t needed, but that would not be today. For now, she simply hoped she was enough for them.

Kris clung to their princess long after the tears stopped flowing, long enough for the floor beneath them to introduce aches to muscles they didn’t even know they had. Their time was running short, they could feel it. Soon, they would need to put the Soul back. To go back to being its puppet. To stop being themselves. 

They looked up. Exhaustion was evident on Ralsei’s face; dark circles ringed reddened eyes and her fur stuck out at odd angles. She looked so different without her characteristic scarf and glasses, so much more vulnerable. The day had clearly worn hard on both of them; they were sure they didn’t look much better. 

“Kris?” She said sleepily, rubbing her face as they pulled away. “Is everything alright?”

“I think you’ve forgotten something.” A small spark of panic flashed across her face.

 “What? What’ve I forg-” Kris pulled her glasses from their pockets, which they had managed to swipe off the floor. “Huh?! When did you grab those?”

“Maybe I wanted a good look at you without them. You have pretty eyes.” 

She blushed visibly at the comment, her gaze going to the floor as it so often did when she was flustered. She hid her face in her hands, but Kris could still easily see her smile.

“You think so?”

They took her hand in theirs, pulling her in close so she couldn’t avoid looking at them. She was blushing furiously and very obviously trying hard to keep her composure. The pinks of her irises matched her scarf and horns; they never noticed that before. With as much dexterity as they could muster, Kris gingerly placed her glasses back where they belonged. It took a couple blinks before her eyes readjusted. her smile was so sweet. They wanted to hold on to this moment, for just a couple seconds longer. Their head came to rest in the soft crook of her neck.

“I’m running out of time, Ralsei.” 

“H-huh? For wh-...Oh.” 

“I don’t want this to end.” 

“It…Does it have to?” She asked sheepishly. They both knew the answer. She wavered. “I’m sorry, stupid question…”

“I don’t think I can survive for long without the Soul, especially not here.” With some difficulty they made it to their feet, unsteady though they were. Ralsei rushed to offer stability. 

“Will you be okay? Once you have it back in you, I mean. You don’t think it’ll make you…take revenge, right? After you tore it out?” There was a hint of fear in her voice, her eyes locked on the scarf ball in Susie’s bed. This had clearly shaken the princess. 

“It should be fine. I don’t think it wants to hurt us.” A pause. “Well, emotionally, maybe.”

Ralsei offered a short lived chuckle before the grave expression returned to her face.

“Does Susie know?”

“She asked me about it in the sanctuary before running off. I didn’t get to answer. You know what happened next.”

“Yeah…” She shifted their weight slightly. Kris could tell they were just a bit too heavy for the princess, but were in no position to refuse her aid. “Listen, Kris, I don’t want to keep any secrets from her . Not anymore. But I won’t say anything you aren’t comfortable with sharing. This is your secret. I…have enough I need to tell her .” 

“We have a lot to talk about tomorrow. Together.” 

Kris could see her resolve steel with their words. They hadn’t meant to imply anything when they said that, but it clearly had a positive effect and they didn’t have the heart to take that away from them. They didn’t even know what they meant by ‘Together’, but it felt right. At a very base, selfish level, they wanted to be together with her. 

The pair made their way across the room, neither particularly wanting to reach their destination. Nonetheless, their journey was brief, and Kris had the Soul clasped in a tight two hand grip before long. Ralsei could see it squirm against their hands ever so slightly. What had once been a beacon of light and hope for her now took on a much darker tone. She regarded the thing with apprehension. 

As they did before, Kris held the Soul at arm’s length, ready to relinquish control. Just as they were about to plunge it into their chest, Ralsei caught their arm.

“Wait! Kris, I-...” She blushed sheepishly, closing the distance between the two of them so that their bodies stood pressed together. Blocking the Soul. She took their face in her hands.

“Stay with me? Just for tonight?...Please?” 

Without hesitation, Kris nodded. Ralsei’s face erupted in an ear to ear smile as she threw her arms over their shoulders and kissed her knight deeply, holding them in a close, warm embrace. Whatever came next, they would face it. Together.