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Red’s massive paws settled onto the hanger floor with a clank, smoke trailing from her mouth after firing lava blasts nearly nonstop. Keith yanked off his helmet and dropped it carelessly. He could feel Red’s exhaustion in his mind, and sighed heavily as the murmuring voices of his teammates echoed in the quiet cockpit through the radio.
Even though they were no longer in combat Keith’s blood was still rushing hot and frantic, heartbeat pounding in his ears like a drum that could no longer be silenced. This had been their second battle in the past 24 hours--tenth in the past week--and Keith was beginning to forget what a life without fighting was like.
Lately there hadn’t been much time to wind down in between battles, even if Keith didn’t take much longer to do so then the others, and he hated it. Sure, his hot-bloodedness was useful in battle, but he hated the long process of draining the fear, anger, and pure survival instinct from his veins afterward.
The others knew this and tried to help in any way they could, but this string of fights had kept him tense for days with no time to recover. For at least a week he had been unable to let his guard down, much less sleep properly; always sitting on a hair trigger and ready to fight at a second’s notice.
Keith’s eyes glazed over and he blinked, unsure how much time had actually passed since he landed. Through the display he could see the other paladins walking around in the hangar, and his heart tripped over itself.
…“to your lions...drones moving...split up!...fire-”
Keith shook his head harshly and grabbed his hair, grunting in frustration as he forced the encroaching memories out of his mind. His hands shook, and for a second he allowed himself to give in to weakness, slumping forward so his upper body rested on Red’s dashboard. The unyielding shapes of his armor prevented it from being comfortable, but the cool metal soothed the burning skin of his exposed cheek.
His eyes slipped closed, and immediately he was assaulted with a brutal wave - flashes of laser blasts and screams, the violent jolting of his lion in combat, tiny droplets of blood flying off his sword…
“Keith?”
A voice caused his eyes to fly open, and he gasped slightly. He didn’t quite catch who had spoken over the comm, but he supposed it didn’t matter. Swallowing with some difficulty, he opened his mouth to reply.
“Yeah, I’m coming,” he said, forcing his voice to work normally. "Could really use some water.”
He received an acknowledgment, and it was another few seconds before he could lift his head off the dashboard, body slow to obey his mind’s commands. Heaving a breath into his aching lungs, he got to his feet and collected the sharp, rattling edges of his consciousness. He couldn't let his teammates see him like this, they had their own problems to deal with.
Keith’s vision swam as he struggled to remain upright, taking deep, measured breaths to steady himself. Red’s worried rumblings followed him as he forced his legs to move down her open jaw into the hangar, and he patted her absently.
In his peripheral vision he caught a glimpse of green and quickly turned his head. Pidge was trying to clean some soot off her lion’s flank, her hair a small bush on her head from it’s extended time under the helmet.
The instant he spotted her, Keith’s breath caught and his fingers twitched for his bayard. His mind reeled with the images of her being grabbed by two Galras, purple blade at her throat, before she had tasered them with the help of Shiro. Keith glanced around for signs of danger before walking towards her, every muscle poised and ready to defend. Was she really alright? When it had happened she had cried out at first, terrified, before snapping into action like the soldier she was.
When he reached Green’s looming flank Pidge looked over at him, and the tired lines of her face softened a little. Her mouth moved but Keith heard nothing, unconsciously leaning on the lion for support. The metal surface was cold and the air smelled faintly of smoke. Keith’s every nerve was on fire.
He studied Pidge carefully, noticing she had a few scratches on her face, but nothing that indicated she was seriously injured. Keith saw double, then red, and he blinked rapidly in annoyance. When his vision cleared he realized one of his hands was cradling Pidge’s face, the tips of his fingers embedded in her sweaty hair.
“Keith?” Pidge was asking, a look of worry and confusion on her face, and Keith jerked away, surprised.
“S-sorry,” he muttered, pushing himself off Green's paneling. Pidge frowned, reaching out to him, but he had already turned and left, moving at a fast clip out of the hangar.
“Hey wait!” she called after him, “You’re-”
Whatever she was going to say was unable to reach him as he entered the hallway, door closing behind him. To his disgust he was trembling slightly, and he clenched his fists in attempt to stop it.
What is wrong with me? he wondered. He felt so...out of it, glitching like a faulty computer as the world swirled around him, and the urge to fight fight fight pulsed through his body. Concentrated on pulling himself together, he didn’t watch where he was going and bumped into Hunk around a corner.
The bigger boy clasped Keith’s wrist and Keith had a flash of panic (attack, restraint, escape), but dragged his eyes up to focus on the face of his friend. Hunk’s touch was warm and steadying, and his expression was gentle, not bothered in the least by Keith’s staring. After a few long seconds, Keith blinked sluggishly.
“Hey, buddy,” Hunk said, soothing voice wrapping around Keith. “Brought you something to drink.”
Keith looked down at the waterpack offered by the dark hand and accepted it gratefully, feeling a rush of affection at the kindness. It was the first real emotion he had experienced for days.
“Thanks Hunk,” he croaked, and drained it all quickly, cool liquid soothing his parched throat. Hunk smiled warmly and rubbed Keith’s back before continuing on his way, and Keith resumed walking till he reached the control room. Quickly looking around, he spotted the two Alteans inside.
“Is everything alright in here?” he asked, voice sounding breathless to his own ears. Allura turned to him, a look of relief crossing her face as she clasped her hands together.
“Yes! We’re just fine. Good work today, Keith.” She sent him a beaming smile and Coran seconded it with an enthusiastic thumbs up, something he recently learned from Lance.
Keith swallowed hard and nodded in response, ducking out of the room before anything else could be said. Something still crawled under his skin, making him restless and jittery, and his hand ached to be holding his sword again. Immediately he summoned his bayard, breathing deeply at the familiar weight of it in his palm, grounding him.
With each step down the quiet corridor Keith felt more and more overwhelmed. It felt like something was choking him, chasing him down, and before he knew it he was running, propelling himself down the halls and into the training room with a crash. Immediately he flung his back against the wall, breathing heavily with his eyes squeezed shut.
“Begin training level 4,” he called, eyes still closed, and smiled at the familiar sound of the fighting bot landing on its feet. Keith lunged forward with lightning speed, bringing his sword in a wide arch down on the bot. The clang resounded through the room and down to Keith’s bones, making his blood hum again.
The relief was almost dizzying. This he could do. The world narrowed down to the distance his weapon could reach, and time only existed between one strike and the next. The confusion and shakiness was gone, and he could feel again.
Hack, slash, dodge, parry, hit, kill,
Keith rolled under an attacking swing and kicked a leg out from the bot, making it stagger and fall to one knee.
Fight, protect, defend, defenders of the univ-
The bot swung its staff and caught Keith in the side, pulling him off his feet and slamming him bodily into the floor. Keith cried out in pain and his vision went white, chest heaving as he tried to get breath his body couldn’t seem to use. Vaguely he was aware of sounds coming out of his mouth, but was powerless to stop it.
“End training sequence!” a voice screamed.
Keith turned his head towards the sound and saw Lance standing there with a horrified expression on his face. The blue paladin stalked over and grabbed Keith roughly, hauling him across the room and against the wall with a surprising amount of strength. Keith sunk down to the floor and Lance followed without letting go of him.
“What do you think you’re doing!?” Lance cried, and Keith scowled, trying to push the other off and get up.
“What does it look like?” he grunted, “Get off me…”
“No! You are clearly not ok-”
“I’m fine,” Keith snarled, but Lance ignored him and kept right on talking.
“-and there is BLOOD on your armor-”
“It’s not mine-”
“I DON’T CARE WHOSE IT IS!” Lance yelled, face contorted in anger and something else Keith didn't have time to place. “You. Are. Done. We literally just finished a battle and you’re in here fighting again? Pidge said you were bleeding and she was right. Look at you, I don’t know how you’re even standing!” His voice grew higher in pitch as he rambled and Keith just wanted it to stop. He growled weakly and pushed at Lance again, only to have the other boy turn and sit on Keith’s legs, forcing him down while he unhooked the dark-haired boy’s chestplate and ripped it off.
Keith gasped when the weight of it lifted off him for the first time in...how long? He couldn’t remember anything anymore, all he could feel was blank panic as the armor slid across the floor, leaving him exposed and vulnerable. Lance turned and rested his own back against the wall, moving Keith with him so the other boy was sprawled on top of him. Keith reached out wildly for his armor, but it was too far away, and now Lance was clutching him to his chest, murmuring softly.
“Shh, shh. Keith, it’s ok, it’s ok,” he was saying, but Keith still struggled.
“Nooo!” he cried weakly, and tried to push away from Lance, his mind a fractured mantra of I need that, there’ll be another battle, I have to fight, you don’t understand…
“Keith!” Lance voice broke near his ear, cut of by a choked noise that sounded painful. His arms were locked around Keith in a vice grip, clearly realizing the red paladin was still in full-on battle mode. The sound of footsteps passed by the door and Lance head snapped up.
“Shiro!” he cried, “Shiro help me!”
The footsteps grew louder and suddenly Shiro was there, moving Keith slightly so he could see his face. Keith’s vision was blurry and his breaths audible, but Shiro’s hands holding his head were warm-- so warm--and something in Keith’s chest cracked.
Shiro rested his forehead against Keith’s, giving him no option but to look him in the eye.
“Relax, Keith,” he soothed, a sad sort of fondness in his grey eyes. “It’s alright, I promise. There’ll be no more battles for a while.”
“You don’t know that!” Keith snapped, but Shiro didn’t flinch.
“Yes I do. Allura opened a wormhole and we’re in a peaceful part of the galaxy. We’re safe, we all get a rest.” He clutched Keith’s head a little tighter between his hands. “No more battles, not for a long while.”
Keith began to shake again, and Shiro engulfed him in his arms, gently sliding Keith off Lance’s lap and onto his own. Keith dropped his head on Shiro’s shoulder and buried his face in the soft fabric, belatedly realizing there were tears streaming down his face. His teeth chattered and he shook harder as the adrenaline began to wear off, giving him the sensation of falling off a cliff. Suddenly terrified, he clutched Shiro’s vest.
“W-what’s happening to me?” he stammered, “Why-” He broke off on a sob and Shiro ran a comforting hand through his hair.
“It’s alright, just give it time. You’ll be ok,” he whispered, continuing his soothing ministrations as Lance carefully removed the rest of Keith’s armor.
Keith continued to cry from an onslaught of emotions he didn’t understand as the three of them sat, waiting for Keith’s body to wear itself out in Shiro arms. After what seemed like forever to Keith, it finally did, leaving him feeling raw and hollow, with barely enough strength to lift a finger.
Slowly emerging from the haze, Keith realized that Lance was humming a soft tune, rubbing his back in a steady pattern while Shiro was rocking Keith gently, arms and legs wrapped around the red paladin like a koala.
Keith’s heartbeat gradually returned to normal but he was too exhausted to even look up when the sound of more footsteps came through the door. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, unable to do anything other than trust his teammates to protect him. As if sensing this, Shiro squeezed him tighter and tucked his face in Keith’s neck.
“Hey." Hunk’s warm voice echoed in the silent room, dripping with concern. “Is Keith alright? We...we were worried.” There was a shuffling and Keith felt the presence of the two remaining paladins settle next to them.
“He’ll be alright,” Shiro promised gently, deep voice rumbling through Keith as he spoke. Thin fingers brushed through Keith’s matted hair, and his eyes fluttered open just in time to see Pidge press a light kiss to his forehead.
“How about we all get cleaned up and get some rest?” he heard Hunk suggest, and Shiro hummed in agreement, carefully scooping up Keith in his arms as he stood.
“Can we have a sleepover in the common room tonight?” Lance requested as they started down the hall. He sounded exhausted, and everyone knew sleepovers were the arrangement of choice after a rough day.
“That sounds good,” Shiro replied. "Is that alright with you, Keith?”
Keith nodded, relief flooding him at the knowledge that he wouldn’t have to sleep alone.
“You’re doing great buddy." Hunk’s voice came from somewhere to Keith’s left as a broad hand rubbed his back. “We’re really proud of you.”
More voices joined in agreement and Keith’s throat grew tight. Breathing in deeply, he relaxed and allowed their care to wash over him.
“Thanks guys,” he whispered. Shiro leaned down to kiss his forehead, and Keith closed his eyes and smiled.