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One day the poison would kill her but not today though, not just yet. Shinobu Kocho was quite sure of it. It was quite simple after all, her body had fused with the wisteria, making it part of her nails, skin, organs, even down to the tips of her hair. She hissed as she injected another couple ounces of poison into her veins, to let it flow through her blood stream. The sting of the needle against her pale skin was always a satisfying feeling at the end of the day.
She could feel her head go light and woozy, her legs shake as they struggled to hold her up and she could hear the needles clatter on the ground as her hands could no longer hold them. The tips of her fingers were purpling and the rest of her hands had paled into a snow white color. She was sure that at close scrutiny one would also be able to notice the purpled veins which shone with wisteria that traveled across her fingers and arms. She could hear as other objects crashed onto the floor. In her daze, Shinobu could hardly see and could just barely make out the blurred outlines of the objects. Shinobu convulsed, her limbs spasming due to the effects of the poison, her hands shaking violently and then stilling and then they began to shake again. She dropped to the ground, barely even making a thud when she landed, her head resting atop her shaking arms and her legs folded beneath her. This had already happened countless of times before when she had poisoned herself. It was almost muscle memory to let her body fall lax and plummet to the floor whenever she heard the familiar click of the syringe.
At that moment, Shinobu's body was of no use, a mere puppet to the poison that coursed all throughout her veins. Her body was jerked about, head lolling side to side as she attempted to fight off the numbing effects of the poison. She was desperate for another dose and the effects of the wisteria kept slowing her down. Eventually her movement and resistance stilled because she knew it was futile to fight against the wisteria toxin, her poison. A lot of things were fruitless for Shinbobu Kocho like trying to decapitate a demon, surviving the effects of the poison, being a strong hashira, being someone that people would feel relieved to see, getting revenge. All of these things were impossible for her, and she knew it, down to her very core, her very soul and because of that every part of her was in absolute despair and fury.
Fury and despair intertwined themselves in her soul, mixing, twirling, blending, the lines in between grief and anger, blurring together until they were one. If the strange fusion could be visualized no one could tell the difference. Even Shinobu herself couldn’t, simply mistaking every part of her to be angry, always furious. And then like anger the poison fused with shinobu. Each ounce only became apart of her, mixing into her bloodstream, staining her finger tips, tainting her organs, her heart. Her heart, all that was left of it was anger. Maybe the poison had gathered in such a large quantity it would begin to seep into her bones, her very frame.
It no longer mattered whether or not she wanted to stop her suicidal revenge plan. Even if she wanted to go back, to survive a little longer, to live for her beloved younger sister Kanao and all the butterfly girls, she couldn’t. The poison had become so vital to her she couldn’t live without it. What was she without poison if not an empty husk, a body useless for destroying demons. She couldn’t live without poison, she couldn’t live without Kanae, she couldn’t live without her anger.
Maybe if she wasn’t so sad, so angry, she could’ve lived without her family but how could she move on without her other half. Kanae Kocho who was her other part, the person who could tell what she was feeling without even looking at her. They were sisters bound by blood and Shinobu had failed her and let her die. Her care for her was deeper than the ocean and Kanae was the only person preventing her from falling into the deep end. On the day that Kanae had passed, two butterflies had died, two sisters of kanao. Shinobu thought that she had metamorphosed into something else that day.
It was all that demon’s fault. It tore up kanae’s lungs, leaving her dear older sister unable to even breathe. The pain that Kanae had to go through to speak must’ve been unbearable. Shinobu hated how much agony Kanae had to go through just to beg her to quit the demon slayer corps. She couldn’t quit and the two of them knew it. All Shinobu could do was to get revenge. She had begged to know who it was. It was a demon with a kind smile, shining kaleidoscopic rainbow eyes, a bloodstain atop his head and a pair of golden twin fans. The mere thought of that demon brought her to an all encompassing rage. Even just a brief imagined visage of him would have the same effect. Her normally composed smile would fall away in seconds, veins popping out of her face. Just the thought of him made her blood boil and her skin want to peel off and fall away to reveal her true bitter self.
It made her want to scratch at her skin, rip and tear at herself like she was paper. It was so infuriating, it was all just so infuriating.
Shinobu Kocho knew that she was ugly bitter and resentful. She also knew that everyone else probably felt that way as well and saw her as a centipede or a hornet or some sort of similar creature that disgusted people. Hate hate hate seeped from the poison dripping filling everything and it—
A face too familiar to her peered at her from above. Shinobu Kocho looked into a pair of pink eyes that sparkled with tears.
Kanao Tsuyuri always knew Shinobu was angry.