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Evil Ass Roaring Group Chat Saga

Summary:

Kris Dreemurr. Child of Toriel and Asgore Dreemurr, sibling of Asriel, dear friend of Susie and Ralsei. The cage, with human soul and parts. A hero of the prophecy.

...And also, somebody who is working with the roaring knight. Somebody who has their own agenda.

Here is a collection of their secret messages with their fellow conspirators.

(TLDR: A crack fic. Because this concept is so dumb & funny to me. Enjoy.)

Chapter 1: After the Card Kingdom

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

W.D.GASTER [8:05pm]:

HAS 

THE ANGEL CONNECTED FULLY?

ARE YOU STILL 

EXPERIENCING DISCOMFORT? KRIS?

 

W.D.GASTER [8:09pm]:

KRIS?

 

Dess [8:10pm]:

Ong theyre probably still being controlled atm give them time. 

 

W.D.GASTER [8:11pm]: 

VERY WELL.

 

KrizzyKreme [8:15pm]:

Hey dess. Srry to leave you hanging again I was just eating butterscotch pie 

 

Dess [8:15pm]:

Lmaoooo srsly kris? 

Even after experiencing the first touch of a being far above us all, youre still the same as always. Youre reacting far better than I did.

 

KrizzyKreme [8:15pm]:

Yeh. 

Doesnt mean im not tired asf tho 

Holy shit this angel didnt stop making me move. Think they got OCD or smth

 

W.D.GASTER [8:15pm]: 

DO NOT

SPEAK ABOUT THE ANGEL

THAT WAY.

 

KrizzyKreme [8:16pm]:

Gaster they made me check every single sign in card kingdom

Twice

Ralsei kept looking at me weird bcuz of it. I think susie might notice soon asw 

 

Dess [8:16pm]:

Just play it off as its the way you normally are.

 

KrizzyKreme [8:16pm]:

Yessir thats what I was already trying to do

Its the reason I was so fcking hungry when I got home dess 

Glad mum had the pie ready. Ate it in 2 mins 

Monch monch

 

Dess [8:17pm]:

Wait did u eat the whole thing?

 

KrizzyKreme [8:17pm]:

¬‿¬ 

Mmmmmmmmm

 

Dess [8:17pm]:

Toriels not gonna like that dumbass.

 

KrizzyKreme [8:17pm]:

¬⁔¬

 

W.D.GASTER [8:18pm]: 

STAY FOCUSED

YOU TWO.

DESS REMEMBER WHAT YOU NEEDED

TO TELL THEM?

 

Dess [8:18pm]:

Right right.

Ok kris so Im going to make the next dark fountain in the computer lab. 

Mums already looked into the schedule of it and nobody is scheduled for that room tomorrow. 

Ofc if someone else winds up in there anyways, we’re trusting u to deal with it kris. We can’t plan for everything, but u at least can do damage control. 

 

KrizzyKreme [8:19pm]:

K got it

Anything else I should know

 

normal_npc [8:19pm]:

Gaster, Gaster you should. 

Tell them. About. The manmail?

Already they know the jester. So you should.

 

KrizzyKreme [8:20pm]:

Wtf lol

 

Dess [8:20pm]:

I forgot you were even on here. Why is this guy still on the gc gaster? 

 

W.D.GASTER [8:20pm]: 

HE IS 

NECESSARY.

HE IS

MY PARROT.

 

Dess [8:20pm]:

?????????????

 

W.D.GASTER [8:21pm]: 

TO ANSWER,

KNOWING EVERY ASPECT OF MY INTERFERENCE

IN THE DARK WORLDS 

IS UNNECESSARY FOR KRIS.

 

normal_npc [8:21pm]:

Even. Even if it is attempts less.

I mean.

Less attempts for the angel. When battle with. The manmail.

Already the jester was cost.

I mean.

 

Dess [8:22pm]:

Take ur time.

It’s not as if kris has a timelimit for how long they can be without the angel or anything.

Actually where is the soul kris?

 

KrizzyKreme [8:22pm]:

I dunked it into its cage

 

Dess [8:22pm]:

?

 

KrizzyKreme [8:22pm]:

The actual cage. Not talking about myself

 

normal_npc [8:22pm]:

I mean. Already the jester cost the angel. So many tries.

Why not. Lend a hand for. Helping?

 

KrizzyKreme [8:22pm]:

Wait

Wait are you talking about jevil

Wtf wtf 

How do you know about that?

 

Dess [8:23pm]:

Wait who?

 

KrizzyKreme [8:23pm]:

This jester devil guy who was crazy strong

He knocked me down to 1hp

If ralsei hadnt been with me I wouldve fcking died dess

 

W.D.GASTER [8:23pm]: 

TO ANSWER,

IF MY ANGEL IS AS THEY HAVE ALWAYS BEEN,

THE CHALLENGE IS

ONLY EXCITING FOR THEM.

NOT FRUSTRATING.

AND THEY ARE FAR STRONGER

THAN ANY OF US 

CAN COMPREHEND.

 

KrizzyKreme [8:24pm]:

Doc I obviously cant tell the angel anything when they r in control anyway

And im not going to. If there is something stronger than jevil in the computer lab

Spill now pls 

 

W.D.GASTER [8:24pm]: 

WHY ARE YOU AFRAID KRIS?

NOTHING IN THIS WORLD COMES

EVEN REMOTELY CLOSE 

TO THE STRENGTH OF THE ANGEL.

WHEN THEY ARE BOUND TO YOU,

IN A WAY,

YOU BECOME THE SAFEST PERSON IN OUR WORLD.

 

KrizzyKreme [8:25pm]:

Press x to doubt

I kept losing health bcuz they wouldnt move fast enough past the scissor dancers

We also nearly lost against this checker piece with massive legs

It stomped all over me 

 

Dess [8:25pm]:

Did u enjoy it?

 

KrizzyKreme [8:25pm]:

(¬_¬)

Im not like that dess

 

Dess [8:25pm]:

Lmao. Just trying to lighten the mood krismas.

Hope it didn’t hurt too bad?

 

KrizzyKreme [8:26pm]:

Nah its all gd. Ralsei helped

No darkners besides jevil hurt me nearly as much as u nd ur ridiculous wiffle bat used to

 

Dess [8:26pm]:

Er.. Guilty as charged?

…Anyways, are you going to tell us about this darkner or not gaster?

I got stuff to do, attacks to be practicing, swords to be sharpening for tomorrow's dark world.

 

W.D.GASTER [8:26pm]: 

TO ANSWER,

I UNDERSTAND 

WHY MY PARROT MENTIONED HIM.

HE IS DIFFERENT IN THE WAY THE JESTER IS.

HOWEVER,

IN THE END,

THE JESTER WAS ONLY A PRISONER,

AND ALL THAT MAILMAN IS

IS A PUPPET.

 

KrizzyKreme [8:27pm]:

…

I think I get it

I’ll keep an eye out for this guy tmr

 

Dess [8:27pm]:

Ok great. 

I can’t think of anything else I need to tell u kris, I think we r now all on the same page.

Mum already knows ab tmrs plans btw.

 

normal_npc [8:27pm]:

Yes. Yes. On the same all. Page?

I mean.

Same. Page.

 

KrizzyKreme [8:28pm]:

Lol 

Except this guy clearly

Gaster is ur parrot just constantly having a stroke or smth

 

Dess [8:28pm]:

Yes why does he text like that? 

 

W.D.GASTER [8:28pm]: 

MY PARROT 

IS NOT ENTIRELY SEPARATE FROM ME.

THUS,

IT ECHOES MY WILL WHEN I PLEASE.

HOWEVER,

WHEN I LEAVE IT TO BE SEPARATE,

THIS DEPENDENCY ON ME CAUSES IT TO STRUGGLE

IN ITS FORMATION OF INDEPENDENT SENTENCES.

 

KrizzyKreme [8:29pm]:

So thats why he knows ab jevil. He knows what you know

 

W.D.GASTER [8:29pm]: 

NOT EVERYTHING,

BUT YES,

THAT IS THE GENERAL PRINCIPLE.

 

KrizzyKreme [8:29pm]:

K 

 

Dess [8:29pm]:

Isnt that basically brainwashing though?

 

KrizzyKreme [8:30pm]:

Dess just stop thinking about shit when it comes to gaster

Besides ur 1 to talk

Youve been brainwashed by the darkness for years dess

 

Dess [8:30pm]:

No.

No I havent.

Shut the fuck up kris Im exactly where I want to be. 

Not brainwashed.

 

KrizzyKreme [8:30pm]:

…

Thats exactly what someone whos been brainwashed by the darkness would say 

 

Dess [8:30pm]:

Fck off, kris. 

Youre starting to sound like my mother now.

Peacing out now

 

KrizzyKreme [8:31pm]:

Byyyyyyyyeeeeeeeee

 

normal_npc [8:31pm]:

Merry December, december.

Wait.

Merry. Krismas.

Wait.

Merry good tidings, december.

 

KrizzyKreme [8:32pm]:

Its ‘goodbye’ man

 

normal_npc [8:32pm]:

Good. Man. December.

 

KrizzyKreme [8:32pm]:

Close enough

Heading back 2 bed nw aswell

Goodnight gaster and gasters parrot

 

W.D.GASTER [8:33pm]: 

IT IS NOT NIGHT WHERE I AM,

AND NEITHER IS IT DAY,

BUT I UNDERSTAND YOUR SENTIMENT

AND ACCEPT IT REGARDLESS.

I HOPE 

YOU SUFFER NO NIGHTMARES

KRIS.

 

normal_npc [8:33pm]:

Good. Man. Krizzy.

Wait.

Gaster. Gaster.

Is that right?

 

normal_npc [8:35pm]:

Gaster?

 

W.D.GASTER [8:36pm]: 

PUT DOWN THE PHONE

OR I WILL CONFISCATE IT FROM YOU.

 

normal_npc [8:36pm]:

Very. Well.

 

FRIEND [10:33pm]:

Meow. 

 

Carol Holiday [11:26pm]:

May I remind you all that this group chat should only be used for arranging plans. Nothing more.

Do not clutter it with unnecessary nonsense or else I will start deleting messages.

I already deal with enough people blathering on at my workplace, I do not want to return home and be forced to deal with it in this group chat as well.

I am mostly talking to you. December.

 

Dess [11:28pm]:

Wtf mum kris was texting just as much as I was??

 

Carol Holiday [11:28pm]:

Ha. I knew you had not actually gone to bed in the shelter. Also, no, they weren’t.

 

Dess [11:28pm]:

?????????????

 

Carol Holiday [11:28pm]:

Do not take that tone with me, young lady.

Also, stop swearing, for fuck’s sake. It is uncouth for a Holiday.

 

Dess [11:28pm]:

?????????????

…

U know what?

Fck this

Ttyl mum

 

Carol Holiday [11:29pm]:

Oh, what did I just say December?

No. Swearing.

But also.

Goodnight.

 

Notes:

Now I know, realistically speaking, a group chat with all these characters probably doesn't exist.
All we know is Kris is in communication with Carol and maybe the Knight (?).
...However, despite this knowledge, the power of the roaring group chat continues to shine in my heart.