Work Text:
October 10, 2005
Sabah: Hello, I'm Sabah. I noticed that you speak Arabic? I have not met anyone else here who does.
Ellen: oh you saw that lol. yeah a bunch of these girls are literally illiterate and benefit from seeing someone who is actually giving herself a comprehensive education.
Ellen: "STEM Sisterhood" my ass. most of these losers will be lucky to graduate high school nevermind get into a serious engineering program.
Sabah: Yes, maybe. Could we switch to Arabic? I'm much better in that language.
Ellen: Yeah sure. English second language?
Sabah: Thank you so much. Yeah, my family's from Basra. We immigrated a year and a half ago and I didn't know any English when we got here. I'm still learning.
Sabah: I'm much better at it now but truthfully I've been using English all day at school and on the forum, and it gets exhausting. It's such a relief to be able to talk to someone in Arabic.
Ellen: Yeah I get you. I'm Boston born and raised but I'm a genius with languages. Got English, Japanese, Mandarin, Arabic, Latin, and I was going to do French but it clashed with my college dual enrollment. Most girls here have barely done a few years of Spanish.
Sabah: Well, your Arabic is quite good!
Ellen: I know. Your English is pretty good too.
Sabah: Thank you! Some of the others don't seem to agree.
Ellen: They're genuinely morons. Cliquey schoolgirl morons. Did you see what Britney said about my robotics project? She has the programming acumen of a braindead trilobite. I won the gold medal.
Ellen: I hate this stupid profanity filter. What are we, five?
Sabah: I try not to speak ill of anyone, but I agree the cliques are very toxic. I really only stay in the group for the scholarship information.
Sabah: And your robotics project looked brilliant! I had actually wanted to ask you about it, before that argument took over the thread.
Ellen: See, you actually have a brain! It's a miracle. I thought I was the only one.
Ellen: Okay, let me tell you about robotics.
May 2, 2006
Ellen: Hey it was cool meeting in person.
Ellen: Sorry about that bullshit with my mom she's so annoying
Sabah: It's alright, I just didn't expect all the questions.
Ellen: I know she's so fucking obnoxious about it
Ellen: mom is so "liberal" but shes sooo fucking WASPy dude
Ellen: constant passive-aggressive questioning abt do I really want to date a woman, don't I think it's too dangerous, why can't I just keep it quieter if people are being dicks
Ellen: she's just trying to get under your skin you just have to ignore her. i meet one person whos actually smart and she has to make everything so weird
Sabah: It wasn't so bad. I just wish you didn't have to deal with it.
Sabah: I think I got on her bad side by trying to pull you away lol
Sabah: I was just hoping to see more of the campus without our parents hovering.
Ellen: literally we're not kids anymore
Ellen: you figure 99% of everyone everywhere is an idiot I'd rather spend my time with you than our parents or the ppl already at the school
Ellen: Okay what's still on the list? You haven't been to Harvard yet, right? Let's just fucking drive up there on our own next time.
Sabah: My parents might want to go but I'll ask them about it. I wouldn't mind doing a visit on our own.
Sabah: The campus was very beautiful, don't you think?
Ellen: I mean it's Brown lol
Ellen: It works as a safety school.
April 25, 2007
Sabah: I'm sorry I haven't texted.
Ellen: oh my god where the fuck have you been?
Ellen: you can't just drop off the grid for two weeks out of nowhere what the fuck??? I thought you fucking died or something you're never quiet that long
Ellen: bitch we have to decide on a college like fucking YESTERDAY and you give me total fucking radio silence?? what the fuck is wrong with you???
Sabah: I didn't get in.
Ellen: what do you mean?? didn't get in where???
Ellen: pick up the phone dude
Sabah: I didn't get into any of our schools.
Ellen: what are you talking about
Ellen: pick up the phone
April 30, 2007
Sabah: Tomorrow's the day I guess. You never said, which school did you settle on?
Ellen: i'm still deciding.
December 4, 2007
Ellen: We're going to MIT for PhDs.
Sabah: What about Harvard?
Ellen: Alright Harvard too
Ellen: anywhere but fucking bumfuck Ithaca jfc
Ellen: everyones white and rich as hell and thinks they're far left if they dont call you a slur when they ask where you "summered"
Ellen: these fucking morons and pigs and all their bullshit I'm just trying to do my fucking lab
Ellen: none of the profs give a shit about your actual brain worthless fucking bastards
Ellen: if i was some brainless rich legacy fuck I'd be coasting through, instead i'm fucking perfect and it doesn't fucking matter to any of these piece of shit freaks
Sabah: What happened?? Are you okay??
Ellen: tf you mean am I okay? Of course I'm okay I'm fucking fine
Ellen: I'm not a crybaby
Ellen: And you don't have to get on my dick just bc I complain about this stupid bumfuck town jesus christ
Ellen: I thought you were cool
Ellen: can you just give me some fucking space?
Sabah: All I did was ask
December 19, 2007
Ellen: yo, just finished acing my finals
Ellen: took care of everything no problem. no one's fucking with me, I showed them all. never gonna have to deal with this shit again.
Ellen: are you still mad? can we just move on already?
Sabah: I don't like when you get like that.
Ellen: I said I'm sorry.
Sabah: But are you going to do it again?
Ellen: Next time I'm pissed I'll find some idiot to take it out on instead of you, okay?
Sabah: fine.
October 12, 2008
Sabah: "Thanks for being there. It means a lot."
Ellen: "Yeah, it's no problem. Sucks I couldn't get time off. Would've rather stayed with you a while than go back to the idiots here."
Sabah: "It's okay. It was good to have someone there."
Sabah: "It still doesn't feel real."
Sabah: "Sorry. I'm okay."
Ellen: "You're strong. You'll get through it."
Sabah: "Mm."
Sabah: "Am I keeping you up?"
Ellen: "Nah, I'm good. I function better on two hours of sleep than most people do on eight."
Sabah: "You do not."
Ellen: "Watch me."
October 18, 2008
Sabah: how do you always know exactly what you want?
Ellen: Everyone always knows exactly what they want.
October 22, 2008
Sabah: "Still there?"
Ellen: "Yeah. But - come on, you don't mean it."
Ellen: "We worked so hard for this. We have plans. You can't give that up just because of some guy."
Ellen: "Every program has idiots like this. They're always going to come after us and push us out when we don't bow down to them. You can't give up. You can't let them win."
Sabah: "It's not because of him. I just need a change. I need a big change. And this feels right. I feel like I'm finding a purpose. One that fits me better, this time."
Ellen: "You already have a purpose."
Sabah: "I don't think I do. Not yet."
Sabah: "You always knew exactly what you were doing, and I'm just... not like that. I wish I was. I want to be. Everything I'm doing, it's because I want to find that fire. Like you have. Like everyone has."
Ellen: "But you do have it! You already have it!"
Ellen: "Look, I get it, okay? Fuckers tried the same shit with me last year, but I got through it! I dealt with it, I showed him never to mess with me again, and now I'm free and I'm top of the program and I'll just never take his classes again! You can get past this! In a year it won't matter at all!"
Sabah: "This happened to you?"
Sabah: "Wait, 'his classes'? It was a professor?"
Ellen: "Oh my god don't make a big deal out of -"
Sabah: "Why didn't you tell me? Did you file a complaint? Did you -"
Ellen: "Give it a fucking rest! Yeah, it's taken care of, he's gone, he's fired, I kicked his ass, will you just -"
Sabah: "But you just said -"
Ellen: "The fucking point is I'd never let these worthless stupid pigs push me out and you can't either! You have to fight! You have to stick with it! You can't fucking give up!"
Sabah: "Ellen, I -"
Ellen: "You're an engineer. We're engineers. We're going to Harvard or MIT and -"
Sabah: "But I don't want to."
Sabah: "Not for engineering."
Ellen: "I - Jesus fucking Christ, I have to go, I - fucking idiots need me for the lab, I'll call you back."
Sabah: "Ellen -"
Ellen: (click)
October 23, 2008
Sabah: can we talk about this?
Sabah: and can we talk about what you mentioned, what happened to you?
Ellen: girl nothing happened to me, stop freaking out about it.
Ellen: besides I thought you were still deciding on what to do
Sabah: I feel pretty certain.
October 26, 2008
Ellen: will you stop giving me the silent treatment?
Sabah: ???
Sabah: you're the one who didn't text ME
Ellen: ok.
Sabah: Ellen can we please talk about this??
October 31, 2008
Ellen: Hey I found this conference in February, there's gonna be a shitload of STEM undergrads there
Ellen: it's focused on women. no creepy guys. I'll be there with you. We can just check it out
Ellen: look if you still want to do fashion after that then okay you just have to at least give this one more try
Ellen: You love this stuff. Look at the list of aerospace presenters you'll love this
Ellen: Come on don't ignore me. You love engineering you just need a chance to get away from those idiots and remember it.
Sabah: Ellen, I've made my decision. I told you I've made my decision. I am not waiting to change majors because then I will not be able to register for Spring and besides that I know you are just going to keep making up one more thing I "have" to do before I can move on. I can't do it. I really think fashion will make me happy and I can't put off my life for other people anymore.
Sabah: And the part that really hurts is that you were the first person I wanted to tell after my mom. I put it off because I knew you would react like this. I really wanted you to be happy for me and I knew you wouldn't be. You can't do this. You can't push me to do what you want and then dodge my texts when I try to share my side. We're supposed to be friends. You can't act like you own me.
Ellen: Girl I'm not, I'm sorry you felt that way but wtf you can't put that on me??? I am literally your biggest fucking supporter and everything I'm doing is to make sure you can be happy and to help you study what you want without having to deal with these fucking creeps at school! I am on your fucking side here! How tf did this become about ME "acting like I own you"??? I am literally HELPING you. I AM happy for you I'm sorry if you didn't feel it but I'm always happy for you when you're happy, I'm just trying to HELP you be happy.
Sabah: I can't do this with you.
November 10, 2008
Ellen: hey
Sabah: Hey.
November 19, 2008
Sabah: hey
Ellen: hey
November 22, 2008
Ellen: look, if you're serious about this, I'm looking into your options just so you can make an informed decision
Ellen: I can't really find fashion graduate programs at the Ivys
Ellen: how do you feel about History of Art or something like that though
Ellen: could make a big impact bringing like Iraqi culture and traditional arts into fashion, I know you like all that "starting a conversation" "spreading awareness" political shit
Ellen: Harvard's got a few profs focused on Islamic art and architecture, one of them does a lot w Iraqi history it looks like. and there's one focused on the Timurids but ig that's Iran? still could be a solid choice
Ellen: Stanford art history and practice looks pretty good too. they've got some fashion faculty
Ellen: I'll send you my research, you want to start networking w these ppl proactively and shit
Sabah: Thank you.
Ellen: if you want to do it then do it. fuck what everyone else thinks
Sabah: Yeah.
December 31, 2008
Ellen: "Since when are you such a cynical drunk?"
Sabah: "No, really! Romance is a plague. Think about - how many times do you see a romance and the woman shows love by saying - all husky and devoted - 'I am yours'."
Ellen: (clattering sounds) "Oh, fuck, knocked over my beer."
Sabah: "And it's dystopian! It's so - and 'I am yours and you are mine'? That's just double dystopian!"
Ellen: "It's unfeminist."
Sabah: "Exactly! I - why do I have to give up control for love? Why can't I have love and control?"
Ellen: "Just get into BDSM."
Sabah: (coughing, sputtering)
Ellen: "You're so fucking right though. Like, can you imagine dating some possessive asshole and then she's like, 'ooh, who are you texting, why are you always talking to her, why do you have fucking friends outside of me'?"
Sabah: "That's exactly what I'm saying! It's - romance is totalitarian!"
Ellen: "Yeah! It's the fucking - it's the fucking - the fucking nuclear family. The picket fence cage. Like you're not allowed to have friends."
Sabah: "Right! You get out of college, you're finally free to live with whoever you want, and the next thing you're supposed to do is, what, get married? Seal yourself into one relationship for the rest of your life? While you're just getting started?"
Ellen: "Right! Right! It's stupid."
Sabah: "Like I've known you longer than I would any future hypothetical partner. But before I'm thirty I'm supposed to find someone totally new and just - that's it? Forever?"
Ellen: "Literally! Literally! God. Yeah!"
Sabah: "Romance is totalitarian."
Ellen: "It's so totalitarian. It's literally totalitarian. They want to control everything. And half of them want to put you out of work and own everything too. You work your ass off and then settle down with someone who hates seeing you succeed instead of someone who helped you do it? Like, fuck off with that possessive shit. Jesus."
Sabah: "Exactly!"
Sabah: "...You would be possessive, though."
Ellen: "The fuck? I would not."
Ellen: "Okay, I wouldn't be a dick about it, though."
Ellen: "Seriously. Of course I want my partner to be independent. They're allowed to have friends just like I am. They need to be as successful as I am. Otherwise they'll always try to shoot me down."
Sabah: "Yeah, I get that."
Ellen: "That's why college hookups are only good for sex. Nobody's accomplished enough yet so they're all gonna be jealous of me."
Sabah: "You can admire someone without being jealous."
Sabah: "Oh hey, ball's dropping!"
January 1, 2009
Sabah: "Happy New Year."
Ellen: "Congrats on staying relatively stationary on a rotating body for n+1 elliptical revolutions."
Sabah: "The New Year's Kiss montage..."
Ellen: "Romance is a PLAGUE!"
Both: (drunken giggling)
January 5, 2009
Ellen: Hey I've been thinking about what you said about exploring and shit, and I'm gonna do a double major in Linguistics.
Ellen: I'm a fucking genius with languages, I like translating, and I just need my diploma to acknowledge it. I love engineering, I'm obviously the best in the program, but I'm adding linguistics. And it's good for international business and shit anyways.
Sabah: That's amazing! I'm really happy for you!
Sabah: An Ivy League double major sounds incredible. I don't know how you do it.
Ellen: yeah it's bc im smarter than god
Sabah: How many courses are required?
Ellen: not that much. The ancillary reqs are covered by my programming classes. It's just 10 classes plus the honors thesis. no way I'm half-assing it without the thesis
Sabah: You're adding 10 more classes? How many do you still need for engineering?
Sabah: Are you doing a thesis for each major?
Ellen: Yeah it's gonna be awesome
Ellen: I don't need that many for engineering it's just a few
Ellen: look I already planned it all out, it's gonna work. you know how good I am at languages. I love this shit. new ways to think, new words for things that weren't things until I found the words for them, new logic, new paradigms, all of it
Ellen: You know how you always say Arabic poetry is better than English? I love shit like that
Ellen: Every time I see anything worth a damn I want to know the language that would make the best poetry about it. You get me? Each new language makes me more of myself.
Ellen: Since I met you sometimes I dream in Arabic.
Ellen: that's what I want.
Ellen: Hey, you there?
Sabah: I am!! sorry!
Sabah: I haven't seen you this excited in ages. I just really like it
Sabah: I mean I'm really glad for you, I really like hearing it.
Sabah: I'm just really glad for you.
Ellen: alright don't get corny
Ellen: thanks
January 5, 2009
Sabah: Hey, sorry to text so late at night. I just had a stray thought.
Sabah: Do you think it might be possible for me to learn Japanese?
Sabah: I think my English is fine now, but I'd like to keep learning if I can. Do you think I could learn Japanese too, realistically?
Ellen: Yeah I think so. I can teach you.
Ellen: always smart to use your network and all
April 22, 2010
Sabah: Hey, I am so sorry I missed our call, I got held up with friends again.
Ellen: oh, it's fine lol
Ellen: how's Devi?
Sabah: she's good! I'm honestly so glad I have a roommate now
Sabah: But are you still free tonight? I'm really sorry I'm late.
Ellen: actually some of my friends want to do something too, so i can't make it. gotta work hard play hard and shit
Sabah: Oh, okay. I hope you enjoy! What are you doing? Can we call tomorrow instead?
Ellen: it's saturday tomorrow, you have your club
Sabah: oh, no, I think they cancelled tomorrow, so I'm free! If you'd like?
Ellen: yeah I think I can fit it in, sure
January 15, 2011
Sabah: I can't believe this is it. We're almost finished.
Ellen: just have to survive this semester and we're done.
Ellen: top of the class, 30 under 30 lists, six figure salaries, fully funded phds, no more fucking Ithaca
Sabah: You probably know your stuff better than your professors by now, anyways.
Ellen: literally. I literally do. I literally fucking do
Ellen: you probably do too.
Sabah: Corny.
Ellen: the fuck???
Sabah: Lmao
Sabah: It's just one more semester.
Sabah: Do you have your schedule yet? I'm sending mine.
Ellen: yeah, sending now
Ellen: fashion events looks cool, gotta get your designs out in front of people
Sabah: Yes, I'm looking forward to it! I wanted to take it last semester but couldn't fit it in.
Sabah: I've done some work with fashion-related shows and enjoyed it. I think it could be a major part of a future business, maybe.
Ellen: awesome, that's good experience
Sabah: Thank you!
Sabah: Wow you have a lot of credits. Both your theses and then this other one 2620? Electronic Materials II?
Ellen: yeah it's just this stupid sophomore class, it shouldn't even be required
Ellen: i've just been putting it off.
March 4, 2011
Ellen: Why, because your perfect roommate says so?
Sabah: What does Devi have to do with this???
Ellen: as if she isn't constantly bitching abt me lol
Ellen: She fucking hates me and shes constantly trying to turn you against me
Sabah: she is not???
Sabah: she's angry at you because I am! Because you always do this! Every time you have a bad day I'M the one you take it out on!
Ellen: I said I'm sorry
Sabah: you ALWAYS say you're sorry
Sabah: and i wouldn't complain if it was just one time. you have a bad day, fine. i know you're dealing with all kinds of bullshit
Sabah: but it's not one time. it's every time. and it's always when I'm trying to be here for you too. i always become the punching bag.
Sabah: and you know what really hurts? i know you actually can be nice when you want to be. you fucking hate it there and you hate your teachers and you hate the people you study with and you go out and do all your networking anyways. and you're funny and charming and smart and perfect for all of them
Sabah: and then I get the real you and the real you wants to hurt someone.
Sabah: and I always take it and I always forgive you and you know that those assholes wouldn't. you couldn't get away with this with them
Sabah: so how is that fair?
Sabah: because I'm here for you, I get the worst of you?
Sabah: why doesn't it hurt you to hurt me?
Sabah: why can't you treat me better than a stranger instead of worse?
Ellen: But you are better than a stranger
Ellen: I don't give a shit about any of them
Ellen: it's supposed to be us against the world, remember?
Sabah: so why do you treat me like the enemy??
Sabah: I WANT to be here for you and you throw it back in my face every time
Ellen: I messed up
Sabah: then stop messing up!!
Sabah: you figure everything else out! you get everything else right! whenever something's important you always do it perfectly.
Sabah: I'm the one thing in your life that's not important enough to get right.
Sabah: Don't you dare leave me on read right now. I know you saw that text.
Sabah: Ellen I swear to god.
March 4, 2011
Ellen: I didn't mean to go quiet. I'm sick. Passed out a second. Wasn't on purpose
Ellen: You're right. I'm going to fix things. I'm going to treat you better. I'm going to deal with the actual problems.
Ellen: I'm going to take care of it.
March 10, 2011
Sabah: "- and then she goes on this whole speech about 'it's not appropriation if -'"
Ellen: (clattering) "Shit."
Sabah: "Am I boring you?"
Ellen: "No, I - I'm just working while we talk. Keep going."
Sabah: "What are you working on? Is this for your thesis?"
Ellen: "New project. Just a side thing."
Sabah: "I can leave you to it."
Ellen: "No, seriously, I want to hear. She sounds like a fucking bitch."
Ellen: "You used to tell me all the stories about everyone in your classes."
Sabah: "I still tell you everything."
Sabah: "You used to tell me about all your projects."
Ellen: "I still do."
Ellen: "Do you ever think about - sometimes I just - I just work on this shit, and I think about things. Like how problems can be solved. Like I know I can do more. I should have planned to graduate early. Fucking double major. I should've been in grad school by now. I can build shit no one else can even fucking comprehend, and they don't even appreciate the shit they do comprehend, and everything's just so - it's so fucking broken, and stupid, and like - do you ever just think like, how much of your work is still going to be here in a hundred years? Like I'm never going to fucking die. I'm going to hit longevity escape velocity in my lifetime and live forever. But when I pass a hundred years how much of my work is still gonna be here? Who's gonna remember it? And you know if I graduated early and made six figures I would've bought property by now. We could have a house in Cambridge and summer in, I don't fucking know, Lake George. Lot of people like Lake George. And you'd read your Arabic poetry."
Ellen: "And that's been around a lot longer than a hundred years."
Ellen: "You know what I mean?"
Sabah: "We're still going to do all that."
Ellen: "Yeah."
Sabah: "But I think I know what you mean, kind of."
Ellen: "Yeah."
Sabah: "When are we going to talk about what's happening with you?"
Ellen: "Nothing's happening."
Sabah: "I want to be here for you."
Sabah: "I wouldn't have gotten angry in the first place if I didn't care."
Ellen: "It's fine. I'm serious. Look, I'm not angry, I'm not snapping at you, I - like, I'm doing everything. I'm doing it. I'm doing better. Everything's fine."
Sabah: "I'm not criticizing you, I appreciate it, I just -"
Ellen: "I'll tell you later."
Sabah: "You will?"
Ellen: "Yeah. When the time's right."
Sabah: "When will that be?"
Ellen: "I gotta take care of it first."
Sabah: "I just don't want you to have to do everything alone."
Sabah: "I - this is stupid, and you'll laugh, but sometimes you go so hot and cold, and things change so fast, and you're dealing with so much, and I've been getting worried about you."
Ellen: "I said I'm - look, it's going to be fine. You don't have to worry. I'll talk it out with you soon. Once things settle down."
Sabah: "Okay. If that's what you need."
Sabah: "I wish all the time that we got into the same school."
Ellen: "Yeah. Me too."
March 15, 2011
Sabah: Ellen are you safe?
Sabah: Ellen please tell me you're not on campus
Sabah: Please please be okay
Sabah: Oh my god this is insane
March 15, 2011
Sabah: maybe you lost your phone
Sabah: please tell me you weren't in the engineering building
Sabah: Ellen please text me
March 15, 2011
Ellen: "Hey, it's me -"
Sabah: "Ellen! Oh, god, I've been terrified, I've been texting all day, I thought you were -"
Ellen: "Yeah, I'm great! Like, fucking sucks, but I'm good! Oh my god it was such a fucking HUGE explosion you had to see it -"
Sabah: "Ellen? Wh-"
Ellen: "Oh I was technically off campus when it went off I mean. I could just see it from the cafe. I told you I had that lunch date today, remember? So I'm fine! I was safe all along, I'm totally fine, don't worry! Sucks that it stressed you out though! Seriously, it's okay! I'm here, I'm totally fine, everyone's totally fine, nobody fucking died 'cause they evacuated everything because the bomber warned them so like it's totally fine, no harm done basically, just everyone fucking pissing themselves and running around like headless fucking chickens, they're so fucking scared -"
Sabah: "Wait, Ellen, slow down, I can barely understand you. Are you safe? Are you hurt?"
Ellen: "God, yes, I'm safe! I knew you'd worry. I'm fine! I'm fine! I'm literally fine, I'm safe, I'm chilling, I've got food and -"
Sabah: "Ellen! Please, stop! Just - are you in shock?"
Ellen: "What? No, of course not! Uh, I mean, maybe? I'm fine!"
Sabah: "Are you in a hospital? I'm coming to see you."
Ellen: "Don't come up here! Holy shit, are you crazy?"
Ellen: "Uh, I'm not snapping at you when I say that. But holy shit. Come on. Stay down there where it's safe. I'll come to you."
Ellen: "Just give me a few days to get things in order."
March 23, 2011
Ellen: Hey it was cool seeing you today.
Ellen: After the adrenaline wore off from all the shit lately I was looking forward to seeing you lol. Been a while.
Sabah: It's been too long. I was so glad you could make it.
Sabah: I needed that hug to know you were real. I think I'll finally be able to sleep again now.
Ellen: alright don't get mushy on me lol
Sabah: It was a week of bombings, Ellen, I'm allowed.
Ellen: Yeah it sucks that it worried you.
Sabah: How long can you stay? Do you have to drive back tomorrow or can we hang out again?
Ellen: I'm actually here for the indefinite future. Got a job. Moved into the new place just today.
Sabah: Wait, what???
Sabah: Today?? How long have you been planning this??
Sabah: What about Cornell? Don't you have to finish out your last semester?
Ellen: It's all handled. They're switching some things to distance learning after the bombings, and all I have left are my theses, so it's all totally okay. I'll still graduate with honors and all. Top of my class. But yeah, I'll be here.
Sabah: Ellen, that's amazing, I just don't understand - you never even told me you were looking for a job here! Or an apartment?? And you didn't think to bring this up an hour ago??
Ellen: What, you don't want me here?
Sabah: Of course I want you here, I'm just shocked!
Ellen: I didn't want to talk about plans in case they didn't work out.
Ellen: But they did, so I'm here.
Ellen: And we didn't have that much time tonight. I wanted to hear about you.
Sabah: I don't know what to say. I'm shocked. But I really am glad you're here.
Sabah: I think it would be really nice to see you more. I have so much I need to figure out.
Ellen: Got to settle some things. I probably won't be able to hang out for now. I might be pretty busy for a while. But it'll be smooth sailing once I carve out my place.
Ellen: I always thought this city was too small. Still feels small. I keep comparing it to Boston instead of Ithaca.
Ellen: Feels like there's nothing interesting in this whole town except the two of us.
Sabah: Remember what we said in engineering?
Sabah: A design's only perfect when there's nothing left to take away.
March 29, 2011
Sabah: Okay I don't know what's going on, it's probably nothing and you're going to call me an idiot for blowing up your phone
Sabah: Your roommate called me today.
Sabah: She said a lot of things. A lot of stupid things.
Sabah: Ellen you're the smartest person I know. I was never going to judge you about school. If they did something wrong that's on them. You don't have to hide anything.
Sabah: But apparently I'm the only one who's heard from you since before the bombing? and they're saying a lot of crazy things and I'm just really worried
Sabah: Jen said something about you getting really "manic"
Sabah: It's stupid I know
Sabah: I just know a lot of messed up things have happened this year. It would be hard on anyone. All I care about is making sure you're safe.
Sabah: I know you and I know you don't want to have this conversation but we need to. I swear I don't care about school, I don't care about whatever crazy things Jen thinks, you're still the smartest person I know and everything's going to be fine.
Sabah: Jen's full of shit. This is all probably just some academic bureaucratic hiccup and everything else was just bullshit, I shouldn't have even mentioned it. it's probably basically just an incomplete, you'll still get the degree!
Sabah: I can help you. You've helped me a hundred times with planning and networking and everything else. We can make it work. We'll handle whoever has it out for you and we'll get you back on track. In the end it'll just be a gap semester, like a sabbatical, it won't hurt you.
Sabah: Just call me okay? Or drop by my dorm. It doesn't matter what time you show up, I'll get you in. Or just text me your new address. I'll bring food.
Sabah: I'm going to keep trying until you answer. please just talk to me.
April 2, 2011
Sabah: I just have a lot of worst case scenarios going through my head
Sabah: you'd probably laugh if you heard some of them
April 4, 2011
Sabah: Don't ghost me. I don't deserve this.
April 11, 2011
Sabah: I don't know if you're reading any of these. I'm talking to a wall. I've tried everything. I blow up your phone every day. I've tried all your social media, I've tried your old landlord, I've tried your old supervisors. I've called every engineering firm I can find in Brockton Bay and they probably think I'm a stalker now. I drive by our bar every day just in case you went back.
Sabah: your mom says she talked to the police. she didn't tell me anything else. I don't think they know where you are.
Sabah: I even sent you a PM on the old STEM Sisterhood forum. It says you logged back in there a month ago. I don't know why. But I'm hoping you'll see it soon.
Sabah: It doesn't feel real that you can vanish like this. You can't just drop off the face of the earth. I really should have made you tell me your address the second you moved. From now on you have to. This is so fucked up.
Sabah: You'll probably text me back any day now and just chew me out for bothering you so much.
Sabah: Do you ever think about how young we are? My mom talks about that sometimes. We've still got our lives ahead of us. Even if some things are bad, how much of it will still hurt us in ten years? Or twenty? We can just wake up from this like a bad dream. Everything that happened, anything anyone did, it could just go away. We could share an apartment in Brockton Bay and save up for a holiday where it's warm. You can run a lab and build amazing things and keep teaching me Japanese when you're free.
Sabah: and then we'll find another language. we won't run out.
Sabah: Look, I know you hate corny shit, but you're my best friend.
Sabah: Please call me.
April 12, 2011
Sabah: Ellen?