Work Text:
A feeling of self-consciousness burrowed under your skin as you stared at the newest photo Leo had posted. It was a group photo from last Friday night at 'Run of the Mill'. Everyone looked amazing in all their ninja glory, like they were ready to go kick ass at the drop of a hat. You on the other hand with all your ordinariness stuck out like a sore thumb, comparatively but that's always been the case ever since you met them. No, what got you feeling insecure were your thighs. They were visibly thicker and plumper. Granted, you were sitting in the picture but that didn't stop your brain from nit picking at you.
You spent the next thirty minutes or so, standing in your full length mirror in your bedroom, looking at your thighs. Wearing nothing but an over sized t-shirt and underwear, you thought you looked pretty good but that damn picture kept looping in your mind telling you otherwise.
Unlocking your phone, you go back to Leo's post but instead of zeroing in on your problem area, your eyes locked onto Raph's cute snaggle tooth smile. A dopey lovesick smile bloomed across your face. You've harbored a secret crush on the red cladded ninja ever since he swooped in and saved your ass during the alien invasion. That was twelve years ago and your feelings for him had only grown.
The thought of telling him how you felt had crossed your mind a few times but each time you chickened out. Raph could have anyone he wanted and there was no way you were on that list. Especially now, since that picture showed how unworthy you were to have him.
Letting out a long, deep sigh, you tossed your phone onto the foot of your bed before falling backwards onto the mattress as well. Glancing at your closest, a pair of jeans you hadn't wore for about year was hanging there. Beckoning you to try them on, to prove that you still could fit in them. Sitting up, you plodded over and grabbed the pants rougher than necessary. You attempted to pull them over your thighs but it refused to go any higher. Muttering cuss words under your breath, you continued to struggle until your phone started ringing.
“Oh Shit!” You shouted, as you fell to the floor from turning to quickly.
Shuffling over to your bed, you reached up and blindly searched for your phone. When you fingers grazed it, you grabbed it, rolled onto you back and finally answered.
“Hey?”
“Hi. You okay?” Raph's worried voice oozed through the receiver, making your heart thunder in your chest and your face grow hot. “You've left the group chat unread for a few hours.”
“Y-yeah! I'm good!” You chirp, before trying to pull your pants over your thighs. His voice driving you to try one more time.
“You sure?”
“Yes! I'm just....trying... to get... into some....damn pants!” You hiss through clenched teeth as you struggled. “Fuck! This is stupid!” You yell before giving up entirely, your body went limp against the floor. Tears prickled your eyes, not just from frustration but also embarrassment from losing your shit in front of Raph.
After a long pause on his end, Raph's soft but confident voice brought you gently back from the brink. “Sounds like you could use some one on one Raph time. Want t' meet up at that coffee shop close to your place?”
“That...sounds great.” You softly whisper, a watery smile made it's way to your face. “Meet you in fifteen?”
“Sounds good.” Raph replied in a soft, delicate tone that made goosebumps appear on your arms and legs.
“See you-”
“Wait!” Raph uttered, taking you by surprise. “Ya know, if ya ever...”
Your heart jumped to your throat as you waited for him to continue. “If I ever?”
“N-nothin'! Raph's just over thinkin'.” He nervously chuckled, making your heart fall back to your chest.
“If you say so.” You smile. “Anyways, I'll see you in a few.”
“Yeah. See ya.”
Hanging up, you stared at your ceiling, as the conversation replayed in your head. As hard as you tried, you could not figure out what Raph was going to say. A small, hopeful part of you was hoping that maybe, he was about to confess his love but the rational part of your brain knew that probably wasn't the case.
Groaning, you sat up and kick off the backstabbing jeans. Going to your dresser you looked through your clothes. Grabbing your gray hoodie and gray sweatpants. Looking at your reflection, a hot mess stared back but at least your thighs were hidden. Putting on a fake smile, you hoped that Raph wouldn't see through your mask.
-
“Say the word and that picture will be deleted.” Raph uttered in his serious tone, after you explained everything. You had hoped he wouldn't have seen through your mask but it only took him five seconds after lying eyes on you. And you folded as soon as he inquired what was wrong.
“No but thanks.” You sighed, tracing the rim of your coffee cup. “I just don't know when I let myself go.”
Raph choked on his hot chocolate at your comment, making you jump. Handing him a napkin, he delicately dabbed his mouth before clearing his throat and narrowing his eyes at you. “With all due respect but, WHAT THE HELL ARE YA TALKIN' ABOUT?! You're in great shape!” He bellowed, making half the cafe give him a side eye, not that he gave a damn.
Soaking in his kind but boisterous words, you tried to figure out how to respond. Picking up your cup, you down the lukewarm drink in a matter of seconds before placing it gently back on the table, hoping your face wasn't a blaze and your tongue was untied.
“You're suppose to say that.” You mumbled, giving him a small pitiful smile. “It's part of the best friend pact.”
Raph's worried expression made you squirm in your seat. You gave him your best, 'I'm okay. Let's talk about anything else' smile. “Enough about me. No one told me who won the video game championship two days ago. Which by the way, I'm sorry I had to miss because of work.”
“First off, Donnie won but that's nothing new and second, you are not making this about me.” He responded in his deep, authoritative voice. With that one statement, he completely peeled back the thick layer of armor that you had intricately placed over your personal feelings. Reaching out, he placed a comforting hand on your arm, pulling your eyes to meet his. He was giving you his 'you are not getting out of this' look, before it softened into something more personal. It maked your bottom lip tremble. “Stop deflecting. Your feelings matter and are important. No matter how much you try to undermine them.”
A lone tear trailed down your cheek. Wiping it away with your sleeve, you gave him a small smile and placed your hand over his. “Thanks, Raph.”
A shy, snaggle tooth smile pulled at his lips, making your heart do a little flip. “Hey, no prob. But I swear, you're as bad as Leo when it comes to talkin' about your feelings.”
“Who do you think I learned it from?” You joke, garnering a look from Raph that screamed, 'don't make me pinch you'. “Listen, I know I'm not the best at sharing what I'm feeling but I told you everything that is currently bothering me. I promise.”
“Yeah... I figured.” He mumbled. Raph's seat let out a slight groan in protest as he fully relaxed into the the brown vinyl. As he looked out the window with a thoughtful expression on his face, you realized with true giddiness that his hand hadn't moved and neither had yours. Staring out the window as well, you steal glimpses out of the corner of your eye at how handsome he looked under the dim lighting and at your joined hands. A few minutes later your calm, peaceful corner of the world was broken by Raph's excited voice.
“Raph has an amazing idea!” A huge grin lit up his face.
“No, no. I've already told you, I am not going back to Teddy Bear Town for the next two months. I'm pretty sure I single handily paid for someone's kid's college tuition last time I was there.”
“I wasn't gonna suggest that but that's not a bad idea either!” He boasts, mirth dancing in his dark eyes. “Next time you come to the lair, why don't you work out with me and the guys?”
Your face grew warm from the thought of seeing Raph work out, up close and personal. “I-I don't know if that would be a good idea.” You stutter, pulling your hood up and hunching down in your seat, trying to hide your warm face.
“Why not? And, you okay? You're actin' funny.” Raph commented, making you groan as you pulled on your hoodie's strings, making the hood close around your face until only your nose was left poking out. Not wanting to make things worse, you utter the first thing that came to your mind.
“I don't want to make a complete fool of myself in front of you...and the guys!”You quickly add, popping your face out and looking at Raph in earnest. Hoping you didn't look as pathetic as you felt.
Raph stared at you for a few silent moments before leveling a serious look at you. “If that's what you're worried about, I'll make sure none of them judge you and if they do...well, I'll make sure it doesn't happen again.”
His deep, protective tone sent a shiver down your spine that you were barely able to hide. Pulling your hood down entirely, you tried to act normal despite the fact that you were covered in goosebumps.
“That's sweet of you Raph but I'm still not sure. You and your brothers are trained to kick ass!” You gushed before pulling back into yourself. “The only thing I've ever been trained to do is work fast food and have a customer service voice.”
Raph huffed before taking a small sip from his probably cold, hot chocolate. He let out a long sigh as his hand that hadn't let go of you, lightly squeezed your arm. His sincere eyes glued to yours. “Why not give it a try? You can have the gym all to yourself if that helps.”
As you stared into Raph's big, soft eyes, you felt your feelings growing for him. It was obvious to you that he was trying to help in the only way he knew how, offering you a place to better yourself without judgment. You softly smiled at him and patted his hand.
“I'll definitely need someone to talk to, if I plan on working out.”
A small hopeful, snaggle tooth smile crept across his face. “Is that a yes?”
“Yes, Raph.” You smiled.
“Really!? Great!” He shouted, his booming voice echoed through the coffee shop, causing a few others to jump but he pulled a small laugh from you. “I'll make sure everything is ready by tomorrow!”
Letting out a small lovesick sigh, you pray that your eyes aren't heart shaped.
-
The following day, you go straight to your apartment after work and get into the same hoodie and sweatpants you wore to the coffee shop. As you entered their home, it was strangely quiet and no one was there. Heading towards their gym, you were greeted by an over exuberant Raph.
“Hey! Glad you could make it down!” He grinned, making butterflies flutter in your stomach.
“Thanks.” You smiled shyly. Looking around the gym, you were shocked to see it spotless and everything was put away where it belonged. “Wow! I didn't think this place could look anymore amazing!”
“Nah.” Raph chuckled, waving off your words. “Raph just did a little cleaning.”
“Yeah, whatever you say.” You smirk, feeling a bit more at ease at how normal everything felt.
As Raph finished putting away a few of the heavier weights, you discreetly watch his arms as they flexed with every movement he made. He almost caught you staring when he turned back but you were quick to act like the weight bench you were standing next to was the most interesting thing in the world.
“Do ya wanna try lifting weights?”
You jumped at his question as you turned to him, completely flustered. “Maybe! I'm not sure! What do you think I should do first? You're the expert!”
A soft smile graced Raph's face, making your pulse quicken. “Raph ain't no expert but I'll show you the ropes.” He replied while walking over to you and placing a hand gingerly on your shoulder. “Why don't we start with some stretches and go from there?”
“Sounds good!” You squeak, hoping he hadn't noticed how hot your face was as he started to slowly show you the ropes of gym life.
-
For the next month and a half Raph helped you navigate between stretches and the correct way to lift weights. In between the sets you stole secret glances at him, admiring how effortless he made everything look. You were so focused on making sure that you didn't make a fool of yourself in front of him, that you had only recently realized that you hadn't made as much progress as you had hoped and later that night at your workout session you could not keep your frustrations bottled up.
“I don't understand!” You groaned, walking into the gym where Raph was patiently waiting. Concern painted his face. “I've been working out for over a month now and I've only lost five pounds! And it looks like none of it came from my thighs!”
Sitting down in a huff onto the bench press, you angrily wiped away the tears that were stinging your eyes. You kept your eyes glued to the floor, even as Raph silently walked over and knelt in front of you.
“Hey. Could you please look at me?” Slowly bringing your eyes up, his soft, dark eyes stared back you in earnest. “You need to stop being so hard on yourself. You're doing great and should be proud of yourself.”
His kind words sting your bruised ego, making you lash out without thinking.
“How can I be?!” You yell, standing and brushing past him. It didn't escape you how hurt and confused he looked, making a deep seeded shame take root in your heart. “I thought I would be looking better by now...but I still look like this!”
Out of the corner of your eye, Raph stood at his full height and loomed over your shoulder. Anger was ebbing off of him, making your frustration shrink.
“Who said there was something wrong with the ya way that ya look?” He growled. “Tell me who.”
Wincing at his tone, you crossed your arms and kept your back to him.
“Me. I said it.” You whisper.
Raph huffed out a sigh before calmly ordering, “look at me.”
Every fiber of your being wanted to obey him but you were to much of a coward to face him. Without warning in the blink of an eye Raph was standing in front of you. With a firm but gentle hand, he gripped your chin and tilted your head up until your eyes met his.
“There is nothing wrong with the way you look.”
Resisting the urge to roll your eyes, you tried to pull away but Raph's grip tightened slightly. “You're suppose to say that. You're my best friend.”
Raph narrowed his eyes at you. “Do you think I would lie to you?”
“No. Of course not.” You answer without a doubt in your mind.
“Then trust me when I tell ya that there is nothin' wrong with how ya look.”
“But...my thighs...”
“Are not an issue.” Raph interrupted, he let go of your chin just to cup your face. Your cheeks warmed from the gesture and the soft expression that came across his face. “I wish... you could see yourself the way I see you.”
Your heart leaped into your throat at his words. “How do you see me Raph?” You whisper, despite the fact that his words had stolen the breath from your lungs.
“Perfect.”
His eyes glanced down at your lips. Giving him the slightest of nods, Raph slowly leaned in, until he was kissing you. Your breath hitched as his free arm curled around your waist and gently pressed you closer to him. Raph being the cautious and selfless giant that he is, was not asking for more that what you were willing to give but you wanted to give him everything. Blindly, you reach up and wrap one of his mask tails around your hand and pull him unbelievably closer.
A growl rumbled from his chest at your action, causing you to moan pitifully into your kiss. Raph pulled back, breathless and looking at you like you were made of stars. In turn you looked at him like he hung the moon.
“I've wanted this for so long.” He utters in a hushed tone that sent a shiver down your spine. “I never thought you would like Raph like this.”
That drew a small giggle from you. “You know, it's funny. I never thought you would want me like this.”
“Raph would have t' be the stupidest guy a live not to want you and your perfectly shaped thighs.” He added with a cheeky smile before leaning back in for another kiss, which you excepted with full enthusiasm.