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1. hating you to death seemed like a good compromise (but I still love you like I did many years ago) by butchjeanpierrepolnareff

   Fandoms: Malevolent (Podcast)  

   • Explicit
   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • Other
   • Work in Progress

   25 Sep 2026

   Tags

   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • John Doe/Arthur Lester
   • John Doe & Arthur Lester
   • John Doe (Malevolent)
   • Arthur Lester
   • Other Additional Tags to Be Added
   • Angst and Fluff and Smut
   • in this order
   • Mixed Media
   • is it really tho
   • Arguing
   • Diary/Journal
   • Guilt
   • Catholic Imagery
   • as a catholic atheist etc you know the drill
   • John Doe (Malevolent) Has His Own Body
   • Post-Canon
   • Metaphors
   • Animal Death
   • (mentioned) - Freeform

   Summary

   "From the commonplace book of J.D., 03/02/1938
   Sometimes he confuses me. And because of that, I hate him.
   Or rather, I don’t know if I hate him or something else. But when I don’t know how to feel about him I just think I hate him. Maybe it’s a habit from my past life.
   I don’t know if I can even describe how I feel about Arthur.
   Maybe I think I hate him because it’s the easiest word to use.
   Sometimes I see him as something small. I don’t know if it’s a regurgitation of divinity or something matured with the years, in the way I know how his viscera look better than I know how the world look beyond the confinement of his eyes, but sometimes I look at him and I see something small and precious like a shell found on a beach.
   Some other times, Arthur is as big as the moon in the sky. Cold, distant. And impossibly large."

   or: they find the right words.

   Series

   • Part 3 of life is short and also tight (but your mind is a great seamstress)

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   4,853

   Chapters:

   1/2

   Comments:

   1

   Kudos:

   13

   Hits:

   91