Chapter Text
Most of the time, Robbie’s plans were so convoluted that Sportacus couldn’t guess what he was up to. Sure the end game was to trick Sportacus and the kids, but the plan itself was normally so over the top that Sportacus couldn’t predict Robbie’s next move.
For several reasons, today’s plan had him more stumped than usual.
Firstly, Robbie had made a pit trap, which Sportacus was now sitting at the bottom of. It was much too deep for him to jump out of, but also surprisingly comfortable. There were thick blankets spread across the floor as well as half a dozen pillows that had cushioned his fall.
Secondly, he and Robbie had been sort-of-friends lately. Robbie’s schemes had not stopped but they were less about capturing or harming Sportacus and more for the kids. This pit trap, friendly as it was, was not in line with Robbie’s recent behavior.
Finally, and most peculiar, Robbie had tripped into the trap with Sportacus.
“So,” Sportacus said slowly after Robbie had stood up, “What’s your plan exactly?”
Robbie glared, apparently feeling that Sportacus was mocking him. Sportacus was just honestly curious but before he could clarify that, Robbie began jumping, reaching for the top of the hole. He had a few inches on Sportacus but ran out of the energy for jumping quickly. He slumped against the opposite side of the pit and crossed his arms.
“Damn.”
“Language, Robbie.”
“The brats aren’t around to hear me.”
“Still, don’t get into the habit.”
“I am trapped at the bottom of my own trap. I think I should be allowed to curse a bit.”
Sportacus put up his hands up in surrender. He looked around them, hoping to find something that could help them get out. The walls were just dirt, no help there. No switch or button or anything. This could take a while.
The hole was not cramped by any means; Sportacus could stand straight up and hold his arms out wide without touching Robbie. Still…
“Robbie, whatever you’re planning, could you maybe move a little faster?” He asked politely.
Robbie huffed, “No, I cannot ‘move a little faster’,” he repeated mockingly, “This was not part of the plan. There is nowhere to move.”
Sportacus felt his stomach clench, “B-but you have to have some way out of here, right? It’s your trap after all.”
“I didn’t expect to be the one in it, Sportastupid. The lever to get us out is up there.” He pointed, as if there was any other ‘up’ he could be referring to. Robbie really didn’t give Sportacus’ intelligence enough credit. “So until one of your precious fans comes along and pulls it for us, we’re stuck.”
“Oh. Okay,” Sportacus said, more to himself than Robbie, “That’s okay! We can just wait!”
Robbie cocked his head at him, “Yes. I just said that.”
“Okay! No problem at all! It’s absolutely okay!”
“You’ve said it four times so it must be.” The villain stretched, “I think I’ll take a nap.”
“Great idea! I’ll…” Sportacus thought for a moment, “do jumping jacks!”
Robbie groaned but Sportacus ignored him. He started jumping, counting loudly as he went. Robbie shifted closer into his corner as if to escape the noise, but Sportacus kept counting anyway.
Sportacus tried not to think about how the tips of his left hand brushed the dirt wall occasionally. Or how he was getting out of breath faster than normal. Or how stuffy and hot it was becoming.
Or how the walls were definitely getting closer. Or how he had stopped moving, couldn’t get air, couldn’t get help, couldn’t scream for help if he wanted to, and it was so cramped in here and the walls were squeezing him too tightly and he couldn’t move why couldn’t he move-
“Sportacus!”
Sportacus snapped back to himself. He was sitting on the blanketed floor. His back was against the wall and he was curled in on himself. Something was wrapped around him, something too close.
“Let go, let go!” he demanded once he realized what it was. Immediately, Robbie released him, scooting around to face Sportacus. Sportacus unfurled and flexed his joints before he wrapped his arms around himself. He looked around them. The hole was the same size it had been.
“Sportacus?”
After a moment, Sportacus mustered the focus to meet Robbie’s gaze. The other man was staring at him with open concern, cross legged in front of him.
“Sorry, Robbie,” Sportacus said shakily, “I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”
“Whatever, how could I not know you were claustrophobic?!” Robbie sounded offended, for some reason, but still looked worried, “All those schemes and plots and I never figured this out?!”
Sportacus actually found it in him to smile, “Well, I was never captured long enough for it to really affect me. And I always knew you’d let me out.”
“Still…”
“Would you have used it against me if you had known?”
“Of course not!”
Sportacus raised an eyebrow.
“…Okay in the beginning I would have. But not now!”
“Speaking of which, I meant to asked earlier,” Sportacus said, “Why the trap? You haven’t tried to catch me in a long while. I thought we…”
He didn’t want to say “I thought we were becoming friends” because it was possible Robbie did not see it that way. Sportacus might be reading him wrong and there was some other reason Robbie’s tricks had been mostly harmless recently.
Robbie’s face and body closed up at the question. He looked away and crossed his arms over his chest again, “There’s a slim chance my plan could still work so I’m not telling you.”
It was silent after that. Robbie didn’t offer up any information and Sportacus tried to keep his eyes on the blue sky above them and not think about his surroundings.
Anxiety swelled in his gut again and he rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands, “I think talking helped, Robbie.” Even to his own ears he sounded tense.
“Hmm? Oh, yeah,” The other man thought for moment, “Well, um, I guess… er…”
Sportacus watched as Robbie got up and started pacing. Sometimes he would glance at Sportacus before muttering and shaking his head.
“Robbie?”
“I’m thinking.”
“Of what to talk about?”
“Yes!” Robbie cried in exasperation, “I’m a worse friend than I thought if I can’t come up with something to say to you besides insults!”
Sportacus blinked up at him. Robbie froze mid step, then he coughed and turned away. He missed the huge grin that took over Sportacus’ face. Sportacus jumped to his feet, “You’re not a bad friend, Robbie!”
“He says, standing at the bottom of a trap I laid out for him.”
“Well, I’m sure you have a good reason this time.”
Robbie rubbed his hands together nervously, looking everywhere but at Sportacus. Finally he threw his hands in the air, “Alright, fuck it—”
“Robbie!”
“Oh stuff it, Sportakook! We’re alone, I can use adult words if I like!” Robbie said, pouting, “And if you really want to know why I wanted to capture you again, I… had a surprise for you.”
“A surprise?”
“Just for you, not the children, so I had to get you on your own. I was going to catch you in this hole and make you think I was going back to my old ways. Then I would pull the lever and you’re come back up and—” Robbie paused.
Sportacus didn’t want to pressure Robbie into talking but now he was curious. What was Robbie so nervous about?
“I have… a dessert waiting for you,” he finally said.
“Robbie, you know I can’t—”
“Of course I do! Better than anyone! But I did a lot of research and tried a lot of recipes and I made you a sugarless lemon cake that doesn’t taste like dirt.”
He said the last sentence very quickly and it took Sportacus a few moments to understand it.
“You went through all that trouble to make me something?” He clarified.
Robbie shifted his feet, “It’s sweet, but not sugary, so you can actually enjoy a dessert without having a meltdown. You’re going to have to build up a tolerance to that someday by the way. You may face someone worse than me at some point and if they use sugar against you, you’ll be screwed.”
It was obvious that Robbie was trying to change the subject to avoid what he thought was embarrassing but Sportacus wasn’t about to let that happen. He even let he swear go without comment. Sportacus stood up and clapped Robbie on the shoulder, making the man jump.
“That was very considerate of you, Robbie. I cannot wait to have some. I know you bake a lot and I’ve always wanted to try something of yours,” Sportacus admitted with a smile.
Color rushed into Robbie’s face. He opened and closed his mouth a few times. Then he lifted a hand but seemed unsure what to do with it. He settled for patting the hand on his shoulder.
“I never knew that,” he said finally, “I thought you hated all my cakes and cookies.”
“They are always pleasant to look at, even if I can’t have them. And you clearly spend a lot of time on them. I would love a chance to share in something you clearly like doing.”
At that, Robbie’s cheeks flushed a darker red. His hand had stilled on top of Sportacus’.
“HEY!”
Both men jumped when a familiar voice called down to them. The two of them let their hands fall and looked up to the mouth of the hole. Waving energetically down at them was Stephanie.
“Hey!” Sportacus yelled back, returning her wave.
“It’s about time, Pinky!” Robbie yelled instead, “Exactly where have you been?!”
“I was at my house waiting for Sportacus. I wanted to show him my new dance routine.”
“Sorry, Stephanie.”
“It’s not your fault,” She said, looking pointedly down at Robbie.
“It’s not my fault either!” he defended, “Well, okay, it’s a little my fault. Maybe. Do you want to point fingers or actually be useful?” he finally snapped.
Stephanie giggled, “What do you need me to do?”
“Pull the lever next to you.”
“The one with the red handle?”
“There is literally only one lever up there.”
“I’m just making sure.”
Robbie rolled his eyes. Stephanie moved away from the hole and Sportacus lost sight of her. There was a clink and the floor began to shake.
For a brief second of panic, Sportacus was sure the walls were finally caving in around them. Robbie must have seen something in his face because he suddenly took Sportacus’ hand and squeezed hard. With great relief, Sportacus squeezed back.
“You’re fine,” Robbie stated firmly. Gradually, the floor started to move upwards, not unlike an elevator. Apparently the bottom of the hole had really been a metal platform that now rose, carrying them towards the opening.
“Is that why you have all these blankets and pillows?” Sportacus asked.
“I wanted to surprise you, not kill you.”
“A fall like that wouldn’t kill me.”
“It was also so we could just sit here and eat after I brought you up.”
Sportacus smirked, “You really did think of everything.”
“Except for tripping into the hole. That I didn’t prepare for in the slightest.”
“Well under normal circumstances I think your plan would have been flawless.”
“Of course it would have!” Robbie said with bravado. Sportacus’ smirk turned into a full on smile.
They reached the top. Stephanie stared openly at their joined hands, but Robbie didn’t let go so neither did Sportacus.
“Thank you for your help, Stephanie! Why don’t I come by later this evening?” Sportacus suggested, “Robbie and I have some unfinished business to take care of first.”
The girl looked unsure but said, “Um, okay. See you then, Sportacus!” and ran off. Sportacus, and Robbie, surprisingly, waved goodbye.
As soon as she was out of sight, Sportacus slipped out of Robbie’s loose grasp. He did a cartwheel into a backflip, stood on his hands and stretched his feet towards the sky, then let himself fall onto his back, lying spread eagle on the grass with a sigh. No more walls; just open air and space. Endless space to move around in. He sat up and noticed Robbie watching him.
“Thank you,” he said, at the same moment Robbie said, “Sorry.”
Sportacus stood up to look at Robbie properly, “For what?”
“Let’s see; tricking you, trapping you, getting you stuck, and, let’s not forget, triggering a panic attack.”
“But those last two were by accident.”
“Yes but I’m still— sorry.”
“It’s okay, really. I was actually thanking you for seeing me through that.”
Robbie scoffed, “Well when you voluntarily stop exercising to sit down for a change, someone has to step up and fix you. Not that I had any idea what I was doing. Promise you’ll never do that in my presence again.”
If it was hard for Robbie to apologize to people, he seemed to have an even tougher time accepting thanks for a genuinely good deed. Sportacus hid a smile to save the man’s pride as he walked the short distance back to him.
“Should I make you a list of the rest of my phobias so you know what to avoid from now on?”
“Fantastic idea, give your archenemy a list of your greatest fears. How could that backfire.”
“Robbie, you are about to let me try a handmade lemon cake you baked with me in mind,” Sportacus couldn’t help but point out, “I think we left the label ‘archenemies’ behind a long time ago. If I recall correctly,” he went on, putting on a show of tapping his chin thoughtfully, “you’re the one that said ‘friend’ first.”
“Regardless,” Robbie said quickly, his face changing color again, “it’s never a good idea to write that sort of thing down.”
“Then maybe I’ll tell you instead. Over some sugar-free cake?”
That got a smirk out of the taller man, “Well if you insist.”