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McCoy wasn't that drunk when he had entered the shuttle to Starfleet; he wasn't sober either, sure but the fact that he was in a shuttle and that his life had crumbled around him was still a pretty tough thing to deal with. The Bourbon in his flask was one of the last things to hold on.
The kid in the seat next to him was the only other person who didn't wear the Starfleet red and he looked just as beaten up as McCoy felt. It was an act of mercy and sympathy to hand his available alcohol over.
“Jim Kirk.” The kid had told him and Leonard responded with his own name.
He really wasn't THAT drunk anymore when they took off but the combination of Bourbon, a fucked up life, his usually pessimism and his fear to die in something that flies managed to make him forget Jim Kirk's name.
oOo
After the shuttle flight they separated and went their own ways because McCoy had to report his arrival at medbay immediately and because he was a doctor he already was busy the minute he stepped inside the hospital. He surely was a cadet but his experience and the fact that he was twice as old as most of the newbies had it's good and bad sides.
The good ones were an own room which saved him from the humiliating situation to live with a teenager again and the fact that he could still work as that what he had learned, that he still was a doctor even if he was one who still had to be trained to serve in space.
The bad one was that he was twice as old as most of the new cadets and with that he felt oddly out of place most of the time. He wasn't cheery about new experiences, he didn't 'rise and shine' and he hated joyful noises in the morning. Or while lunch time. Or in general.
That maybe had nothing to do with his age but with his personality but people usually said it had to do with his age.
Which also was a big problem in connecting with others.
At work, in the hospital it wasn't hard to talk to the nurses or other doctors because they were his age, usually, but in his classes and courses where most people weren't older then 25? That was kind of a hard thing. McCoy wasn't an optimistic person, never had been and he maybe wasn't avoiding other students but his normal level of grumpiness got him a lot of personal space.
It was after the first two weeks of studying that the kid from the shuttle finally noticed that they had a few classes together. Leonard had seen him right when he had entered the first lecture because that queasy smile and energetic personality wasn't something you could overlook.
“Hey grumpy pants!” Those words didn't help to improve McCoy's mood that day and neither did the happy aura around the kid. Leonard didn't even bother to reply, just kept staring at his PADD. The kid, though, made his way to him and sat down in the free seat next to Leonard who frowned but did not acknowledge the other ones presence.
They still had a few minutes left until the lecture started and apparently there were a lot of people who wanted to talk to the blond guy by the many looks he got, but Leonard's aura of doom seemed to keep them away.
“You're not much of a talker, are you? Or did you just forget me?” The kid smiled at him and Leonard rolled his eyes. Holy shit, how was it even possible that a smile could be so fucking blinding?
McCoy kept reading the article on his PADD but his concentration was broken, he noticed, because he read the same sentence the third time. Great.
“My name is-”
“I don't fuckin' care what your name is, kid. Go away, you're annoying and I did not have enough coffee this mornin' to put up with someone like you; I even doubt there IS enough coffee to put up with someone like you, ever, morning or not.” He snarled at the kid, his eyes sending little sparks into the direction next to him; he looked right into those blue eyes again and yeah, the young man was attractive but hell if McCoy could care about that right now.
The blond cadet raised his hands in a soothing motion but didn't go away and when the lecture started and went on McCoy was getting more and more distracted. The reason was the kid, Kirk apparently, who when he held his hand up to give an answer showed some stomach; and because they sat so damn close McCoy could smell Kirk's scent, too.
When the class was over McCoy wasn't just grumpy anymore, now he also was horny.
He hated his life.
oOo
The next two days he did not have to see Kirk again, not in lectures or on accident around campus. McCoy was pretty okay with that because he didn't miss the too loud voice or the smart comments on the things the profs said.
His mood was as bad as ever when he entered the lecture hall again, the lecture hall he had to sit in for the next 180 minutes and listen to physics shit he wouldn't even have to use later, in his job, but which he needed to know about for exams.
He let himself fall into his usual seat and put his head in one of his hands because goddammit, was he tired.
He only had slept for four hours and he didn't had enough time to grab a coffee while on his way to class; he had overslept because his stupid alarm clock somehow had deactivated itself. He had no idea how the hell he was supposed to stay awake for the next few hours.
His eyes had fallen shut and he was sure he had been asleep for a short moment (or maybe a longer moment) when suddenly the scent of coffee hit him and the sound of a WAY too cheery voice again. He groaned and frowned in annoyance.
“Hey there old man.”
Of course it was Kirk.
“Whatcha want?” He grumbled without opening his eyes, trying to suppress a yawn but only being half successful in it. He was not awake enough to deal with Kirk today. At all.
“I thought you'd maybe like a coffee.” And now Leonard blinked one eye open, turning his head to the side to look at Kirk who held out a coffee to go. He raised an eyebrow, opening both eyes, suspiciously turning his head and trying to figure Kirk out.
McCoy wasn't stupid. Sure, he did not have had any coffee today but even he knew that some coincidences were too coincidental to still be coincidences.
“...How the hell did you break my alarm clock.” He asked and it wasn't really a question he wanted to be answered. He still frowned at Kirk, annoyed, but he grabbed the cup and took a sip of the still hot coffee. He wasn't really surprised when it was just as he liked, with milk, without sugar.
He drunk more of it, swallowing and he hated Kirk even more because of the smirk the kid gave him.
“I hacked into the security system.”
“I hate you.” McCoy replied because he maybe was thankful for the coffee but there would not have been the need to be thankful for a coffee if the kid wouldn't have deactivated his alarm clock in the first place. Leonard would rip Kirk's head off but he was still too tired for that. Maybe later.
“Nahh, you love me. Everyone loves me.”
McCoy huffed at that, rubbing at his eyes to get awake.
“Well I heard that Uhura hates you pretty much.” He said because yes, he knew Nyota Uhura and she had told him about Kirk on several occasions. She had always called Kirk 'the loud, annoying farm boy from the shuttle who was too arrogant for the world's sake'.
“Uhura? No, she likes me too, she just has trouble showing it, just like you.” Leonard had closed his eyes again, feeling the start of a headache.
“Do you have a witty remark for everything I say?” His voice was a groan and he really, really just wanted to sleep. Or die.
“Sure, Bones.”
McCoy was about to question the nickname but the prof just choose that moment to start class and afterwards McCoy didn't care enough about it to start another conversation with Jim Kirk.
Not that the kid thought Leonard actually liked him. Which he did not. Obviously.
oOo
Another whole week went by without Jim Kirk showing up in any way; McCoy's alarm clock worked perfectly fine, no more classes with the kid, nothing. Leonard actually started to TRUST the silence but this was his life and really, he should have known better.
Again, the physics lecture (he hated this class now more then anything) and he was reading on his PADD again when Jim Kirk sat down next to him. McCoy really just wanted his peace and he was about to snap at the kid to leave him the fuck alone when Kirk said:
“Hey, are you wearing space pants today? Because your ass is out of this world!”
And for a moment McCoy stared at Jim, mouth open, eyebrows drawn together. He was the very definition of What. The. Fuck. And it took his brain a moment to function again. He wanted to tell Kirk to shut it, to fuck off and never get near McCoy again or he would hypospray Jim to hell and back but when he closed his mouth and opened it again-
“No kid, those are softball pants, and this ass is out of your league.”
He was just as surprised about the witty remark as Jim was. The kid stared at him now, taken aback and Leonard grumbled, turning away again, focusing on his PADD.
It took two minutes for Jim to get back to normal, two sweet minutes of silence.
“Wow, fabulous answer, Bones!” And McCoy looked at Jim and again was met by that unbearable, stupid, queasy smile. He felt the rage in the pit of his stomach rise, the frustration and anger burning hot, not necessarily caused by Jim but by McCoy's whole life. All of this was directed at Jim, though.
“Good god, stop grinning like that, people could mistake you for the sun!” He said and it was supposed to be mean and an insult but it sounded a lot like another cheesy pickup line. McCoy asked himself why his brain seemed to be reduced to rubbish and if it had to do something with the fact that he had his third coffee already (caffeine could do funny things with his head if he had too much) or if it actually had to do something with Jim Kirk sneaking through his walls of grumpiness.
Kirk laughed and the sound was bright and carefree, and delighted, and did everything about that kid had to be so fucking joyful?
McCoy growled when Jim suddenly put an arm around his shoulders, hugging Leonard.
“Awww, that was a really cute one.” The smile only got a lot more blinding after that and if Bones had to point out a moment Jim Kirk had decided to become his new best friend, he would have said it had been that one.
oOo
McCoy wasn't that drunk when he entered his flat in the night, weeks, months later, supporting and being supported by Jim Kirk. To be true, he wasn't very sober, either, but the fact that he made it home and that his life seemed to be less screwed then several months before was a pretty good thing.
The Bourbon in his flask was gone and- and he wasn't sure where the flask itself was but he was okay with that; he didn't need it anymore. He had Jim Kirk to hold onto now; the kid who had been sitting next to him in a shuttle to Starfleet, the only other one not wearing standard red.
The kid who always seemed to try to look just as beaten up as Bones felt.
In the shuttle he had offered alcohol; now, he offered a couch to crash on and a quick patch up of Jim's cuts and bruises after a rough bar fight. It wasn't an act of mercy or sympathy; it was an act of friendship and caring.
“I'm Jim Kirk.” The kid told him often, eyes haunted by the shadow of an heroic father.
He really wasn't THAT drunk anymore when they fell asleep, sometimes both on the couch, sometimes both in his bed, sometimes separated; but the combination of alcohol, a not so fucked up life, his -still- characteristic pessimism and his fear to die in something that flies, it always made him remember Jim Kirk's name more clearly.
“Yeah, yeah you are kid. You're Jim Kirk. And I am Leonard McCoy.” He always answered and Jim would respond “No, you're Bones.” before blacking out for the night and McCoy would agree to the silence.
“Yes. Yes I am. But just for you.”
And somewhere along the way -and this time Bones could not put his finger on one moment- he had fallen for Jim Kirk. Had fallen for the guy who had beaten the Kobayashi Maru test, who had fought Nero and Khan and had saved the earth twice.
Who had died in a radioactive chamber and who had come back to life through McCoy's very own hands.
Somewhere in the mess and the haste of space adventures and unknown futures he had fallen deeply.
oOo
The five year mission was something which had never been tried before and McCoy didn't know if he liked that fact.
He was okay with being in space by now; he was okay with being the CMO and serving under Jim; he was okay with Joanna living with Jocelyn; he was okay with being divorced; he was okay with just being Jim's best friend; but he wasn't sure if he was okay with five years in space.
He told Jim that, one evening after another nearly-screwed up landing mission.
“Ahh Bones, no need to worry, it'll be fine. Just imagine of all the things we will see, new planets to explore!”
“Jim you know me; I am a doctor not Cora the explorer. I heal, I don't look for trouble like you do.” He nipped on his drink and leaned back on his couch. Jim sat next to him, arms sprawled out on the backrest, one lying nearly on Bones shoulders, Jim's hand touched Bones' neck just slightly. The touch didn't seem to be intentional but Bones enjoyed it anyway, his face relaxed.
“Bones, seriously, if you don't like space, why did you even sign up in Starfleet?” Jim's question sounded playful but Bones heard, deep down in it, a small amount of serious curiosity, a part of Jim who knew that the divorce had made him enter the shuttle but that something else entirely had made him stay.
Bones kept quiet. He had decided a long time ago that he would never act on his feelings for Jim because the friendship they had was way to precious to risk it.
He shrugged and closed his eyes to avoid Jim looking into them. Jim would know that there was more behind that, with him not saying something on this if he'd see Bones' eyes.
It was silent for a moment and McCoy thought Jim would drop the topic but of course not. This was Jim Kirk, after all.
“Seriously, Bones. Why are you here?”
McCoy thought about not answering or replying with a thin lie but then suddenly Jim's hand wasn't barely touching him anymore; it rested on Bones neck, warm and heavy. He looked up, opened his eyes and was instantly met with Jim's blue ones, reading his mind.
“Tell me, Bones. Why are you in space if you hate it so much.” And Jim's eyes glittered and Bones had the feeling that maybe, maybe Jim already knew the answer. Maybe, maybe Jim wanted the answer Bones could give if telling the truth.
“You know why, kid.” Jim sat nearer, leaned into Bones' personal space and pressed their heads together, holding Bones' with his hand in place.
“Tell me, Leonard. Tell me, please. I need to hear it.” The usually so loud and joyful voice of the Captain of the U.S.S Enterprise was soft and more a whisper then anything else and Bones could barely hear it above his loud heart, beating fast.
He breathed in. Crossing the line now would it make impossible to go back.
“You sure?”
McCoy swallowed, hearing his blood rushing in his ears.
“I am.” The reply came quickly and Jim sounded more sure now, steadier then before.
“I am in space...” He breathed out, “...On a five year mission, as your CMO...” He moved his right hand to lie on Jim's chin, tilting it up slightly, “...exploring new planets and stitching you up when a landing mission goes wrong...” He brushed his lips chaste against Jim's, not quite kissing, “...Because I am deeply and utterly in love with you, Jim Kirk.”
Bones pushed his mouth on Jim's, firmly and fiercely now, moving his lips in a seeking movement, wanting more.
Jim kissed back eagerly and when Jim's tongue entered Bones' mouth, massaging his tongue Bones moaned. He had craved for this kind of touch for years and now that he was getting it, it was way better then everything he could ever have imagined. Jim's scent, Jim's hands touching his skin, Jim's eyes closed in bliss...
Bones leaned back, panting.
“Do you have any idea how long I already love you, kid? And here you are, kissing me back. Finally.” His voice was breathless and rough, his accent thick but he sounded incredibly happy. He was incredibly happy.
Jim actually blushed at his words but smiled, too, his blinding smile of doom.
“Bones, can I ask you something?” Jim asked, the smile forming into a smirk, a slightly wicked expression on his face.
“Sure.” He said, frowning again because if Jim Kirk looked like this in a moment which should be romantic he was about to-
“Are you wearing space pants today? 'Cause your ass is totally out of this world!”
Bones smacked Jim's head but it only made that infant of a space ship Captain laugh harder.
~FIN~