Work Text:
Wind on the shore is cold and salty.
Wifies didn't think of it much when he first got here, but now it felt sharp on his face and dry in the eyes. Even waves of the ocean before him rolled slowly and lazily, lost all of the excitement about a new pair of eyes enjoying them.
He felt cold and salty too. The whole Leviathan thing was draining him both emotionally and physically with sharp swings from skeptical thinking and logical outcomes of their actions, to Hummer's enthusiasm spilling everywhere and his promises that he knows what he does, which always led to them running somewhere new and doing something stupid. Illegal even. That wouldn't have been much of a problem, if only Wifies could stop listening and shut down the investigation early.
Of course he couldn't.
Now Hummer was unusually silent, adding to the pool of crippling uncertainty that tied them up so close together. He didn't even look once at Wifies, walking behind him as out of embarrassment, or maybe just because he was lost somewhere deep inside his own mind, thinking everything they saw over and over again.
They just returned from the Arronax's Leviathan Museum without saying a single word to each other, and then had a massive fight after which Wifies felt like a total dork for both trusting Hummer and not being able to believe him. He could've guessed the reason behind Hummer's behavior — he just wasn't bothered enough to actually care what Hummer has to say after everything he put them through. At least for now. His constant rambling about anything and everything and nothing in particular started making Wifies question some of the choices he made throughout this whole journey.
Not all of them, though. Without Hummer he never would've made it this far into the whole shrine dedicated to the one single "Levi" creature which existence he coincidentally decided to prove. Or disprove. That wasn't something Wifies could willingly change — either it's real, or not, and he'd be happy with any outcome that will get him further away from suffocating, vague confusion he hated so much.
And Hummer definitely wasn't ready to accept this point. At least, that's what Wifies thought, sliding his gaze down Hummer's body, hunched over the fence around his timeworn base he called home. He always slouched as far as Wifies could've notice, making his above average height pretty… average looking. The only difference now was the way his shoulders were down. Not nervously, or because he subconsciously wanted to be smaller — Hummer looked exhausted to the point he couldn't force his body straight. Leaning onto his elbows, he lowered his head, gazing somewhere in the depths of his beloved ocean. At least Wifies suggested he was; Hummer's fluffy hair hid his face away really well, so Wifies could only wonder where he was looking.
Wifies didn't know his habits too well yet, despite already spending quite some time together. Everything aligned just right, even though he expected Hummer to be rather angry than disappointed. Disappointment didn't feel fierce enough for someone like Hummer to experience after another person let him down. Not just another person, but someone who claimed all the glory for lesser amount of commitment Hummer had. And then she gave up and settled for less, something Hummer couldn't ever imagine doing.
Reasoning didn't really matter anyway. The feeling sure wasn't the best one for Wifies too — the only solid evidence they could've had turned out to be a red herring of sorts. Was it the reason to finally stop looking?
Yes, in a way.
Wifies already proved to himself everything he came here for. Hummer lied. And then this Arronax girl lied too, trying to hype up as much people as she could just to get a fraction of forgiveness from herself for lying and failing her beliefs. Complicated humans as they are — still, one thing remained unclear.
Hummer had no motive to lie. He researched for his own sake, he didn't even need someone's contribution or approval, and he was sure about things he saw, or felt. He has the whole ocean for himself along with the undeniable knowledge that the Leviathan exists, waiting for the right move for him to do. Hummer had no reason to lie and even less reason to lure Wifies in here with him.
There has to be something else. Something, they both too tired to unravel right now. So Wifies thought they only needed some time to rest before diving in again.
Hummer needed. It must be exhausting for him, being in someone's company for so long after god knows how much time spent in social isolation. Wifies hears how his voice cracks painfully every time he says more than two words at a time, which, to be fair, almost never happens.
"Uh, Hummer?" he started awkwardly and bowed forward a bit, trying to look under Hummer's hair at his face. Hummer flinched, small colorful ripple emerging on the surface of his glasses' lens, and twitched away.
It… happened sometimes. When they first met, right off the bat by Hummer's look Wifies could tell he had a few weird secrets like this. They weren't even secrets, Wifies just didn't know what and how to ask, and Hummer didn't seem to be aware of himself enough to talk about it first. So all Wifies had left to do is to brush it off every time, thinking that maybe later, when they'll be a bit closer, he'd ask.
"Do you mind if I take another look at your notes? Books and stuff."
Isn't that good of a rest, is it? In Wifies' mind, Hummer should say "sure, help yourself" and let him wander around on his own for a while, until Hummer was ready for some company again.
But Hummer was silent for more time than he needed to say "sure".
"Why would you want to do that?" he replied, his voice strong but so quiet, Wifies almost mistook it for the ocean's whispers. Whispers of threat — feeling of countless thinnest needles of electricity crawled up his fingers, sending shivers down his body so intense, he had to glance up in the sky, making sure no storm is coming, but lofty skies were just as clear as a moment ago. He tried to look at Hummer once more searching for an answer, but he turned away with dispatch, his hands shaking clenching the railing. "Wasn't you all fed up with Levi just, what, an hour ago?"
He was. Slow but steady, Hummer was starting to ask for too much things to put faith into, some more insane then the others. It was engrossing at first. A little bit annoying then. Now, after Hummer almost killed him two times in a row, Wifies was scared, for both of them. And still, somehow backing up wasn't an option anymore.
Wifies could've died a lot of times throughout his life. He could've, and he died, pursuing the ones before him, making path for the ones after; and he emerged from his own ashes just to die again — but here he wasn't alone anymore. If he will be about to die, Hummer will follow. He already did once.
For Hummer liked Wifies. Clearly more than just a partner.
And he was okay with that.
Wifies took a deep breath, filled his lungs with salty air, and the feeling of the storm oncoming rolled off of him gently, leaving his hands steady and head — almost — clear. Instead, he saw water slowly licking wet wooden docks underneath his feet. A few birds flying by. A shoal of fish blowing a whole lots of silver air bubbles from below the surface. Wifies saw the whole world, way too big for two tiny humans, glowing in shades of blue before his very eyes — would any of that change if he or Hummer knew for sure that Leviathan is out there, somewhere?
"I don't want you to be alone in this, I guess."
Hummer froze, shifting his brooding frame a little. Something cold dropped inside his chest from these words. He was indeed waiting for some reassurance Wifies never gave him this far; he just didn't think it would be that blatant.
Behind the glasses and his bangs that softly covered his expression after wind's careful touches, everything Wifies could see were Hummer's tight lips, all chapped and bitten. He didn't seem like he was going to respond, so Wifies sighed and continued, driving his words a bit further from what he wanted to say at first. "I still need more info for my own journal. It would be nice to include something from the early days, you know. Before those Leviathan museums and big machinery of yours. I want to know the way it all started."
Wifies watched carefully Hummer's body language to know exactly where to stop and when to push forwards slightly more. Under his soft voice, Hummer started to open up visibly; but there still was a hint of an evident tension within him. In his long, knotty fingers with cuts and scratches bandaged here and there nervously picking at the cracks in the wooden railings, threatening to get a splinter, or in his angular shoulders, quivering lightly in doubt of whether he should finally look at Wifies, or not.
At this point he had enough of data from the observation already, so instead of analyzing Hummer's body even further, Wifies decided to use the last one ace up his sleeve and get this whole negotiation over with.
"You know that I don't have anyone else who can help me out. If it wasn't for you, I'd never been an inch closer to where I am now, probably still stuck cycling through all the fake reports. And, y'know… my own reports just wouldn't be right without your words in them."
Buttering Hummer and his big fragile ego up.
And it did work. The stiffness in him didn't get anywhere, but now it felt like Hummer was just more worked up than a few seconds before — at least his despondent aura melted away, turning thick electric discharge radiating from him into plain interest. Wifies himself was pretty decent at cracking up different mysteries, so solve that man, all soft and fuzzy, also wasn't too hard: praising Hummer for the obsession he had to get him all wrapped around Wifies' finger was a great price for him to pay.
"I know I can't do much here for you, and that's exactly why I need you. You're so sure I can see the Leviathan for some reason, so what if I will? Do you think I'll make it there on my own?" and for the final blow, Wifies stroked his shoulder firmly, making Hummer finally face him.
And it was as weird as fascinating to see.
Hummer's glasses didn't even look like glasses anymore — two lenses were covered in colorful flickering patches, shimmering like static on the old broken TV screen. Looking right at them hurt Wifies' eyes a little, but they glowed so tempting, drawing attention from Hummer's cheeks and ears all flushed with deep red, contrasting unbelievably well with sickly pale skin of a man who haven't slept well in ages, and Wifies couldn't look away.
There was something in this glow. So unrealistically unnatural, supernatural even, something Wifies loved so much to the point he dedicated half of his life to it. The glasses weren't human-made, maybe Hummer himself wasn't human-made; so captivating, with his mere presence he thrilled Wifies' mind, washing over him so profoundly he wanted to seize the feeling and keep it within him.
Mesmerized, he couldn't help but reach out, his fingertips barely hovering over the glasses' temples-
Hummer didn't let him. Yanking his shoulder from Wifies' hands, he cleared his throat awkwardly and stepped away from the fence, turning his back to the stunned boy. His heart still was pounding painfully hard through the ribcage even when Hummer hid his face again, politely keeping all the comments on Wifies' staring and acting to himself, as if such reaction was something he encountered often.
Maybe he thought that was normal for usually detached Wifies. Maybe he didn't want to upset him. Both will do.
"Oh, yeah. Sure then. Sorry." Hummer nodded, and, by the movements of his hand, Wifies guessed fixed his glasses. "Let's, uh, let me show you where which section is. I have everything classified here, you haven't seen everything yet."
"Of course you do," Wifies thought, but kept his silence. Apparently, the rest he planned just failed miserably, and they were going together; but maybe he'll get the chance to have a small-talk about anything else Hummer related.
It wasn't even about the Leviathan anymore. Now Wifies had way more exciting mystery right here before his face, this time — undemanding to prove his existence, but yearning to be seen. And the Leviathan, well… it already has its devoted follower. Doesn't need another one.
This time Hummer's home library seemed more welcoming. Like a polar opposite from motley ocean full of cool toned blue, everything in here had soft glow from the sun peeking through the window. Before, Wifies couldn't appreciate the moment of stillness this place offered, but now taking deep breaths of warm dusty air soothed the body and calmed the mind, something he craved subconsciously.
"Those few journals you picked first, they were with other people's reports, right?" Hummer started carefully, watching Wifies stepping into the puddle of sunlight on the floor. Tiny dust pieces scattered around him, making Hummer look away awkwardly without acknowledging the mess in his house aloud.
"Yeah. With your markings in it about who and where lied about seeing what."
"Seeing Levi." Hummer corrected him, frowning and clicking his tongue. At this point Wifies was just being rude. However, he didn't push the topic further, brushing it off instead. They have more important things to do rather than arguing over and over again about if Wifies believes him or not — they've done more than enough of that. "Okay, then you know that the report section is right here…"
Hummer didn't lead him too deep inside, walking around the very first bookshelves near the entrance, pretty much where they initially stopped. Wifies followed, looking through the books barely different from each other. How could Hummer memorize everything? How much time he spent, writing everything down?
Approaching the further wall, Hummer turned to Wifies, swaying on his heels with excitement. At least he started talking again — Wifies couldn't lie and say he was listening to every single word, but being so far away from the viscous silence felt somehow more natural in this place. So he smiled and nodded politely, waiting for the next instructions.
"Everything is sorted by date. That means… here I have the newest reports," Hummer pointed at the highest shelves with books sitting there and paper sheets peeking out. Wifies doubted he could reach them on his own. "And the oldest ones on the lower shelves. I've already shown you the very first debunked one, so I don't think they can be much of a use anymore… but you can check them out too. If you- of course only if you want to."
Wifies nods again, hoping that'll do as an answer, so Hummer fixes his perfectly sitting glasses and turns away swiftly. There's not a single sign of something being wrong with them — or with Hummer besides his usual awkwardness.
Wifies takes a few steps along the cabinets, pretending to search through the books with his eyes glued to Hummer's back. He's so enthusiastic, doing something while thinking no one watches him: his hands are firm when he picks a book, even his posture straights when he needs to reach the upper shelf. Wifies watches, how full he is with genuine gentleness when he opens the book, hums something to himself, then puts it back and shakes his head in disapproval, like a true research scientist, carefully judging the book's value for Wifies. Hummer stacks the books he needs on the floor next to him, making a small, slightly precarious column, and then suddenly drops on his knees to presumably reach for something deep inside the lowest shelf. Wifies chuckles to himself, thinking that such behavior explains the patches on his pants and shirt really well, before turning on his heels to face the bookshelf, feeling the striking urge to hide his shameful curiosity about another man's demeanor.
Right in time, because just a few moments later Hummer gets up, shakes the dust from his palms off of his sides and picks up the books, approaching Wifies with a huge smile on his lips.
"Well, apart of the, may I say, boring false reports, I also have my own old research. Here, I've picked some," Hummer lends him a stack of books, all different kinds of thickness. Wifies takes them and his muscles stiffen up unexpectedly from the weight. "Coordinates where I've felt Levi the most often, observations on how his presence affects the marine life and water quality… you know, fish tend to be healthier in those areas! I even took samples of the sand from the seafloor, which had little to no use though, and-"
"Any… specific recommendations?" Wifies asks, forcing Hummer to stop mid-sentence. Such commitment was definitely praiseworthy.
"What?" Hummer tenses up, hope still flickering from the bottom of his eyes. In no way Wifies could let him down with disinterest in a dozen books Hummer expected him to read right now.
"Recommendations. Do you have a favorite one I should start with?"
And Hummer bursts with joy once again, reassured with a few tender words.
"Yes!" he steps closer, puts his hands on top of Wifies' and squeezes them tightly, making a tower of books he was holding sway a little. "Sure, I-I mean, if you give me a second to think…"
"Okay. Take your time." Hummer lays off him and replies with a single mhm, already being deep into the books he took from his hands, going through them and trying to find the one that could pique Wifies' interest the most. Low — too low for Hummer's height — wobbly table next to the window that Hummer occupied for his one-time research quickly became a mess with all the opened journals and ripped pages falling out of them…
He suddenly acted so effervescent about all of this, as if there was no tension between them ever. It soothed Wifies a bit. If they never find anything, at least he would have a new incredibly talented friend that needs a bit of a balance in his life, and some good company.
Wifies didn't even need any early time reports, especially false or vague ones; seeing Hummer being calmly passionate about something just felt nice.
So he smiled to himself and turned around, looking through the shelves for pretty much anything, wondering if any book could catch his attention just like that, with nothing but a spine peeking out of a dozen similar ones.
Time flowed by, letting them silently bond over small shared moments. Occasionally Hummer asked in what topic Wifies was more interested in between two, interchanging one book on the table with another. One time he asked Wifies to bring him a pen, and then asked for a second one, because he lost it in the next twenty or so minutes. Twice Wifies almost got lost in a labyrinth of the humble home library with a pen in his hand. Then curiosity took over him, making Wifies carefully approach Hummer from the back to look at why he needed the pen in the first place. Legibly, he was writing notes on a spare piece of paper, explaining to future Wifies in what order he needs to read, where should he stop, what paragraph in each chapter referred to…
When Hummer realized Wifies was looking, he shooed him away, scolding him jokingly because he wasn't done yet. So Wifies went back and instead of keeping on pointlessly searching, decided to clean the place up a little.
He knew he shouldn't rearrange anything to his liking, so he stuck to simply picking up fallen journals and getting out any sheets, jammed forgotten in the depths of the cabinets. It was the first time he saw something genuinely peculiar.
Hidden in the dusty wooden gut, a lonely book was sitting, shoved so far away from the sight Wifies had to wonder if it truly got here accidentally. Behind every row of books was usually space so little barely nothing could fit, except for this one shelf. Everything was moved so close to the edge, Wifies hardly noticed something laying in the corner.
Glancing back at Hummer and making sure he still pays no attention to what Wifies' doing, he reaches out, grabbing the dusty journal. If Hummer never wanted for it to be found, he'd put it in a more secure place, right?
Unlike every other book, this one's well-worn cover had no golden rim, as if hundreds of hands that touched it carried away the painted patterns on their fingers. The corner ripped off, uncovering darkened thin paper underneath it, and the small label which should've reveal the date when Hummer started to write, was scratched out with thick black ink.
Carefully, scared to damage, Wifies goes through it. Faded in sunlight yellow paper with occasional dark splashes here and there holding the memories about something spilling inside long ago, looks like absolutely normal work notebook. Full of schemes he couldn't make anything out of and formulas he has never seen before. A slight feeling dawned at him, maybe these records didn't belong to the Leviathan at all — every time he read Hummer's works, they were linked with each other through similar data; sometimes messy and in need of deciphering, every single one of them looked like a scientific report related to the ocean in any sense, even if they were half-empty for the periods Hummer couldn't find anything important. These ones were pure mathematical calculations devoid of any biology, or mysticism. Or personal emotions, sometimes they slipped inside his books too.
And, what confused Wifies the most, on those pages he never saw the Leviathan's name written. For him, it felt too wrong to think that Hummer had something else going on before stumbling upon Levi. Was it everything that remained of his past?
Closer to the middle, after a few blank pages, the text abruptly changes, ruining the whole perspective of the book's purpose.
From the first few moments of so called "reading", everything Wifies could see was scribbled gibberish all over the pages. Drawings, writings, everything merged with each other into one ink-black mass falling into the senseless abyss so rapidly, Wifies had to check if he was still reading the same book. The second he distinguished something that looked like strings of illegible words, they curled into kaleidoscope of unreadable forms and revealed weird shapes, so he went further and further, until reaching the very last page, clean, filled with a single paragraph.
A feeling I can't transcript verbatim. I have never had one and will never have the same as He gave me. I was dying, the poison from my broken brain gnawing at my vitals so endurable I wished to die once more. The ocean have never been so cold. My blood leaking through His veins have never been so warm. I boiled alive through His body for Him granting me a wish and I wished to be alive, so He disemboweled me and I was excited to be. He took a part of me to make me as whole as I am and left nothingness after.
…I need Him to recognize me again. I need my blood back.
Hummer never told about this.
Wifies stared at the writings for a good minute or so, just trying to fully comprehend them gave him a tangible headache, a feeling of the ice blizzard spiraling down his stomach for how unnatural the entry sounded and how abnormally out of the blue it started. Did Hummer write this? Why?
Could that be about the Leviathan? If so… is it as good for Hummer as he thinks it is?
Wifies tries to blink off the eerie sensation of myriads of questions flooding his mind all at once, and when he lowers his eyes back down on the book, there's nothing in his hands anymore.
"No, no-no-no, where did you get that?!"
Hummer is right here, looks even smaller and thinner than usual. He bends over the book he was now gripping tightly, his hands are trembling so much it barely lets him hold onto this journal. His ghostly pale skin went paler; patches on the glasses reappearing here and there like exploding fireworks, like a machinery experiencing crucial failure. "You shouldn't have seen it, it's… I promise I was wrong, I-I need to redact a few of my conclusions… or, no, I should just throw it away, that's better…"
His chest moves so fast that even Wifies himself almost feels the dizziness from Hummer's blood racing through his body, pumped by sinking heart, and he has no words of comfort to say. Hummer doesn't need them either way — Wifies already stirred up too much words he never wanted to remember.
"Wait, Hummer, I-" the door slams shut before Wifies' face. Hummer's gone, and everything is back to silent again. "…I'm sorry."
He knew he barely could do anything differently to avoid upsetting Hummer once again, and still the lump of regret in his throat made it a bit harder to breathe. Wifies was perplexed, and Hummer's fantastic talent of disappearing without a word whenever he wanted to didn't help. He surely has a mind of his own when it comes to the Leviathan.
The only thing Wifies felt guilty about, is letting events turn this way right after he explicitly told Hummer he didn't want him to be alone, and instantly made him run, on his own, dealing with whatever Wifies had awoken.
Oh well. Seems like he's not about to return any time soon.
So Wifies sighs. Reaches to the shelves as he walks, leaves a trace of his fingertips on the dusty surfaces. Even picks out a book with his eyes closed, but finds only raw boring data without any given background.
There's still stuff Hummer left on the table for him, but those surely aren't done yet, and he quite literally forbid Wifies from looking. Despite remorse kicking in again, he couldn't help but glance at the notes for a moment, at their firm curvy letters prudently etched in the paper with a careful hand and a clear mind bearing nothing but a mellow desire to be understood. Even Hummer's latest books aren't written in such neat way.
Wifies decides not to read into them deeper than that.
Between vainly trying to play a good partner by exploring the notes on his own, and listening to Hummer at least this one time he safely picks the second option and leaves their chosen corner for later. The library feels as big as it is small, and Wifies can't stop thinking about everything he misses out on while not having Hummer here with him. Every agonizingly slow minute, every second he spends here hits him harder and harder with disgusting sensation of wasted time, whether it's two minutes or twenty; he couldn't say how much exactly. And to worsen the situation even further — unpleasant self-awareness about roaming around Hummer's stuff started creeping along the back of Wifies' head, locking him inside the prison of wanting to do pretty much anything useful but being unable to.
Not like Wifies had a problem with it; he just didn't want to disrespect Hummer even more than he already did.
Especially when there's this door, staring temptingly back at him. Hidden behind the corner between two bookshelves, its doorknob glistened in the rays of sunlight breaking through a window up near the ceiling, begging for Wifies' attention. Anything could be behind. An answer on the unhinged book. Something from Hummer's past. A few other secrets he didn't want to bring up. Or just another normal room, like any normal house would have. Anything. Does he really need to check?
Wifies snaps out of it when his palm already clenched the knob. If there's something important for their search, Hummer will show it himself. If not, he doesn't need to see what's inside.
Hot from the sun metal starts to burn his fingers.
He has done plenty of that back in the museum and it didn't end up well. Who knows how many luck is left behind his back to successfully trespass into somewhere else, more important than a random room in Hummer's house.
So Wifies takes a deep breath and lets go of the handle, finally stepping outside, into the warm sand and fresh softly biting wind. The sun is still high up, so there has to be a bit of time before they'll be needing to think what to do next with their research. And for now, Wifies can take a break, just like he wanted to since morning.
Nothing on the beach had changed, to the point that there were no footprints left on the sand. Wifies specifically looked around, peeked behind the house trying to guess where Hummer could go, or at least make sure that he's fine — or will be — but found nothing. Even the boat he used to show Wifies the ship also was on its place, tied firmly to the docks and slowly rocking on the waves, having no signs of being taken.
That man really is something else. Maybe Wifies was right and he indeed wasn't human-made after all; but this mystery of his he'll solve later. His head now was too heavy from everything happened today, and if he'll keep thinking for a single minute more his brains will definitely explode, ending everything he and Hummer have barely started.
Wifies walked down the shore, letting wind tease his face with the tiniest beads from splashing waves. The ocean seemed even more distant than it used to, almost unwelcoming, despite shining so prettily in the golden sun, paintings made with light on its sand below clear water.
He knew what was wrong. The ocean was so much friendlier when Hummer, probably the closest man to the aquatic world, was around, and Wifies couldn't tell if his presence calmed him, or tamed the ocean itself, forcing it to behave. Irrational assumption made so much sense while thinking of Hummer.
Hummer was nice to think about.
After founding the spot clear from the ocean debris, Wifies slowly sat on the warm sand, pulling his knees comfortably to the chest. When was the last time he could dedicate a moment or two to himself? When was he allowed to thoughtlessly stare into the boundless horizon lulling him, washing away the tiredness of the passing day? For the first time ever Wifies was able to put a fragment of the weight he bore onto someone else's shoulders. Certain someone who willingly took the lead, promising that everything will be okay.
Wifies couldn't believe him, but Hummer's faith was more than enough for them both. Or three of them, if that's what Hummer needed. He would be genuinely happy if this man's efforts won't be put to waste in the passage of time.
Closing his eyes, soaking up the sun Wifies felt at peace. Spots of sunlight danced before his lowered eyelids, wind run through his dark hair and dulled every other sense. If he'll force himself being vulnerable like this, would that soften the ocean's tempers?
Behind the murmur of the waves he barely heard approaching footsteps. He hoped it was Hummer finding him too soon, not him resting here for too long.
"Ah… Wifies?" the soft voice made him snap back into reality. Hearing his own name rolling out of someone's tongue with such care was so odd he wondered if it was the first time Hummer called him by his name. "Listen, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to… weird you out, or, um- anything else you might've thought."
"No, don't be. Sensitive topic, I get it." Wifies shrugged trying to laugh it off lightheartedly, but Hummer stayed silent. Of course it was a sensitive topic for him. Wifies shook his head, hoping he won't take it to heart. "None of my business anyway."
"Don't say that. We're already together in this, no? You wanted us to be." a smile slipped into Hummer's voice, and Wifies couldn't help but force his eyes open and lift his chin up, wishing to catch Hummer's eyes, a glimpse of unfamiliar emotions in them. Nothing was left of the disheveled look he had when leaving. He stood here, his hands locked behind his back, looking not at Wifies but far into the ocean so calm as if nothing ever happened. So Wifies did the same, squinting a little from all the water glistening, silently admiring the view for a moment. He couldn't see how hard Hummer's fingers were trembling either way. "What are you doing here, huh?"
"Nothing. Just trying to see what you can see in here." Wifies said, relaxing his shoulders stiff after sudden encounter. He really wanted to see, wanted to believe, but the ocean seemed to almost physically push him away, making all the leads go wrong way and all the hints be useless whether he tried to solve them or not. And he wasn't yet ready to feel what Hummer felt that day, wasn't ready to deal with that odd mental state that Hummer slipped into sometimes. Which honestly was more than understandable, considering the new details added to the story. Wifies' consciousness was too dear to him. "So… what are you going to do now then?"
Hummer kept quiet for a while, taking a moment to think about two contradictory truths Wifies' held clashing with each other. Wifies never owed him anything, and yet he stayed till this very day acting differently each time.
He can't believe him, and he tries again and again, just to tell Hummer that he can't. He doesn't hold him, nor does he push him away. It's Hummer who should make this decision.
He already did. Wifies just needs to accept it.
"Me? …Why do you ask?"
"Dunno. Just wanted to know if I'm the only one getting my head out of things here." sighed Wifies. Hummer took a moment to glance somewhere at his face, almost in the eyes, wondering about something he never told. Wifies still couldn't catch him staring, even if he knew he was. "We could take a break. A normal one."
"Do you mind… ah… can I make you some coffee, maybe?" the more time Hummer spent around Wifies, the more unsure he sounded talking about ordinary things that barely needed to be doubted. Wifies' disbelief really started to rub off on him. At least he tries, that's all that matters.
"Sure, why not. We've been drinking only potions for quite some time already." Hummer chuckled nervously, crooked little smile appearing on his lips. For a few moments he just stood here, awkwardly silent. Second joke in a row didn't land well, what a shame.
"I'll go get it then. No, wait… we can't drink coffee right here, can we… come here, right. I have notes in my room too, the fresh ones. I'll show you. No, wait, we won't do this…" Hummer desperately rubs the bridge of his nose under the glasses, embarrassed for himself right away. Wifies intentionally dismisses it.
"It's fine. We'll decide on the spot."
Hummer lets out a relieved sigh instead of a "thank you". He thinks for a second, and then reaches his hand out, waiting for Wifies to hold onto him and get up. The gesture so small yet unreasonably sweet. They were nothing more than a detective and a scientist who happened to work on a same thing, weren't they?
Wifies grabs Hummer's hand, and his skin feels just as warm as the sand beneath them.
"Sorry. Don't mind the mess."
Hummer takes a deep breath before opening the door. The very same one that caught Wifies' attention just an hour or so ago suddenly turned out to be the way into Hummer's private room, or more of a working space where he happened to sleep sometimes as Wifies figured. The mess shouldn't be so bad since everything else in the house is in the - almost - perfect order.
"I really don't. It's okay."
Wifies could've sworn he never saw Hummer wear more serious and focused expression on his face while doing something as simple as showing a friend his room. A joke about Wifies visiting his bedroom for the first time almost escaped his mind, so he had to bit his tongue to prevent that, thinking that it surely won't lead into any good consequences right now.
And then Hummer finally pushed the door, revealing his maybe the second biggest secret.
It's not like it was… too bad. It definitely had quite less space than Wifies thought it would have, and maybe was a little more hoarded than Wifies could ever imagine, and maybe it was kinda dark and scary in here, and - maybe - it looked more like a storage room than the actual place where a human could live…
Wifies blinks for a few times, wondering if his eyes didn't adapt to the darkness yet and he just couldn't see a few corners that were actually here; but no. Hummer's room just was a total mess.
"Sorry, sorry, I wasn't expecting any guests like… ever? I guess." Hummer stepped inside right away, rushing between piles of paper and notebooks here and there, putting so much effort into finding a better spot for them on the floor.
Trying to act as nonchalant as he could, Wifies followed him, examining the interior. For sure he could distinguish a table buried under all sorts of blueprints and maps with a humble lamp settled on it all wrapped in duct tape, a simple chair with a leaning leg and, probably, a bed, or something that looked like it.
Besides the common objects for every-day use, Hummer's room had lots of machinery Wifies barely saw in his life. Some of them glowed numbers and tiny colorful lights in the dimness, some echoed with low mechanical humming or electricity buzzing. Made sense Hummer had another bed in the outer room, this place must be hell to sleep in.
Wifies could guess what are those for: a seismograph-looking one was probably a seismograph, but knowing Hummer it could be doing pretty much anything he needed it to do, so Wifies decided not to guess any further.
"I had- ah, have a coffee pot somewhere around here, just give me a minute."
Rummaging through the paper stuff on the table, then on the floor, then through the uncanny dusty glass jars in the cabinets, reopening every shelf a dozen of times, Hummer failed miserably finding anything in here, but kept looking. Based on the number of mugs occupied the whole table, maybe Hummer never had a coffee pot in the first place; Wifies could definitely see him making drinks for himself right in those cups…
The search for the coffee pot that may or may not even exist promises to be a long one, and there's no way Wifies would benefit from that. Not when Hummer's getting that nervous over nothing — moreover, Wifies seriously doubted he had any coffee at all.
"Hummer. Hummer, calm down please," Wifies caught his twitching shoulder, holding him in place. A pile of different yellowed papers and folders almost slipped out of Hummer's hands from a sudden halt, but he managed to keep his balance and stood still, awkwardly fidgeting with the watch strap on his wrist. "Let's forget about the coffee for now."
"Agreed." Hummer shrugged. He fixes sheets in his hands into one straight stack before putting it on the edge of the table, and checks if the whole place looks cleaner after his invasion. It doesn't. Hummer sighs with exhaustion and leans on the table with his back, looking as sad as a man failed the cleanup could ever look. They both didn't have a single snack throughout the day, and still — trying to find something edible in here sounded more like a waste of time and energy, so they'd rather won't.
"So…" Wifies started slowly, taking a pile of definitely not trash from the chair and putting it carefully on the floor before collapsing on the unstable wooden surface right before Hummer. Hummer turns away, nervously fixing leather strap of the compass on his other wrist. They both knew where this was going. He can stop Wifies whenever he wants to. But will he? "What's about that book you threw away?"
"What?" Hummer's eyes widened for a second, as if Wifies accused him of something, but just a moment later look of realization softly fell onto his face. "Ah. No, I didn't throw it away. Just put it in a… more suitable place."
And then he fell silent once more, his eyes wandering everywhere around the room, but not touching Wifies' frame single time. It was hard to understand whether Hummer marked this topic as closed or just wanted to hear some following questions, so Wifies tried to take another careful step closer.
"Okay. Anything you want to make clear about it, or..?"
"No."
Sure he doesn't. Just like he didn't want to take Wifies to the museum and then did it anyway, and like he didn't want to show Wifies his ship, where later on almost got him killed by shoving a poor man into the suspicious elevator-like machine with barely any gear.
Stinging shivers went down Wifies' spine. He was okay with risking his life sometimes for the sake of knowledge, but recalling the feeling of cold water weighing him down, forcefully crushing him under several atmospheres of pressure while he struggled to find something he didn't know he was searching for, made his blood feel ice cold. Wasn't the nicest thing for Hummer to do. At least he pulled him, barely conscious, back just in time before he lost it somewhere on the bottom of the vulturous ocean. Wifies thought, that certainly could be the reason the ocean and him didn't end up being on good terms, repelling like two of the same magnetic forces.
"It was Levi." Hummer's fingers clenched the surface of the table so hard they gained the whitish tint on them. Apparently, Wifies was silent for so long, Hummer got scared that he's deciding whether to stay or not again, or maybe it's just his face exposed his every thought. "And that journal was my first ever report about him, when we first met. The only thing I had with me at the time, my work notebook I forgot to leave at home. I've never intended to come back."
"Weren't you supposed to feel… excited, or, I don't know, some kind of awe?" Wifies said, confused. Hummer frowned. "I thought searching for the Leviathan was your life's work, and I know I shouldn't have read it, but that report felt more like you were sca-"
"You don't understand."
Suddenly Hummer was right here, so close, kneeling before him as in a prayer. Piercing Wifies with his eyes through the glasses clouding up with eerie shapes again, both of his shaking hands were squeezing Wifies' palms so hard he almost felt numb; and despite stinging in his fingers, Wifies tried his best to tighten his grip back. Hummer won't be alone. It wasn't a promise, but a deal they silently agreed on.
"Levi, he's… he is my lifework. I was so happy meeting him, he made me see so much things I've never saw in my life. Beyond any human thought or emotion, and if I could, I've-" Hummer stuttered, shaking his head rapidly. "I'd wish for everyone to experience Levi, just like I did. I'd wish for you to meet him, Wifies, because you too are special. I know he will see in you the same appeal I saw."
"Hummer, I-"
"I am not done yet. I know what you have to say." Hummer emphasized every word, pronouncing them firmly to get Wifies to listen. Wifies responded with a nod, allowing him to keep going. "It's so hard to keep living, knowing that in the whole damn world I have no one to share him with. I've been through a lot when he chose me. Do you know why we met?"
Hummer paused. Wifies held his breath. Everything made sense, and lost it the same moment. The bond between Hummer and the Leviathan might be so much deeper and complicated than he thought at first, when he decided to respond to a well-made forgery Hummer came up with, looking for someone who could embrace the Leviathan.
But Wifies couldn't. And now they both were stuck in limbo, unable to let go of each other.
"I wanted to disappear. There was a reason why I asked my workplace to be sent here, so far away from people. To work as a marine scientist, you may think?" Hummer whispered, and his last sentence was soaked in sorrow. "…I wanted to end it. Quietly, giving them a reason to say 'oh, what a poor man, our best employee became a victim of an accident. Too bad we couldn't find the body to send to his family.' You do realize that you won't meet the Leviathan while having fun at the beach, right?"
Before Wifies knew it, dark fluffy curls already were timidly resting on his knees. Grip on his hands has softened too.
He was lost. It was easy to figure out that something was utterly wrong with Hummer, that the reason for him to think he owes his own life to a mythical creature wasn't him being okay. Hummer's palpable need for help was so thick and obvious, Wifies felt it creeping within his skin. The Leviathan was hurting him more than he could ever hurt himself.
"Levi saved me. He was a blessing that I couldn't fully bear back then, I couldn't believe- no, realize, but now I know exactly what I need to do."
Always cautious, now desperate, Hummer exposed himself for Wifies to see just to hide in his arms, leaving no room for words, even the most humane ones. They both lacked something humane inside; is that what made them special?
"It's been so long, Wifies. I miss him so much."
And then he froze, like an ancient statue, bowing like a Greek God before Wifies' feet — what was Wifies to him? A muse, a stranger, a follower? Or a mere lucky moment, spent in oblivious bliss, holding onto I see you's, whispered without a word? Wifies could be anything to him, Wifies wanted to, if only Hummer could let him. What is a boundary to a man that never felt another's warmth?
Hummer has so many sides that are waiting for Wifies to uncover them. That softness beneath him, a fragile mind that yearns for acceptance is another mystery to unravel; Wifies could've never guessed that this is where the research would lead him. Somewhere, where the Leviathan was a plain metaphor of the impact it made on others. On a certain other.
All of this was not a confession Wifies expected, but Hummer started to breathe slower and calmer, so his concerns gladly meant nothing. Was he embarrassed, thinking now is too late to back off? His trembling fingers still lingered on top of Wifies', clinging, as if seeking for mere safety.
He didn't feel like the one who should give acceptance to Hummer, but if it would make him just a little bit better, Wifies will try. He manages a little movement, and-
"Sorry. I'm so sorry. It was a misunderstanding. Please, forget what I just said… or did… Forget this whole day, please." Hummer rambled, his voice cold and quiet, so different from how he was reciting his revelations, one after another. He jumped back on his feet so harshly, pressing himself against the table behind, and Wifies followed him as magnetized, getting up so fast the chair swayed and scrawled its wooden legs across the floor with ugly noise.
Hummer lowered his head, allowing his locks to hide his distressed face away. In the shade of the dark room the glowing of his glasses shone through, drawing Wifies' attention with much greater force than ever before. Lenses filled with uneven shapes changing colors and merging one into another, so bright and dense it was impossible to see an inch through them.
Those didn't matter anymore. Wifies got it, Hummer overflowing with one single emotion made them behave weird, but it was nothing more than a conversation for later which now will only add fuel to the fire of uneasiness Hummer had to endure, and Wifies had to take from him somehow.
"I promise you, it's okay." Wifies breathed out, but Hummer's stone-cold face didn't change a bit. He didn't lean into, nor did he turn away from Wifies invading his personal space. So he reached out, slowly, scared of making Hummer uncomfortable. Both of his hands approached Hummer's cheeks, tried a subtle touch, made space when he flinched, and froze for a simple moment, letting Hummer get used to the closeness. "I'm sorry you had to explain it to me, but I'm glad you did."
Then, right after Hummer took a deep, shaky breath instead of answering sweet dulcet words, Wifies caressed his temples with his fingertips — just to pull his glasses off. Colorful lenses faded the same moment they were separated from their owner, but Wifies couldn't care less when right in front of him Hummer's face was finally revealed.
He was scared, now Wifies could clearly see it. The desperation from Hummer's voice never disappeared, it just withered into quiet humility of understanding he did way too much before the eyes of a person who shouldn't care. He was scared to know that Wifies actually does, and his little plan of perishing unnoticed fell through the very day he avowed before the whole world that it was wrong about finding the Leviathan. And to Wifies, it never made Hummer feel like a burden.
If he needs a solid evidence of Wifies staying, he will make sure to give enough of it.
Sliding his gaze up and down every inch of Hummer's slender face, Wifies amazedly absorbed everything he could see. Without such significant part of his identity, Hummer looked vulnerable, stripped of his thin protection even, fully exposed to Wifies' close watch. So much different. Even his shoulders did straighten up, forcing Wifies to look at him from the bottom up, and finally be able to comprehend his natural height, another small detail of his Wifies was happy to acknowledge.
"Can you… look at me? Please?" Wifies said, but instead of his steady voice only whispers came out. He saw the way Hummer's eyebrows twitched at the soft asking, how he moved his lips a little, gathering the strength to say something,
"I'm not a big fan of making eye contacts, you know."
"I have something important to say." Wifies wasn't quite sure how these two things were related, but for some reason it worked for Hummer. He hesitated for a moment or two, and then his eyelashes fluttered up, revealing for Wifies beautiful deep amber color. So captivating yet unnatural; it was the first time Wifies saw his eye color so well, and it made him hold his breath for a second before speaking again. "Whatever you think of yourself," Hummer flinched, knowing already where this speech is about to go, but Wifies softly held his chin in place. "And whatever you think Levi has changed in you. Don't forget that everything you have now, everything you got through and everything that led you to this exact point was made by your hands and your brilliant mind. And no one would've lived your life better than you."
"But Levi-"
"Shh." Wifies' fingertip touched his lips slightly, making Hummer shut. "Not now."
Barely noticeable Hummer nodded, so Wifies replied with a little comforting smile. Levi can wait. They both need it right now — to be as close as they can be, and anything that will come next they can leave for future themselves to deal with.
There wasn't ever a man who stirred the same feelings within Wifies' mind just as much as Hummer did. He had companions before, he even had partners and friends, but Hummer was neither of them; someone, who Wifies has yet to discover. And if that discovery will remain existing solely inside old walls of messy bedroom, Wifies would agree if it's a requirement for them to happen.
Wifies slides his hands down Hummer' face, caresses his neck, goes across the shoulder to finally reach his scrawny wrist, as soft as usual. This couple of days was really complicated for both of them, from Hummer for the first time meeting someone reliable, who could match with his passion, who cared; to Wifies, meeting Hummer. Something new for him to understand, when everything else seemed too dull, losing colors and meaning. Someone, who willed to help just as much as needed to be helped himself.
Taking Hummer's hands in his, Wifies played with bandaged fingers, trying to get him to unwind. Tapes felt new; Hummer must've hurt himself not so long ago. Whatever he had to say, Levi was damaging him, both physically and mentally, so Wifies wondered if having him around will change that any time soon. And even if the Leviathan is real, would Hummer seeing it again be enough for him to finally quit?
Gently, Wifies pressed Hummer's palms to the back of his head, making Hummer instinctively tangle his fingers in Wifies' short hair. When he, all shaky, started clumsily undo the knot on Wifies' headband, he held a laugh, as that wasn't what he meant at all, but let Hummer try anyway — glasses for the headband seemed like a good deal, and it felt nice too. Wifies had no intention to ruin the moment.
His own hands dropped somewhere behind Hummer's back, on the table, enclasping him in a light hug, and helping himself to stand still without leaning too much into Hummer's embrace. Which would be really enjoyable of course, but Wifies still needed to be composed, at least the tiny bit.
"Can I kiss you?" He whispered inches from Hummer's face, instantly giving up his composure. Hummer shivered, but remained the eye contact clear. Maybe, just once allowing his eyes drop a little lower.
"You… of course you can."
So Wifies did. Pressing his lips against Hummer's, he felt oceanic salt flavored with the grief, sharp wind from the shore, and taste of his desperate breath. Hummer finally relaxed, letting that kiss linger. Then another one. And one more. Wifies wanted to kiss him until his chapped lips become soft again, wanted to take all the saltiness and trade it for every bit of sweetness he could give.
His headband fell loose on top of his eyes after long minutes of Hummer's struggling, and then, finally, Wifies could feel an awkward smile appearing on Hummer's lips still busy with his own; a smile so meaningful he knew only ocean's foam had ever seen it.
Another day will pass. Then a couple more. There's so much things for them to do — would any of that change if they knew for sure that Leviathan is out there, somewhere?