Chapter Text
Sorcevalier: The Rising of Tsukasa Tenma
Act 1
Tsukasa has admired knights ever since he had been a child. Their uniforms granted them an air of dignity and authority while they were just the coolest when they swung their swords. Their movements were graceful as they protected the people. To Tsukasa Tenma they were beacons of hope. They protected and fought for what is right.
After he had seen a knighting he knew he wanted to be up there one day.
He will be a man who protects the ones who are unable to fight. With a raised sword he will fight for what is right and destroy all the evil in this world. What is wrong, he will make right. By being a shining symbol he will spread happiness among the people of his kingdom. After all, if all evil is eradicated and all the injustices dismantled, then all can be happy and smile.
Seeing his sick sister struggle to get out of her bed on bad days he knew there were people who needed protecting. He also learned that the world is not a just one. Not much could be done to help her and had their family less funds she would have passed without being given a single chance at living.
Repeatedly he asked the god they were all supposed to worship just why she had to suffer the way she did. Why is she enduring this pain? Why did he get born healthy while she wasn’t? Nothing of it was fair at all.
He ran around town with a stick in hand. If he saw other children get bullied he would run to their aid. Not always did it end well and he ended up on the receiving end of their violence. Groups of children and those who were older he had no chance against. Dirtied and hurting he had to make the shameful track home.
As a child he could not do much. Neither could he enforce justice nor could he change his beloved sister’s reality. All he could offer was company and distraction to her and taking the pain unto himself for others. Tsukasa was powerless to the world around him. He knew that.
But no matter how many times he landed with his face in the dirt, the desire for justice could never be quelled from his heart. It kept burning with each day and every smile, as small or hesitant as it may be only reinforced it. No matter how painful, he vowed, he will make a change. The other children and adults alike may laugh at him for his “childish dreams” but nothing was able to deter the burning inside him.
Perhaps it was fate.
He grew used to being laughed at. They all said he’d “grow out of it one day”. Only being seen as a child even as his body slowly grew, he knew how far away his dream is. It is likely he’d never make it. But even so giving up was never an option and so he continued on undeterred. Others can laugh all they want, for his dream he will fight. He may cry and bleed but knowing it is for his dream it is a cherished experience.
But even when he aimlessly swung his sword for his training he remained a helpless child. When the adults decided on something, he had to follow.
He needed to grow up and become strong.
He will be the strongest who will change the world.
He will make it all better he vowed.
If he was honest, he did not even have a clear picture of what this just world was supposed to look like.
And so he tirelessly trained even if he had no idea what he was even doing.
That was how Tsukasa Tenma ended up taking the path of a knight.
He likes to think that all of it was fate.
Far too much has happened that it is dizzying. After countless sneers he made a friend.
Sometimes in life there are fateful encounters. He’d like to think of his with Rui as one of such. The mage was anything but easy and yet he quickly grew attached. The threats of their fate intertwined, connecting them with a bond that can never be severed and the knight would not have it any other way.
Their bond was much deeper than one bound by love.
He was seen and taken seriously. He was able to be there for somebody, to change the world of the person most important to him. And in turn, his hand was being taken so gently as he was smiled at for the first time.
Both of their solitary existences have come to an end.
Since he is done with his training Tsukasa has been sent to many missions. He’d regularly have to leave his sorcerer but he likes to think that the time apart only makes him more thrilled for when he does come back.
Another mission has been placed in his care and by now Tsukasa is sure he is slowly starting to gain both the trust and the respect of his superiors.
“Do not do anything reckless,” Rui warns him, being far too perceptive as always. He truly knows him too well, Tsukasa sighs. Another stack of books is moved and slowly, but surely, order is coming back to the man’s quarters.
“I won’t,” He reassures, “Cannot make you cry now, can I?”
Rolling his eyes, Rui smiles: “Oh, are we trying to play the strong man now?”
Rui can already guess the answer from the way Tsukasa puffs his chest out. A smug grin is slipping unto his face but before he can say anything Rui takes his chance to land a jab: “For a strong man you were very afraid of the ladybug landing on your shoulder last week.”
“Ugh…!”
It was a critical hit. Inwardly patting himself on the back the sorcerer is now the one to grin. Having moved away the last few books, he is contend with the cleaning he has done. As much as he despises cleaning he does have to keep a certain level of order for his room to remain comfortable.
Wiping his hands down on his gown Rui watches the embarrassed glint Tsukasa oh so desperately tries to hide. With his arms crossed before his chest he tries oh so hard to seem cool and collected.
“How about you stay the night?” Rui offers, satisfied at the state of his room. While it isn’t up to Tsukasa’s standard he knows that this is enough for the knight to cease complaining. Truly, sometimes Tsukasa can act like a nagging mother. He appreciates the concern but his lover is too much of a worrywart at times.
“If my dearest offers how can I refuse?”
Rolling his eyes Rui smiles at him: “Really now? No need to hide your excitement. Normally you are the one to always want to spend the night together.”
“Of course I’d want to spend time with my partner!” He huffs, crossing his arms once again, “Especially now that I have duties that are forcing us apart, the time with you is more precious then ever!”
“Dramatic much?”
“Only stating the truth, I am afraid.”
“Well then...” Rui grins, “We have to make the best of it.”
Every day Tsukasa can see the situation of the kingdom become more dire. The vitriol between the two kingdoms are rising and rising, never cooling down. Provocation after provocation is performed, goating the other to declare war. With each mission he completes the more obvious the future becomes.
Tsukasa knew that this was bound to happen but he still hoped for things to turn out differently.
He wanted a better future for Rui, for him to never have to do what he feared so much he rather ended his life.
But just like the little child that played knight he is helpless to change any of it.
All he can do is become stronger and more influential so one day he may be able to change the world.
The bells are tolling.
Strong winds beat his hair from one direction to another. Feeling the mana lingering in the air Rui breathes it in like oxygen. The bells continue echoing even as he steps out further away from the castle. If he could he’d flee. He knew that this day would come.
If somebody were to ask Rui he’d say the sound of them was ominous. He knew that something had to be up for them to echo throughout the land. It is like the bells tolling for a funeral. And if the sorcerer holds true with his intuition it is close to it. The death of many are to come. Even the death of the land may follow.
Letting the wind cradle his face Rui stares straight ahead. Lost in his thoughts he even forgets to walk on.
“Rui!” It is the voice of Tsukasa that has him wake from his stupor. Running up to him the face of the blond is stern. So he is truly right with his assumptions.
“The day has finally come, am I right?” He questions looking up to the church bells. Their sound is irritating and depressing at the same time. Tsukasa nods at him, his face betrays a hint of sadness as well. While it has been Tsukasa’s conscious decision from the start to be part of this war he empathizes with the man who never had a choice. As strong of a man as Rui is, his heart is delicate and far too fragile for such violence.
“It is fine,” He reassures him as the blond takes his hand in his, “I have a cause to fight for as well. I am no longer afraid. If fate has it I will even accompany you to the depths of hell.”
With a smile the other scowls: “While I appreciate the sentiment I would hope we do not land in hell. Do you truly think of us as this deplorable?”
Chuckling the mage squeezes his hand: “I do not, but we can never know. God is scowling down at us after all.”
Tsukasa simply shakes his head at that. He cannot prevent a smile from slipping unto his face: “Since when do you care? You don’t even believe in the scriptures.”
“I do not. But even if they happen to be correct, I wouldn’t mind. It might sound naive, but you have rubbed off on me, so I am optimistic. As long as we are together even hell would be heaven.”
His smile is serene, its warmth overwhelming the poor knight. With his face turning red he looks around their environment before he clutches the mage’s hand even tighter. And in secret he is stealing away a quick kiss, that, even in its shortness, was filled with equal warmth as his smile.
“No matter what will happen, we will stay together,” Tsukasa promises. And it is more than just that, there is absolute certainty in his very being. It is like destiny that cannot be changed.
Shortly after the troops start marching they are being pulled apart once again.
Rui can do nothing as he has to watch his knight leave. He will be back, he is certain of it, but it doesn’t change the fact that he will dearly miss his lover. For now he is a sitting duck. Going about his routine at the castle it is as though barely anything has changed.
He is the kingdom’s trump card so his deployment will be much later. Tsukasa, however, is just one knight of many to them. While he may have racked up some commendable accomplishments he isn’t seen as anything special.
War changes people and Rui dearly hopes it won’t be able to dim his light. His naive but beautiful knight.
But even so he will greet him with open arms when he finally comes back to him.
With a scowl Tsukasa is eating his rations. It is bland and dry as hell and all it does is worsen his mood further. Not only is he missing his partner but the weather is terrible as well. Rain is making the ground muddy, making it a hell to sludge through. But he supposes he should be glad his first deployment is not at the front. Taking the rear his troupe is supposed to ensure a safe handover of supplies for the troupes at the front. Food, water, medical supplies and more is being carried by them. It is heavy and makes the track all the more grueling but luckily Tsukasa has trained his body enough to keep up.
Tomorrow they will finally arrive after two weeks of walking on foot. Even though they are exhausted the hardest part is coming up when they finally get there. Enemies could attack or some other nefarious plans could have been concocted in advance. The job is not without risk and he tells himself to not get reckless. It is far too easy to shut off his brain and keep walking. With the exhaustion of his body his mind has become tired as well.
As they continue to push forward a fellow knight stumbles and falls. The cargo he carries scatter before him. His face is discouraging to say the least. Exhaustion, shame and frustration mix in his face as he struggles to get up. All their comrades keep on marching, figuring him to get up in a moment. Perhaps they don’t care if he is to get up. Far too tired to care for others as well they have to focus on moving forward themselves. The man, however, fails and his face lands in the mud as his hands slipped on the slippery surface. He stops moving after as though accepting defeat.
“Come on… You can do it,” Tsukasa finds himself encouraging the young man. His face slowly raises as his eyes stare intently at him. It is quite the pitiful display with the mud all over his face.
“Here,” Tsukasa extends his hand for the knight to grab. After a little hesitation he does and the two manage to get him back up on his feet. Putting the supplies on his back again Tsukasa turns around to move on. A thank you is muttered and the man continues to march on beside him.
Even though they are tired they find the energy to chat a little and put their minds off of their march.
At night, after camp has been set, Tsukasa flops down with a sigh. He won’t be up for long before he will go to bed and let another grueling day come to a close. Not caring much to socialize with his fellow men, he rather enjoys is alone time. Later he will not have that luxury, for he will have to share the tent.
In his blissful relaxation he notices a shadow move before his tent and then a voice follows it a moment after it has grown big before the fabric: “Tenma-san? Can I come in?”
He recognizes the meek voice immediately.
“Come in,” He answers with a smile, finding himself not mourning his lost alone time all that much. Perhaps some company will do him good actually, their chat from the day was a pretty fulfilling one after all. Unlike his fellow colleagues he was quite pleasant to talk to.
The figure hesitates for a moment before it steps inside.
If Tsukasa had to be honest, he’d say the man is too young to be here. He himself is still very young to be here as well, but the boyish face and mannerisms of the other tell him that he is even younger than he is.
“Is there something you wished to talk to me about? Or have you come by to chat so more?” Tsukasa questions, sitting up a little bit more straight. Even if he feels relaxed around the boy, he still has an image to uphold as the future star knight. Patting the ground beside him, his silent invitation stands.
“Well…” The boy mutters, sitting down as though still unsure this is truly alright, “I wanted to thank you for your help today. Exhausted as I was, I was pretty much ready to give up, but your encouragement brought at least some comfort into this horrible day of mine. So… thank you.”
Not even daring to look at his eyes, a small part of Tsukasa is amused while the rest of him is genuinely moved by the words given to him.
“Don’t mention it,” He grins, slapping his back, “That is what comrades are for!”
It may be hypocritical of him to say, seeing as he never experienced any camaraderie outside of Rui, but in this instance, his false confidence will not only do him but the other good as well.
“I am glad that I am not alone. To be honest, I am very afraid of it all.”
His smile is a strained one, Tsukasa can see the effort it takes for him to retain it. Hands move up to hug himself in a poor attempt at comfort and the knight thinks that he too, is a little afraid. His mouth remains closed for he doesn’t know what to tell the young man.
“I trained to become a knight in order to look after my village. It is a small and remote one, so there is no real protection from bandits and criminals. I wanted to become that security for them, to keep out an eye and make it possible that they can happily live their lives without fear, but…” His voice trails off and he seems to be close to tears as he pushes on his smile even harder, the performance he desperately keeps not able to fool anybody, “… Now I am here instead.”
Looking down into his lap, Tsukasa swallows the lump in his throat.
“I feel like such a fool now.”
“No, you aren’t,” Tsukasa shakes his head, looking directly at the person beside him, “I admire true knights like yourself, they have become far too rare. I’d say my own intentions are not too far off from yours. I, after all, also became a knight to protect people and make them happy, but unlike you, I am greedy.”
A small laugh leaves Tsukasa at that. The scale of his dream is enormous and most people – regretfully rightfully so- call it an impossibility.
“I want to change this world, so I am not afraid of being here.”
Silence stretches itself out between them. The other knights can be heard merrily chatting away outside. No matter how grueling the march is, they somehow always find the ability to laugh and joke around by the end of the day.
“Can I truly change something? I feel like we are nothing but pawns.”
“Perhaps we are…” Tsukasa tells him, looking up at the ceiling of the tent. His feet ache from the arduous walk and yet he will only continue walking the next day.
“But I want to be more than what I am fated to be. I will not stop fighting until I have reached my goal.”
His gaze directed far away to his dream, he does not see it as a possibility but as his fated destination. No matter what he will continue marching towards it. Neither pain nor exhaustion can stop him for now that it is not only his own dream, but Rui’s as well, he is unstoppable. A dream that is shared, after all, is much more powerful than one held by just a single person. The voice he uses to project his vow is a strong one. It is likely more so a vow to himself than to the knight sitting beside him, but he can find himself rejoice as the other smiles at him: “You are really cool! With you here, I feel much safer!”
There is a saying that goes “everything that can go wrong, will go wrong”.
The rain has grown strong, soaking all of them to the bone. It is like a last slap given to them by the weather, a mocking little sneer from the world for their actions.
These times are trying times.
Catastrophe can strike at any moment, especially in times like these.
However, nobody did expect for the events to turn in such a way. Arrows whisk past him as Tsukasa attempts to flee from the engagement. Perhaps the rain is their luck, for targeting is a lot harder under these circumstance. However, how much targeting is necessary if you have a large flock of people before you? He wished they could attack them, but they are too high up to reach under these circumstances. All he can do is curse the fact that the enemy somehow has gotten knowledge of their mission. Just before they have reconnected with their allies, the enemy has routed them and now they are under attack. They need to flee and regroup, but now that chaos has erupted, everybody is left to run around like headless chickens.
He is still carrying the bag with supplies, even though it is slowing him down. Perhaps he would see himself as a failure if he didn’t, or a tactical part of his brain recognized that it will give him at least a little cover from the rain of arrows.
He can hear one bury itself into his backpack and yes, he is glad now that he has refused to lay it down. Some fall to the ground, hit by the fire. While some are lucky to still be alive, others fall without ever getting up again. Then again, how lucky can they be if they are either left to die or get finished off by the enemy later? But then the fire finally stops.
It is like the calm before the storm. Tsukasa’s heart is beating wildly, because he can feel it deep into his bones that this is no good sign. His feet have stopped for a moment as though he is attempting to ground himself, too afraid to run on ahead before he knows what is going on.
His soaked blond hair is covering his forehead as he looks around himself. His comrades flee, panic still potent all around him and he cannot lie, for he is just as panicked as them.
This was supposed to be a simple supply run, not whatever hell this has devolved to.
“Run! Enemy knights are coming from here!” He can hear a voice boom. Some come to a skittering halt as they discover that they escape route has done nothing but lead them right into the enemy’s arms.
“Fuck!” Tsukasa curses, finally picking himself up again to continue on another way. If he is able to go back a bit and not get hit by the arrows, he could flee through the small patch where the incline of the mountain is not too high. He’d be more than vulnerable during the climb, but fleeing any other way would be a death sentence. He’s either be mauled by the knights or get hit by the archers.
It is his only chance, isn’t it?
“Tsukasa!” A panicked voice reaches his ears as the young knight runs up to him, “What are we supposed to do now?”
Shivering from head to toe he can see the sheer terror and despair on his face.
“I have an idea! Come with me!” He tells him, grabbing his hand and leading him back along.
“But there are the archers! We can’t…. we…”
“It will be fine, believe me! I have a plan!”
He can barely see any of his allies anymore. Most have decided to engage with the knights, while he can see a few stray soldiers running through the rain of arrows again. They are too far away for his voice to reach them. There is nothing he can do anymore but try his best to save not only his skin but the one of the boy as well.
Tsukasa tries his best to shield the boy with him, but they have to be fast enough if they want to make it. He can hear another arrow hit his backpack before they can finally reach the blind spot of the archers. Carefully moving along there he presses the boy close to him as they reach the small incline.
“We are going to get up here. If we walk east we should be able to reach the main army,” He whispers to him, pushing him to start crawling up.
“O-Okay!” He stutters, beginning the climb. He doesn’t relent even though his boots continue to slip on the mud. Tsukasa finally lets his backpack fall to the ground as he too starts climbing. His feet slip over and over as he grabs unto the soil with all the power still left in him.
Once he even slips and falls, sliding down the mountain a bit again before he regains his grip and continues climbing. He is covered in mud from head to toe but that doesn’t matter as long as he is making it out of this alive. There is so much he has yet to do and he won’t let anybody take it away from him!
Slowly but steadily they make it, Tsukasa even sighs in relief as he can see more knights having the same idea as them and beginning their ascent as well. The incline is getting less steep and soon he can see the boy not having to crawl anymore and stand up.
He waits for Tsukasa to close up to him and smiles at him with tears in his eyes: “We made it!”
“Yeah,” He mutters, wiping some of the dirt from his face, “But we can only be safe once we get to the others.”
Face and hair both caked into mud he cares little about his entire form being covered in dirt. The rain is still pouring down at them as Tsukasa tries his best to look as far as he can up the rest of the hill.
“Should we wait for them to make it up as well?”
“I…” Tsukasa falters, “I don’t know.”
Time could be essential here. The enemy is bound to notice what they are doing and counter their strategy, but what if the danger is already lurking just past the mountain? Running ahead now could doom them.
His mind spinning he looks down at the soldiers climbing up.
What is the best choice?
“We…” His voice stutters just as his breath does, “We will go on ahead.”
The decision has been made and with every step Tsukasa’s heart is beating erratically. He just wants to escape this nightmare and go back home. Perhaps the stress is too much for him for as he runs on with the boy his mind can’t help but imagine being back home with Rui.
“There are more knights!”
The scream rips him out of his daydream, his mind fully alert again. Pushing the boy to the side he draws his word and deflects the first attack. All of this is happening far to quickly so that all he can do is trust into his own instinct and let his motions be carried by it. All the training with the blade shall push him through this. It is not many, he is able to note. Once the other knights make it up they have a realistic change to break through.
With a grunt he slashes the enemy right into the chest. They fall to the ground to never move again. It is not his first kill, but every time it still feels strange, wrong.
“Just push on!” He screams, hoping the boy hears him and will do it. Tsukasa wants to back him up and make sure he is alright, but he is fighting left and right, barely able to hold his own as his arm gets slashed by a blade. But the adrenaline pumping in his veins does not let him feel the pain. He carries on as though nothing has grazed him. If he were to hesitate it would be his end.
The moment feels far too long, it is as though he has been fighting forever until an enemy that was about to hit him from his right is pushed back. A sob of relief leaves his lips as he notices that they are no longer alone. How many have joined them, he cannot tell, but once all of them have made it they’ll be fine. All he has to do is push on.
It is nothing but absolute chaos, all strategy devolved into an all-out brawl as everybody desperately tries to survive. One mistake is enough to die and so he can feel a small pang of sympathy for his enemy as he can see him slip on the mud, giving him the opening to end his life. He doesn’t hesitate to take it and finally he is able to fall back for a moment.
His breath is heavy in his chest, the weight of it threatens to crush him as his lungs scream fro respite. It is then that he sees what he never wanted to witness.
Blood is spraying and the victim is unable to even utter a scream of pain as they crumble to the ground.
Nothing but terror pushes Tsukasa forward as tears fill his eyes. He runs up to the enemy. With the animosity of a beast unleashed from its cage he cuts him down and anybody who dares getting close until he notices the vicinity is clear.
The knights around him fight. He can hear their screams and the clash of their blades alike. Even the dull sounds of boots hitting the dirt can be heard over and over again. The front line is slowly, but steadily moving forward, pushing their enemy back.
But he cannot pay it any attention as the sword slips from his hands and he falls to his knees.
Even the strong rain is unable to wash this amount of blood away. The rain around them is deafening. It is as though it is shielding the two from the outside world. But all they will get is this one moment for it will break apart from the wind again.
His breath is strangled as Tsukasa holds him in his arms. With his airways being filled with blood he is slowly drowning. A strangled garble and a weak cough follow as he is unable to even muster the strength to fight. Blood is staining Tsukasa’s uniform as he tries to stop the bleeding. But both of them know that it is too late. The man will succumb to his injuries even before the blood is able to drown him.
Desperation claws at the blond’s heart. He pushes and tries but the knowledge he cannot ignore makes the tears rise.
“I… I’m sorry,” He mumbles, his voice strangled not only by his sobs but his regret as well, “I’m sorry…”
The eyes that are trained on him are empty. There is no crying, no desperation, only silent acceptance. All it takes is a moment and the light is gone. Just like that his comrade is no longer with him, leaving him with the fact that he utterly failed. Tsukasa Tenma has failed to protect his comrade. His words were nothing but empty comfort.
The taste is far too bitter as he lets go and stands up again, the sword is back in his hand.
With his heart empty he stumbles a step before he walks.
Blood and corpses litter the field.
The shadow his figure is throwing behind him is far too large.
Ceaselessly his legs move.
Moving forward is all he can do.
Death is a cruel concept, Tsukasa thinks after most of the corpses have been recovered. In lines they lie in a field dedicated to the end of life. Even while covered up, the sight manages to disturb something deep inside him.
Just seeing the ramifications of that day was enough to make him winded.
And one boy is resting in this field of corpses that he held when his life came to an end.
It is like the stain on the corner of your glasses. While it does not impede your sight, just by sitting there in the corner it is enough for you to focus on it. The annoyance makes it grow all the more relevant as you obsess over what is staining you. Only once it is gone can you go back to your regular life. But some stains cannot be erased.
The corner of Tsukasa’s mind has been irreparably stained.
While he has not failed spectacularly, he cannot deny that this mistake was enough for the scene to repeat over and over inside his mind. What good do good calls make if all it takes is one horrifically bad one to destroy it all? What could he have done? This question plagues his every waking moment and even his dreams it likes to take over.
If he had just decided differently than he would have still been here. He would not have his blood on his hands. Tsukasa made the wrong decision. He should have just waited for the other knights to arrive.
The eyes looking at him, the pained breaths and the dream that never came to fruition.
A small village that is forever left without their protector.
He recalls his little story, the safety he gave him only to fail him. He has promised something he could never fulfill.
Even once he gets home the image is still implanted inside his brain. No probing is necessary for it to resurface. It is like the end credit for a big production. It never seems to come to an end.
Awaiting him at home is Rui. Standing in the door he holds the door open for him. Just like always he is inviting him inside, a small smile on his face. Perhaps he is returning it or he isn’t, Tsukasa can’t tell right now. Even so, Rui does not seem bothered. Nothing has changed with him. His smile and face are the same, even his hair is of the same length. He is here, like he always is, and right now he seems like some kind of a mirage.
Words fail him as he follows him. His shoulders are slumped even before he is finally inside. The face Tsukasa shows him once he gets home is not the usual one, but one hardened by pain and Rui will never fail to miss it.
Rui smiles at him: “It is fine, come here.”
Gently he guides him by his hands to follow his invitation. Rui’s hands are soft as they always were. He, after all, was a sorcerer and not a knight whose hands grow calloused from the regular abuse they suffer. A small part of him feels inferior but he squashes the thought at once.
Further inside they go until Rui coaxes him into the couch that is unusually book free. The cushion is soft and the spot comfortable. Guilt is still gnawing at his soul as he wonders if there was one possible future where that scared boy got to live.
He doesn’t know if a different call would have saved him. And that alone somehow feels like another failure on his part.
The couch to his side shifts and in no time at all Rui is leaning into his side. And even if he cannot smile right now, there is something so deeply grounding to it he finds himself melting all the harder into it. He wants to cling to his dear sorcerer and never let go. His sweet partner that is here beside him despite all that has happened.
Even if there was one tragedy he could not prevent, there was another one he could at least. This thought is the comfort he has to cling to.
And with that thought the grip of his hands grow the slightest bit tighter.