Chapter Text
Two men entered a shady looking motel. They exchanged short words with the receptionist before obtaining a room and quickly making their way to it.
They managed to finally catch a break from the constant cops chasing them. Thankfully they managed to catch a break after a shotty dye job, making both men blond. Even if it didn't compliment a certain one of their skin tones.
The taller of the pair, Bugs, threw himself on the mattress with a sigh.
"Can I shower please?" the second of this duo, Daffy begged.
"I mean unless you want me showering with you I don't feel like getting up," Bugs smirked.
Daffy on the other hand grew red with embarrassment. "Will you quit with that!"
"Unless you can find a way to get this chain tying us together off of our ankles, we're gonna stay just like this" Bugs took a bite of a random carrot he had.
Daffy blew out air and huffed, "Fine! I will… eugh…" He gagged. "sleep on the dirty mattress"
"See, showerin' would be pointless" Bugs smirked.
"I hate you," Daffy huffed.
"Luv ya too Daff" Bugs blew a kiss at him.
Bugs then made room on the bed for Daffy join him.
Bugs stared at the ceiling of the motel room admiring it's dingy appearance and several air bubbles. How wonderful, they would be crushed by caving in ceiling in their sleep. This is definitely what he's spent his entire life in Hollywood working for, being a childhood star, so, so worth staying in this dingy motel, hotel thing :D
He still wished they would just go back to jail and wait the month they needed to serve, but whatever. Daffy just had to run off, so he went too as is natural with the two of them. But being there made him think…
Well that was the whole point of jail, wasn't it? To think?
But he wasn't thinking about whatever stupid crime he got blamed for because Daffy was making a scene in court.
No, he was thinking something else…
Bugs turned to his side and looked at Daffy, who was trying to sleep in the uncomfortable (and probably moldy) bed. His hair still bleached. Why he decided to bleach it a horrible-looking blond is beyond him. How he got Bugs to do it too was even more beyond him.
"Daff." He whispered to the man, who didn't answer and instead mumbled in his sleep. So Bugs shook him a little. "Daff. Hey Daffy. Wake up."
"I'M A WIZARD!" Daffy yelled as he shot up in bed. "Stay back pigs! I got lightning powers!!" Daffy waved his hands around dramatically making Bugs chuckle a bit.
"Daff, the cops aren't here."
He turned to him. "Then why did you wake me up?"
"Because I have a question."
"Oh great," Daffy complained as he threw himself back on the mattress, making them both bounce a bit, "another late night question. No I won't love you if you were a worm. I'll just eat you. Unless I was a worm too. Then we'll talk."
"It's not the worm question again. It's something more serious."
"What is it? Can you peel an orange for me?"
"No."
"Do you see that bird?"
"No!"
"Then what is it?" He asked, exasperated.
"Daff, do you… Do you want kids?"
Daffy froze at that, staring at him wide-eyed.
"Daffy, are you okay?" Bugs asked, anxiously.
"Uhm… why do you ask?"
"I-I don't know." Bugs shrugged. "I've just been thinking about it, y'know?"
"I guess…"
"So do you want kids? Or just one?"
Daffy hesitated. "I already let you get a dog."
"Kids aren't dogs, Daffy." Bugs insisted, sitting up now. "They're two entirely different things."
"Are they? They both smell, are loud, very annoying, make messes everywhere, and are cute only to their owners, which I think is just because they look like them. Oh! And they-"
"I get it, Daff." Bugs said in an annoyed tone and laid back down, though this time with his back towards Daffy. "You don't want em. Night."
Daffy stared at Bug's back, feeling a pit of guilt settling in his stomach. Which, for him, was pretty rare to feel.
He sighed. "Look I… I just don't think I built for parenthood, Bugs."
Bugs didn't turn around.
"I mean, I don't think either of us are… I mean, look at our families. They suck. And now we're a little loony in the head. How are we supposed to raise a non-loony child when we are?"
Bugs turned to face him now. "We could try. Maybe we might do a good job."
"Maybes and trying aren't fair or good enough. I heard 'we're doing our best' and "we're trying" too many times to count. So I say no."
"I… I guess that's fair… But you don't want to do something that has to do with something more than ourselves?"
"Yeah, that's why I wanted to be an actor. But obviously that was a bust." Daffy explained in a sour tone.
Bugs looked at him sadly. After being fired so many times he guessed he couldn't blame the man for still being upset.
"You could always try again." he said quietly.
"No. I'm done with the acting thing." He said bluntly. "I'm just going to go with becoming a wizard thing and see where that gets me. Or become Batman."
Bugs chuckled a little. "Yeah. Sounds like great life goals."
"Yyyyep!" He said, popping the "p". "It's my true life mission."
"Can I be Robin then?"
"Mm… you might need to fill out an application. And get an interview."
"Can you do it now?"
"Sure. What's the capital of Idaho?"
"Boise," He quickly answered.
"EHHH!" Daffy did a buzzer sound.
"What? That's right!"
"Exactly. Whoever has the capital of Idaho memorized is someone who is truly despicable! Someone like you!" Daffy yelled dramatically and booped Bugs on the nose.
Bugs laughed more. "I'm so sick of you!"
"Nah, you love me!"
Bugs smiled, wrapped his arm around the other man, resting his head on his chest, hearing the steady thumping of his heart. "I do. No matter what."
Daffy wrapped his arms around Bugs as well with a small smile on his face. "Good night.
"Good night."
The two soon drifted off to sleep in each other's arms, then waking up the next day to continue whatever shenanigans they had gotten themselves into with the cops this time.