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This was horrible. Absolutely horrible.
Well, not that it was life-ending or anything.
Akito had known exactly what kind of room they'd booked. He had been there when Toya made the reservation for a twin room—he'd looked at the pictures, and had even agreed that two separate beds would be perfectly fine.
They were already going to spend their time together anyway, like what they've always done, so what did it matter if they slept separately?
It wasn't as though they hadn't slept in the same room before. They'd had countless sleepovers, and his partner had spent enough nights at his house for Akito to know precisely how his partner slept, right down to the usual times he'd sleep and the fact that he was almost impossible to wake once he was properly asleep.
Two beds were what normal people booked when they were traveling together and were sharing a room with their best buddy.
Except Toya has been far more than just being his "best buddy" for quite some time now.
So naturally, Akito hated them.
The worse part was probably the fact that between the two beds were two nightstands and a row of outlets on the wall. Which means there was no way for them to push the beds together easily.
And they were sure as hell not going to be moving around furniture after a fourteen hour flight and dealing with the woes of international travel.
He sat on the edge of his bed, rubbing a towel through his damp hair with considerably more aggression than necessary. The hotel room was pleasantly cool after their showers, the air conditioners having had an hour—give or take—to run.
Their suitcases sat open near the entrance, their bags of assorted necessities for their flight had been dumped onto the desk, and Toya's bed was nearly pristine. Toya hadn't even sat on it, let alone did anything to rumple up the sheets.
Akito scrubbed the towel over his head again, then stopped when he nearly poked himself in the eye. He scowled at his reflection in the darkened television screen, where his damp hair stuck up in several directions and his expression made him look like he was contemplating a murder.
It wasn't like he wanted to do anything weird. He just wanted to sleep beside his partner. They were in a foreign country, in a hotel room neither of them had stayed in before, after a long flight that had left them both exhausted.
Sure, it wasn't unreasonable to want a little physical affection before going to sleep. He liked having Toya close, and that was an understatement. He loved the warmth of ahis partner beside him, the comfortable weight of Toya's arm around his waist, and the way he could wake up in the middle of the night and find Toya still clinging onto him so comfortably.
He had absolutely no problem being physically affectionate with Toya.
Usually.
Apparently, the prospect of asking his partner to share a bed with him was enough to make him feel like the world's biggest idiot.
It wasn't even about anything particularly embarrassing. He didn't want to do anything. He didn't want to start anything. He just wanted to sleep next to Toya, preferably with their shoulders pressed together and Toya's hands somewhere within reach.
The fact that they were in an entirely different country, in a hotel room they would only occupy for a few nights, somehow made the thought even more appealing. They had spent the entire day traveling, and now they were finally alone.
Why the hell were they going to spend that time sleeping separately?
Because you booked a room with two beds, dumbass.
So unfortunately, admitting any—and he meant any—of that out loud would require Shinonome Akito to acknowledge that he was needy and clingy.
Yeah, no. He would rather shoot himself with a gun.
Besides—Toya hadn't said anything about sharing a bed. He seemed perfectly content with the arrangement, and Akito wasn't about to make a big deal out of something he'd agreed to himself.
It wasn't Toya's fault that Akito had apparently developed an entirely unreasonable attachment to what he'd like in his personal space. Or, more accurately, to Toya occupying his personal space… and vice versa.
"You're going to give yourself a headache if you keep drying your hair like that," Toya commented as he emerged from the bathroom, dressed in comfortable sleepwear with his own hair still slightly damp.
He paused beside Akito's bed, his expression carrying the gentle amusement that always made Akito want to curl up and squeal like a middle-schooler with a crush.
"I'm dryin' it," he grumbled, giving his hair one last vigorous rub before pulling the towel away. "That's generally how it works."
Toya' smile softened. "I can see that."
"Then why'd ya say anything?"
"Because you're going to bed looking like you've been attacked by a particularly aggressive cat."
Akito shot him a glare, but Toya was already laughing quietly as he reached for the hairbrush he'd left on the desk. The sound made warmth swirl in his chest.
Gods, he was so stupid. Stupidly, stupidly down bad.
Toya could say practically anything in that soft, fond voice of his—reserved for Akito and Akito only—and Akito would bend over backwards just for him.
Which was precisely why Akito had no intention of asking him to share a bed. He had dignity, he had pride. He was an independent human being capable of sleeping on his own perfectly comfortable mattress without being an annoying, clingy person.
He finished drying his hair, threw the towel over the back of a chair, and got up to brush his teeth. When he returned, Toya was standing near the foot of Akito's bed, looking at him with an expression Akito couldn't quite decipher.
He stared at him for a moment before deciding not to investigate. He was tired, and if Toya wanted to stand there thinking his mysterious little thoughts, that was his business.
Akito sat on the edge of the bed (facing towards the bed with his feet folded criss-cross-apple-sauce rather than dangling over the edge), stretching a little when—
He felt a pair of arms wrap around him from behind. Toya's chest pressed lightly against his back, and his hands rested around Akito's waist with a familiarity that made the irritation he'd been cultivating all evening dissolve.
"Yo," he managed, twisting his head up and around just enough to look at him. His heart was still recovering from the surprise, but the familiar warmth against his back made his shoulders relax almost immediately.
"Hiii…" Toya answered, his voice soft and sleepy against the back of Akito's head, sleepier than it had been a while before. Akito could feel the faint brush of his cheek against his damp hair.
Akito blinked. He knew that voice. He'd heard it many times before—late-night calls with Toya when it was clear he had been previously asleep, the mornings of their sleepover when Akito would need to pry himself out of Toya's grasp.
"Whatcha doin', dude?" Akito asked, trying to sound casual despite the fact that his body had already started itching to fully turn around to grab Toya's wrists and pull him closer.
His arms tightened a little around Akito's waist, and he tucked his face more comfortably against the side of his neck before answering. "I wanna sleep with you…"
Oh.
Oh.
This absolute menace.
Akito felt the heat rush straight into his face. For one glorious moment, he forgot how to speak, his brain completely derailed by the fact that Toya had just said exactly what he'd been too much of a coward to admit wanting for the past hour.
He had forgotten, somehow, that he was dating the most earnest and honest person on the planet.
Toya had never been particularly good at pretending he wanted something other than what he wanted, and he had even less of a tendency to hide it when it came to Akito. If he wanted to hold his hand, he held it. If he wanted to hug him, he hugged him. If he missed him after a few hours apart, he said so without the slightest hesitation.
And if he wanted to share a bed with his boyfriend, he just walked up behind him and said it—as shown.
But one thing Toya was absolutely horrible at was being selfish.
Akito swallowed, desperately trying to regain control of his burning face. "You have your own bed, y'know?"
The question sounded considerably more accusatory than Akito had intended.
He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, wishing he could grab the words out of the air and shove them back into his mouth. He really hadn't meant to sound like he was objecting. He wasn't objecting. He was, in fact, desperately hoping Toya would ignore every stupid thing he had just said and continue hugging him.
Toya, unfortunately, took the question at face value.
God fucking damn it.
His arms loosened around Akito's waist. He began to draw back, giving Akito room to turn around, and the sudden absence of that gentle pressure made Akito's stomach sink.
"Ah." Toya drew back a little, and when Akito glanced over his shoulder, he found his expression turning apologetic. "I'm sorry, Akito— I wasn't trying to make you uncomfortable. I suppose I'm… quite tired, and I wasn't thinking straight."
His hands fell away from Akito's waist as he began to retreat, already preparing to return to his own bed. "It's fine. I understand."
There was no disappointment in Toya's voice, not really. He wasn't sulking or trying to guilt him into agreeing. He was simply accepting what he thought was Akito's preference—because of course he was.
\Which was sweet, and incredibly thoughtful. It was one of the many reasons Akito loved him.
It was also going to make Akito tear his own hair out.
This guy…
Something inside Akito snapped.
Not in an angry way. In the way a rubber band snapped after being stretched too far, except the rubber band in question was his remaining ability to maintain a shred of dignity around the person he loved most in the world.
He turned around, caught Toya by the front of his shirt, and pulled him back before the taller could take more than a single step. Toya barely had time to register what was happening before Akito wrapped both arms around him and toppled them both onto the mattress.
They landed in a tangled heap on the mattress, the springs of the very comfy bed bouncing beneath them. Akito took advantage of the moment to bury his face against Toya's chest, hiding the absolutely mortifying expression he could feel spreading across his face.
"Dumbass…" Akito muttered, his face burning so badly he was fairly certain he could've heated the entire hotel room with it. He tightened his arms around Toya's middle, refusing to let him go now that he'd finally gotten what he wanted. "When did I say you were makin' me uncomfortable?"
Toya went completely still.
Akito kept going. "I told ya before you can be selfish, yeah? So… just do it. If ya wanna do it, then just do it." he said.
He could practically feel the moment his partner processed what had happened. The hesitation disappeared from Toya's body and replaced by a sudden, almost startling eagerness.
As people say—you give an inch and they'll take a mile.
When Akito finally risked lifting his head, Toya was looking at him with such a delighted expression, his eyes were practically lit up.
Toya's eyes had gone wide, all the sleepy uncertainty and guilty haze draining away to reveal a sudden, bright happiness that made them practically sparkle. His lips parted in surprise, and then his entire face softened into a smile so open and delighted that Akito felt something inside his chest fold in on itself.
And the fact that Akito was apparently responsible for that expression made his entire face heat up all over again.
"Mmph. Stop looking at me like that," Akito grumbled, immediately burying his face against Toya's chest to escape the unbearable sight.
Toya let out a quiet, delighted laugh. His arms came around Akito again, this time without the slightest hesitation, and he held him with such obvious affection that Akito could feel himself melting despite every effort to continue feigning ignorance.
One hand settled against the back of Akito's head, gently running through his hair, while the other slipped around his waist and pulled him closer.
"Sorry," Toya murmured, although the smile in his voice made it abundantly clear that he wasn't sorry at all.
"No, you're not."
"No," Toya admitted as he pressed his cheek against Akito's hair. "I'm really not."
Akito made an embarrassed whine and clung to him harder. He was so pathetic.
All that sulking, all that internal arguing, all that pretending he didn't care about sleeping separately, and it had taken Toya a few words of honest affection to reduce him to a blushing mess who couldn't even look his own partner in the eyes.
He could practically hear An laughing at him if she ever found out about this. He'd never hear the end of it. He was going to keep this a secret until the day he died.
Toya, apparently unaware that he was currently being the most devastatingly adorable person alive, began carefully shuffling them both farther up the bed.
The movement was awkward because Akito refused to release him, but Toya seemed perfectly willing to work around that particular obstacle. He managed to tug the pillows into a more comfortable arrangement and pull the blanket over them, all while keeping one arm securely around Akito's waist.
Akito helped by grabbing the edge of the blanket and yanking it up to their shoulders. Then he settled against Toya, fitting himself into the warm space between his partner's chest and arm with a content sigh he hoped Toya hadn't noticed.
Of course—Toya noticed.
Instead of commenting on it, though, Toya simply pressed a soft kiss to Akito's forehead and tucked him a little closer.
His fingers began tracing idle patterns against Akito's back, the gentle, absentminded movement of someone who was just as happy to be here as Akito was.
After a moment, Akito's fingers curled into the fabric of Toya's shirt.
He'd been looking forward to this all evening. That was arguably the most humiliating part. He'd wanted to cuddle with Toya so badly that he'd spent the entire night being grumpy about two perfectly normal hotel beds—and now that he was finally here, all he could think about was how comfortable Toya felt against him.
He didn't have to say any of that. Toya seemed to understand anyway.
"Comfy?" Toya asked quietly as he brushed his thumb over Akito's shoulder.
Akito nodded against his chest, then mumbled, "Mhm."
"Good." Toya's smile softened as he pressed a kiss into Akito's hair. "I wanted to hold you."
Akito's face warmed again, but this time he didn't try to hide it by pulling away. He merely tucked his face farther into Toya's shirt and tightened his arms around him. "Yeah, well. You could've just said that."
"I did."
"Not before I got into bed, idiot."
Toya chuckled, his shoulders moving gently beneath Akito's cheek. "I'll remember that next time."
"There better not be a next time."
"Of course not," Toya agreed solemnly, which was how Akito knew he was being a little shit about it.
Akito lifted his head just enough to glare at him, only to find Toya looking so pleased with himself that the glare immediately lost most of its effectiveness. There was a tiny crease at the corner of Toya's eyes, and his smile had become a little more playful, but the affection underneath it remained unmistakable.
Akito could have kissed him right then and there.
He very nearly did, too, before remembering that this was Toya, who would probably take a kiss as encouragement to become even more affectionate, which would then lead to Akito having to deal with even more feelings than he was already dealing with.
So instead, he shoved his face back against Toya's chest.
"Just shut up and cuddle me," he mumbled.
Toya's arms tightened around him at once. "Okay," he replied softly, pressing another kiss into Akito's hair.
Akito pinched his side through his shirt. Toya squirmed and laughed, catching Akito's hand before he could do it again, then lacing their fingers together beneath the blanket. Akito allowed it without complaint, even when Toya lifted their joined hands to press a brief kiss to his knuckles.
It was unfair how easily Toya could make him feel loved. Sometimes Akito wondered whether he even understood what he was doing, whether he knew that every small gesture seemed to find its way straight into the softest, most vulnerable parts of Akito's heart. Toya was earnest about everything, especially affection.
When he wanted to hold Akito, he said so. When he wanted to kiss him, he leaned in. When he was happy, his whole face lit up. And when he adored someone, he made absolutely zero effort to hide it.
He's gonna kill me someday… one of these days.
As the room grew quieter, Akito shifted until he could rest his head more comfortably beneath Toya's chin. Toya adjusted the blanket around them and began running his fingers through Akito's hair again, and the last of Akito's embarrassment gradually gave way to drowsiness.
He found himself listening to it as his eyes grew heavy. He had always liked falling asleep beside Toya, even before they'd got together, back when sharing a ced during a sleepover had been enough to make his heart race. Now he could curl up against his boyfriend without having to pretend it was an accident, and Toya would hold him as close as he wanted.
He was so lucky.
Akito's fingers tightened once around Toya's hand, a small, unconscious gesture that earned him another gentle squeeze in return.
"Good night, Akito," Toya murmured, already sounding half asleep as he rested his cheek against Akito's head.
Akito's heart practically turned to mush.
"G'night… love ya," he whispered, his voice muffled against Toya's shirt.
Toya hummed contentedly and pulled him closer, and Akito let his eyes fall shut.
He wasn't going to think about how embarrassing this was, or how he was going to have to get out of bed in the morning without looking at the other mattress, or how Toya was probably going to remember this and ask to share a bed every single time they traveled from now on.
He was certainly not going to think about how the other bed remained perfectly pristine across the room.
As far as he was concerned, the sleeping arrangements had been settled.