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Bonnie's room was dark and quiet. The only sounds anyone could hear were the usual nighttime creaks of the house or one of Bonnie's parents making a quick trip to the bathroom. The toys hadn't thought Bonnie would ever settle down. She had stayed up late talking with Blaze about having a picnic with their parents, and judging by how happy and excited she sounded as she talked about Blaze's mom making a cake for the event and their parents agreeing to go watch a fireworks show, sleep seemed unlikely. Eventually the chatter faded into light snoring, and one by one the toys passed out in their spots around the room, all wondering if Bonnie was going to take them to her friend's house for what sounded like a fun day.
Hours had passed and Jessie found herself sleeping on the other end of the bed. Bullseye was curled up beside her, his head resting on her hip. Buzz was on the other side of her, sleeping soundly, one hand on his chest and the other behind his head.
It should have been a peaceful slumber. Unfortunately for the cowgirl, that wasn't always guaranteed.
The dream turned without warning. She was standing in a garden bursting with colorful flowers, a castle rising in the distance. She could just make out the ivy creeping up one of its walls. She was a not so dainty princess in a cowprint dress with her hair done up in what she would have considered a monstrous bun. She was getting ready for a horseback ride around the castle when suddenly everything around her went dark.
The cowgirl felt her heart skip a beat. She closed her eyes and snapped them back open. She looked around and was met with the same result, darkness. She quickly walked forward and bumped into a wall, then turned around and met what she assumed to be another wall. She put her hands up and started to feel around the area. It felt disgustingly familiar. She dropped to her knees and felt around in a panic.
The feel and smell of cardboard were engulfing every inch of her space. She was in a box.
She tried to focus on her old mantra and muttered it to herself as fast as she could “Jessie doesn't give up. Jessie finds a way.”
It would have worked if her ears didn't catch the sound of a little girl's voice in the distance. Was it Emily? Was it Bonnie? She wasn't sure. The voice was faint. Her nervousness started to give way to dread the second she felt the box move up and get placed down again. She sat still and waited. Maybe she was getting taken home?
- Maybe I'm in the car. - she thought.
She was about to feel a faint sense of security wash over her when she heard the engine. It sounded old and worn. It wasn't a car she was familiar with. Jessie could feel the box jostle around as the car picked up speed. The voice from before grew ever smaller.
“Bye… Jessie.”
“Jessie.”
“Jessie.”
She felt her eyes open for real this time. She got herself up into a sitting position and placed a hand to her chest. It felt like a boulder was sitting on top of it. She was breathing heavily and almost forgot where she was. A new voice, a faint green glow, and a soft neighing sound brought her back to her senses.
“Jessie.”
She looked around and saw Bullseye with his head now in her lap. The source of the voice belonged to none other than Buzz. He was sitting next to her. Jessie caught him glancing towards Bonnie, making sure the little girl was still asleep before focusing his attention back onto her.
“Are you okay?”
Jessie gave herself a moment to control her breathing before answering back.
“S-sorry. I didn't mean to wake ya.” she found herself struggling to say. She could feel her hands shaking and she hated it.
“You have nothing to apologize for, Jessie.” Buzz's tone was gentle yet firm. She hadn't realized her hand had drifted to her braid until he reached up and worked her fingers loose from the frayed end. She heard him let out a small sigh as he folded her hand into his own, and her fingers moved restlessly against his palm.
“That dream again?” he asked quietly.
Jessie nodded. She felt her throat grow a little tight at the thought of it. She placed her forehead against Buzz's shoulder and exhaled. She took one of her hands and rubbed Bullseye's ear and gave herself a minute, taking in the surroundings of the new darkness around her. This one was more welcoming. For one, there was more than enough room to move around. She could see traces of a streetlight peering in from one of the windows. She could see Bonnie's new arts and crafts project on the desk and Sammy III moving in his enclosure. Everyone in the room was accounted for.
Everything was fine.
“I know it's been years.” she whispered. “I know I got you and Bullseye and everythin' will work itself out for the better. I know that.” She gave herself a few seconds. She could feel phantom tears beginning to form. “But sometimes my mind takes me right back to that box, and I don't know…”
“What happened was not your fault, Jessie.” one of Buzz's hands found its way to her lower back while she was talking. He pulled her close. “Those bad memories are like a scar. It's always going to be there, but with enough time it fades.”
“Did Pricklepants tell you that?” she said with a hum. They both heard Bullseye let out a little snort.
“He isn't wrong. It's true and I intend to keep proving it.” Buzz said. His shoulders eased, hearing her humor return was exactly what he'd been hoping for. “I mean it, Jessie. Your nightmares aren't as frequent as before. The last time you had a nightmare was months ago.”
He was right. Her nightmares weren't as common as they were back when she was Andy's toy. She wasn't sure if she had finally gotten used to it or if it was because her life seemed a little clearer than it once had. The shaking in her hands began to cease. She pulled back enough to look him in the eyes.
“You always do this.” she said. “Drop everythin' the second I so much as whimper like some scared puppy.”
“I would do the same for anyone in this room. You most of all.” he said it with a calm, yet firm tone. “That's not going to change.”
Jessie felt her chest ache. For a different reason this time. It was a good kind of ache, strangely enough. The way he looked at her and the way Bullseye had been gently nudging her with his snout allowed her to find comfort in knowing that they would choose her over and over without hesitation.
She tucked herself into the curve of Buzz's arm and leaned against him. Bullseye followed soon after giving a sleepy neigh and shuffling so he could curl up beside the couple, his back now resting against Jessie's leg. For a few minutes, Buzz and Jessie sat in silence. Buzz's gaze drifted toward the window and the few stars visible outside while Jessie looked over to Bonnie, who was still sound asleep.
“Buzz?”
“Mm?”
“Thanks for not lettin' me go back to that box alone. Even if it was in my head.”
She felt him press a small kiss on her forehead. “You won't have to, Jessie. Not while I'm here.”
She closed her eyes again, and this time, when the darkness came, it didn't feel like a box at all. It felt like his arms.