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William did not awaken with a start.
It was like coming back from a deep, deep sleep. His brain was moving at a snail’s pace, trying to come back to the real world. His eyelids felt heavy as he blearily tried to open them. Hissing as a light immediately assaulted his irises, forcing them back shut.
On instinct he reached up one of his hands to grab his phone off of his dresser, only to feel something soft and slightly sharp poking his palm. Huh.
The sensation made him more aware of his other senses.
He realized, still laying on his back, that he was chilly, and the poking sensation was actually underneath his whole body. He also noticed that his head felt wet. But not ‘sweaty’ wet. What was that?
He brought two fingers to his forehead and felt a thick liquid collecting on his finger tips. He turned his head to the right so as not to be blasted by light again, and slowly opened his eyes.
Only to see red.
It was only then that William Wisp shot up, grabbing his head, expecting pain to shoot up his spine. But there was nothing.
Maybe he was still in shock.
He brought his hand down and again stared at the crimson liquid slowly dripping towards his wrist. He whipped his head around to see he was not in fact in his room, but sitting in a forest clearing, with only the moon to illuminate the foliage. Squinting into the trees, he could see nothing but darkness. Looking up revealed the moon directly overhead, and just a bit to the left, the edge of a mountain. And perhaps the most concerning thing of all was directly behind him on the grass: a pool of blood. Fresh blood.
Bile rose in his throat as, again, he braced for the pain that was sure to follow. But again he felt nothing.
Nothing except wet and cold.
“Ok…” he muttered, rubbing his hand on the grass, trying to get as much off as possible. It was just a little gross, so sue him.
He breathed out a long, shaky breath. Ok. So he was in the forest, at midnight, covered in blood, with no memory of how he got there. That’s… that’s fine. Normal even. He’s definitely not about to have a god damn panic attack. No sireee. All he needed to do….was get home.
He scanned the ground for his flashlight or his phone or anything else that he would normally have. A thought occurred and he stood up and winced. His phone had been shattered beneath him. Which…implied he fell on it. He looked up again to the cliff beside him.
Did he…?
He shook his head, laughing it off. No, that was impossible. No one could survive a fall from that height. And even if by some miracle someone did, they would never be able to function normally again. And there was absolutely no WAY he fell off that mountain because he didn’t feel….any pain.
He looked at his palm again. Now that he was used to the blood, he got a better look of his actual hand. It was kinda…pale. Really pale, actually. Like he hadn’t seen the sun in days. Bringing up his other, non-blood covered hand showed the same result.
Curious, he pulled up his left sleeve to look at his arm. Pale. He chuckled to himself. His skin was so white you could mistake him for a…
ghost.
All of the heat left his body, which did NOT help. His heartrate accelerated rapidly which made him feel slightly better. ‘Cause ghosts don’t have hearts! Which shouldn’t matter because he was NOT a ghost because that would be crazy. But he’s staring down at the pile of blood and the smashed phone, and the tall cliff and a lot of stuff is adding up and he does not like it.
Is he hyperventilating?? He thinks he’s hyperventilating. Which is great! Dead things don’t breathe! That’s like, the biggest requirement for something to be alive is if it breathes! But plants are alive. Do plants breathe? AGH! Focus! He’s walking backwards. He shouldn’t do that, he’ll trip and…well it would just be bad ok?!
He collapsed onto the floor, arms on his knees. Breathe William…breathe. There was an explanation for this. Definitely. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on the chill he had felt ever since waking up. The wet sensation on his forehead. The soft, yet pokey grass beneath him. His thoughts started to slow and his breathing became more controlled.
He wasn’t dead. He was okay. He could feel the world around him. He was alive.
He scoffed. Honestly, only he could send himself into a panic because he thinks he’s a ghost. He opened his eyes.
And the universe must fucking hate him because he can see through his hand.
“What the fuck?!” He screeched in a very manly, totally not embarrassing way and began waving his hand around wildly like there was something gross on it.
After a few seconds he stopped, and his hand was solid. Phew
And the next second it was transparent. “Ah!” His scream was cut short as it became solid again. His brow furrowed.
Transparent. Solid. Transparent. Solid. All seconds apart. He brought up his other hand and sure enough, the same thing was happening.
It was like he was…glitching. That was the best way to put it. For a while he just stared. It was truly a surreal thing to see.
“I must have tripped on mushrooms or something,” he muttered. He didn’t truly believe it.
The novelty of it only lasted so long as his thoughts caught up with him again. His heart sunk down into his stomach. (If he even had one of those anymore). He couldn’t deny the evidence any longer. Everything pointed to him having fallen off of that cliff, dying, and somehow coming back to life.
He felt cold. The realization sent a shiver up his back.
He hugged his knees closer to his chest, they were also fading in and out of transparency, resting his chin. “Look at the bright side William,” he laughed mirthlessly to himself. “At least you didn’t STAY dead!” He couldn’t help but think about how upset his mom would be if she found her son dead in a forest. How his friends would react… At least that wouldn’t happen.
It didn’t do much to lift his mood. He actually felt worse. He pulled his knees in tighter, trying to ignore how they flickered in the moonlight. He knew that even if he was alive, he was changed. The pale skin, the transparency, he wasn’t ‘William’ any more. He had seen enough undead to know that.
He tried to push the thought away, he couldn’t afford another panic attack right now. He had to figure out what to do next. Be practical William.
Well, he was covered in blood and far from home. So he should probably fix that.
His first thought was to go to one of his friends. He could clean up and they would…well he would feel a lot better. Isaac’s house was usually open. And Norah might be able to sneak him in, unless she was still grounded.
But…he bit his lip, he was dead. Or at least undead. He thought to the Returned. To Lui’s grandmother. The fear in his face. That’s right, he was a monster now wasn’t he? If they saw him they’d know. They’d know instantly. They’d…they’d fear him. They’d hate him for replacing their friend. They’d try to send him back to death. Back to the grave. Tears pricked at the corner of his eyes. He couldn’t go to them. In fact…he should probably never see them again.
The thought is overwhelming so he tries to switch gears. Maybe he could just go home. Sneak in through the window and get cleaned up before his parents even notice. He winced at the idea of getting his mom’s tub all bloody…again. But he didn’t have much of a choice.
He stood up, hands hugging his middle. Regardless of what he did, he needed to get back to Deadwood. So he should probably start walking.
He strained his ears for any familiar sound, and perked up at the sound of rushing water. Right, the river leads to the town. He should just follow that.
It didn’t take long to find. The only issue was how dark it was. Without the light of the moon, he was forced to rely on his ears to know where to go. A lump built in his throat; he could really use Norah right now.
Once again it was a thought that hurt too much to dwell on and for the next hour or so, he tried his absolute best to keep his mind blank.
And if tears fell from his face while he walked, that was between him and the trees.
William heaved a sigh of relief when he spotted light through the flora. It had to be at least one in the morning so he wasn’t concerned about being spotted. Unless there was a late night patrol or something.
Haha. He should really stop manifesting!
As soon as he stepped out of the brush, William spotted two men in uniforms swinging around massive flashlights.
“Shit!” The words escaped his mouth before he could slam his hand over it. He winced as he saw the two officers swing their heads and lights towards him. Luckily, not directly at him but pretty damn close. One of them said something to the other and they both started walking over,
Damn it! How was he supposed to explain being covered in blood and wandering out of the forest in the middle of the night? Nothing that would make sense! They’d take him to the station and then his friends would find out and… he needed to hide!
He had deliberated for far too long however, as one of the lights flashed directly in his eyes and he had to cover them with his arms. After the shock passed, he exhaled softly and slowly put his hands up trying his best to look nonchalant.
One of the officers glared at him, squinting. The other seemed to be searching around him, probably to see if someone would come after him or something.
They stood there for a long while to the point where it started to feel a bit awkward and William’s arms were getting tired. He opened his mouth to say something but the one who was looking around beat him to it.
“I don’t see anything.” he said, turning to the one still glaring straight at him. “Maybe there was an animal or something but it’s gone now.”
William slowly lowered his arms….what?
“I swear I saw someone.” The other one stated firmly, a twinge of fear in his voice. “It was a human shape.”
“You’ve been watching too many movies.” the other chuckled. “We have patrol to finish and staring into the woods isn’t going to make you any less paranoid.”
“Oh.” William thought. He wasn’t glaring at him. He was glaring through him. He looked down.
There was nothing there. He made a small sound that got caught in his throat.
“I am not paranoid! The paranoid officer refuted, taking down his flashlight. “Weird shit happens in this town. It’s not like-”
“Ugh, I don’t want to hear you talk about New Haven again.” He started walking away. “Nobody cares that you’re a city kid.”
“Hey I just miss when my life was normal!” The other jogged to keep up with him and soon they were far enough away that he could no longer hear or see them.
And speaking of things he couldn’t seeeeeeeholy fucking shit!
He did a quick body check to make sure he still existed at least and felt only slightly better when he didn’t phase through himself.
So…he’s invisible. Gggggreat. He held up his hands and they were simply not there. It wasn’t like when they were see-through. They were just gone. He’s really not beating the ghost allegations….
“Well…” William tried to smile but he imagined it was probably a grimace. “At least now I can’t be caught hehe.” His voice felt weak and impossibly quiet. Was he just invisible or was it something else?
He couldn’t think about it. For now, he just had to get home. He thought what it would be like to collapse onto his soft comforter and it gave him the strength to keep going.
It was weird, looking at the ground and seeing no shadow under the dim street lamps. It was also weird not seeing his god damn feet. But for some reason, realizing that light completely phased through him made him especially tense. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t possible. That wasn’t- that’s not how light works!
He kept staring at his lack of shadow all the way to his house. His original plan to enter through the window was abandoned since being seen was no longer a problem. He opened his front door and,
“William?” his mom was sitting on the couch staring at him, slackjawed with horror. Ah. Guess the invisibility wore off or something.
His face grew tight as he tried to force a smile. “H-hey mom. Why are you um…up?”
Many emotions passed through his mother’s face before settling on concern. “Why am I up?? I thought you were in your room!” William blinked and she was in front of him, holding his head and pushing his hair back, searching for something. Injuries, probably.
“Mom-”
He was interruupted by her grabbing his face and pulling his mouth open, tilting her head, concern growing on her face..
“Mhm- pls-” William said, muffled.
“Why are you covered in blood?! Who’s blood is it?!” She demanded.
William glanced away. “It’s um-”
She grabbed his hand, pulling apart his fingers. “And why are you so pale? And cold?” She put her other hand to his forehead. “Did you catch something? It’s not a fever. Is it hypothermia? Why would you go out so late?! I swear I’m gonna bolt your window! This is the last time you go sneaking off into the woods. Lord help me..” She said the last part under her breath but he caught it.
He grabbed her hands, stopping her rambling. “Mom, I’m actually….not hurt.” He promised. “I just….” he sighed. “I would really like to just clean up and go to bed.”
Her face contorted into anger. “Oh no mister, this is a conversation that needs to happen.”
“I- I know.” William put his hands up. “I agree but…in the morning? Please?”
Her anger faded into a more defeated, sad expression. The one William hated the most. “I just wish you would talk to me.” she said quietly.
“We will.” William took her hands gently and prayed they stayed solid. “I will explain everything. I promise.”
“Promise.” She repeated the word in disbelief.
“Yes.” He gave her a small smile. “Go to bed, mom. I’m gonna take a shower.”
Her face softened. “Ok honey.” William’s shoulders sank and she wrapped him up in a hug. He hesitantly returned it. “I love you.”
William’s eyes narrowed. Before now, what had been the last words he had said to his mom? If he had died in the forest. What would he have left her with? He couldn’t remember and again he felt tears threaten to fall.
“I love you too.”
He said his final goodnight to her and headed to the bathroom. He turned on the shower first so it could get warm and started undressing. As he took off his hoodie, he got a glimpse of himself in the mirror and paused.
He really did look like a walking corpse.
His skin was as white as a sheet. His hair was matted with now dried blood with twigs tangled inside. His usually blue eyes looked more grey and faded and, oddly enough, a small section of his black hair was now a stark white
But the strangest thing was that there wasn’t a single scratch on him. Nothing to explain the amount of blood that has pooled out of his skull. No broken bones that he should definitely have. Not even a scar.
He tore his eyes away from the person in the mirror and turned the water up to as hot as it could go.
The next morning he woke up in his bed, thankfully. And immediately started thinking of how he was going to lie to his parents. “Yeah I went into the woods last night and now I’m ridiculously pale and can turn invisible! I’ve basically got superpowers!” The lie he thought of, he found out, wasn’t fully a lie as he reached to grab his toothbrush and his hand phased straight through it. He blinked and did it a couple more times to be sure he saw it correctly. Turns out, his ‘transparent mode’ was actually intagibility. He had a lot of questions on how he didn’t fall through the earth but decided to not delve into it.
To test his theory further he tried walking through his door instead of opening it and was shocked when it worked.
It became a lot easier to make his parents forget ‘blood covered’ William when he showed them that.
“Wow!” His dad beamed. After swallowing a mouthfull of eggs. “You’re like one of those big-city superheroes!”
“Haha, yeah.” William smiled tightly, picking at his food. “I don’t know how I could really help people though.”
“Well that super healing seems pretty helpful.” His mom pointed out, still chewing.
He nodded, not trusting his voice. Super healing…riiiiight.
“You’ve got honest to God superpowers!” His dad added cheerfully. “We could send you to New Haven to train!
“Daniel!” His mother reprimanded, putting her fork down. “We are not sending him away to the biggest city on Prime!
“I’m just saying!” he put his hands up placatingly. “Maybe this is what he needs! Maybe this is a sign.”
This made his mother pause, deep in thought. “Maybe.” Her expression was conflicted.
William turned his eyes down to his eggs. He hated how much he was considering it.
It’s true that he had no plans after high school. He would love to just solve mysteries forever, or at least in the short life he…well…had. But even if that was once an option, it definitely wasn’t now. And his friends…he couldn’t avoid them forever in Deadwood. Eventually the truth would come out and… he didn’t want to consider what would come after. No. No, he definitely needed to get out of Deadwood. Maybe this was an opportunity. And being a hero? He had already been protecting Deadwood, so he was familiar. And he had to do something with this new life. It had to mean something….
He looked out the window facing the street. They would be fine without him….right?
He turned to his dad, smiling. “You know dad, that’s not a bad idea.”
In a fantasy world, William would’ve left the next day. But that just wasn’t feasible. Arrangements had to be made, packing had to be done. They had to prove that he even had powers and was worthy of being recruited. The whole process took around two weeks. Thankfully, it was pretty easy convincing his parents that he shouldn’t go to school during that time. “You know, I don’t have full control over my powers, so if they went off at school, my secret identity would be revealed before I’m even in the city!” It wasn’t a full lie. Especially as more things started happening. Like…floating. The first time THAT happened he couldn’t get down for an hour.
Kind of fun, mostly terrifying.
It was harder to convince them that they shouldn’t let Norah, Isaac, or Lui in. It was less convincing and more pleading that they didn’t and then them sharing a glance before giving him that look he hated. The look that his mom got when he did something wrong and she wasn’t angry even though she really should be. It made his stomach sink.
He felt a little bad locking off their main meetup spot but he knew it was for the best.
Despite knowing this, he couldn’t help but think as he packed: “Take them with you.”
It was a terrible idea, but it kept coming. While he was folding clothes. “Tell them.” While he wrote in his planner. “Go be heroes in New Haven. You could all investigate together.” While he studied the city streets. “Go apologize for blowing them off. Explain everything.” While he looked into his powers. “You can’t lose them.”
He grasped his head tightly, as if it would stop the thought from coming. No. No. No, it wasn’t an option. They don’t have powers, they wouldn’t be accepted. Besides, he’s not human anymore. What had Lui said? About the Abrams son? “It won’t be his son. It would be a monster that he brought back. They lie with every breath. They’re not truly alive.” He looked down at his pale hand and blinked and it was gone. He certainly didn’t feel ‘truly alive’. They shouldn’t have to deal with a monster like him. He had to repeat it like a mantra. Anytime he considered it.
“I’m a monster. I’m a monster. I’m a monster.”
The day a man with dark skin and long braids came to take him to New Haven, it was simultaneously too soon and not soon enough. He packed everything he could need into a massive suitcase that he struggled to close. Mainly because he kept going intangible and falling facefirst onto his bed. He was pretty excited to start training and get a hold over THAT specifically.
As he tried zipping up his suitcase for the fifth time, grumbling in frustration, he heard the sound of a car pulling up. Not like his dad’s old jeep. This one sounded new and expensive. He ran up to the window and tried to press himself up against it to see.
Only to fall straight through.
“Oh William!” he was rubbing his head where he fell when he heard his mom come over to help him up. “You have got to get a handle on that. Can’t be doing much saving if you keep falling out of buildings.” She dusted him off and checked his head for injuries.
“I know mom- ow-I know.” He shooed her off. Both of their attention was caught by the sound of a car door slamming. The man that was driving the very nice blue car came out, beaming.
“Hello! I do hope I’m in the right place!”
His mom clasped her hands together. “Yes! I’m Mrs. Wisp.”
“Right!” He turned to William. “And you must be William! I’m glad we can finally officially be acquainted.”
“Hi.” he replied awkwardly. “A-and you must be…?”
He waved his hand like he was shooing away an insect. “We can talk in the car. Are you all packed?”
He winced. “K-kinda?” He turned to his mom, who was wiping tears from her eyes. “Could you uh…help me?”
She sniffled and smiled. “Of course dear.” She turned to the man. “And his father’s getting home early. He can’t leave until they’ve said their proper goodbyes.” she said firmly.
“I’m in no rush m’aam. Take your time.” he replied easily and walked back, presumably to wait in the car.
Back in William’s room, as soon as the suitcase finally closed, his mom pulled him into a tight hug.
“I’m gonna miss you so much, Will.” Her voice was watery.
William returned the hug just as tight, “I’m gonna miss you too.” he could feel his own eyes getting wet.
She pulled away and smiled at him, but it was full of conflicting emotions. William could understand that. He was pretty fucking conflicted to.
“If you need anything, anything at all, just call. Ok? And make sure to brush your teeth every day, NOT, every three days. How are you supposed to get a girlfriend with bad breath? Or a boyfriend?”
William’s cheeks burned pink. “Moooom stop! I promise I’ll brush my teeth! Just stop.”
She gently held his arms and kissed him on the forehead. “And one last thing.”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t ever forget where you came from.” she smiled. “When you’re a big shot one day, you better still visit your hometown, ya’ hear? And don’t you be getting too big of a head. Alright?”
William glanced away out the window. He didn’t think he could ever forget the place even if he wanted to. He would try though. He needed a fresh start.
“Alright.” he said, not meeting his mother’s eyes.
She studied him for what felt like hours before the familiar sound of his dad getting home interrupted the moment.
“Well, that would be him.” She sighed and stood up. “Let’s go meet him outside.” She turned to walk out the door but paused and looked back at him. “Are you sure you don’t want to say goodbye to your little group? He said there’s no rush.”
William smiled with his eyes shut. “I said goodbye yesterday. They were upset but we’ll keep in contact.” The lie flowed easily.
He had to lie a lot these days.
She didn’t look convinced but didn’t push. “Hm. C’mon, we should give him as much time to say goodbye as possible. Ya’ know your dad’s a crier.”
It was true. It was probably half an hour before his dad tearfully let go of him.
“You’re gonna make a real difference.” He said with utmost pride. And William couldn’t help but feel pretty good about that.
“You’ve got a lot of faith in me.” he said in a half joking, half warning tone.
His dad nodded and said sincerely, “I do.”
Guilt burned at his insides but he smiled and turned to the man who drove the cool blue car. He was on his phone, obviously trying to keep out of the moment. “Uh,” William tilted his head. “I-I’m ready.”
“Hm, what?” the man looked up. “Oh! Good! We should probably get going. Just hop in the back.”
He nodded and looked back at his parents. They were both quiet, and he knew it was because they didn’t want to start crying again. He waved back.
He walked around to the left side and pulled on the handle of the backseat.
Locked.
He frowned. “Um…”
“Oh yeah!” the man went into his bag. “Sorry, I gotta unlock it. Just sit tight.”
William bit back a retort about how he couldn’t sit because the car was locked and instead nodded. Of course his last few moments in Deadwood would be awkward. It just fit too well.
He crossed his arms and just stared at the door. He could just phase through but that felt a bit rude, And what if someone was walking by and saw?
The thought passed through his head at the same moment he heard the lock mechanism.
And the second after that, a voice he hadn’t heard in two weeks.
“Will?”
He whipped his head around and he couldn’t stop the immediate expression of fear as he saw his former three best friends, all staring at him.
One last joke from the universe, he guessed.
They simply stared at each other, ten or so feet away, for a while. The sun was starting to set, golden light surrounded them. Now more than ever William prayed he would not go intangible, but he kinda wanted to turn invisible.
Within seconds of scanning their faces he knew exactly what each one of them was thinking. Norah, with her large, tear filled eyes, was in disbelief. She was hurt and devastated. She would follow him anywhere, but she couldn’t follow him now. Isaac with his furrowed brow and slight frown was distrusting. He had probably been telling himself that William had a reason to lie to them. To avoid them. And now he was seeing the truth: they were being ghosted. Abandoned. He was angry and only getting angrier. And Lui, with his squinted, searching eyes, was studying him. He was looking at his skin, his hair, his eyes, his posture. Everything. And he watched as his eyes widened a tiny fraction and William knew….that he knew.
He had betrayed all of them. He tore his gaze away, he couldn’t bear to see it in their eyes when it appeared.
The man came up to him. “Hey, the door’s unlocked by the way.” He said with an eyebrow raised. He looked over to the victims of his betrayal. “Oh are those your friends?” William didn’t answer, his shoulders hunched. The man frowned and looked back at them. “Did you want to say goodbye?”
William looked up at him for a second before looking back at the car and opening the door. He got halfway in before he turned his head so that they could see his face, but kept his eyes towards the ground.
“Bye.” he muttered and then slid across the seats, slamming the door behind him.
Chaos erupted. He could hear them right outside of the car. Norah’s desperate pleading. Isaac’s furious yelling. Lui’s ferverent questioning.
William slowly reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out two ear buds. He put them in his ears and he blasted whatever song came up first at full volume.
He can still hear them.
So he tries to drown them out with his now all too familiar mantra.
“I’m a monster. I’m a monster. I’m a monster.”