Chapter Text
It was a blissful morning to feel sunshine rays kiss her forehead. Her arms automatically stretching muscles within to get a head start of moving, she yawned any remaining drowsiness in her system as her mind went through a list of things to prioritize or keep it on the back burner. Autopilot in her footsteps leading to the bathroom to be refreshed, after taking a nice shower to be refreshed, droplets of water drizzled down her face and a glance on her reflection made her lost in her thoughts, her fingertip rolling a small strand of hair, this shade of brown seemed off like it was washing out her, she wondered if black would look good.
Dark, witchy and moody.
Paige shrugged, she’ll check out the saloon and see if there were more colours suitable for her aesthetic.
What a blissful morning it would have been, sip her chilled coffee, procrastinate designs for seashells she just got and just doomscroll away till moon graced her with its presence.
Was, until she took her phone from the drawer beside the bed, bracing herself to take any drafted videos that Albert sent in the folders.
There were many notifications which she scrolled away from, deciding it was the least of her priorities when her eyes landed on a discord message.
albert: ‘i cant record a video, im sick.’ sent 5:34 am.
albert: ‘Is there any drafts in the folders that u can just edit? think u can use tjose and uopdaye me when ure at the editing process.’ sent 6:01 am.
Her eyes squinted up to the top of her phone, such time being nine forty-five in the morning, far later in the morning than what Albert usually wakes up at. Though it was normal to receive gibberish messages because it is Albert, same man who licked the end of his trophy where it was smothered in an abhorrent combination of liquids, liquids which definitely soured at the sun’s aggravating heat. Regardless of video being years ago, the vivid pungent scent still imprinted on her nostrils whilst a wave of nausea crawled at the back of her throat just from being reminded of each bean smushed in. Her body subconsciously let out a shudder.
Pog: ‘How did you get sick??’ sent 10:02 am.
Wait he went to RDC.
Scratch that actually, Albert couldn’t be bothered answering measly concerns when it could be brought up later on. Paige typed out another message concerning the deadline along with its main topic. Though he portrayed himself as an unhinged bean man, in a way there reason in his mania. He didn’t repeat a video topic unless said topic brought a large sum of views from equally mentally ill fans who consumed his content with gusto.
Within minutes, Albert’s discord chat bubble was rolling. Of course, he would rather answer than take the time to rest. Paige rolled her eyes but awaited his response, if there was one thing everyone in his close circles knew was how easily he stuck to one goal without any distractions getting in his way. Not many people could tell him to pause and take a break — perhaps his family could, obviously, and what was the other’s one name again? Her index finger clicking on thumb to stimulate her memory since the brunette’s friend group was sizeably large, the guy who kept pissing Albert off without even trying, Jake, that’s it. Frankly, it was rather surprising that out of people, he would actually keep in mind whatever Jake spoke to him about — being sick barely scratched a dent on how far he was willing to push out videos when he reached peak within his moods. Then again, good for him to take breaks for himself, given how much effort he puts behind the scenes with his videos. Only fair for him to relax albeit uncomfortably (seemed like a good deal for her for having to watch him tweak out).
Pog: ‘There's drafts of you and jake recorded as a vlog, should I edit those?’ sent 10:23 AM.
There had been some videos recorded before, and during RDC. She’d seen clips of Megan posting her own of Albert with Jake and Denis, and while it was wholesome and ironically hilarious.
Who knew he appeared cramped between both of them?
albert: ‘There are? Headaches being a bitch to me rn, i’ll check it out after you finis editinng them.’ sent 10:23 AM.
albert: ‘around next saturday at morning is the deadline, is that enough or do you need more time?’ sent 10:25 AM.
Pog: ‘I’ll see what I can do, go rest.’ sent 10:25 AM.
With all that in mind, Paige went to get her laptop and essential items, water, snacks, lots of snacks and her headphones. Clicks and taps trail along whilst her eyes scanned from the said drafted video, even through her skillfully crafted cataloged folders, there were thousands of pixels that weren't what she was looking for. Eyes squinted while her lips pursued into a grimace. Was this a Mandela effect where it was made up in her mind? Paige went back to discord to inquire about it to Adam or Znac, both were knowledgeable about searching specific drafts without losing your marbles. All three had their own catalogs which greatly worked in harmony and if a draft was missing it wouldn't take long enough for one of them to find it.
Pog: ‘Albert's sick and he asked for any drafted video, still recall a video vlog where it was him and Jake? I can't remember the date or file name to search for it.’ sent 10:47 AM.
It didn’t take much long for Adam to respond to the message, ever so speculative.
Speedy: ‘Got an idea of what’s inside the video? Maybe I can try to remember it.’ sent 10:56 AM.
Paige was glad despite Adam replied to her whenever she held her qualms despite having his own channel to record and edit.
Pog: ‘Something something about Jake visiting him in Florida for the first vlog clip and the second vlog clip of them at RDC and they were doing stupid shit.’ sent 11:04 AM.
Adam, true to his name, managed to search for the folder name labelled as “Jalbert Collection #6”, and Paige thanked him in her own way with a wide ray of emojis spammed.
Chestnut eyes scanning at each title before dragging her cursor into a draft labelled “Skateboard clip 1” which is estimated to be ten minutes and seven seconds.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAA—”
“Shut the fuck up, shut up!”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH—”
Not even a damn minute into the video, immediately deciphering which sounds from Albert and Jake, lowering said volume to around 40% with such miniscule volume it was thought his schizophrenic ass was merely screaming in lowercase — writer note here: the way Jake screams in their collabs reminds me of those midnight reels with the loud-cryptic messaging with oversaturated visuals? You just know has schizo vibes — Paige found herself huffing, minimally shaking her head as she didn’t think twice to close the MP4 file and rename it “Screamer collab 108”. She narrowed her eyes at her laptop laying on her small table, as though it had done her from the way she barely hid her disdain. After a few trial and errors searching for such a specific video.
Time passed quickly through clicks, blue beams gradually filtering as tangerine. Finally getting the video she had been searching for.
Hands striking each other in a swift motion.
“What’s up you guys, today at the Flamingo Corp, we have decided to grace you with another vlog, with!” Albert proudly announces whilst his hand glides towards Jake in all his glory, who ruins the intro with a disgusting burp to which the other laughs. Albert links his arm onto Jake’s broad shoulder who almost immediately pulls himself closer to Albert for the camera — what it doesn't see is his arm wrapping around the other’s waist — his head resting on Albert’s shoulder, almond eyes beaming in comparison to doe eyes blinking in surprise, who immediately tries to push the older man away by his cheek.
“Get off me, you’re sweaty!” Albert makes a flustered noise, feeling the hair on his skin rise from how close his stubble scratched a sensitive skin.
Jake cackles, smothering his sweat on him like a dog.
‘He cannot be that funny bro.’ Paige can only slam her eyes shut to pause an incoming grimace curving in her lips before continuing while keyboard clicks trailing along. It doesn’t take a genius to notice how synchronized they are, down to their remaining brain cells and horrible gaming skills. God is a witness to how many times Albert has exploded at Jake about some chug-splashing during their fortnite playthroughs that got scrapped at the drafting because of how much tomfoolery both of them engage in which made little to “nothing of content” in Albert’s words. Now that Albert did not have to only exist as ‘Flamingo’, but as himself in a vlogging channel on the side with far less content. The videos span from fewer in quantity but were definitely made up in quality since it gave more entertainment and excitement to have his group of friends in his videos, just them having fun. Probably it did bring obstacles in censoring certain faces by tracing the movement by their character’s avatar faces but eh, it is what it is. Thankfully, Dani and Temperist were ones who wore masks which made it a bit more bearing to edit, anything was better than nothing. Paige was a proud lurker in the comment section to see how well did the video receive to the audiences, majority of the praising made her smile knowing his fans did appreciate her as an editor, others were concentrated on the fact they got to see more of Denis in Albert’s channel rather than his own, albeit lamenting that it was really true that their favourite content creator was not returning yet appreciative knowing he was doing well. Whereas other comments wondered where Jake was, would he be included in the upcoming video? Was he and Jake fighting again? Yadayada — she could still hear a high-pitched ‘YABADABADOOOOO~!’ racing around her mind — speculative stupid assumptions as though this was high school and the popular jock and cheerleader couple got into a fight.
Ugh, reminds her that time; feeling shocked and cringe, needing to pause at editing those videos where Albert filmed himself reacting to what was supposedly a goofy video talking about him; only to be flabbergasted because of how fucked up some of the allegations alluded to him being abusive to his family, friends and relationships. Of all things, abuse was the farthest thing she thought of him, now him being arrested as an arsonist was far believable. Maybe the good thing of being employed by a friend is that you get to see their highs and lows up till they reach their peak. Still, Paige felt the presence of her soul slipping through her fingertips each time she had to listen to loud screaming and shitty jokes between two grown ass men in their thirties.
It goes on about them having fun with less of Albert’s face seen since he was holding the camera to record. You know what, perchance, fans were right about their bromance because why the hell is the camera weirdly zooming at Jake grinning? Something which she knows isn’t exactly generally a smile you’d give to your friend. Nor would be the amount of physical contact in what seems to be Albert’s perspective with the way he positions the camera at the other. To be fair, Paige knew she couldn’t be the one to judge that badly since she is the same person who mistook Mr. Bean’s fake swing as a positive loving human interaction.
That… uhm, was not her finest day of realization about herself.
Although, she’s gotta hand it to them though, somehow finding creative ways to tiptoe by comments of them borderline being intimate for Youtube’s standards.
“Well, we can do all the lead up, if you want."
“It’s called foreplay.”
Their laughter sounds alike.
‘Do they know it's legal now?’ Paige mindlessly thinks while continuously typing away. There was a subtle difference of personality shown in his videos. Of course, same old hyperactive with the diabolicalness but one could say he was glowing now that he didn’t limit himself.
The background changes with an abrupt cut in between, one she assumes from Albert since he does minor revisions before sending to the sheared folders between all of them. From plain fluorescence lights with small glimpses of sky blue from the small window, this time Jake handling the camera to record, they were at his garage showcasing different skating tricks along with the younger man going into detail on how to avoid certain fatal injuries that may happen by demonstrating on himself.
“See as long as you get the balance and momentum right, you’ll be skating smoothly.”
Paige knew she had to type out a glaring warning so none of his underage fans would repeat his dumb mistakes. That clip was more of a basis as it transitioned to them towards the park. Fading skyblue casts a warm, golden glow upon the landscape. Soft tendrils of pink gently embrace the horizon, blending seamlessly with the emerging orange hues of the departing day. Wisps of cotton candy clouds, tinged with delicate shades of hyacinth and lavender, stretching across the sky, creating a celestial masterpiece. Crisp leaves fallen from trees leave a trail of their footsteps. The camera is held by Jake who changes from the scenery and angles at Albert who appears slightly out of breath. Instead of using the younger man’s car, they opted to walk to the park since it did feel nice to take in the scenery.
“Bro why are you walking behind me?”
“Yeah so like I was wondering—dude what is your beef with me being a little behind?”
“I don't know cause when I look to my left, I'm like oh no I left my baby behind he gotta catch up.”
“Well maybe stop speed walking with your long stupid legs cause we’re supposed to enjoy the scenery!” Albert demands.
“Shut up, you’re yelling at me too much.” Jake exasperatedly exhales behind the camera.
“And you’re being mean again!”
A mischievous smirk twists on Albert’s lips.
“Awh, mama! Mamaaa…!” He drawls out in a whiny voice.
“Does it remind you of your mama yelling at you?” A muffled laugh can be audibly heard.
“Does it not remind you of your mama?” The older man snickers, adding fuel to the fire just to get the last word in.
The younger man’s smile drops, a tongue clicking by irritation along with an eye roll.
“Fuck you.”
The older man, unlike his age, doesn’t bother suppressing giggles.
With lens facing away from him and back towards the park, Albert considers combusting the man in front of him into a blood puddle of entrails. Huffing along as he catches up with the other’s speed to nudge him off balance to which the camera angle shakes with what could be followed by an undignified mewl resembling a striped feline getting in its tail stepped on.
“You mad bro? You mad? You mad? You ma-Oh fu-YAABAAAA-”
The camera is haphazardly placed on the grass facing east between Jake’s legs rushing in the direction of a small figure who appears to do ring-around-the-rosey as an attempt to get the camera only for crunchy grass to be unfortunately chewed up in his mouth as Albert drags himself in the lens of the camera, all roughed up and spitting out soil. Paige nods to no one in her living room, deciding she will definitely be bombarded by thirst edits from tiktok by the time this vlog gets posted.
“Let me go NOWWW.”
“Let me gooooo NOOOOOW.”
The brunette screeches at the weight of Jake on top of him and pressing further in his bladder. After being caught, Albert pants out of breath as he puffs a chortle as the camera's lens stares at the older man's navy-blue devilcat hoodie to Jake’s messy hair along with a smirk on his thin lips, lens staring above as a drool of sweat rolls down under his chin.
“Alright guys, this ones for everyone at home, if this big, uh, biiiig, biiiiiig bellied man had you pinned down like this, what you doin’?”
Paige cuts the loud cackling erupting and sloppy kissy noises, maybe today’s the day she becomes homophobic.
“Dude, are you good?” The older man’s concern can be heard behind the camera, somewhat referencing him if he got really hurt from one of said rough-housing or stunts from the previous clips. From what it shows on Albert’s face who shakes his head off dismissively.
“Yeah, I’m fine, just remembered something.” He trails off.
Paige wonders if it’ll be those times where he starts a topic only to merely never finish his sentences.
“Of what?”
“Uh,” The younger man gulps, his hand rubbing the side of his neck, “I’ll tell you later.”
“Anyways when's your next video coming out?” Albert transitions the topic elsewhere as a signal for Jake to follow his league and not question him on it.
“It'll probably be out before this vlog. Knowing my editor, he'll post it faster than yours.”
“Uh huh, same guy who forgot to post last month’s collab? The one who also forgot to hit recoooordd?”
Paige adds a clown emoji on Jake’s audio subtitle, God forbid she takes time to create a masterpiece.
“Man piss off, you were distracting me the whole time by screaming at my eardrums.”
“Hah, how’s that my fault??” Albert inquires, aghast by such mention of different topics!
“Noobish excuse, it's a simple ass click. Like you haven’t screeched your voice in my videos.”
“Yeah? I’m not the one constantly saying ‘Jake! Jake! Protect me, get this for me, sacrifice yourself to save me!’ Sorry, I didn’t know I was serving his majesty.”
“What did you just say to me?” Albert blinks away to process whatever the fuck did this tall man say in front of him and camera.
Jake clears out his throat, “what? Want me to clarify, princess?”
“I’ll have you know I have better biceps than your sorry ass.” Albert blinks; huffing at such audacity, flexing his bicep at a right angle for the camera to see. To be honest, feminine nicknames did not give him anything to feel degraded, but he still preferred the thrill of their banter — and maybe Jake's laughter — to being offended.
An impressed wolf whistle echos.
“I’m sowwy, baby doll.” His faux sincerity did piss him off even more than it should.
“Go die in a ditch.” He stammers, lowering his head so his bangs could cover whatever dignity he had left.
Jake can't be bothered to care that Albert is so sick of him.
“I love you.” His smooth voice is drowning in honey.
Paige makes sure to cut it out.
Finally arriving at the park, coincided with a designated skating ring, where slopes dipped more for Albert to show off more advanced techniques with ease. There were many kids with their parents so they made sure to stay at a spot which made it easier for them to play around the riskier tricks, — though he had his own space to skate around, occasionally, he liked to explore around and interact with the kids whenever they asked him to let them try his skateboard — more so to avoid injuring the little ones since Albert did not want to deal with babies, all whiny and loud.
And he’s proven right when a rotund object bounces roughly off his head along with a squeal resembling a mouse caught in a trap.
“Oh! I’m so sorry, are you hurt?” The woman called to them with an arm wave whilst it appears that her child is approaching them.
Jake lets out a “hah!” before replying with an ok hand sign to the lady who accompanies her child to see if the younger man is actually okay. Thankfully, it wasn’t a basketball but a Disney princess ball; turns out it was one of his neighbor’s kids who was playing throw ball with the other littles one but got off track and threw so far off it landed on poor Albert.
“Hey, I still haven’t paid you for helping my little Scotty with his basketball skills,” The old lady Linda, cheerfully chirps with a smile gracing on her sun-kissed tan wrinkled face, “tell you what, hold Olivia for a moment.” She says promptly as she rushes off to get something from her bag, leaving the little girl in their care. Olivia stares at them, and silently raises her arms to which Albert sighs like an old man obliges. The older man scoffs at such a sight with pure amusement at the other’s feign fed-up expression.
“Pretty deer.” The child happily giggles with her palms failing to muffle her sounds.
“That's what you say to me as your first words, kid?” Think the kid was around like three? Four? It had been a while since he last saw her since he couldn't drop by the park often. She’s got a whole new vocabulary with how she can’t stop babbling adjectives to him.
“Even kid knows what’s right.”
The younger man, exploding him in his mind, maneuvers his arm at an odd angle to pluck out his middle finger visible enough at Jake to see. The older man shakes his head with a middle finger of his own. At last, Linda comes back with what seems to be a coupon from a nearby dinner, refusing Albert nor Jake to say no as this was her way of thanks to them.
Waving a bye when her grandmother takes her to go. “Bye bye, Bertie!” The child chirps with a toothy grin.
“Awh she calls you Bertie too?”
After recording several clips of tomfoolery, they took their rest at the grass because in Jake's words “grass is nature's bed to rest” or whatever that means. A wave of nostalgia washes over him, carrying him to a place where time seems to slow and memories intertwine in a haze; background noise beckons with a quiet invitation to savor the present moment and revel in the echoes of lovely laughter ringing through his ears.
“Man, reminds me of Clover,” Albert can't help himself smiling, recalling at the time when they visited Megan, she was with her daughter and they had some fun at the park for the little girl's birthday and he had gifted her a kiddie skateboard since Megan mentioned it.
“Hey, don’t take all the credit, I customized it to her favourite cartoon character.” Jake corrects as he nudges Albert by his shoulder.
“Right, right, ‘course buddy, we gifted her.” The younger man trails off, shutting his eyes for a moment when the breeze picks up and brushes over them as if they’re back at the beach from that one group trip where everyone couldn’t come thus had to cancel at last minute, leaving both of them to go. Jake rolls his eyes at the other's sarcasm; a hand with its mind of his own moves up to reach the brunette hair and to pluck off a decaying auburn leaf for a lock of hair placed back in its original spot, everyone has a share of him through the lens but a petty-endearing part of him knows can quench his thirst unlike their fans.
“Argh, think Paige might need to censor this segment off.”
“Nah, she can cut it off.”
The clip closes off with them rising from their spot to head off to a nearby diner to buy their burgers and fries alongside some drinks. Paige does end up censoring a majority of the footage, much to her dismay (not really), rounding off the previous video being around thirty-five minutes to around twenty minutes, and that’s enough content to feed their fans for a week or so.