Chapter Text
"Have you got everything?" my dad asked quietly. His voice, low and perfectly composed, carried over the bustle of King's Cross station.
I looked at him sideways. My father had always seemed to know more than anyone else. But today, something in his eyes unsettled me.
"I have everything, Dad," I replied. "Though I still think you're exaggerating. For years you kept repeating that the wizarding world is too narrow for us, and now suddenly you're sending me to Hogwarts. If you really must be here in England, I could just stay with Uncle Darius."
Dad leaned down and adjusted the collar of my coat.
"The world is changing, Little Bat. The Dark Lord has returned. Old alliances are cracking, and the walls of Albus Dumbledore’s castle are the only place his shadow hasn't reached yet. I'm not sending you there on a whim. I'm sending you there because you'll be safe there."
I couldn't argue.
I clenched my teeth. I didn't like it. My whole life he had kept me under glass, isolated, taught in secret, building an invisible wall around us, and now with a single wave of his hand he was simply getting rid of me.
"Don't look at me like that, please. You have to trust me." He rested his cold hands on my shoulders.
Seeing him this frightened, I found it hard to stay angry with him. I hugged him tightly. I knew he didn't want me to go to Hogwarts.
"Hogwarts is the safest place for you now," he said with disappointment in his voice.
Dad walked me straight to platform nine. The station was full of non-magical people, Muggles, so I felt a bit out of place carrying a large cage with an owl inside. Fortunately, it was sleeping, so it wasn't making noise like earlier in the car.
"The entrance to the platform is there, the metal bar between platform 9 and 10," Dad said, pointing to a red brick wall behind.
"I hope you're not joking, otherwise I'll cause such a spectacle here that they'll take us straight to a psychiatric hospital," I laughed nervously.
Dad smiled slightly as well.
"This is where I have to say goodbye to you," the vampire said. "I'll miss you, Little Bat."
For the first time, we were saying goodbye.
"Be brave. It will be hard for you at the start, but I know you can do it. Maybe you'll make friends with someone-"
"I'll manage," I assured him and grabbed the trolley with my things.
I wanted Dad not to leave, to take me with him wherever he was going, but unfortunately I also knew that was impossible. I pulled myself together and began walking toward the platform. I waved goodbye to Dad from a distance and, with my eyes closed, leaned against the metal barrier.
I slowly opened my eyes. In front of me stood a large, red locomotive, the Hogwarts Express. The platform was filled with young wizards and their parents. The adults wore colourful robes, some of them topped with pointed hats. The train was scheduled to leave at eleven, in half an hour, so I pulled the cage with my new owl, which I hadn't named yet, and the trunk off the trolley, and headed for the train to find a seat.
I was one of the first inside the train. The rest of the students were standing on the platform, still saying goodbye to their families. I went to the very front of the vehicle and sat in one of the open compartments. I decided I wouldn't change into robes just yet. I wanted to do that later in the restroom, and for now, I let out my little owl, which Dad had bought me the day before. He said that thanks to her, it would be easier for us to stay in touch.
"I'll name you Ray," I said aloud. "Do you like it?" At that question, the owl hooted softly and affectionately rubbed its head against my hand. "I take it you like it. Maybe you want to stretch your wings?" The owl danced happily on my lap. "All right, all right." I opened the window and let Ray out into the open air.
Once again, I was alone.
The train began slowly filling up with young wizards. They gave the impression that everyone knew everyone. As they walked past the row where I was sitting, they whispered among themselves. I didn't let it bother me too much; I was ready to become a minor sensation. It was hardly commonplace to begin formal education right at the very end of the whole process.
The compartment I was in quickly filled up. Fortunately, everyone was looking for their acquaintances and friends, so the seat next to me remained empty. When the conductor blew the whistle for departure, I pulled out my Potions textbook and began leafing through it. Over the summer, I had managed to read it four times already. Most of the recipes I already knew by heart.
I really wished to come up with a potion that would cure my Dad's, as he called it, 'curse'.
I was a hybrid of a vampire and a witch. The world wasn't favourable to us. Dad claimed that as a half-vampire, many would consider me a ridiculous freak of nature.
I spent the train ride reading textbooks and looking at the scenery outside the window. When it started getting dark, I looked at the rest of the passengers, most of whom were already changed into black robes. I decided it was time for me as well. I pulled everything I needed from my trunk and headed toward the restroom. As I made my way down the corridor, I heard more and more whispers, but I tried to ignore them.
All my life I had worn Muggle clothes. It was hard for me to get used to the many layers of black fabric, and as I walked between the rows back to my seat, I occasionally brushed against various objects.
"Hey, watch where you're going. You almost knocked over my bag!" hissed some girl. "Maybe a 'sorry' is in order?"
I turned around and saw a pretty brunette. She was sitting with three boys, and nearby in the second row there were another pair of boys and some girl. They all looked serious.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to," I replied, trying to stomp down the urge to snap back. I turned to go back to my seat.
"Not so fast." The girl stepped on the hem of my robe, stopping me in my tracks. "I don't think we've met?" she asked, looking at all her companions to confirm her guess.
Next to her sat a boy with light blonde hair who only looked up for a second, shook his head, and went back to staring out the window. Opposite them sat two broad-shouldered boys, who only looked stupidly at each other and shrugged. On the other side, a tall, thin boy with raven-black hair studied me with a cold gaze, probably evaluating whether it was worth tormenting me. And next to him, two other students, focused on a game of chess, completely ignored the girl's question.
"No. We haven't." I replied, but I squinted my eyes.
"I'm Pansy Parkinson," the girl stood up and extended her hand in greeting.
"Emma," I answered, shaking her hand slowly and rather reluctantly.
"Is that it?" she asked with curiosity in her voice.
At those words, all her companions looked at me and waited for an answer.
"Emma Clark," I said, trying to make my voice sound confident so they wouldn't have any suspicions that it was actually a fake identity.
"Clark? Doesn't ring a bell. And you, Malfoy?" she turned to the blond. He shook his head again. "Nott?" she asked the brunette from the next row, who was still staring at me as if he were seeing a human for the first time in his life.
"Not at all, Pansy," he replied, his voice low and slow. He didn't take his eyes off me, assessing every detail with almost scientific curiosity.
I, on the other hand, felt faint. My father had told me before arriving which people to avoid. Malfoy and Nott bore the surnames of Death Eaters he knew, followers of the Dark Lord.
"What year are you in?" the blond asked.
"Fifth."
Everyone looked at each other.
"Fifth?" Pansy repeated in disbelief. "What house are you in then?"
I wasn't prepared for such a quick interrogation. Before I came here, I had a whole scenario in my head; my fake life was written out and memorized, but now that stress had taken over, I was starting to forget everything. The different versions were starting to blur together, and my hands were sweating.
"I'm not in any house yet," I said quietly.
Everyone was looking at me like some exhibit in a zoo. It felt annoying.
"What do you mean, yet?" Pansy asked, blinking rapidly.
"I'm new," I replied quickly.
"Did the letter fly to Australia so you missed the first year?" asked the tall brunette with cynical amusement.
"No," I laughed nervously. "I was home-schooled."
"Home-schooled?" Pansy persisted with the inquisition.
Under the weight of a half-dozen stares, Malfoy’s evaluation, Nott’s scrutiny, the carefully rehearsed backstory dissolved in my head. Home-schooled? No, that was the backup plan. Or was it the summer cottage in Romania?
"I-I should be going now," I muttered, my fingers digging into the fabric of my sleeve to hide the way my knuckles were shaking.
"Lunatic," Pansy said to her companions as I left their compartment in a hurry.
When I returned to my seat, I pressed my forehead against the cold windowpane. I was furious with myself. I had spent years imagining how I’d handle the outside world, and at my very first real test, I had nearly lost control. If I kept reacting like this, everyone would figure out that something is off.
The train began to slow, and the screech of the brakes jolted me out of my thoughts.
"We will arrive at Hogsmeade station in five minutes," a deep voice boomed loudly through the train. "Please leave your luggage on the train."
When the train stopped and the doors opened, the cold, humid air hit me. I stepped onto the platform and heard a female voice calling for first-year students. In theory, I wasn't a first-year student, but I wondered if I should go in that direction. At that exact moment, someone grabbed my shoulder.
"Hey, need any help? You look lost."
I turned around and saw a boy my height. The wind had slightly ruffled his blond hair. He was smiling uncertainly.
"Hey," I said slowly. "Yeah, um... I'm a bit new here and don't really know where to go," I added, looking around the platform.
The boy raised his eyebrows.
"New, you say?" the boy asked with surprise, and I slowly nodded. "I haven't seen that yet at Hogwarts; a new student who doesn't look eleven. I'm Michael Corner." The boy extended his hand in greeting.
"Emma Clark, nice to meet you," I said, shaking his hand, desperately wishing he would just vanish so I wouldn't have to deal with another conversation.
"We have to go this way." Michael grabbed my back with one hand while the other pointed in the direction we were supposed to go. "Are you on a student exchange?" he asked with curiosity in his voice as we stepped off the platform onto packed dirt where dozens of horseless carriages were waiting for us.
"No," I said curtly, but the boy looked unsatisfied with the answer. "This is my first school."
"First?" he exclaimed in surprise. "You have a lot of work ahead of you to catch up on the material then. If anything, hit me up. I have all the necessary notes. Over the summer, I copied them twice. I wanted to have a backup in case something happened to the originals, you know, OWLs are coming up and-"
"Thanks, but I'll manage," I interrupted him.
Two other students joined our ride, but I had no desire to talk to anyone. My goal was to blend into the crowd as best as possible.
The carriage set off toward the castle. For a moment, I forgot about the train. I couldn't take my eyes off the building. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the boys exchanging embarrassed glances. I simply didn't care. Only one thought hammered in my head: if every day of mine in this school is going to look like this, I won't survive a week.
The carriage rolled down the bumpy road, and the walls of Hogwarts cast increasingly long, ominous shadows around us. I waited for what was to come, with my hands tightly clenched into fists under the hems of my black robe.