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Joseph stared up at the ceiling, his covers pulled up just below his chin. His cheeks were red, eyes wide, his feet curled against each other. He let out a long breath. He thought about one thing… Caesar.
What he didn't realize was that Caesar was thinking about him too.
Caesar still didn't understand why Joseph moved to Italy. Suzi was gone, having ran off with Smokey, and Lisa Lisa went with her to New York.
He could have at least moved in with me… Caesar thought. He watched the stars from his open window, the warm breeze playing with his freshly shampooed hair. No, I'd be in trouble. He hid his face under the blanket for a few seconds, regretting it instantly. Italy was so warm.
Joseph imagined Caesar's blond hair. He remembered how soft it was when it touched his shoulder by accident, how it smelled like fresh flowers and dew when he waited in front of Joseph in line at the market. He wanted to play with it, to rub his cheek against it, to fall asleep with his chin in it at night. Joseph's stomach did a flip.
Caesar thought about Joseph's eyes. So deep, they seemed so endless. Like the ocean. They were expressive, angry when he protected Caesar, soft and gentle when he cried, when he realized Caesar was okay. When Joseph laughed, his cheeks would push against his eyes, making them into arcs. He was charming. Sometimes he made eyes that reminded Caesar of a lost kitten. He wanted to reach for Joseph's face, to look at him closer. Caesar curled up in bed, shoving his face into the hot pillow.
They would meet the following day.
“This again?” Caesar asked, looking around in the open-air restaurant. He hoped he looked at least somewhat handsome in his half tank top that just happened to match Joseph's eyes. He had his triangle patterned bandana on, and his wing clips.
“What do you mean, ‘this again’? You've never been here, at least not with me, right?” Joseph prodded Caesar for an answer, his eyes slightly panicked. Caesar was clearly taking his time to admire the architecture of the building. Joseph was getting impatient. “Hey! Answer me!”
“Relax! No I've never been here.” Caesar pointed to the menu in front of him. “But the menu is very expensive.”
“I can't help but want to treat you all the time…” Joseph pouted. He looked out to the side, his lips puckering in slight embarrassment. Caesar swore he saw heat rise in Joseph's cheeks. Joseph was so adorable to Caesar that he called it unfair. “Besides, you… You're alive and I want to make the most of it.” Joseph looked at Caesar straight in the eyes and took his hands. Caesar was surprised at how gentle Joseph could be with him. “You're like…” And then Joseph stopped talking, looking a little afraid. Caesar was seconds away from asking what was wrong, but a waiter approached them too quickly.
They ordered, and Caesar made sure Joseph tried more new Italian food. They both ordered wine.
Caesar decided not to bring up what happened earlier. He figured if Joseph needed to say what he wanted to say, he would in due time.
They sat in an uncomfortable silence. Joseph stared at his hands when he wasn't drinking. Caesar's fingers twitched. He hoped Joseph didn't realize it was a nervous tick. Their food arrived, and they ate in silence too. All the other diners were couples, talking loudly and laughing. It made Joseph and Caesar feel worse. They tried to eat faster, Joseph paid, and they went out on the gondolas.
Joseph sat across from Caesar, and his heart pounded loudly. If Caesar could hear it he wasn't sure if he was doomed or blessed. Caesar felt the same way. He looked across at Joseph, staring at the low cut of his shirt. His gaze drifted downward, to Joseph's feet. Moments passed, and he witnessed tears slap the ground when the gondola hit land again.
“Jojo…?”
“C-come to my house tonight! Nine o’clock!”
Caesar reached for Joseph to stop him, but he was too fast. Caesar stood there, clutching at his throbbing heart, watching Joseph dart off. Soon he hurt too much to stay in one place and went home.
After a series of nightmares, almost all about Joseph, it was time to wander to Joseph's place. Caesar figured he might spend the night, so he brought extra clothes. He walked slowly so he could be right on time. He worried… He hoped that Joseph was okay. Joseph only cried when he felt very strongly. Caesar knew that.
At one minute before nine, Caesar knocked gently on Joseph's door, his heart pounding.
At nine, Joseph opened the door and immediately took Caesar into his arms.
“You're here.”
“Of-of course…”
“Caesar…”
“Jojo?”
Joseph pulled Caesar inside the house, closing the door behind them.
Joseph stared up, avoiding looking at Caesar. He held him around the waist, and rubbed his cheek in his hair. His breathing was different, and Caesar noticed. Joseph was… He was nervous? Why?
Caesar pet Joseph's back, absolutely confused. Joseph's grip grew tighter, nestling his face in Caesar's hair. Caesar heard him sniffle.
“Jojo?”
“C-Caesar…”
“What's wrong…?”
Joseph squeezed Caesar again around the waist. He sniffled more, the tears fading into Caesar's tank top.
“Nothing's wrong… I'm just…” Joseph took a deep breath and pulled Caesar away to look into his eyes. “I'm just… In love with… Y-y…”
“Who…?” Caesar asked, his eyes bubbling, his heart impatient. Tell me now Jojo, break my heart now.
“With you, Caesar.”
Caesar stared at Joseph, unable to comprehend the answer. It was a prank, wasn't it. Nobody would truly fall in love with Caesar, he was poor. He was uneducated.
“I'm serious. I love you…”
Caesar shook his head.
“No you're not.” Caesar's voice was wobbly, his heart fragile in his chest. It was too good to be true.
“I love you.” Joseph said again.
“You don't.”
“I do, Caesar!” Joseph cried out, his tears hitting the ground. “Don't say I don't! It hurts! I love you! I always have!”
Caesar looked up at him. He wanted to be angry. He was used to the fire in his heart making him feel that way. But as soon as he locked eyes with Joseph, he melted into a puddle of mush.
“You love me?” Caesar asked slowly. Joseph looked away.
“Yeah. But… You don't. So if you want me to go away, then... Then I will.”
“Shut up, I do love you,” Caesar whispered. He stood up on his toes and kissed Joseph's cheek. “I know that because I'd die for you.”
“Y-you shouldn't…”
Caesar lifted Joseph's chin, pressing their dry lips together.
“But I would.”
“... I know…”
Joseph pressed his lips to Caesar's, petting his hair gently with his hands.
“I just want you safe…” Joseph coaxed. “Then everyday I can hold you, I can kiss you… I-I could love you a lot, if you wanted…”
Caesar turned the deepest red he had ever turned in his life.
“You would…?” he asked quietly. He had never felt this shy. Joseph nodded.
“I'll do whatever you want.”
Joseph eventually carried Caesar into his room. They undressed down to their underwear. They allowed one thin layer over their warm bodies, sharing soft whispers and kisses.
“Jojo…” Caesar breathed out, nearly falling asleep, “I think about you... all the time…”
“Me too, Caesar, I think about you always. I love you…” Joseph said, sleepily placing his chin in Caesar's hair.
“Ti amo, tesoro…”
And they drifted asleep into the night, their breaths gentle, their cheeks warm, their hearts beating together.